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Subject: Pick up lines
alright guys, you want to help out with a gag for Nonsense? We're doing a page that will have some really bad pick-up lines on it (in a certain context which Im not giving away)...anyway, we cant think of any really bad ones...anyone got some? They can be incredably dirty, in fact thats better (but you might want to PM them to me instead of putting them here)...two exxamples of ones were using (so far): "Was your dad a terrorist?....cause youre the bomb!"...........and "Nice Belly button ring, Ill store my gum there on the way down".....
any help would be appriciative..thanks
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
I can think of a couple of awful ones Billy:
If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together.
Are you an astronaut because I can see stars in your eyes.
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
The one promo for HBO years ago had the typical country hick tipping his hat and saying: "Honey, you look finer than a new set of snow tires"
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Quoting:
The one promo for HBO years ago had the typical country hick tipping his hat and saying: "Honey, you look finer than a new set of snow tires"
End Quote
I remember that.
My favorite pick-up line and trust me guys, this one really works ;) "Hi, I'm filthy rich."
Cat
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
"Did you hurt yourself when you fell from Heaven?"
"Hi, my name is Ripper. Wanna beer?"
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
I have some dirty ones, that I probably can't post here. :-/
So I'll think of others...
"Hey wanna go swimming in my pool? By pool I mean bathtub, and by swimming I mean SEX!"
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
"Someone call the cops because this girl just stole my heart!"
"Is it hot in here or is it just you?"
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Listen to "Wanna B Ur Lovr" by Weird Al. The entire song is made of pick-up lines. Here are the lyrics:
I don't have a library card
But do you mind if I check you out?
I like your skeletal structure, baby
You're an ectomorph, no doubt
Your face is real symmetrical
And your nostils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl
So I could see you twice
Girl, you smell like Fritos
That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt
The elastic in my underwear
I'll bet you're magically delicious
Like a bowl of Lucky Charms
You'd look like Venus de Milo
If I just cut off your arms
What I'm tryin' to say is ...
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Do you believe in love at first sight
Or should I walk by again?
My love for you'd like diarrhea
I just can't hold it in
Stop, drop and roll now
'Cause baby, you're on fire
I'll bet your outfit
Makes a lot of noise in the drier
You're absolutely perfect
Don't speak now, you might spoil it
Your eyes are even bluer
Than the water in my toilet
Say, has anyone ever told you
You've got Yugoslavian hands?
No, of course not, that would be stupid
Just forget I ever brought it up
The point I'm trying to make is ...
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
I wanna be your Krakatoa
Let my lava flow all over you
I wanna be your anaconda
And your heat-seeking missile too
I wanna be your beef burrito
Am I making this perfectly clear?
I wanna be your love torpedo
Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?
Uh huh
I hope I'm not being forward
But do you mind if I chew on your butt?
You can tell me truthfully
Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what?
There just aren't enough o's in "smooth"
To desribe how smooth I am
Maybe you've seen my picture
It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!"
My lips are registered weapons
Can I invade your personal space?
You must have fallen from heaven
That would explain how you messed up your face
Well, how'd you get through security?
'Cause, baby, you're the bomb
I'd like to take you home right now
So you can meet my mom
Because I ...
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love
Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaican me crazy
Girl, you must be Jamaican (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Because Jamaican me crazy (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
Yeah, it can get pretty annoying.
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
I actually had a guy use this one on me...not gonna say if it worked or not ;) ;) ;)
(guy)"What *makes love* like a tiger and winks?"
(girl) "I don't know."
(guy) ;) ;)
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
One that was used on me - and has remained in my memory ever since I was 15 (and might I add that the line came from a corner paper boy no more than 12)
"Hey lady, ya wanna go halves in a baby"
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
You could always pick up some lines from Kevin Bloody Wilson:
"I've got a tongue that's ten inches long
And I've learned to breathe through me ears"
"So me face'll be leaving in quarter of an hour
I'd like you to be on it"
(from Kev's Courting Song, which also has the chorus:
"Do you f*** on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Could I feel your tits
Or would you show 'em to me?")
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Can I buy you a drink, or would you like me to just give you the cash?
The word of the day is "Legs". Now lets go back to my place and spread the word.
