1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk
ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me
either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan
belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to
steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you
can't be promoted. (This is absolute truth!)

5. No one is listening until you pass gas.

6. Always remember you're unique--just like everyone else.

7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

8. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a
couple of car payments

9. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in
his shoes. That way, when you criticize him
you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

10. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for
you.

11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him
how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all
day.

12. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
again, it was probably worth it.

13. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything.

14. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the
windshield.

15. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of
that comes from bad judgment.

16. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in
half and put it back in your pocket.

17. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

18. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a
dark side, and it holds the universe together.

19. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither
one works.

20. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your
lips are moving.

21. Experience is something you don't get until just after
you need it.

22. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

23. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on
the butt ... then things get worse.

24. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill
and a laxative on the same night.

25. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental
illness."

26. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to
take it too seriously.

27. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.

28. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

LMAO!! Thanks CS! ;D

LOL, that was great.

So you survived the sleepover cs?

Very funny  ;D  ;D thanks CS.  Glad the sleepover was "managable"  ;)

Those were good, CS...