Quoting: Ok, OK, I'll tell, but then I may have to kill you.

Some forget the penguin Plague of '84. Some call it a hoax. Some call it an epidemic. Some call it George. We all almost called it quits...

Back in the early eighties, an enterprising young fashion designer was searching for a mascot. He imported several possibilities to his SoHo loft, but was disappointed by all of them. The lions hated plucking. Giraffes ate the dishtowels. Koalas are notorious divas and impossible to work with. The youth nearly dispaired of ever finding an animal who fully expressed the natural formality of his designs when suddenly he thought: penguins!

Faster than Bob Mackey can string pearls, a dozen of the sweet little tuxedoes clowns were brought in and unleashed on an unsuspecting New York. How could we know that the "natural" state of your average penguin is a cross between a hairdresser, an advertising executive, and those guys from "Deliverance"? They quickly overran the town, forcibly redecorating, reappoltering and occassionally ravaging. They spread through the sewers, unleashing havoc wherever they went.  

Our collective unconscious is the only reason we don't remember neon, pumpkin pants and George O'Dowd for the penguin signs of tyrrany they truly were. It was a dark time.

A team of Navy SEALS and polar bears finally returned our country to normalcy.

An interesting side note: while searching for his penguins in the sewers, the designer ran across a crocodile. Things looked grim for a moment, but a deal was struck, an agent was called, and a logo was relaunched...  End Quote

But this was only 1 team, and one event!  The history goes much deeper than that.
It started in the last Ice Age.  Penguins had free reign over ALL of the planet, and we humans were struggling for our lives.  Concentration camps, mass executions, things looked very grim for us humans.  It wasn't until a group of brave humans escaped and hid in one of the few temperate regions of the earth that our future hope bloomed.  The Ice Age ended and the humans who had been in hiding attacked the penguins, using allies they had found and trained during their exile, dogs and cats.  Fierce battles raged across the landscape, as the penguins were slowly driven back, until we had forced them into Antarctica.  At that time, an armistice was signed, and we left humans on the outskirts, keeping the Penguins under a watchful eye.

Over time, we humans forgot all about this past.  Only those we had left behind to keep an eye on the evil penguins knew of the history, and how important their role was for the future of the human race.  But the Penguins never forgot.

As humans came back across the oceans to the "New World," we encountered these protectors, and conquered them.  We had forgotten their role, we had forgotten the Penguins.  Soon, the protectors were no more.  Cats ceased to assist us, preferring to use us for their own ends.  Only dogs remained true to us, but they lacked the ability to warn us of our foolishness.  Of the Penguin threat that now loomed over us with the removal of the protectors.

The Penguins knew they couldn't attack us in all-out war again, as our numbers had increased too dramatically.  We had seen rabbits, and learned from them.  So the Penguins took a more subtle route.  Finding turncoats in the human race, they began subverting human culture, causing turmoil and strife in all possible locations.  They gave rise to notorious historical figures, behind the scenes, and used these people to destabilize our world as much as possible.  Napoleon, Lenin, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Walt Disney, The Ayatollah, Bill Clinton, Saddam Hussein and the Pilsbury Doughboy.  With the use of these figures, the Penguins have managed to keep our world fractured and in constant upheaval.

All the while, behind the scenes the Penguins have managed to infiltrate areas of our society, controlling our governments and civil order.  They have spies in the military, stealing secrets and technology.  They have propagandists making us believe Penguins are cute and cuddly creatures.  No more is the success of this tactic evidenced than in our own Jonman.  They have death squads who cause random havok whereever possible, and ensure blame goes to innocent bystanders.  And they have hackers, great computer hackers who make Kevin Mitnick look like a script kiddie.

This board is a prime example of thier slow invasion.  We used to be based on a Calvin and Hobbes theme, until one day........ Penguins....

Oddly enough, one advertising agency was wise enough to discover the plot and try to warn us through a clients ads, Bud Dry.  It was a short-lived campaign, and the creators of the campaign disappeared not long after they debuted, nevee to be heard from again.

And a final note, one other hacker was fortunate enough to be able to crack into the Penguin's database, and before being caught was able to transmit an image that instilled terror into his heart, as it revealed how close the Penguins truly are to launching their final campaign against us.  I enclose them here.

http://www.downmainelimited.com/images/penguincommandos2.JPG


We need to warn EVERYONE!  It's not too late.

Organize resistance.

Beware the penguins.

Quoting:
Don't listen to them!

Penguins are NOT our friends!  They are truly evil creatures, out to destroy us all and take over the world!


We need to warn EVERYONE!  It's not too late.

Organize resistance.

Beware the penguins.
End Quote

And I thought you were one of the good people..........

penguinsaregoodpenguinsarenotevilpenguinsaregoodpenguinsarenotevilpenguinsare
goodpenguinsarenotevilpenguinsaregoodpenguinsarenotevilpenguinsaregoodpenguinsar
enotevilpenguinsaregoodpenguinsarenotevilpenguinsaregoodpenguinsarenotevil

Quoting:


And I thought you were one of the good people..........


End Quote

Don't blame me.....I only posted it for TV9!! ;D

Quoting:


Don't blame me.....I only posted it for TV9!! ;D
End Quote

Oh, nice way to shirk the responsibility, SS!  But the question to you now is, do you BELIEVE it, or are you brainwashed like Jonman and Bobo?  The clock is ticking and the penguins are coming.  Which side are you on?   ;)