Do you like/love yourself? Do you have high self-esteem and value yourself as a person...or are you just the complete opposite? I know this is a simple question, but I just wanted to see what kind of discussion that we could generate with a question like this. There are a lot of people that you think are really happy...but deep down inside of them, they are really miserable, but put on a good "face".

No, not in the slightest.

I base my opinion of myself on how others view me.. others don't view me very highly.

see...I don't like myself either. Now...if you know me (on the surface) you might think that I am bubbly and outgoing person, with high self-esteem...but it is completely the opposite for me.  I am very hard on myself, and I blame myself for a lot of things.  I am also really paranoid...and when I am out in public, I sometimes think that people are giving me dirty looks, when most of the time...it is probably in my mind...but I dunno.

see...I don't like myself either. Now...if you know me (on the surface) you might think that I am bubbly and outgoing person, with high self-esteem...but it is completely the opposite for me.  I am very hard on myself, and I blame myself for a lot of things.  I am also really paranoid...and when I am out in public, I sometimes think that people are giving me dirty looks, when most of the time...it is probably in my mind...but I dunno.


Oh God, I know that paranoia.. I hate when people laugh in public.. it always feels like it's at you... I have that weird social paranoia too.

Oh God, I know that paranoia.. I hate when people laugh in public.. it always feels like it's at you... I have that weird social paranoia too.



OMG :o I am the SAME exact way.  Everytime I hear someone laugh...I look at them..and I try to see what they are laughing at, and I always think that it is at me (which 99% of the time, I am sure that it is not)....I hate that about myself! :(

I really do like love me more than anyone else probably does, except those times when I open my mouth and say the wrong thing and then it's too late. i don't like myself much when I do that. But I like who I am, what i see when I look in the mirror, well, some angles aren't too flattering  ;D  but I'm at peace with myself.

I really do like love me more than anyone else probably does, except those times when I open my mouth and say the wrong thing and then it's too late. i don't like myself much when I do that. But I like who I am, what i see when I look in the mirror, well, some angles aren't too flattering  ;D  but I'm at peace with myself.



that's cool..I wish I could be more like that.

No, I don't. There's so much about myself that I would love to change, but I don't really know how to go about doing it. I'm extremely awkward in public, and that's the main thing that I hate about myself.

that's cool..I wish I could be more like that.
it was weird, one time i was making a pot of beans, plain mexican style pinto beans, and you're supposed to pick through them for rocks and bad looking beans. Pretty soon I started finding defects in every single one and thought I'm not gonna have any left and wont be eatin beans unless I accept the fact the they're not perfect and they all have defects and imperfections and I need to just cook them. that was the best tastin pot of beans I think I ever made. there's a moral in here somewhere  8)

I don't like myself, I don't love myself.  Bad things always happen to me.  I'm like a walking disaster ;D

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c235/badfingermike/beavisbuttheadwtf.jpg

Butt-head: "Beavis, you're never gonna score, no chicks dig you, you're a miserable piece of crap"
Beavis:  "Yeah, but I'm hung like a horse".

I hope you don't mind I stuck this in your thread Erin.

No.  I've become quite the misanthrope, and that includes myself.  I am a selfish bastard, even though I try to be polite and get along with everyone.  I'm pretty ugly too  ;D
 
I do feel though, that everyone is deep down a selfish bastard, so I'm able to accept myself.  Think about this: is it even possible to act in a way you don't want to?  Sure, you can say "Someone told me to do it", but you're still choosing to follow their rules because the circumstances cause doing the action to be in your benefit.  Even helping other people usually comes from "feeling their pain", desire for an ego-boost, or simply the like of the company of that person.  But, it's best not to overthink it and just do your best to get along and help people  :)

Well, it's taken a long time and a hell of alot of pain on the way but yes I like myself.I'm comfortable in my skin. That's not to say there aren't things that I could do to improve but on the whole I like who I am. I do still have the occassional moment of doubt , self loathing etc but I try to learn from it.
I was once at a point where I either ended it or made the decsion to grasp life with both hands and that's what I decided to do.I make that sound very easy and it certainly wasn't but I'm very glad I did.

Well, it's taken a long time and a hell of alot of pain on the way but yes I like myself.I'm comfortable in my skin. That's not to say there aren't things that I could do to improve but on the whole I like who I am. I do still have the occassional moment of doubt , self loathing etc but I try to learn from it.
I was once at a point where I either ended it or made the decsion to grasp life with both hands and that's what I decided to do.I make that sound very easy and it certainly wasn't but I'm very glad I did.


