Lo and behold.

http://pd.xanga.com/d7/07/d7070fa19dc43f6ddc45f0c60206604014686311.jpg



AHHHHHHH!

Lo and behold.

http://pd.xanga.com/d7/07/d7070fa19dc43f6ddc45f0c60206604014686311.jpg


you can't tell from that!

you can't tell from that!


Well, just below my nose is a bad one.. that was a cut, though.. most of my acne is clevery hidden behind my hair. Or on my nose.. makes scratching very painful.

Lo and behold.

http://pd.xanga.com/d7/07/d7070fa19dc43f6ddc45f0c60206604014686311.jpg



*Cue collective "awww's"* ....*sappy grin*



Beth

*Cue collective "awww's"* ....*sappy grin*


Good Lord woman, you can't "awwwww" a fifteen year old man!  >:( ;)

Simon Cowell is an insulting sonofabitch. >:(

Good Lord woman, you can't "awwwww" a fifteen year old man!   >:( ;)



Watch me!  >:(




Beth

Watch me!  >:(


It just isn't right.

Now that American Idol is back, I've decided to revive this thread. Don't worry, I've become a lot meaner since I first made this thread, or so I've been told...

meanmeat! that's what we're always calling you behind your back.

now who's simon cowell? remember, if it happened after 1978, i don't care.

You are too gooey and much too karaoke for me,Sorry!  ;D

meanmeat! that's what we're always calling you behind your back.

now who's simon cowell? remember, if it happened after 1978, i don't care.


MeanMeat!? What kind of stupid insult name is that? Sure, it has alliteration, but it's totally textbook. I mean, it's SO expected, like a cabaret singer.

... You have absolutely no talent coming up with insulting names. Absolutely appalling.

You are too gooey and much too karaoke for me,Sorry!  ;D



Gooey? I'm gooey? What does that mean? I'm as hard as a rock. Check out my tremendous pectorals! Heh, I forgot to mention... I can compliment myself.. just not you. >:-}D

That was like a ghastly cruise ship performance!

That was like a ghastly cruise ship performance!


Hey. Shut your trap, you fat beast. This is MY insult thread, not yours. Go find your own karaoke bar to perform your terrible impressions.

You look like a cheap version of a table dancer! ;D

Gooey? I'm gooey? What does that mean? I'm as hard as a rock. Check out my tremendous pectorals! Heh, I forgot to mention... I can compliment myself.. just not you. >:-}D



Too sugary sweet.

Rubbish!, you could see that in any hotel across America.

You look like a cheap version of a table dancer! ;D


You look like the cheap version of a garbage rummager!

MeanMeat!? What kind of stupid insult name is that? Sure, it has alliteration, but it's totally textbook. I mean, it's SO expected, like a cabaret singer.

... You have absolutely no talent coming up with insulting names. Absolutely appalling.
g'dam. tia got served. ;D

You look like the cheap version of a garbage rummager!


No I don't. >:(

Rubbish!, you could see that in any hotel across America.


At least it's not a hotel performance from India.

Now go do what you do best... Cleaning toilets!

Yes you do.

No I don't. >:(


Yes, you do. A GOOEY garbage rummager.

At least it's not a hotel performance from India.

Now go do what you do best... Cleaning toilets!


Why don't you go clean a toilet! >:(

Yes, you do. A GOOEY garbage rummager.


What does one look like?

I will no be contributing to this thread for Simon Cowell resides down the road from me...

Why don't you go clean a toilet! >:(


Because Simon Cowell hires kings and queens to clean his toilets.

What does one look like?


You.

Simon Cowell, you're ego is bigger than the Earth!

I will no be contributing to this thread for Simon Cowell resides down the road from me...


You have already posted. Too late. >:-}D

Philip Eno, you are a wimpy wuss who is too afraid to be insulted heavily... So I shall insult you lightly..

... Wuss.

Simon Cowell, you're ego is bigger than the Earth!


Yeah? Well your belly is bigger than the Earth.

Because Simon Cowell hires kings and queens to clean his toilets.


Aren't you one of them? ;D

Aren't you one of them? ;D


No no no. I'm more than a king. I am GOD.

Yeah? Well your belly is bigger than the Earth.


