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These are the messages that have been posted on inthe00s over the past few years.
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Subject: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: Ripp on 05/29/04 at 10:32 am
Mine would have tons of pages and very tiny writing.
lol
what's yours?
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: Billy Florio on 05/29/04 at 12:24 pm
1010101010000101111001
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 05/29/04 at 6:26 pm
Handle with EXTREME care
Needs lots of upkeep
Lubricate joints with Coca-Cola
"Service regularly" :P ;)
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: AL-B on 05/29/04 at 6:40 pm
Shake excess water from hands
Push button
Rub hands gently under warm air until dry
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: Bobby on 05/30/04 at 11:59 am
1010101010000101111001
Heh heh. Nice one, Billy.
Er . . . Keep away from water. Does not contain nuts. Made in the Midlands.
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: zac on 05/30/04 at 12:36 pm
....um i'm not really sure it's in a different language. ???
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: AssKicker on 05/31/04 at 12:12 pm
"Congratulations on your purchase of the MLE model teenage geek robot!
Instructions are as follows:
Insert curry, stir-fry and/or most forms of organic foodstuffs (except spaghetti, which is rejected by this particular model) in the slot provided.
To improve performance, use the MLE in conjunction with your television set in this manner: Place the MLE on the sofa with a packet of tortilla chips or popcorn in its front appendage and insert a Star Trek video in your VCR in the way you are instructed to by your VCR's manufacturer.Voting Conservative also vastly increases the likelihood of the MLE performing diligently for you.
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: Ripp on 05/31/04 at 12:46 pm
Thank you for buying the Child Girl Model 5.8!
Use the instructions provided:
Fuel with Pizza and Coke. Once done, insert sleep-chip through slot provided and press start button.When happy, leave be. When unhappy, give attention and allow your computer to be free so it can recharge with "Happy". See disc labelled "Happy 3.5" provided.Wash hands before holding Child Girl Model 5.8! To clean: Cover in warm water and dry with towel. Allow outside to wash if raining on cleaning night. (once a week)
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: Hairspray on 06/01/04 at 2:42 pm
Lubricate joints with Coca-Cola
"Service regularly" :P ;)
LOL! ;D
Mine would say exactly this, except I'd eliminate the "Handle with care" line. I would be made to be handled quite a bit more.... ah..... roughly, if needed. I'd be strong and everlasting with a lifetime guarantee! :o :D ;) :)
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: MooRocca on 06/01/04 at 8:33 pm
Thank you for purchasing Binary Intelligence Technology's Cybernetic Human -- Ultra series.
The Ultra B.I.T.C.H. utilizes an intricate series of complex algorythms to interpret environmental triggers that automatically switch on and off a wide array of operational modes designed to mirror the many functions, emotions and reactions of a biological human. These modes will often seem to initialize or shut down at random and even we at Binary Intelligence Technology cannot predict what will turn the B.I.T.C.H. on or set the B.I.T.C.H. off.
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: MasterSplinter on 06/10/04 at 5:41 pm
I would be like "Data" on Star Trek:TNG
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: LyricBoy on 06/10/04 at 7:06 pm
"Use of refreshment other than Coca-Cola shall void the manufacturer's warranty and will lead to unpredictable, system-wide malfunctions."
;D
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: mrgazpacho on 06/10/04 at 10:14 pm
This Page Intentionally Left Blank
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: Powerslave on 06/11/04 at 3:48 am
Switch on at the "ON" switch.
Run
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: Ripp on 02/25/05 at 12:05 pm
switch on at on switch, run. hmmm.
do you mean run the robot's installations (?) or just run away.
*presses on switch*
oh
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
*runs*
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: Mona on 02/25/05 at 12:20 pm
Thank you for purchasing Binary Intelligence Technology's Cybernetic Human -- Ultra series.
The Ultra B.I.T.C.H. utilizes an intricate series of complex algorythms to interpret environmental triggers that automatically switch on and off a wide array of operational modes designed to mirror the many functions, emotions and reactions of a biological human. These modes will often seem to initialize or shut down at random and even we at Binary Intelligence Technology cannot predict what will turn the B.I.T.C.H. on or set the B.I.T.C.H. off. ÂÂ
;D ;D
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: jiminy on 02/25/05 at 4:25 pm
pull lever and then repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, faster, oh faster, faster, faster....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! thank you ::)
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: Mona on 02/25/05 at 6:02 pm
LOL that reminds me of a joke, but I guess I'll post it in the JOKES topic.