Good for you.  Loving yourself is not wrong, but rather the only way to love others :)

No, not particularly

I'm having a bad time at the moment.  I generally come across as being quite happy with myself but there are loads of things I'd like to change about myself.  Sadly apathy is one of the things I'd like to change!

No...never really have done...

I'll give myself 4/10 for effort...

what a crap lot we all sound!!

We're all doomed...!

Who'll jump first  ;D :o

Who'll jump first  ;D :o


I've never felt that bad about it all.

And I can't understand you and paul either.  you both come across as decent blokes

And I can't understand you and paul either.  you both come across as decent blokes


Hear, hear, Karen  :)

Who'll jump first  ;D :o


I'd volunteer...

...but this office is at ground level...!

Thanks for your kind words, karen...and I can relate to the 'apathy'...

I would do something about that, but I can't be arsed!

And I can't understand you and paul either.  you both come across as decent blokes


Paul ?  Nah, he's a bad seed  ;D ;D ;D ;D  :P

Decent is irrelevant.  Besides, in this day and age there have been many times where I honestly wonder whether that counts against me.  In fact, i'll change that, I KNOW it does ...

Maybe I'll change my answer a bit.  *I* like myself, but perhaps I strive too much for others to do likewise, and when they do not, that makes me feel like my original answer.  Freud would have a field day...  ;)

Decent is irrelevant.  Besides, in this day and age there have been many times where I honestly wonder whether that counts against me.  In fact, i'll change that, I KNOW it does ...



Maybe I used the wrong word.  Anyway, you both come across as blokes who I'd drink in the pub with.  (bad grammar but you know what I mean)



Maybe I'll change my answer a bit.  *I* like myself, but perhaps I strive too much for others to do likewise, and when they do not, that makes me feel like my original answer.  Freud would have a field day...  ;)


I know where you're coming from on that.  I try to take the attitude that it's their loss but it doesn't always work

Maybe I used the wrong word.  Anyway, you both come across as blokes who I'd drink in the pub with.  (bad grammar but you know what I mean)

I know where you're coming from on that.  I try to take the attitude that it's their loss but it doesn't always work


Thanks, I'll have a Coke but without the slice of lemon that your pubs seem intent on defiling Coke with  :o :o :o  (last time i was there anyway)  :)

I try to tell myself the same thing but cannot convince myself  :o

Paul ?  Nah, he's a bad seed  ;D ;D ;D ;D  :P


Tsk!

'Rumbled' again!


Anyway, you both come across as blokes who I'd drink in the pub with.  (bad grammar but you know what I mean)

Very bad grammar...surely you mean, 'blokes what I'd drink in the pub with'...!

Very nice...pint of ale if you're buying!

Tsk!

'Rumbled' again!

I'm on your manor and I've tumbled your game, guv'nor  :P

Very bad grammar...surely you mean, 'blokes what I'd drink in the pub with'...!



Youse and Karen talk goodly  ;)

Here you go.  And one for me!

yeah, not a big fan right at the moment. :(

i'm failin' tests of character left and right.

Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't and sometimes I absolutely hate myself. :-[

see...I don't like myself either. Now...if you know me (on the surface) you might think that I am bubbly and outgoing person, with high self-esteem...but it is completely the opposite for me.  I am very hard on myself, and I blame myself for a lot of things.  I am also really paranoid...and when I am out in public, I sometimes think that people are giving me dirty looks, when most of the time...it is probably in my mind...but I dunno.


Yeah, it's the same with me. I've often said the "comfortable" me and the "not so comfortable" me are completely different (heck, I think they're two separate guys who've got nothing in common and have never met). ;D

I've had people who know the confident/comfortable me, and think I must be fearless and great at parties or social sitations. That couldn't be further from the truth, at least in certain times.

I don't know if it's the same with you, but I have a tendency to overanalyze everything about interacting with someone. In other words, wondering how they perceived me -- what I said, or did, or hell, even my appearance. Stuff like that.

I KNOW that I post on message boards to see my own words in print.


i do that!

It may not show all the time, but I KNOW that I"m better at everything than everyone and I KNOW that I post on message boards to see my own words in print. I will ALWAYS take the microphone. I will ALWAYS talk to people in stores and on the bus.  
I always enter contests and try to be the 'volunteer from the audience".

I try not to be annoying while I act this way.  I sometimes get down, but it's never really an internal, sorry for myself thing.
It's usually cuz I can't control the issue.

I guess the answer is Yes, and you should, too!

i do that!

I have no doubt you do, honey.

I have no doubt you do, honey.
harsh!

