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Subject: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
Just received this today and had to share:
1) He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
2) He said . . . Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly. She said . . . Well, you succeeded!
3) He said . . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
4) He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said. . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
5) He said . . . Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? She said . . . I would but you're never there.
6) On a wall in a ladies room . . . "My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it . . . " I do not"
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them.
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time
Q. What do men and sperm have in common? A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer.
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds? A. The bonds
mature.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short? A. So men can remember them.
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A. We don't know; it has never happened.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A. They already have boyfriends.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women? A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A.
They're married.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
ROFLMAO! So many truisms in that, Islandgirl! ;D
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
HEY!!! >:( That's completely uncalled for- I've changed a roll of toilet paper...once. ;D
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
Those were great, Island Girl.
http://www.inthe00s.com/smilies/laughing.gif
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
;D So funny & soooo true!
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
I shot coffee out through my nose on some of these...
http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/ROTFLMAO.gif
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
Excellent! ;D
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
Hey!! I resemble those remarks! ;D
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
Quoting:
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them.End Quote
There's only two of us? :-[
Quoting:
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have timeEnd Quote
Hmmm...I'd like to think I could do better than that :)
Quoting:Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds? A. The bonds
mature.
End Quote
There's something to be said for being young (and stupid) at heart ;D
Quoting:
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A. We don't know; it has never happened.End Quote
AHA! Your whole study is a sham, for I am the contrapositive! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :D
Quoting:
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A. They already have boyfriends.End Quote
That's actually really true. That's why one of my best buddies became a lesbian.
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
Quoting:
Hey!! I resemble those remarks! ;D
End Quote
LOL! ;D
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
What is the meaning of this word "Foreplay" that you speak of?
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
Quoting:
HEY!!! >:( That's completely uncalled for- I've changed a roll of toilet paper...once. ;D
End Quote
Me too! >:( :P ;D
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
Yoik !
Shannon, what are these things of which you speak ??? ??? :P ;D
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
I hear it involves what they term "kissing and/or "touching"
Quoting:
What is the meaning of this word "Foreplay" that you speak of?
End Quote
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
on February 12th, 2003, 11:05am, Rice Cube wrote:
Quoting: AHA! Your whole study is a sham, for I am the contrapositive! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!End Quote
I looked at this one quick and could have sworn it said you were the CONTRACEPTIVE! I was wondering just how ugly you WERE!
There, see, I've just shown we men ARE immature... but it's so much FUN!
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
Quoting:
I hear it involves what they term "kissing and/or "touching"
End Quote
So throwing her on the bed and yelling " Get ready for the best 2 minutes of your life!" doesn't count?
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
LMFAO! that was excellent. ;D
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
Quoting:
So throwing her on the bed and yelling " Get ready for the best 2 minutes of your life!" doesn't count?
End Quote
Wow! A whole 2 minutes? I don't think I could handle you!
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
Quoting:
So throwing her on the bed and yelling " Get ready for the best 2 minutes of your life!" doesn't count?
End Quote
WooHoo
Resin ! You're my hero ;D :P
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
Quoting:
So throwing her on the bed and yelling " Get ready for the best 2 minutes of your life!" doesn't count?
End Quote
Does that include travle time? ;)
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
Quoting:
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
End Quote
A. A bit longer than it takes a woman - after all, we actually put it back on the roller, rather than just balancing it on top.
Quoting:
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
End Quote
Because they don't go out at night
Quoting:
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
End Quote
Heather.
Quoting:
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."
End Quote
Does this mean we're back to "dumb blonde" jokes?
Quoting:
There's only two of us? :-[End Quote
Oh, Rice - so you're the other one ;-)
Phil
Subject: Re: Let's pick on the guys for a change.....
If they can send one man to the Moon, why can't they send them all.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
Mentrestion, Menapause-why do women problems always begin with "men?"
(Just kidding guys. You know I love you all. ;D)
Cat