Is that the best you can do? ;D

Is that the best you can do? ;D


No. But it's better than the best YOU can do!

No no no. I'm more than a king. I am GOD.


God of the toilets?

No. But it's better than the best YOU can do!


At what, pray tell?

Being an Egotist?

Unlike you, Simon Cowell, I don't have World's biggest Egotist as a goal. ;D

God of the toilets?


God of everything...

Hey Simon,kiss my a**,baby!

I have pictures of Simon Cowell that involve a bus, two cactuses and an army of albino migdets.

And it ain't a comedy.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Yeah? Well your belly is bigger than the Earth.
yo momma so fat her belly's an hour later than her ass.

how's that?

and momma cutdowns are very 70s, and therefore tia-compliant.

you momma so fat her belly's an hour later than her ass.

how's that?


You momma so fat she need a boomerang just to put a belt on.

You remind me of a whale.

You momma so fat she need a boomerang just to put a belt on.
s**t. that's pretty good.

i made up the timezone one though? did you make up the boomerang one? if not, simon cowell will berate you.

Yo momma so fat she sat on a dollar and made change.

s**t. that's pretty good.

i made up the timezone one though? did you make up the boomerang one? if not, simon cowell will berate you.


I did.

At what, pray tell?

Being an Egotist?

Unlike you, Simon Cowell, I don't have World's biggest Egotist as a goal. ;D


At insulting!

Hey Simon,kiss my a**,baby!


Mmm, tasty. But ugly.

I have pictures of Simon Cowell that involve a bus, two cactuses and an army of albino migdets.

And it ain't a comedy.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


Why, pray tell, do you have a picture of THAT? Do you stare at it all night longingly?

yo momma so fat her belly's an hour later than her ass.

how's that?

and momma cutdowns are very 70s, and therefore tia-compliant.


Yo' mama's so fat, it takes two trains and a bus to get on her good side! >=O

At insulting!


Well, I won't argue there....

Since I go by facts. ::)

You remind me of a whale.



You remind me of the whole ocean!

s**t. that's pretty good.

i made up the timezone one though? did you make up the boomerang one? if not, simon cowell will berate you.


Yo' mama's so stupid, she must be step-chan.

Why, pray tell, do you have a picture of THAT? Do you stare at it all night longingly?


Because I'm about to blackmail you, you limey ego-boy you. :D

Because I'm about to blackmail you, you limey ego-boy you. :D


I'm so egotistical that I believe nothing will ever change peoples' (Good) opinions on me!

i like meat!. i don't care what everybody says.

Yo' mama's so stupid, she must be step-chan.


Too busy listening to Bambi Slaughter to give a ****.

i like meat!. i don't care what everybody says.


Well, thanks! Wait... what DO people say?

I mean... Oh, that's too bad, because Meat! hates you!

Too busy listening to Bambi Slaughter to give a ****.


Bambi Slaughter? What kind of sick, perverted person would listen to something like THAT?

I'm so egotistical that I believe nothing will ever change peoples' (Good) opinions on me!


You keep telling yourself that.

Someone isn't getting the point of this thread.

Bambi Slaughter? What kind of sick, perverted person would listen to something like THAT?


This song here is what I'm a listening too...

It seems to attack rednecks.

Someone isn't getting the point of this thread.


There's a point?

There's a point?



Okay, so point was far-reaching. 

i like meat!. i don't care what everybody says.


Yes, i liked him too...he was the kid who got banned for being so annoying,right?

Yes, i liked him too...he was the kid who got banned for being so annoying,right?


You wish ;)

I believe you're in the wrong thread... you're looking for On Fantasy Island
;D ;D

Yes, i liked him too...he was the kid who got banned for being so annoying,right?


I believe you're in the wrong thread... you're looking for On Fantasy Island

(had gone to modify, managed to remove... this is not my day with computers)

Someone isn't getting the point of this thread.


All is fair in this thread, he can taunt, so can I.

I think it's meant to be in the vein of Simon Cowell, but only funny.

I think it's meant to be in the vein of Simon Cowell, but only funny.


Simon Cowell and funny together in a sentence is hilarious.

You remind me of the whole ocean!