I think many of you who responded to this thread have been way too hard on yourselves...

You're great people...give yourselves more credit!


As for me, I wouldn't say I have a high level of self-esteem...but I do like myself to some degree. :)

i suppose i'll do in a pinch.

harsh!


No! not harsh!
I meant that in a cheery, rah rah let's go way!

No! not harsh!
I meant that in a cheery, rah rah let's go way!
too late! my self-esteem has completely and irrevocably collapsed. :)

I love myself. I think I'm grand.
When I go to movies, I hold my hand.
I put my arm around my waist,
And when I get fresh, I slap my face.

Boom Boom, ain't it great to be Crazy?
Boom Boom, ain't it great to be Crazy?
Giddy and Foolish all day long
Boom Boom, ain't it great to be Crazy!

I call myself on the telephone
Just to hear my musical tone.
I ask myself for a heavy date,
And I pick myself up at half past eight.

Boom Boom, ain't it great to be Crazy?
Boom Boom, ain't it great to be Crazy?
Giddy and Foolish all day long
Boom Boom, ain't it great to be Crazy!

too late! my self-esteem has completely and irrevocably collapsed. :)

Come on, you weenie! stand up for yourself!!!

I am wondering, after reading these statements of fear and self-loathing, if anyone is perhaps participating in all this out of fear of real, live humans?  I am not asking for confessions, I"m just saying it crossed my mind.
For all the babbling I do here there is an equal amount going on between me and actual people near me.

I sure do  :)

Come on, you weenie! stand up for yourself!!!

I am wondering, after reading these statements of fear and self-loathing, if anyone is perhaps participating in all this out of fear of real, live humans?  I am not asking for confessions, I"m just saying it crossed my mind.
For all the babbling I do here there is an equal amount going on between me and actual people near me.
well, i know i've seen the handle "agoraphobic wacko" on this board before. but iimagine that's tongue in cheek.

you saw my picture with my co-workers? we're all very shy.

I have mixed feelings about myself in general, I'm proud of being myself(quirky and eccentric), but I'm actually abit too timid and shy the other half the time, it's no wonder I'm still single at this time in my life. It's almost like having a polar opposite personality, confident and talkative at one point, docile and introverted the next.

:-[ :-\\

Yeah, it's the same with me. I've often said the "comfortable" me and the "not so comfortable" me are completely different (heck, I think they're two separate guys who've got nothing in common and have never met). ;D

I've had people who know the confident/comfortable me, and think I must be fearless and great at parties or social sitations. That couldn't be further from the truth, at least in certain times.

I don't know if it's the same with you, but I have a tendency to overanalyze everything about interacting with someone. In other words, wondering how they perceived me -- what I said, or did, or hell, even my appearance. Stuff like that.


Me too.  For instance, when I hang with someone I just met I'm bothered by the fact that they don't really know me, so thus can't truly like me.  They only know the best of me, the polite, friendly side. For instance, if I for some reason decided to be a jackass, the situation would be totally different, and that "parallel universe" makes the real situation seem less authentic in a way.

I like myself a lot and I have high self esteem. :)

I like myself a lot and I have high self esteem. :)


Good for you :)

Me too.  For instance, when I hang with someone I just met I'm bothered by the fact that they don't really know me, so thus can't truly like me.   They only know the best of me, the polite, friendly side. For instance, if I for some reason decided to be a jackass, the situation would be totally different, and that "parallel universe" makes the real situation seem less authentic in a way.


I understand that.  We all want to make a nice first impression...however, if I'm with friends and meet new people, I try to treat them the way I want to be treated ...it's a way to be sure the friend I"m making is the kind of person I want to be around....I did that here, too!

Good for you :)



Sometimes I may be shy but I like myself.

I don't know if it's the same with you, but I have a tendency to overanalyze everything about interacting with someone. In other words, wondering how they perceived me -- what I said, or did, or hell, even my appearance. Stuff like that.




Yes...I always overanalyze everything!  Whenever I meet someone, I always think to myself, "what do they think about me?"..etc. It gets on my nerves sometimes how much I do that! :(

I don't really like myself, but I don't completely hate myself either. There are plenty of things i'd change about myself, but there are other things about me that I feel i'm glad to have. Besides, there are people far worse off than me...

I suppose... I consider myself to be very plain, average and ordinary.