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: Bobby on 02/25/05 at 6:05 pm
pull lever and then repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, faster, oh faster, faster, faster....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! thank you ::)
Lol. ;D
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: Alchoholica on 02/25/05 at 6:51 pm
Bravo. What a choice.
Upon unwrapping your Alcho-Bot insert beer.
Wait... Wait... Wait.. Nap... Wait.
Insert More.. NO MORE THAN THAT!
Wait..Wait.. Continue to wait you impatient git.
Switch on (ha, that was a test)
Your basic Alcho-Bot will perform most functions in exchange for Alcyhol.
Please don't allow the Alcho-Bot's Oil - Alcohol ratio fall below 1:20
Thank you come again.
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: NullandVoid on 02/26/05 at 12:56 am
Thank you for buying "The Invisible Robot MODEL#NVSB13"
*Although the NVSB13 comes with many other wonderful features(thoughtful conversation, lively sense of humor, genuine friendship etc.),The only time you should use this model is if you need something such as:
  ÂÂ
     - a quick answer to your question(s)
     - an ear to burn off with your problems
     - IT to pull money out of its' @$$
This robot doesn't need any TLC, whenever you're finished using and abusing it just toss it in a dry closet with a bottle of Pepsi and it'll last forever.
*NOTE:This Robot may or may not have issues.
    ÂÂ
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 03/04/05 at 1:23 am
adjust headlights to turn on power!!! ;D
Erin :)
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: ElDuderino on 03/04/05 at 1:24 am
"Oil gums regularly" ;D
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: Ripp on 03/05/05 at 2:45 pm
Thank you for buying "The Invisible Robot MODEL#NVSB13"
*Although the NVSB13 comes with many other wonderful features(thoughtful conversation, lively sense of humor, genuine friendship etc.),The only time you should use this model is if you need something such as:
  ÂÂ
     - a quick answer to your question(s)
     - an ear to burn off with your problems
     - IT to pull money out of its' @$$
This robot doesn't need any TLC, whenever you're finished using and abusing it just toss it in a dry closet with a bottle of Pepsi and it'll last forever.
*NOTE:This Robot may or may not have issues.
I guess you're depressed?
You're not invisible to me and i wouldn't burn your ear off with my problems.
But here's a big bottle of pepsi! :)
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: JamieMcBain on 03/05/05 at 6:45 pm
- Feed Pizza regularlly
- Allow regular TV Watching
- Allow sleeping between 1:00 am - 7:OO am
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: kmkush on 03/05/05 at 7:01 pm
Thank you for purchasing Binary Intelligence Technology's Cybernetic Human -- Ultra series.
The Ultra B.I.T.C.H. utilizes an intricate series of complex algorythms to interpret environmental triggers that automatically switch on and off a wide array of operational modes designed to mirror the many functions, emotions and reactions of a biological human. These modes will often seem to initialize or shut down at random and even we at Binary Intelligence Technology cannot predict what will turn the B.I.T.C.H. on or set the B.I.T.C.H. off. ÂÂ
My God! You are sooo right! Mine would just state: Flip switch and look out! (same difference, eh?) ha ha
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: MooRocca on 03/05/05 at 9:39 pm
My God! You are sooo right! Mine would just state: Flip switch and look out! (same difference, eh?) ha ha
;D
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: Apricot on 03/05/05 at 9:57 pm
Mine would say:
Alright, it's finished? Turn to page 2:
Page 2:
OH CRAP! YOU'VE BROUGHT FORTH A MONSTER!!!! RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: jiminy on 04/05/05 at 11:25 am
adjust headlights to turn on power!!! ;D
Erin :)
nice headlights, sorry I took so long to notice, dam... I must be slipping ;D
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: AngeliK on 04/05/05 at 12:34 pm
shut in dark room, when not in use, leave alone, fuel with pasta, and tea on an hourly basis, if in a good mood will clean house thouroughly whenever it needs doing, if in a bad mood, best stay away and allow to cool down.
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: robocop.. on 04/06/05 at 8:04 am
my instruction leaflet says
do not let robot access the net. :P
do not feed food to the unit.
do not put in microwave.
do not use ass a pc upgrade. :\'(
keep battery fully charge and insert correctle in battery tray under bottom :-[
Subject: Re: If you were a robot, what would your instruction leaflet say?
Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 04/06/05 at 10:29 am
nice headlights, sorry I took so long to notice, dam... I must be slipping ;D
LOL! ;D