I actually pulled this topic from The Senseless Topic.

As I have stated in other topics, I was married for 21 years and then got a divorce.  I got married again about a year and a half ago after living together for 3 years.  He thinks we should have a joint account, but I don't want to.  I lived way too many years defending every penny I spent (you know on frivolous things like groceries and car insurance).  I don't want to do that again.  Plus, I have three children from the first marriage.  Two of whom are grown, but if they are having money troubles and I want to send them some money I don't want to feel like my new hubby is helping to support them.  Also, if he spends money on things I feel are frivolous, I don't want to resent him.  For the most part, he pays the house payments (we own two houses, one is in the process of being remodeled) and I pay the utilities and buy groceries.
Anyhow, what are your thoughts?

I actually pulled this topic from The Senseless Topic.

As I have stated in other topics, I was married for 21 years and then got a divorce.  I got married again about a year and a half ago after living together for 3 years.  He thinks we should have a joint account, but I don't want to.  I lived way too many years defending every penny I spent (you know on frivolous things like groceries and car insurance).  I don't want to do that again.  Plus, I have three children from the first marriage.  Two of whom are grown, but if they are having money troubles and I want to send them some money I don't want to feel like my new hubby is helping to support them.  Also, if he spends money on things I feel are frivolous, I don't want to resent him.  For the most part, he pays the house payments (we own two houses, one is in the process of being remodeled) and I pay the utilities and buy groceries.
Anyhow, what are your thoughts?


Here's my opinion:

Each of you keep your own checking account.  But then, have a JOINT checking account from which you only pay JOINT bills like mortgage, groceries, electric, and so on.

Both of you each agree to contribute a certain amount to the JOINT account.  That way both of you will be financially pulling your weight towards the marriage and household expenses, and perhaps a bit more that goes into a joint savings account for your old age.

Whatever money you have left (after your contribution to the joint account) goes to your own INDIVIDUAL account.  Spend as you see fit...

Joint accounts are not a great idea IMO. Once that starts, you wonder what the other half has spent the money on, paranoia sets in and arguments start. My girlfriend's parents have a joint account and they are usually arguing about where the money is going.

People like to start joint accounts in relationships because it is a gesture of trust in each other. Money is a freedom I like to keep for myself (considering I am an impulsive (not compulsive  ;D) shopper).

I always thought that this is the best.  All the money comes onto the table, that includes everyone who is working including the kids. Everyone gets their "allowance" that is theirs to do whatever they want(including their own accounts for whatever, paying off their own credit cards, etc.)  the rest is the house money-money used for bills, food, family auto(s), vacations, all that stuff that is family oriented.  The money on the table is counted as a whole, not "well I make more than you so I should have a bigger allowance".  Husband and wife(partner &partner)(whatever) get equal personal shares. It is different with the kids, of course, but if any are living at the house they should be required to contribute, you do not do them a service by giving a free ride.  Everyone deserves to have the Independence that comes with there own personal account, after all this is the 21st century. ;)

Here's my opinion:

Each of you keep your own checking account. But then, have a JOINT checking account from which you only pay JOINT bills like mortgage, groceries, electric, and so on.

Both of you each agree to contribute a certain amount to the JOINT account. That way both of you will be financially pulling your weight towards the marriage and household expenses, and perhaps a bit more that goes into a joint savings account for your old age.

Whatever money you have left (after your contribution to the joint account) goes to your own INDIVIDUAL account. Spend as you see fit...


Good idea, Lyricboy.

Although, being single makes this a moot point for me.

I have my own bank account so I can put my own money in and take some out.
My parents pay the bills around here.




Howard

We have separate accounts but split the bills.  My husband pays most of the household stuff (mortgage, gas, electric, phones, water, car HP) I pay the council tax and for the nursey/after school care.  We split the grocery stuff between us.  I put aside a sum each month into a savings account which pays for larger items such as car deposits, new washing machine etc.  We did discuss joint accounts when we first got married but decided we preferred this system.

My parents put all thier money together, paid the bills and then split the rest....they had separate accounts though :)

I've been sharing a bank account with my husband for almost 15 years now and have never had any problems.  :)

I share a bank acoount with the Cube, and we haven't had any problems. Of course, we have hardly any money in said bank account, so it doesn't leave much room for argument. :D

I don't share a bank account.I have my own but now I will keep it close to $1500 dollars for the Social Security rules.




Howard

I have my own bank account so I can put my own money in and take some out.
My parents pay the bills around here.




Howard

I also have my own accounts for putting in/taking out money. I was paying my own cell phone bills for a while until my balance ran low, then my mom began paying them.

I actually pulled this topic from The Senseless Topic.

As I have stated in other topics, I was married for 21 years and then got a divorce.  I got married again about a year and a half ago after living together for 3 years.  He thinks we should have a joint account, but I don't want to.  I lived way too many years defending every penny I spent (you know on frivolous things like groceries and car insurance).  I don't want to do that again.  Plus, I have three children from the first marriage.  Two of whom are grown, but if they are having money troubles and I want to send them some money I don't want to feel like my new hubby is helping to support them.  Also, if he spends money on things I feel are frivolous, I don't want to resent him.  For the most part, he pays the house payments (we own two houses, one is in the process of being remodeled) and I pay the utilities and buy groceries.
Anyhow, what are your thoughts?



Your situation sounds very much like mine. When I was married the first time, we had a joint account. I was making the same amount as he was. But, if I wanted spending $$, I would have to ask. Many times I would get the answer, "What did you do with the $20 I gave you two weeks ago?"  ::) I kept begging him to get my own account and just put a little in there for spending $$ (something like what LyricBoy suggested). After one of our infamous blowouts, I went to the bank, opened my own account and put my ENTIRE paycheck in there and never looked back again. (My marriage ended within a few months of me doing that-not because of that but because of the reasons why my first marriage was totally WRONG-but that is another story).

I had lived alone and maintained my own account, paying my own bills, etc. for many, many years until I moved in with Carlos back in 1998. At that point, I still maintained my own account, giving him a certain amount every month for my share of expenses. Now, we are married and actually the subject of joint accounts never has come up. I still give him $$ every month for my share of the expenses. As much as I love him and trust him, I don't think I would want a joint account. We even have seperate credit card accounts-that were started long before we even started dating. We do have a joint investment account but that is it. On our recent trip, each stop we traded off paying for gas/food, etc.

As for you, I think you should stand your ground and keep your own accounts-or do what LyricBoy suggested, both keeping your own but having one account for household expenses.



Cat

Thanks for the advice.  Like you, I love and trust my husband completely but I was in a bad situation for way too long and never want to put myself in the position again of having to explain why I bought groceries, gas, etc.

It was funny, after I posted, last night, Carlos and I did discuss it-but it wasn't a long discussion. He said that he likes the fact that I have my own accounts.  ;D What a guy. I think I will keep him.  ;)




Cat

I also have my own accounts for putting in/taking out money. I was paying my own cell phone bills for a while until my balance ran low, then my mom began paying them.



My parents pay MY cell phone bill actually we have 1 bill with 3 of our accounts cause we all have 800 minutes a month.


Howard

My parents pay MY cell phone bill actually we have 1 bill with 3 of our accounts cause we all have 800 minutes a month.


Howard


Well, my mom's name is on the accounts for all three of us; the bills are separate. She was the first in our family to get a cell phone.