100. Daddy Farted, And We Can't Get Out!
99. Watch Out For The Idiot Behind Me.
98. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
97. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
96. Horn Broken. Watch For Finger.
95. Who Are These Kids And Why Are They Calling Me Mom?
94. Save Trees! Eat More Beavers.
93. I Need Someone Really Bad. Are You Really Bad?
92. I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.
91. I Love My Country. It's The Government That Pisses Me Off.
90. Never Play Leap Frog With A Unicorn.
89. No One Is Listening Until You Make A Mistake.
88. No Radio. Already Stolen.
87. Of All The Things I've Lost, I Miss My Mind The Most!
86. Oh Sure. But What's The Speed Of Dark?
85. OK, Who Stopped The Payment On My Reality Check?
84. On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers.
83. Out Of My Mind. Back In Five Minutes.
82. Previous Owner Had An Honor Student!
81. You Are Depriving Some Poor Village Of Its Idiot.
80. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
79. You! Off My Planet!
78. Your Child May Be An Honor Student, But You're Still An Idiot.
77. Your So Boring, If You Threw A Boomerang, It Wouldn't Come Back To You!
76. When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be Just Like Barbie. That Bitch Has Everything!
75. Why Are Hemorrhoids Called "Hemorrhoids" Instead Of "Asteroids"?
74. Why Is It Called Tourist Season If We Can't Shoot At Them?
73. Why Is The Alphabet In That Order? Is It Because Of That Song?
72. Will Work For Food ..... Will Beg For Sex.
71. Woman Make Great Leaders, You're Following One!
70. Women Who Seek To Be Equal To Men Lack Ambition.
69. Work Is For People Who Don't Know How To Fish.
68. Sure You Can Trust The Government. Just Ask An Indian!
67. Ted Kennedy's Car Has Killed More People Than My Gun.
66. The Fact That No One Understands You Doesn't Mean You're An Artist.
65. The Road To Hell Is Pave d With Democrats.
64. The Road To Hell Is Paved With Republicans.
63. The Trouble With Political Jokes Is That They Get Elected.
62. They're Not Hot Flashes...They're POWER SURGES!
61. Red Meat Isn't Bad For You. Fuzzy Green Meat Is!
60. Rehab Is For Quitters.
59. Reincarnation Is Making A Comeback.
58. Romance Is Like Chess: One False Move And You're Mated.
57. Santa's Elves Are Just A Bunch Of Subordinate Clauses.
56. Should Crematoriums Give Discounts For Burn Victims?
55. Smoking - Think Of It As Evolution In Action.
54. So You're A Feminist. Isn't That Cute!
53. If God Intended Man To Smoke, He Would Have Set Him On Fire.
52. If I Throw A Stick, Will You Leave?
51. If I Want To Hear From An *******, I'll Fart!
50. If The #2 Pencil Is The Most Popular, Why Is It Still #2?
49. Keep Granny Off The Streets, Support Bingo.
48. Life Is A Sexually Transmitted Disease.
47. Love Is Blind. And When You Get Married You Get Your Eyesight Back.
46. Missing Dog And Wife. Reward For Dog.
45. "More Hay, Trigger?" "No Thanks, Roy, I'm Stuffed!"
44. My Karma Ran Over My Dogma.
43. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him.
42. If You're Rich, I'm Single!
41. I'm Not An Alcoholic. I'm A Drunk. Alcoholics Go To Meetings.
40. Isn't Having A Smoking Section In A Restaurant
Like Having A Peeing Section In A Swimming Pool?
39. I Remember When The Candle Shop Burned Down.
Everyone Stood Around Singing "Happy Birthday".
38. I Think That I Think, Therefore I Think That I Am.
37. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend On Me.
36. IRS: We've Got What It Takes To Take What You've Got.
35. If A Man Is Talking In The Woods, And There Is No Woman There To Hear Him,
Is He Still Wrong?
34. If A Woman Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.
33. Born Free. Taxed To Death.
32. CATS: The Other White Meat!
31. Crime Wouldn't Pay If The Government Ran It.
30. Unless You're A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
29. The Most Overrated Object in the Universe: a healthy Piece of Ass!
The Most Underrated Object in the Universe: a healthy Piece of Sh*t!
28. Welcome To Sh*t Creek - Sorry, We're Out Of Paddles.
27. And Your Crybaby Whiny Assed Opinion Would Be?
26. Whose Cruel Idea Was It For The Word "Lisp" To Have An "S" In It?
25. Assassins Do It From Behind!
24. Ass, Grass, Or Gas - Nobody Rides For Free!
23. Beautify Texas! Put A Yankee On A Bus.
22. Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beer Holder.
21. What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull!
20. Eat Right. Exercise. Die Anyway.
19. Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition.
18. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
17. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
16. Heart Attacks ..... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
15. 0 To Bitch In 3.6 Seconds.
14. 100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?
13. Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires.
12. "Criminal Lawyer" Is A Redundancy.
11. Consciousness: That Annoying Time Between Naps.
10. Friends Help You Move. Real Friends Help You Move Bodies.
9. Give Me Ambiguity Or Give Me Something Else.
8. I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute Of It!
7. Lottery: A Tax On People Who Are Bad At Math.
6. We Have Enough Youth, How About A Fountain Of Smart?
5. Will Work For Sex.
4. Visualize My Turn Signals Working.
3. Flies Spread Disease - Keep Yours Zipped.
2. Very Funny, Scotty. Now Beam Down My Clothes.
1. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".


