Ok, they say every family has one. That person, uncle, cousin, in-law, etc. . . .  that always seems to do something embarrassing at family functions. I'm having a party for my daughters graduation from her Medical Assistant School. And, of course there's one relative that will be here that is sure to make an @ss out of himself. I just hope he doesn't ruin the day, for her sake.  :( 

Yes...that family member is me...!!

You can either apply serious threats to the said person, Rhonda - or better still, don't invite 'em!

Hope all goes well in any event and well done to your daughter...

Yes...that family member is me...!!

You can either apply serious threats to the said person, Rhonda - or better still, don't invite 'em!

Hope all goes well in any event and well done to your daughter...

First of all, I can hardly believe you are the annoying one! Yes, good advice you give there, but he will be here, so we'll just have to stop anything stupid before it happens. Hopefully, everything will be ok.  :)

First of all, I can hardly believe you are the annoying one! Yes, good advice you give there, but he will be here, so we'll just have to stop anything stupid before it happens. Hopefully, everything will be ok.  :)
First, congratulations to  your daughter and I hope everything goes smoothly for all of you :)

Yes a few...

On my mom's side..my brother.  He's loud and lies alot.
On my dad's side...my aunt.  She is bossy and throws fits and drinks too much.  
On my hubby's side....My MIL (mother in law)  She also throws fits if she dosent get her way about things.

First, congratulations to  your daughter and I hope everything goes smoothly for all of you :)

Thanks Mark. I'm probably worrying for nothing. Just have memories of past events. . . . . .  :o  ;) 

Thanks Mark. I'm probably worrying for nothing. Just have memories of past events. . . . . .  :o  ;) 
Your welcome Rhonda, but I'll still be hoping for the best ;)

My mother

Geez, it's probably me!

I've heard people say there's "never a dull moment" with me around - aside from saying something funny or telling a story at a strange time, I'm a bit clumsy (eg: I'm almost as bad as Gerald Ford with falling down steps, LOL!). ;D

hahaha..this thread is GREAT!! My sis is going to LOVE this one..but I beat her to it!


Ok....our family is sooo dysfunctional...it's almost a comedy. 

My aunt on my mom's side is the "ringleader" of the dysfunctional circus. She is a major alcoholic....and she manages to ruin every holiday or function that has anything possible to do with our family.  We just recently celebrated our grandma's birthday by throwing her a surprise party...and yep..good old Aunt Cindy came to the party and brought her drunk friend to the gala affair!

Her two sons are pretty dysfunctional as well.....always relying on everyone else in the family to bail them out of situations, etc.

Then we have uncles who have cheated on aunts, aunts who are pretty old and think that they are still in their 20's and are major flirts everywhere they go....hahahaha...

that's just the tip of the iceberg....I will leave some of the other goodies for Beth to detail for you! LOL!


Erin :)

hahaha..this thread is GREAT!! My sis is going to LOVE this one..but I beat her to it!


Ok....our family is sooo dysfunctional...it's almost a comedy. 

My aunt on my mom's side is the "ringleader" of the dysfunctional circus. She is a major alcoholic....and she manages to ruin every holiday or function that has anything possible to do with our family.  We just recently celebrated our grandma's birthday by throwing her a surprise party...and yep..good old Aunt Cindy came to the party and brought her drunk friend to the gala affair!

Her two sons are pretty dysfunctional as well.....always relying on everyone else in the family to bail them out of situations, etc.

Then we have uncles who have cheated on aunts, aunts who are pretty old and think that they are still in their 20's and are major flirts everywhere they go....hahahaha...

that's just the tip of the iceberg....I will leave some of the other goodies for Beth to detail for you! LOL!


Erin :)




*clears throat*


Well....


Erin, remember the time grandma found cousin Sean's crack pipe, and he threw her on the bed, in anger?

Remember Easter of '93 when Sean went CRAZY and dad and Uncle Nick threw him in to the glass shower? Uncle Dave kept singing Christmas carols to us, to calm us down. Brandy ran out of the house and broke her necklace, and you were running about, yelling.

Don't forget...Aunt Anita is psychic.she talks to the lady in the green dress, and she can "feel things". Pftt.

How about the time cousin Jimmy told very young cousin Nick that he has his err..man part pierced?

OH! the time Brandy had to kick a very drunk Aunt Cindy out of her house?

And finally....


To sum it up...


The mother of all "Aunt Cindy pick-up lines"


Aunt Cindy to Brandy's friend: *sniffs him* "You smell good....what do you have on?.....*lowers voice to what she thought was a "sexy" voice...but it actually sounded like a drunk cab driver named Pete* ....Other than a HARD ON, that is....



;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

You know? I love to just sit back and watch them, come the holidays.