You remind me of Ocean's 11

You're a musical beard. Your singing doesn't come out quite right, and you're a lot more refined when you keep it in.

??? I'm out of insults.

??? I'm out of insults.


Figures you'd be, you git.

Your insults are like a pen - The more you write, the less useful you become.

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w27/Nekonin/Anime%20and%20Games/monstaworld34591824vvdv.jpg

You're insults are like this mislabed screen(That's a girl, not a boy).....

Well.... Nevermind, this is starting to look stupid.

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w27/Nekonin/Anime%20and%20Games/monstaworld34591824vvdv.jpg

You're insults are like this mislabed screen(That's a girl, not a boy).....

Well.... Nevermind, this is starting to look stupid.


Your sentences are like a Picasso painting... Better off unfinished.

Your sentences are like a Picasso painting... Better off unfinished.


Just like your face....  :P ::)

Just like your face....  :P ::)


So now what? You're insulting me by returning what I've said? That must mean you've got a lot of respect for my insults!

Figures you'd be, you git.

Your insults are like a pen - The more you write, the less useful you become.


http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/11/cussing.gif Up Yours!

So now what? You're insulting me by returning what I've said? That must mean you've got a lot of respect for my insults!


Actually, it was insult mimicry no jutsu.... I rarely use it.

So now what? You're insulting me by returning what I've said? That must mean you've got a lot of respect for my insults!


I DON'T!  >:(

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/11/cussing.gif Up Yours!


Why do you want your pen up mine? That's a little gay.

Actually, it was insult mimicry no jutsu.... I rarely use it.


I'm flattered that you'd want to use your rare artform on me. Of course, at the same time I'm not flattered, since you're nothing but a lowlife to me.

I'm flattered that you'd want to use your rare artform on me. Of course, at the same time I'm not flattered, since you're nothing but a lowlife to me.


That does it....!!!!

Catgirl Harem No Jutsu!!!

(Step-chan transforms into 9 sexy catgirls and surrounds Simon Cowell... What will happen next?)

That does it....!!!!

Catgirl Harem No Jutsu!!!

(Step-chan transforms into 9 sexy catgirls and surrounds Simon Cowell... What will happen next?)


I think Simon Cowell would have sex with them all.

I think Simon Cowell would have sex with them all.


Step-Chan, do you want sex with Simon? You only had to ask!

Step-Chan, do you want sex with Simon? You only had to ask!


Damn! I was hoping Simon would pass out!

(Step-chan changes back)

Damn! I was hoping Simon would pass out!

(Step-chan changes back)


Or nosebleed?

Why do you want your pen up mine? That's a little gay.


It's not that gay.

It's not that gay.


Sticking a long hard object up my butt? Yeah, a little.

Or nosebleed?


Like in Naruto!  ;D :D

Like in Naruto!  ;D :D


Very good. I think you've been reading some manga.

Very good. I think you've been reading some manga.


And watching whatever I can on youtube part of the time.

Sticking a long hard object up my butt? Yeah, a little.



It wouldn't hurt to me.

It wouldn't hurt to me.


But it would still be gay.

But it would still be gay.


But gay is now,It's happening.Today is The Gay Parade.

But gay is now,It's happening.Today is The Gay Parade.


Absolutely.  If you want to be on one of those A&E or HGTV shows where they come and make over your home, being a gay couple is a huge advantage.  Something like half the houses they fix up are owned by gay couples it seems (unscientific survey).

So yes, Gay is hip, happenin' and where it's at today.

Absolutely.  If you want to be on one of those A&E or HGTV shows where they come and make over your home, being a gay couple is a huge advantage.  Something like half the houses they fix up are owned by gay couples it seems (unscientific survey).

So yes, Gay is hip, happenin' and where it's at today.


Howard, do you want to be happenin'? Paris Hilton's  happenin', and she's in jail.

Howard, do you want to be happenin'? Paris Hilton's  happenin', and she's in jail.


So What? Big Deal! >:(

So What? Big Deal! >:(


Are you saying you don't care if you're in jail?

Has Simon Cowell been in jail?  :D

Are you saying you don't care if you're in jail?


I care. ::)

Has Simon Cowell been in jail?  :D


Has he? ???

Has Simon Cowell been in jail?  :D
He was on This Is Your Life recently and no mention was made then.

