All of this is from "Quick Takes" from the Chicago Sun Times. They are bits of news which are followed by an quick editorial. I think they are funny, so I thought I would post a few.

Every little bit helps

News Item: House Republicans block amendment to add $1 billion for Homeland Security by reducing recent tax break, aimed at 200,000 millionaires, from $88,000 each to $83,000 each.

No millionaire left behind.

This guy knows how to pick your battles

President Bush on Iraqi terrorists attacking U.S. forces:

"My answer is bring them on."

Is our foreign policy starting to sound more and more like the guy at the end of the bar who has had one too many?

All talk

President Bush on education reform:

"You've also got to measure in order to begin to effect change that's just more--when there's more than talk, there's just actual--a paradigm shift."

Exactly.

That Jefferson guy had it all wrong

Rep. Dick Gephardt (D-Mo.) regarding the Supreme Court and affirmative action:

''When I'm president, we'll do executive orders to overcome any wrong thing the Supreme Court does tomorrow or any other day.''

Finally, a candidate with the courage to take on the system of checks and balances.

Lost at sea

Student Newspaper Correction of the Year:

"The Daily Evergreen would like to sincerely apologize for an injustice served to the Filipino-American, Spanish-speaking and Catholic communities on the front page of Thursday's Evergreen. The story 'Filipino-American history recognized' stated that the 'Nuestra Senora de Buena Esperanza,' the galleon on which the First Filipinos landed at Morro Bay, Calif., loosely translates to 'The Big Ass Spanish Boat.' It actually translates to 'Our Lady of Good Hope.' "

Shape of things to come

And You Should See What He Has in Store for His Doctoral Dissertation Award:

A federal appeals court held that a Brown University student did not have a First Amendment free speech right to write "F--- You" to university administrators in the acknowledgment section of his master's thesis, "The Morphology of Calcium Carbonate: Factors Approaching Crystal Shape."

City council repeals law of averages

Sacramento City Councilwoman Lauren Hammond on local results of student testing:

"Half the students are below the 50th percentile. That's a problem."

Is there another problem, as well, in Sacramento?

Hey, we got tax cuts

News Item (2002): President Bush pledges to increase funding for AmeriCorps tutoring and mentoring programs.

News Item (2003): President Bush and Congress slashing AmeriCorps by 80 percent.

No Upper-Bracket Child Left Behind.

THese are very funny.  Some sad, but funny.