Inspired by Skaters' 'best one liner' thread, I decided to post a 'hypothetical come-back one liner thead.' What is that, you say? Well, since being the polite person I am I rarely actually make use of my acid tongue (well all have one inside us) I decided to start a 'come-back' thread game sort of thing. I know, it sounds pretty lame. For instance, I'll write down an insult and you have to think of a  response you would say if someone said it to you. A short description of the situation, circumstances, characters.etc should be included. The more creative and ridiculous the better. For example,

You are at the supermarket and stick-thin, middle aged woman who has had major 'work done' comes up to you (you know the type), looks in your shopping trolley and says, "there's more grease in their than the hair of a Mafia don"
You might say, "(pointing to her) there's more plastic in there than a tupperware convention."(ok that was a crappy example) The comebacks can include such gestures.
Anyway, as in a real situation a comeback which turns the insult around is always best.

So, if any of you are still with me (doubtfully). I'll start.

You are walking in the street one day when a chubby, spoilt brat of a kid - I mean he makes Dennis the Menace look like a choirboy - with a face pimply face comes up to and says,
"You're face looks like my grandmother's butt" (or something immature like that)
What would you say to that?

I'd tell him...

"Hey I saw your grandmother's butt just last night and it looked pretty good to me"  ;D

"And you look like the sh*t she just took"

You are walking in the street one day when a chubby, spoilt brat of a kid - I mean he makes Dennis the Menace look like a choirboy - with a face pimply face comes up to and says,
"You're face looks like my grandmother's butt" (or something immature like that)
What would you say to that?
I'd say, "How do you know what your grandma's butt looks like?"  ??? ;D

"Maybe so, but atleast my face wasn't getting worked in last night by you"

:o  ;D

and the award goes to...


"And you look like the sh*t she just took"

Oh yeah?  Well you're so ugly, every time your mother looks at you she says to herself, "Damn, I should've just given head"

;D