Sign seen outside many businesses:

No dog's allowed, except for seeing eye dogs.
Nice sign, it's informative and clear, but who is it for?

Drive in ATMs

Ever use a drive in ATM? Ever see the brail writing on the buttons?
It's great that they consider the seeing impaired, but who did they have in mind when they designed this?

Sign seen at the entrance to a militia survivalist encampment:

No Trespassing - Trespasser's will be shot - survivors prosecuted.

Message seen on tee shirt worn by bomb squad member:

I am a bomb defusion expert. If you see me running, try to keep up.

How about the signs you see in some businesses that say:

Thank you for not smoking.
How do they know that you are not smoking when you read the sign.

How about the plain No Smoking signs you see everywhere?

Some people who ignore these signs think that the signs are only for those people who set themselves on fire.

Signs approaching exits on interstate highways.

Some list gas phone food lodging next right. This type makes sense.
But what about the one's that list hospital parking next right?

Does this mean that if you are driving a hospital that you can park it off the next exit somewhere?

What about the one's that say Deer Crossing Area?

How do they train the deer to cross only in designated areas?
I think they lie. Ever see a deer in one of these areas when you are driving through?

Then there are all these signs that say Falling Rock.

I see them everywhere and that must be a really popular town - Have you ever been to Falling Rock?

How about the one's that say Scales Ahead - Trucks Over 6,000 Pounds Must Weigh.

I think they ran out of room on the sign. Trucks Over 6,000 Pounds Must Weigh what? Alot?

What about Low Water Crossing.

The water never crosses the road when it's low. Don't they mean High?

Or how about the ones on the delivery vehicles that say:

How's my driving? 1-800-555-1234
I called that once when a maniac pizza delivery guy made my life flash before my eyes. I reached Dial a Prayer. (comforting, yeah real comforting)

Then there are the ones on vehicles that say:

If you can read this thank your teacher. What do you do if you can't read it? Seems to me that this is who the sign is for. They might as well put a sign on their cars saying to kill all the illiterates.

Then I once saw a sign at a truck stop that said. Eat here Get gas. Don't these people proof read their signs before they put them up?

And what about the one on the right side mirror on your car that says:

Caution - Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Is this their way of telling us that they made a few million defective mirrors? If they think this will keep my lawyer from calling them, then they should rethink the fix to the problem. It must have been extremely comforting to those people in Jurasic park when they saw the T-Rex that was chasing them reflected in that mirror.

How about the warning signs they put on the charcoal filled packs that are put into some food products that say Do Not Eat for the purpose of keeping mositure to a minimum? I'm really sure these little signs have saved my life countless times.

So what's your sign?

I remember a post on this a while back...

hmm, I like the ones that say "Dont even think about parkign here," now seriously, I wonder how many times this law was violated, and no one knows about it...

I like that parking sign one.  WIsh I'd have thought of that one.  I actually thought of the sign when I wrote this but couldn't figure anything funny to put on it.  It was so obvious.

This is the third messageboard I have put this on.  You can find my original post at baghdadbob.com.  Like my parodies these columns are also original.  

We have this book at work that has all these sign parodies in it so you obviously have the same book we do STR810UP.Seeing eye dogs are specially trained and businesses let them in because the person they are assisting are paying customers.But businesses see them differently compared to a regular mutt.In a way its doggie discrimination.Braille on ATM is always on the right bottom corner so its easy to find.I have an "original" stupid sign idea instead of fixing a pothole just put up a pothole ahead sign LOL!

No Child, I do not have that book - no idea that it actually existed.  Most of this that I wrote are from my own observations.  What is the name of it?  I'd like to see that book.  

How about a sign that said "Baby On Board". ;D


Howard

I saw a sign this weekend at a farm-"Close til pumpkins" I didn't realize that "pumpkins" was a time.



Cat

I like the one on the Marylebone Road, by the Baker Street traffic lights: "No stopping at any time"


...like what happens when the lights are red?

I think I saw one saying -

'Graveyard Approching'

- and that was next to a local hospital.

Not really a sign per se, but I found a flyer for a nightclub that was advertising. At the end, it said, "No entry with this flyer." What?!! Does that mean that the flyers are actually lethal weapons and can't be brought in or does it mean that it can't be substituted as a ticket or pass? (P.S.: There was no phone number.) :-/

i have a national lampoon book back home with a lot of funny signs

I remember someone posting some airport signs, like these two:
A Danish airport: We take your bags and send them in all directions
A Russian airport: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it

And when I went to Kos, I visited the Asklepion- there's a small garden outside the site with lots of exotic plants in it. And there wasn't just one big sign, no... on EVERY SINGLE PLANT, INCLUDING LITTLE FLOWERS, there was a tag hanging off which read "Do Not Pick Up The Flowers" and/or "Do Not Eat The Poisonous Flowers".
How can you eat the flowers if you don't pick them up? And how do we know which are the poisonous ones?

I'm convinced I've seen this somewhere...

Not so much a sign, but one of those warning instructions on the back of food packets...this one's for the nut allergy sufferers...

On the back of a great big bag of salted peanuts...

..."may contain nut"...

Hm...

There's a parody song about 'stupid' out there today:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/samcooke10.shtml

After seeing the nut allergy warnings, that reminds me of another much like it.
Cadbury's make boxes of little chocolate biscuits shaped like various wild animals, including elephants and lions etc.
Printed on the front is: "Cadbury's Chocolate Animals".
Printed on the back below the nutritional information is: "Suitable for vegetarians".

My first reaction to your post was eeeeeewwwww
Why? Around my way "Nut" is another term for...um.. semen.
Salty nuts anyone?
(I hope this wasn't too profane for the board.) :-X

Quoting:
I'm convinced I've seen this somewhere...

Not so much a sign, but one of those warning instructions on the back of food packets...this one's for the nut allergy sufferers...

On the back of a great big bag of salted peanuts...

..."may contain nut"...

Hm...


End Quote

There's a web site about funny signs.
www.funnysign.com
It's really funny, one says "Please, No smoking, smoke harms chocolate." What the?!

"Blind People Crossing".

Thought I never seen that many blind people cross the street anyhow. ;D

Howard

In our city and surrounds we have signs that say "Koalas Cross Here". ;D

My old school had a sign on the road outside it with a picture of two children running and the words "Slow Children".
A little harsh... let's let the exam boards decide that one.

Can't think of any, but those are great! LMAO!  ;D

Stamped on my generic"Free with paid subscription"cofee mug:
Hot OR Cold Beverages only
What happens if I wanna drink lukewarm water?
Will the cup lose its molecular structure if I do so?

I know it's not a sign, I just had to share that with y'all.

What about this sign (where I live, this is common, but still funny) -

'Chicken crossing'

- Well, we know where to get dinner! Roast Run-over Chicken, anyone? I live in a farm, so, erm...it's obvious, innit?

"Blind people crossing". ;D


Howard

Close to my hometown there is a business that sells boats.  A few years ago they had a sign that said, "Bottoms painted here."  I laughed until I cried.  I could just see thousands of people lining up to get their bottoms (butt) painted.   ;D

I've seen lots, but the only ones that comes to mind (it's been a long day for me):

-those animal crossing signs----why at that spot? Does that mean animals have preferences to where they cross on the road?

-there are some places where they have those no-eating signs with a hamburger that's got a slash through it. I guess that means I can eat anything except burgers!

Deer Xing! ??? :D



Howard

How about a sign that says "Drawbridge Ahead". Why should I have to draw a bridge? Shouldn't there already be one? And what if i don't have a pen. Oh yeah, off topic, "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't your thing."