I think I have some very good qualities and some not so good ones, but don't we all??  I don't really analyze myself all that much, I just go with the flow and hope that I make the right choices as I chug along.... 8)

Yes. Because I'm the sh*t.  ;D

I kick butt.  ;D

[quote author=Ły

[quote author=Ły

[quote author=Ły

I can be a very fickle person. One moment I am satisfied with myself and look forward to the future and another I can be downright depressed at myself and the world and feel useless. In general though I say there is always room for improvement but moping and feeling sorry for myself is not the solution and work on my value system which is to work hard and persevere. I tend to either wander off  in my own world at times but I feel that is the needed as an escape when I have countless things to do. If I am boring anyone with this feel free to let me know, you wont hurt my feelings  :).

Come on, you weenie! stand up for yourself!!!

I am wondering, after reading these statements of fear and self-loathing, if anyone is perhaps participating in all this out of fear of real, live humans?  I am not asking for confessions, I"m just saying it crossed my mind.
For all the babbling I do here there is an equal amount going on between me and actual people near me.


I am not out going in real life like here. So I guess so.

psssht, I suck.  :P

psssht, I suck.  :P
no way, you rule! you're from the bay area so you got that going for ya.

I suppose... I consider myself to be very plain, average and ordinary.

I think I have some very good qualities and some not so good ones, but don't we all??  I don't really analyze myself all that much, I just go with the flow and hope that I make the right choices as I chug along.... 8)


Whoever voices you, "Oddysey" is awesome  8)

psssht, I suck.  :P



NO....NEVER!!! You are very rad! ;)

NO....NEVER!!! You are very rad! ;)


That was very Beth-esque of you  :D

I left the bay area That's what I have going for me.... :-\\

Oh my gosh I'm so glad I'm not alone. I broke up with my boyfriend of two-months about a week ago, and even though it was my decision I've been really down in the dumps. I'm really hard on myself. Nobody seems to like me anymore. I went through a social nightmare at work, and my ex and I are kinda talking on the phone now so I told him about it, and he was like, "I see. Anyway, I've got to go. I'll call you sometime." !! He called me yesterday asking if I wanted to go out for coffee, which I honestly wasn't able to do, but he didn't ask me again today. Huh?!

I know  I have an attitude of a 10-year-old but I can't help it. I've been trying to change my attitude, but I haven't had much success, which makes me like myself even less.

psssht, I suck.  :P




NO....NEVER!!! You are very rad! ;)



Yeah, Dom, you're pretty fly for a white guy.

Yeah, Dom, you're pretty fly for a white guy.


Yes he is, and you are also quite fly.  But nonetheless,

*Donnie Darko bitch-slaps MidKnightDarkness*

Yes he is, and you are also quite fly.  But nonetheless,

*Donnie Darko bitch-slaps MidKnightDarkness*
*everyone but donnie and midknightdarkness quietly and hastily leaves the thread, western-saloon style.*

Yes he is, and you are also quite fly.  But nonetheless,

*Donnie Darko bitch-slaps MidKnightDarkness*



WhoaMG, you're back! *Sheds single tear*

...

*Windmill kicks Donnie Darko in the left testicle*

WhoaMG, you're back! *Sheds single tear*

...

*Windmill kicks Donnie Darko in the left testicle*


*Lights the saloon on fire, killing everyone on inthe00s but Donnie Darko*

I left the bay area That's what I have going for me.... :-\\
you didn't leave, you were deported  and you didn't answer the important personal ? of the thread.

No, I don't have a very high opinion of myself.
I don't really know if that is warranted or not.

I'm generally a very private person so not many people actually know what I am like.
I can't think of anybody who could actually make a proper critical analysis of me.

I'm generally a very private person so not many people actually know what I am like.
I can't think of anybody who could actually make a proper critical analysis of me.


I am very very private.  I also know that I am irresponsible and childish and selfish and I can't do math in my head.  I still am on my team 100%.  Worse than me have gone farther in life, and zif I've been liked thus far, even with all my faults, then I must be doing pretty good.  I get very withdrawn when I do something wrong (like I don't pay bills in time and my husband gets mad at me) but that's not self-dislike. That is feelings. You can feel terrible things and stil be glad you're you.

That is the end of my speech. See you next week when my topic is "Acid-wash denim: Ich don't think so."

well, it's about time someone spoke up against the communist plot disguised as acid-washed jeans.

i guess i have pretty high self-esteem in the sense that if i have a certain opinion that's pretty much at odds with the rest of the civilized world, i start wondering when the rest of the civiilzed world is going to get its act together.