He was on This Is Your Life recently and no mention was made then.


who hosts that now?

who hosts that now?
It was a special TIYL and Sir Trevor MacDonald hosted this one off.

Has Simon Cowell been in jail?  :D


I'm so smarky that the police get confused and I can run away from them.

"If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.”  ;D

"If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.”  ;D


I've never said that!

However, if your singing is as bad as your insults, nobody would be crying.

I'm so smarky that the police get confused and I can run away from them.


Don't you mean "snarky" or "smarmy"?

Or is this a combination of the two?  :D

Don't you mean "snarky" or "smarmy"?

Or is this a combination of the two?  :D


You have to be British to understand the enormous sophistication of that comment.

You have to be British to understand the enormous sophistication of that comment.


British and sophistication sounds unique.

British and sophistication sounds unique.


You're not making any sense.

You're not making any sense.


I'm not supposed to.  ;)  :D  ;D

I've never said that!

However, if your singing is as bad as your insults, nobody would be crying.


Well someone should be crying and that's you! >:(

Well someone should be crying and that's you! >:(


Why is that?

I miss this topic.

BRING IT ON, BITCHES!

I miss this topic.

BRING IT ON, BITCHES!


When you going to realise...you're no Bethany,kid!

When you going to realise...you're no Bethany,kid!


Duh, I'm Simon Cowell. Who wants to be Bethany when you can be England's biggest badass?

Duh, I'm Simon Cowell. Who wants to be Bethany when you can be England's biggest badass?


Biggest badass ;D You're funny ::)

Biggest badass ;D You're funny ::)


Funny is not what Simon Cowell is all about. Speaking in third person and being mean is what he's about.

Simon Cowell has about as much "real power" in the music industry as Ron Jeremy does in serious acting.

Simon Cowell has about as much "real power" in the music industry as Ron Jeremy does in serious acting.


;D

Simon Cowell has about as much "real power" in the music industry as Ron Jeremy does in serious acting.


Call it what you want, but the power of fear and the following of all of the US and UK is a strong one, indeed. Now go wash my dishes.

Call it what you want, but the power of fear and the following of all of the US and UK is a strong one, indeed. Now go wash my dishes.

I have a better idea, Simon:

Smell my cat's butt, and tell me if you detect talent.

Simon Cowell has about as much "real power" in the music industry as Ron Jeremy does in serious acting.


At least Simon hasn't been in a porn before. ;D

At least Simon hasn't been in a porn before. ;D



Yeah, like someone would like to see that!  The only one Simon would seriously F is himself.

I miss this topic.

BRING IT ON, BITCHES!


Yeah right.  I tried a flame thread, anything more than a bic lighter sent them scurrying for their blankies    ::)

alright but if you mention my weight I will track you down and sit on you!  >:(

Hey, Simon:

Remember this little gem?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TAxqaTzP-3k

Yeah right.  I tried a flame thread, anything more than a bic lighter sent them scurrying for their blankies    ::)



Well, aren't you just a BAD. ASS.

Well, aren't you just a BAD. ASS.


No, this is a bad ass.

*picture removed due to large hairy balls*

That bad ass has big balls!  :o

That bad ass has big balls!  :o


Oh shiznit....I didn't even see that. I'll fix it right now.

Well, aren't you just a BAD. ASS.



http://www.carstickers.com/prodimages/403.gif


What do the ASS backward do?

Yeah, like someone would like to see that!  The only one Simon would seriously F is himself.


I can see him insulting one of the porn actors now. ;D

I can see him insulting one of the porn actors now. ;D




All he would have to do is lean back in his chair and say "Is that all you've got"  ;D

http://www.jaunted.com/files/admin/cowellthumbsdown.jpg

All he would have to do is lean back in his chair and say "Is that all you've got"   ;D

http://www.jaunted.com/files/admin/cowellthumbsdown.jpg



Or he would say "That is the worst looking penis I've ever seen in my life If I have to say myself". ;D

Or he would say "That is the worst looking penis I've ever seen in my life If I have to say myself". ;D


Then you'd have to wonder how many he had seen, up close and personal  :o

I have a better idea, Simon:

Smell my cat's butt, and tell me if you detect talent.


