1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says "Dam!".

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other
says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about
an hour,the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't
stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain, they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up
a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers
from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was
unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He
went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival
florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to
"persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their
store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they
did so, thereby proving that: only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little,which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath. This made him ...(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his
friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
laugh. No pun in ten did

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D Oh my God, those were soooo funny!!!! :) ROFL!!!!! I loved 'em!!!!

Absolutely Vile

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D Oh my God, those were soooo funny!!!! :) ROFL!!!!! I loved 'em!!!!

Absolutely Vile


They are good aren't they!

Groan.

Back to the usual Gabble nonsense I see.

Actually somewhere there's a Joke thread which perhaps you could revive.

karen

They are good aren't they!


I certainly thought so! What a good way to start the day... Thanks! ;D

Absolutely Vile

Groan.

Back to the usual Gabble nonsense I see.

Actually somewhere there's a Joke thread which perhaps you could revive.

karen




Sorry you didn't lke them Karen

I certainly thought so! What a good way to start the day... Thanks! ;D

Absolutely Vile


A pleasure!

Sorry you didn't lke them Karen


No, no you mis-understand me.  I didn't mean it as a criticism, just a comment on your soh

No, no you mis-understand me.  I didn't mean it as a criticism, just a comment on your soh


I'll let you off then!

Thanks Gabble  ;D  ;)

. . . Or the dyslexic that walked into a bra.  :D

Very funny Gabble!

. . . Or the dyslexic that walked into a bra.  :D

Very funny Gabble!


Ive never heard that one....I like it lol

I quite like the old one about the agnostic dyslexic, who spent all his life wondering if there really was a Dog. But that just elicits more groans all round.

*groans all round*

I quite like the old one about the agnostic dyslexic, who spent all his life wondering if there really was a Dog. But that just elicits more groans all round.

*groans all round*


wait, who told me that one..I know Ive told it before

I just told you it right now..

wait, who told me that one..I know Ive told it before

wait, who told me that one..I know Ive told it before


I told it in the jokes thread a while back. To recap . . .

Did you hear about the agnostic, insomniac dyslexic?

He lay awake at night wondering whether there really is a dog.