Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you!  Knowing there is only one of
    you, he can only settle for the next best thing-your best friend.  Far from being
    an issue, this can only bring you closer together.  Why not get some of your
    old college roommates involved, too?  If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should
    let him be with your friends without you.  If you are still not sure then just perform
    oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think it over.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it.  Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin.
    Interestingly, men know this.  His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on
    him is totally selfless.  This shows he loves you.  The best thing to do is to
    thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many night out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged.  The man is
    a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men.  A night out
    chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more
    peaceful and relaxing home.  Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship
    better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean
    the house, too)!  Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns
    to his stable home.  The best thing to do when he returns home is for
    you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him.  Then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband.  If you must mess with it,
    do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help.  You may wish to
    videotape yourself while doing this, and present the tape to your husband
    as a birthday gift.  To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him
    and cook him a delicious meal.
   
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up, and should seek sensitivity training.
    Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time-consuming.  Sex should be
    available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay.
    What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should;
    he should NEVER have to work to get you in the mood.  Stop being
    so selfish!  Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him
    and cooking him a nice meal.   

Q: My husband always has an orgasm, then rolls over and goes to sleep 
    without giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem.  Perhaps you've forgotten to cook
    him a nice meal.

     

That's some pretty funny stuff, and may I say as a man, not all of us are like that. I'm one of them that isn't.

Anway a little known fact I learned my freshman year in high school is that Semen, WILL NOT help you lose weight, it's very high in fat and protein.  Sounds digusting I know, but them damn science books tell you everything now a days!

Is this a "family friendly" thread? :-
. . .Semen, WILL NOT help you lose weight, it's very high in fat and protein. 

It will however, aide in inducing a pregnant woman into labor.  ???

and right now Im fowarding this to my gf lol  ::)

There's nothing wrong with that, lol. In fact, I think this is encouraging me to believe that men can be ideal agony uncles.  ;D

I don't get what's funny.. It's true isn't it?

I don't get what's funny.. It's true isn't it?


I thought it was all a given fact . . .  ;D

Depends on whether you've had a nice meal or not...!!

Hey if i was getting a bit of the old BJ.. hell i'd be happy to go clothes shopping

Hey if i was getting a bit of the old BJ.. hell i'd be happy to go clothes shopping


Heh heh.  ;D

Hey if i was getting a bit of the old BJ.. hell i'd be happy to go clothes shopping


Well, at least she had a nice mea...er, that's quite enough of that...!

LOL>.. a nice Hot Pot

With special sauce...!! I can see this thread being deleted...!!

I didn't think you had it in you, Paul, lol. We are just making the most of this thread until it gets inevitably removed.  ;D

How the HELL is this not deleted yet?  :D

And for the man who has had a bit too much Oral Sex... Rose Marie Sauce  ;D

And for the man who has had a bit too much Oral Sex... Rose Marie Sauce  ;D


Sorry, Alchoholica, I have no idea what you are going on about here.  ???

I could see some I.P blocking takin' place if i explained

This man's (^) a bad influence, I tell you...!!


I didn't think you had it in you, Paul, lol.


Funny - that's what my last girlfriend said to me...!!

Freaking amazing... 1 "f-bomb" dropped and it's gone, but this is still here.  ;D

In which case, us four must be the only ones reading it...!

In which case, us four must be the only ones reading it...!
Hey, I read it...it's just hard to type while I'm laughing so hard ;D

This man's (^) a bad influence, I tell you...!!


I regret nothing...


Funny - that's what my last girlfriend said to me...!!


'Last' indicates that 'it' soon departed... ohhhh sorry that was a bit below the belt..  ;)

ummmm...

...check my age...

...ummmm....

....enough said....

...lol

This is all very funny, but, speaking as a man, an older man, you young bucks need to learn the art of patience.  Foreplay is wonderful, especially if you control the situation, if you get my drift.  Think on it.  Oh, and if you giver her enough, she gets all the proitien she needs in her diet.

And where is hairspray through all this?

This is all very funny, but, speaking as a man, an older man, you young bucks need to learn the art of patience.  Foreplay is wonderful, especially if you control the situation, if you get my drift.  Think on it.  Oh, and if you giver her enough, she gets all the proitien she needs in her diet.

And where is hairspray through all this?
I love to please my lady with foreplay....I find it very satisfying as well :)

Funny - that's what my last girlfriend said to me...!!


Lol.  ;D

This is all very funny, but, speaking as a man, an older man, you young bucks need to learn the art of patience.  Foreplay is wonderful, especially if you control the situation, if you get my drift.  Think on it.  Oh, and if you giver her enough, she gets all the proitien she needs in her diet.

And where is hairspray through all this?


Ah no, lol! That's it. Lock the thread! LMAO!!!  ;D

I could see some I.P blocking takin' place if i explained


Ah, I see . . .

And for the man who has had a bit too much Oral Sex... Rose Marie Sauce  ;D


That's almost the grossest thing ever.

Shouldn't it have been in her ??? ;D ;D ;D ahhh, a man who understands the "give and ye shall receive" ideology  ;)


So that's where I was going wrong...!!

No wonder I was having trouble sitting down...

That's almost the grossest thing ever.


LOL>.. I'm glad my talents have been recognised

Perhaps an "Adults Only" section needs to be added to these boards. :-[ ;D

ahhh, a man who understands the "give and ye shall receive" ideology  ;)


Do Unto others and they shalt do unto you  ;)

I love to please my lady with foreplay....I find it very satisfying as well :)



Could you give a 30 year old like me some pointers? ;D ;)



Howard

Talented Beyond my years.. errrmm.. sense?

Perhaps an "Adults Only" section needs to be added to these boards. :-[ ;D



That would be great.You would need to be 18 or older to enter. ;D



Howard

I love to please my lady with foreplay....I find it very satisfying as well :)



I have yet to please Robin right now. ;)



Howard