If you pay me.

However, you must know that if I don't find any talent, I will surely hang your cat out to dry.

At least Simon hasn't been in a porn before. ;D


I don't need to act out sex. I get plenty of it every night!

Yeah right.  I tried a flame thread, anything more than a bic lighter sent them scurrying for their blankies    ::)


This thread has gone places, but you're just oblivious. This isn't a "flame thread," it's the best damn criticism you'll ever get.

alright but if you mention my weight I will track you down and sit on you!  >:(


Do you think I'd actually let you sit on me? No, I'm sure I could outrun you. Not that I'd need to, for anybody as stupid and untalented as you would not be able to track me down.

Hey, Simon:

Remember this little gem?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TAxqaTzP-3k


Anybody who would even for a moment finds that funny doesn't deserve to watch youtube videos anymore.

All he would have to do is lean back in his chair and say "Is that all you've got"   ;D

http://www.jaunted.com/files/admin/cowellthumbsdown.jpg


*Creams at picture.*

Simon-

Has anyone ever told you that your hair reminds them of Donald Trump, before the bad hair transplant?

*Creams at picture.*


Eww... :o 8-P :P

Simon-

Has anyone ever told you that your hair reminds them of Donald Trump, before the bad hair transplant?


No, thank GOD. That talentless loser of a reality TV show character has no place in comparing with me.

I don't need to act out sex. I get plenty of it every night!


Yeah? With Who? Paula Abdul? ;D ::)

Yeah? With Who? Paula Abdul? ;D ::)


You bet, and your mother.

No, thank GOD. That talentless loser of a reality TV show character has no place in comparing with me.


Well, that's true. Who could EVER compare with King Simon, the Emperor Of Losers?
Couldn't even stop Paula Abdul from gassin' on ya.

You bet, and your mother.



No,My Mother's been married for 40 years.

Well, that's true. Who could EVER compare with King Simon, the Emperor Of Losers?
Couldn't even stop Paula Abdul from gassin' on ya.


I attract everything, down to Paula's farts.

I attract everything, down to Paula's farts.
you are a fart magnet 

you are a fart magnet 


Fart and heart magnet.

I attract everything, down to Paula's farts.


Wow,must be a stinker.

Wow,must be a stinker.


They smell like Paula, so yes. But I'd still hit that.

They smell like Paula, so yes. But I'd still hit that.

Rather like you hit your own mother last night?

Rather like you hit your own mother last night?



Well, once a mother****er, always a motherf.....  ;D

They smell like Paula, so yes. But I'd still hit that.


How do you know what her farts smell like?  ::)

Well, once a mother****er, always a motherf.....  ;D

Karma!
Score one for the Cavalry!

You are the worst insult for a human being. ;D

Rather like you hit your own mother last night?


I only hit her because she wouldn't leave me alone.

How do you know what her farts smell like?  ::)


... o_O Because she's farted on me.

You are the worst insult for a human being. ;D


You are the worst insult for an insult-maker.

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries.

... o_O Because she's farted on me.


That fart she farted grew up to be you

That fart she farted grew up to be you


He's a fart?  ;D

Hey Simon, the best part of you is still running down your mothers leg!!!!!!! (and I tried to be nice here)

So, Simon....you and DOnald Trump share the same toupee company, then?

Trump and Cowell are walking advertisements for toupees and man bras.

Trump and Cowell are walking advertisements for toupees and man bras.


and hair.

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries.


Your mother was eaten by my mother.

That fart she farted grew up to be you


She farted on me as an adult, so that makes no sense.

Trump and Cowell are walking advertisements for toupees and man bras.


Bras cannot even begin to hold my heavy duty pecs.

I think everybody is missing the point here.

They are not supposed to be insulting Simon, but indeed being insulted by Simon.

Hey Simon, the best part of you is still running down your mothers leg!!!!!!! (and I tried to be nice here)


Yeah? The best part of you is in my mouth.

Yeah? The best part of you is in my mouth.


now that's what I'm talking about!  ;D

Bras cannot even begin to hold my heavy duty pecs.

I think everybody is missing the point here.

They are not supposed to be insulting Simon, but indeed being insulted by Simon.