~Beth

That was just a scratch at the surface of dysfunction.


..I didn't even touch on the other side of the family....


We'll save that for a rainy day....


~Beth

Wait! Just thought of one.



Remember when we thought Aunt Cindy KILLED uncle Keith?!?!?!? (Which we STILL don't know the truth)


ALSO, if he would have hit her in the nose ONE more time...she would have died......




~Beth

*clears throat*


Well....


Erin, remember the time grandma found cousin Sean's crack pipe, and he threw her on the bed, in anger?

Remember Easter of '93 when Sean went CRAZY and dad and Uncle Nick threw him in to the glass shower? Uncle Dave kept singing Christmas carols to us, to calm us down. Brandy ran out of the house and broke her necklace, and you were running about, yelling.

Don't forget...Aunt Anita is psychic.she talks to the lady in the green dress, and she can "feel things". Pftt.

How about the time cousin Jimmy told very young cousin Nick that he has his err..man part pierced?

OH! the time Brandy had to kick a very drunk Aunt Cindy out of her house?

And finally....


To sum it up...


The mother of all "Aunt Cindy pick-up lines"


Aunt Cindy to Brandy's friend: *sniffs him* "You smell good....what do you have on?.....*lowers voice to what she thought was a "sexy" voice...but it actually sounded like a drunk cab driver named Pete* ....Other than a HARD ON, that is....



;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

You know? I love to just sit back and watch them, come the holidays.



~Beth


LMAO!! And here I thought I was the only one!  ;D

They're all reasonably normal.  :-\\ Talk about a boring family.

We don't have family functions, I'm glad too. I've heard that my grandmother's family is REALLY racist, my brother says they made fun of him when he was a little kid because he's mixed.  >:(

I would say that would be my mother. She has to make everything about her. At functions, she will sit there and expect someone-most likely one of her children or grandchildren (usually me) to cater to her every need and whim. I don't know if she did that at our wedding or not. I guess she realized that I was very busy and besides, she had a few other children there to do her catering for her. Then there is my oldest sister who is basically a chip off the old block. If you look in the dictionary under "self-centered" it would say to see my sister. I'm not too sure which one of those two are the worst. She didn't come to wedding because she wasn't going to be the center of attention.





Cat

hahaaha...adding onto our family dysfunction....remember the infamous "aunt cindy" that I spoke of? Well....get this....


she works as a nurse's aid in a retirement home....one of the residents hit her in her nose (least we remind you that due to her late ex-husband repeatedly beating her in the nose, the doctor told her that if she gets hit there once more, she could die)...so she had to go in for surgery.  Well, the doctor who operated on her nose (without asking her) decided to do cosmetic surgery.....when she awoke from surgery, he said to her, "wait till you see what I did for you".  Well here, the guy totally effed up her nose, causing so much wrong with it, that it is ruined. She has been getting these horrible migraines, etc.  Well, she consulted a lawyer and they said that she has a MAJOR case against this doctor...and that she could WIN a HUGE amount of cash as a settlement.  Now, I don't wish bad stuff on her, nor am I envious of her pain....HOWEVER, why does it always figure that the troublemaker of the family, the one who has mooched off of everyone, and made a mockery of our family......ends up getting something HUGE dealt to them.  We were joking with my mom (my aunt is her sister) and saying..."you watch, aunt cindy is going to be rolling in the dough"...and you know what?? She seriously could too! GRRRR!



Erin :)

hahaaha...adding onto our family dysfunction....remember the infamous "aunt cindy" that I spoke of? Well....get this....


she works as a nurse's aid in a retirement home....one of the residents hit her in her nose (least we remind you that due to her late ex-husband repeatedly beating her in the nose, the doctor told her that if she gets hit there once more, she could die)...so she had to go in for surgery.  Well, the doctor who operated on her nose (without asking her) decided to do cosmetic surgery.....when she awoke from surgery, he said to her, "wait till you see what I did for you".  Well here, the guy totally effed up her nose, causing so much wrong with it, that it is ruined. She has been getting these horrible migraines, etc.  Well, she consulted a lawyer and they said that she has a MAJOR case against this doctor...and that she could WIN a HUGE amount of cash as a settlement.  Now, I don't wish bad stuff on her, nor am I envious of her pain....HOWEVER, why does it always figure that the troublemaker of the family, the one who has mooched off of everyone, and made a mockery of our family......ends up getting something HUGE dealt to them.  We were joking with my mom (my aunt is her sister) and saying..."you watch, aunt cindy is going to be rolling in the dough"...and you know what?? She seriously could too! GRRRR!



Erin :)



I think we should make nice with Aunt Cindy, once she receives her untold riches...


Beth