I've only begun to really like myself maybe within the last 2 to 3 years. Granted, when I really think about it, I've had quite a smooth ride through life for the most part (i.e. no major personal tragedies), but I also used to be really insecure and, to be honest, quite a bit of a "space case," if you will.  I was a big weenie in high school and, looking back, I let a lot of people push me around that really weren't that much stronger than me, either physically or mentally, and it took me a long time to get past that. But the main reason why I have gotten past that and began to think more highly of myself was in part because I made a conscious decision to do so. And since I made that decision, I've made an effort to try and improve myself in areas where I felt I needed improvement.  
   Perhaps the thing that really helped me the most (and it was actually quite by accident) was that I had a job that forced me to become more confident. It may not sound like much, but I worked in a construction-related field (driving a cement mixer) for about a year-and-a-half, and I learned right from the get-go that if I showed any sign of weakness or indecision or incompetence around these concrete workers they'd walk all over me and rip me a new one. So from day one I carried myself with an air of authority and quickly developed a take-charge attitude, and I made an all-out effort to do the best job I could and they all respected me. This may sound a little cheesy, but as soon as I'd show up to a job site, I would think to myself, "I've never been more sure of myself in my life than I am right now." (Some of these guys would still try and mess with me, but I'd throw it right back at them and they'd back off. A little bit of cocky swagger never hurts.   ;D) And I've noticed that since I've adopted that attitude, people in general treat me with a lot more respect than they used to.
   The bottom line is, I'd have to say that when it's all said and done, it all comes down to what you believe about yourself. I think the keys to being happy are believing in yourself and giving your very best effort in the things you do, and accepting the fact that you're only human and you're going to have some flaws and not to get too down on yourself because of them, and instead try to minimize those flaws. (One of my biggest flaws is that I'll work my tail off when I'm at my job, but once I get home I'm rather lazy.) I still have my periods of self-doubt and I'll get into a funk every now and then, but they usually don't last very long because I also believe that the brain is a self-healing organ if you let it be.

I've only begun to really like myself maybe within the last 2 to 3 years. Granted, when I really think about it, I've had quite a smooth ride through life for the most part (i.e. no major personal tragedies), but I also used to be really insecure and, to be honest, quite a bit of a "space case," if you will.  I was a big weenie in high school and, looking back, I let a lot of people push me around that really weren't that much stronger than me, either physically or mentally, and it took me a long time to get past that. But the main reason why I have gotten past that and began to think more highly of myself was in part because I made a conscious decision to do so. And since I made that decision, I've made an effort to try and improve myself in areas where I felt I needed improvement.  
   Perhaps the thing that really helped me the most (and it was actually quite by accident) was that I had a job that forced me to become more confident. It may not sound like much, but I worked in a construction-related field (driving a cement mixer) for about a year-and-a-half, and I learned right from the get-go that if I showed any sign of weakness or indecision or incompetence around these concrete workers they'd walk all over me and rip me a new one. So from day one I carried myself with an air of authority and quickly developed a take-charge attitude, and I made an all-out effort to do the best job I could and they all respected me. This may sound a little cheesy, but as soon as I'd show up to a job site, I would think to myself, "I've never been more sure of myself in my life than I am right now." (Some of these guys would still try and mess with me, but I'd throw it right back at them and they'd back off. A little bit of cocky swagger never hurts.   ;D) And I've noticed that since I've adopted that attitude, people in general treat me with a lot more respect than they used to.
   The bottom line is, I'd have to say that when it's all said and done, it all comes down to what you believe about yourself. I think the keys to being happy are believing in yourself and giving your very best effort in the things you do, and accepting the fact that you're only human and you're going to have some flaws and not to get too down on yourself because of them, and instead try to minimize those flaws. (One of my biggest flaws is that I'll work my tail off when I'm at my job, but once I get home I'm rather lazy.) I still have my periods of self-doubt and I'll get into a funk every now and then, but they usually don't last very long because I also believe that the brain is a self-healing organ if you let it be.


Good for you :)

You have to be somewhat assertive to be successful.  Or else you'll never get anything you want, and will let others make you do bad stuff.

Good for you :)
and will let others make you do bad stuff.


Good point!

I know I'm a good person inside and out so I like myself a lot. :)

I like myself in some ways such as being beautiful, creative, loyal and trusting. In some ways I dislike myself such as whether certain clothes will fit me or not because of my weight, the feeling of not working hard enough at college last term (which is why I'm taking a break) and if I'll ever end up in hospital again. I was in hospital for three nights last year and I didn't like it because some of the nurses were horrible (especially a blonde one who kept going in my dorm and wouldn't let me have my radio on unless it's been checked by an electrician) and I was bored a lot. At the hospital when my mum picked me up, a man in a wheelchair told her that the nurses were b****es.