#47 is definitely my favorite.  Must find that one somewhere...

LMAO!!!!!!! ;D


I definitely love #2 best on that list.

Couple of my all time favs:

"Save a cow. Eat a Vegetarian"
"Cleverly disguises as a responsible adult."
"Madness takes it's toll. Please have exact change." ;D

Those are funny!!!  I may just kidnap one of them for my sig line!


One I see a lot of around here is:

"God is coming....and boy is SHE P***ed!!!"

I have seen #32 before. There is another one that goes with that one.
"I like cats. They taste just like chicken."

One that goes with #97
"My kid beat up your honor student."
There is also:

"If I had a hammer, there would be no folk singers."
"Legalize bingo. Keep Grandma off the streets." (That one was in Texas many years ago)
"As a matter of fact, I DO own the road."
"My other car is a piece of sh*t, too." (or "My other car is a broom")



Cat

ERGH GAGH BUMPER STICKERS MUST ALL DIE DIE DIE

Dude, what the hell happened to "sh!t happens"?  or "No war with Iraq"?  :-P

I swear every time I see the latter sticker I want to take a red turtle shell to that car :P ::)

"To report wreckless driving, dial 1-800-KISS MY @SS"
"If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk."

One that I love that goes along with #22 is Beer: helping ugly people get laid since 1872!

Income tax, out go money

It's a little known fact that violence solves all problems

Just because my sons an honor student it doesnt mean I have to drive lawfully

and my all time favorite( not really):

My cars not multi-color, that is just the paint from all the cars Ive hit

DON'T YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND?  BUMPER STICKERS ARE THE SINGLE LOWEST POINT OF THE ENTIRETY OF HUMAN HISTORY!  THEY'RE NOT FUNNY AND EVEN IF THEY ARE A LITTLE FUNNY THEY'RE SURELY NOT BY THE TWENTIETH TIME YOU'VE READ IT AND ALL THEY DO IS DISFIGURE YOUR CAR AND YOU CAN'T EVER REALLY GET IT OFF WITHOUT SCRAPING THE CHROME OFF YOUR BUMPER AND THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT BECAUSE BUMPER STICKERS REPRESENT THE HISTORY OF ALL BAD COMEDY, YEARS OF BAD STAND-UP AND BAD MOVIES AND BAD SITCOMS ALL ROLLED UP INTO ONE UNFUNNY, UNCLEVER SENTENCE WRITTEN BY SOME HACK WHO THINKS HE'S BEING WITTY BUT HE'S NOT HE'S JUST A person SITTING AROUND COMING UP WITH THESE VAPID LITTLE SAYINGS THAT ANYone WITH THREE CENTS WORTH OF BRAIN CELLS COULD COME UP WITH STOP BUYING THEM GET RID OF THEM GET RID OF THEM ALL ERGGGHGHHGHGHHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!

(rant also applies to signs people hang around the office like "the floggings will continue until morale approves," and those little sign things you can hang from your backpack that say things like "i'm not weird I'M GIFTED")

I saw one yesterday that I thought was a good one, for any racing fans out there:

"I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying"

I didn't read them all but the ones i did were pretty funny! :D

I would usually agree somewhat with Kenny on this one if he DIDN'T USE ALL CAPS, which has destroyed any credibility on his part. I'll make you a deal, I won't put a bumper sticker on my car if you refrain from all caps. Otherwise, I'll let Hairspray deal with your posts.  (This is the only thing you need to denote your anger.>:()

P.S. to the rest: I do like the sticker "Friends don't let friends ride with Matthew Perry in his Porsche".)

Not a bumper sticker, but I love the t-shirts that bikers wear that say "If you can read this, the b|tch fell off"