If Simon gets to insult, we get to insult back. :P

They are not supposed to be insulting Simon, but indeed being insulted by Simon.




OOOOOOHHHH! well, no fun in that. 

You have the worst looking Llama I've ever seen.

If Simon gets to insult, we get to insult back. :P


If you think you're even remotely equivilant to me in rights, you are dead wrong.

I'M the insulter here, you have no say in the matter.

You have the worst looking Llama I've ever seen.


You have the worst looking face I've ever seen.

BTW- I got some, last night. How 'bout you?  ;)

BTW- I got some, last night. How 'bout you?  ;)



Anything Simon gets requires a booster shot

You have the worst looking face I've ever seen.


Thank You.

BTW- I got some, last night. How 'bout you?  ;)


I have no interest in hearing about your some.

I'd rather relish in the two somes I got last night.

Anything Simon gets requires a booster shot


You're like punk rock - Full of spunk, but just plain dumb. *Shakes head*

I have no interest in hearing about your some.

I'd rather relish in the two somes I got last night.

Oh, yeah. I forgot...you visited Ma Thumb and her 4 daughters.

Oh, yeah. I forgot...you visited Ma Thumb and her 4 daughters.


So then you admit to it?

I admit it fully....You were seen wanking off in the Lingerie section of Richard Simmons's new clothing shop!

I admit it fully....You were seen wanking off in the Lingerie section of Richard Simmons's new clothing shop!


No, you said "Ma Thumb." Ma' is a shortened version of "Mah", which is "My" with an accent.

So I believe you were giving me the wanking.

No, you said "Ma Thumb." Ma' is a shortened version of "Mah", which is "My" with an accent.

So I believe you were giving me the wanking.

Oh, so now you're a linguist!
Which tells me you speak Colonic quite well.

Oh, so now you're a linguist!
Which tells me you speak Colonic quite well.


Only you'd think of an insult such as that. You must have colons on your mind quite a lot.

Only you'd think of an insult such as that. You must have colons on your mind quite a lot.

Well, when I hear from arseholes such as you....I figure I'd better speak your language:

*fart, farrrrt, faaaaaaaaaaarrrrt, fart-fart-fart, fa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-rt!*

Well, when I hear from arseholes such as you....I figure I'd better speak your language:

*fart, farrrrt, faaaaaaaaaaarrrrt, fart-fart-fart, fa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-rt!*


That's Paula's language, arsey.

And, by the way, those farts were totally out of tune, horrid.

That's Paula's language, arsey.

And, by the way, those farts were totally out of tune, horrid.



How do you know what they sound like?

That's Paula's language, arsey.

And, by the way, those farts were totally out of tune, horrid.

They were tuned by your voice.

They were tuned by your voice.


More like your arse.

More like your arse.

Your insults are as original as your accent....not at all.

Your insults are as original as your accent....not at all.


Your insults make about as much sense as your choice of favorite movie... not much.

Your insults make about as much sense as your choice of favorite movie... not much.


Make more sense than you do.
And btw- I don't have to pad the front of my pants.

Make more sense than you do.
And btw- I don't have to pad the front of my pants.



Or his man bra 

http://www.makemeheal.com/news/images/simon-cowell-man-boobs.jpg

Or his man bra 

http://www.makemeheal.com/news/images/simon-cowell-man-boobs.jpg


HAHA,He has man-titties!  ;D

HAHA,He has man-titties!  ;D



Well...maybe, 1/2 a man  ::)

Well...maybe, 1/2 a man   ::)


What's the other half?

Or his man bra 

http://www.makemeheal.com/news/images/simon-cowell-man-boobs.jpg
Can he put a shirt on?

Or his man bra 

http://www.makemeheal.com/news/images/simon-cowell-man-boobs.jpg



Is it a Manssiere  or Bro?

You got bigger boobs than I do, dawg!

You got bigger boobs than I do, dawg!


And proud of it. How do you get any if you don't have your essential man-parts!?

Here is a rare picture of Simon Cowell, as a young child:































































http://nursemyra.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/fart-power.jpg

Simon,you're a Dick.

Simon,you're a Dick.


If I'm a Dick, then why do you call me Simon?

If I'm a Dick, then why do you call me Simon?


I have no idea.