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Subject: The 10 Commandments of Driving in Seattle
Our local paper did an article on 3 sites that are anti-Seattle. One is at http://www.seattlesucks.com/I looked them over and had some fun, I found this piece to be very true.
We do suck as a collective group of drivers.
1. The standard driving speed is 5 mph under the speed limit, except during periods of rain or snow, in which case the standard is 10 mph over the speed limit.
2. When merging on the freeway, drivers should activate their turn signal and frantically look over their shoulder while slowing. Under no circumstances should drivers speed up to match current traffic conditions. Bonus points for actually coming to a stop while on an onramp.
3. When approaching a green light, slow in case it turns yellow. Your best case scenario is to slowly continue through the light as it turns red with your brake lights on so traffic behind you is forced to stop.
4. Right of way at four way stops is determined by who makes eye contact first. Should the drivers make eye contact simultaneously, both should then creep forward while waving the other to go. If the right of way can still not be determined, both drivers should get out of their cars and ask the nearest pedestrian.
5. Use of the “horn” (a sound-making device activated by pressing a button on the steering wheel) is not allowed in the city of Seattle under any circumstances.
6. When confronted with the need to merge from a lane of fast moving traffic to a lane of traffic that has backed up, drivers should stay in their lane and drive to the very front of the backed-up lane (usually an exit), come to a complete stop, activate their signal, and wait for someone to let them in.
7. In the event a driver passes an accident or disabled vehicle, they should reduce their speed by 50% for the next 2 miles. In the event a driver encounters a police car, they should brake abruptly, reducing their speed from 5 mph under the speed limit to 15 mph under the limit.
8. Red lights are a great time to finish paperwork, make phone calls, drink coffee, etc. However, it is considered courteous to wrap things up when cars start pulling around you.
9. The preferred vehicle in Seattle is a Sports Utility Vehicle, ideally a BMW, Cadillac or Mercedes model. However, under no circumstances should these be used for anything other than hauling groceries home from the supermarket.
10. Avoid all public transportation, carpools and alternate ways of commuting. Elect public officials who study transportation options endlessly but build stadiums instantly. Gut transportation funding through initiatives and vote no on any tax increase or project. Complain endlessly.
Subject: Re: The 10 Commandments of Driving in Seattle
I dream of installing some kind of ticker sign on my back window so that I could preprogram responses to people using their high-beams on me or tailgating me or honking at me, like "F**K OFF!" or "Go around me, you idiot!" :P
It would also be fun to have a megaphone system so that I could tell the goofballs in front of me to go faster or something...would make driving more fun :)
Subject: Re: The 10 Commandments of Driving in Seattle
Quoting:
2. When merging on the freeway, drivers should activate their turn signal and frantically look over their shoulder while slowing. Under no circumstances should drivers speed up to match current traffic conditions. Bonus points for actually coming to a stop while on an onramp.
6. When confronted with the need to merge from a lane of fast moving traffic to a lane of traffic that has backed up, drivers should stay in their lane and drive to the very front of the backed-up lane (usually an exit), come to a complete stop, activate their signal, and wait for someone to let them in.
7. In the event a driver passes an accident or disabled vehicle, they should reduce their speed by 50% for the next 2 miles. In the event a driver encounters a police car, they should brake abruptly, reducing their speed from 5 mph under the speed limit to 15 mph under the limit.
8. Red lights are a great time to finish paperwork, make phone calls, drink coffee, etc. However, it is considered courteous to wrap things up when cars start pulling around you.
End Quote
I think these are pretty much universal. ;)
Subject: Re: The 10 Commandments of Driving in Seattle
Quoting:
I dream of installing some kind of ticker sign on my back window so that I could preprogram responses to people using their high-beams on me or tailgating me or honking at me, like "F**K OFF!" or "Go around me, you idiot!" :P
It would also be fun to have a megaphone system so that I could tell the goofballs in front of me to go faster or something...would make driving more fun :)
End Quote
I always drive a little over speed limit, so if someone is tailgating me I feel they are being unreasonable. I have a great way of handling this: Slow down to about 15-20 mph, if they try to pass, move into their way so they can't. Continue until they pull off or over then speed up back to normal. I have so much fun with this! ;D
I do have a megaphone system when my mom is with me. She is a road rager but only when she is a passenger, and it is hilarious to hear her. She will lean out the window and ask the driver she is angry with questions. "Are you crazy?" "Are you on drugs?" "What's the matter with you?" etc etc. Of course, in a town this small most people know who she is so they are used to it. Now when we go out of town.....
Subject: Re: The 10 Commandments of Driving in Seattle
Quoting:
I always drive a little over speed limit, so if someone is tailgating me I feel they are being unreasonable. I have a great way of handling this: Slow down to about 15-20 mph, if they try to pass, move into their way so they can't. Continue until they pull off or over then speed up back to normal. I have so much fun with this! ;D
End Quote
Oh yeah, I do that sometimes...when some guy's being a total butthole I slam on the brakes and watch him careen all over the place to avoid me...it's funny :) I don't think my mama likes that though.
I also have a problem with jaywalkers (and if you have ever been to Berkeley, you know what I mean). You'd think people who were smart enough (allegedly) to get into Berkeley would know that they would probably take more damage than a 2-ton SUV. Jaywalkers deserve their instant death penalty >:(
But that's just me, I could be wrong ::)
Subject: Re: The 10 Commandments of Driving in Seattle
Quoting:
I always drive a little over speed limit, so if someone is tailgating me I feel they are being unreasonable. I have a great way of handling this: Slow down to about 15-20 mph, if they try to pass, move into their way so they can't. Continue until they pull off or over then speed up back to normal. I have so much fun with this! ;D
I do have a megaphone system when my mom is with me. She is a road rager but only when she is a passenger, and it is hilarious to hear her. She will lean out the window and ask the driver she is angry with questions. "Are you crazy?" "Are you on drugs?" "What's the matter with you?" etc etc. Of course, in a town this small most people know who she is so they are used to it. Now when we go out of town.....
End Quote
My mom's best friend used to drive an RV with a PA system when I was little. It was so much fun going anywhere with her because she would just turn on the PA and start going off.
Subject: Re: The 10 Commandments of Driving in Seattle
Seattle drivers are over courteous, and we have very little jay walking problem. It was funny when I visited an ex-girlfriend going to school in Minneappolis, the drivers there were ruthless and it was the 1st time I feared for my life as a pedestrian. If you had the walk signal there you still had to check closely that the cars were yielding and run like h e double toothpicks! It was crazy.
Subject: Re: The 10 Commandments of Driving in Seattle
Quoting:
I dream of installing some kind of ticker sign on my back window so that I could preprogram responses to people using their high-beams on me or tailgating me or honking at me, like "F**K OFF!" or "Go around me, you idiot!" :P
End Quote
my old bus driver did that. i kind of miss her; she was funny without realizing it. the first day we had her, some guy pulled out in front of her. she flipped fim off, stuck her head out the window, and screamed, "WHAT ARE YOU, F--KING STUPID?!"
in pennsylvania, people don't understand the concept of "DOUBLE YELLOW LINES." they love making left turns on the wrong side of the road...it's hard to explain, but if you've ever seen enough pennsylvanians drive, you'll know what i'm talking about. :)
now, new jersey drivers, on the other hand... ;D let's just say those little old ladies can drive a lot faster than they're often credited for!
Subject: Re: The 10 Commandments of Driving in Seattle
Quoting:
;D let's just say those little old ladies can drive a lot faster than they're often credited for!
End Quote
I thought they resided in Pasadena ;)