And the only one that i've actually used:
My friend wants to know if you think i'm cute.
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
one of funniest ones i've heard was: "i'm no fred flintstone, but i can make your bedrock." :D
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Told to me by a MTA token booth Clerk:
"Baby, you're like a 10 pack of tokens, hard to find!"
This fool told me this line around the same time that the MTA started phasing out tokens as a means of payment into the subway. Needless to say he didn't get a ride with that line.
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Quoting:
And the only one that i've actually used:
My friend wants to know if you think i'm cute.
End Quote
Your friend deserves a beer :)
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Three of the lamest I've ever heard:
"You must use windex on those pants, 'cause I can see myself in 'em".
"So, what are you going to want for breakfast".
...And this one from a very drunk chick at a bar...
"My left leg is Christmas and my right leg is New Years, why don't you come visit me between the holidays?
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Quoting:
Three of the lamest I've ever heard:
"So, what are you going to want for breakfast".
End Quote
A variant on that one is "Will you have breakfast with me? Shall I call round, or just roll over and give you a nudge?"
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
My favourite one is walking up to Goth girls and saying "My name is Lucifer, please take my hand."
And they do!
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Hi, my name is Paul. Remember that because you'll be screaming it all night!
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Quoting:
My favourite one is walking up to Goth girls and saying "My name is Lucifer, please take my hand."
And they do!
End Quote
Now I like this one!!! yeah!
but who wants a goth girl?
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Quoting:
I remember that.
My favorite pick-up line and trust me guys, this one really works ;) "Hi, I'm filthy rich."
Cat
End Quote
And here I thought I was the only one! Here are 2 from last nights "Family Guy" episode...Quagmyer walks up to a girl and says "You must be a parking ticket...'cause you've got Fine written all over you"
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Quoting:
Hi, my name is Paul. Remember that because you'll be screaming it all night!
End Quote
Does that work for you? ;)
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
"Hey wanna play Pearl Harbour? I'll lay down and you blow the hell out of me!" ;)
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
I don't know that many pick-up lines but I do know a lot of put-downs... Here's my favourite (one that I have actually done before.)
"Hey there, big boy.... I got somethin' for ya. It's hot and wet... and dare I say it... very, very tasty. I guarantee it'll keep you awake all night."
(I hand them a polystyrene cup of coffee)
"Drink up."
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Quoting:
And here I thought I was the only one! Here are 2 from last nights "Family Guy" episode...Quagmyer walks up to a girl and says "You must be a parking ticket...'cause you've got Fine written all over you"
End Quote
I think the best pick up line from Quagmyer is when he walks up to some ladies in a lesbian bar and says "So...You ladies ever been penetrated?"
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Hey,Would you like to come around my mountain when you come? ;D
Howard
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
LMAO, we're getting some good ones here.
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
You turned my floppy disk into a hard drive.
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Or you could use Prince William's pick-up line:
"Hi, I'm the future king. Wanna pull?"
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Quoting:
"Hey wanna play Pearl Harbour? I'll lay down and you blow the hell out of me!" ;)
End Quote
Good one. It reminds me of the put-down, "Hey, let's play house. You be the door and I'll slam you".
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
talk like Popeye! "Well,blow me down" :-X ;D
Howard
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Quoting:
Good one. It reminds me of the put-down, "Hey, let's play house. You be the door and I'll slam you".
End Quote
lol Thats a good one. :)
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
"Hey,Let's play doctor and I'll give you a check-up! :o :-X ;D
Howard
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
Here's a few:
Kiss me if I'm wrong but don'tI know you?
Have we never met before?
You Know, if you were a laser, you'd be set on stunning
If I follow you home, will you keep me?
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Is that a keg in your butt? Because I'd like to tap that!
Subject: Re: Pick up lines
I have had some pretty lame ones thrown at me, heres a few:
Excuse me, aren't you Valerie Bertinelli?? ::)
I saw you looking at me from across the room and thought I'd make your dream come true. :P
Do you fool around? Will you stand there while i do.
These are ones I've heard before:
That outfit your wearing would match perfect with my sheets.
Can I see your ID, you look to young to be in here.
LMAO, some people are so funny.