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Subject: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Or so we are told...... ::)
As a matter of fact, the are certain truths in D, F, J & K just for starters ! :P
a.. The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.
b.. The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.
c.. Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.
d.. If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a media billionaire. Or on the other hand, he may be a wharfie.
e.. There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.
f.. On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.
g.. Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the plastic milk crate.
h.. All our best heroes are losers.
i.. The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.
j.. It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.
k.. A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of Australian footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.
l.. It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". By contrast, your worst enemy is "a bit of a bastard".
m.. Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship". Alternatively, Australians may just be really hopeless with names.
n.. The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to himself, but to the mosquitoes.
o.. If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing.
p.. The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that has the swimming pool.
q.. It's considered better to be down on your luck than up yourself.
r.. The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the family drinks too much.
s.. If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then spend all night drinking the host's beer. (Don't worry, he'll have catered for it).
t.. If there's any sort of free event or party within a hundred kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go.
u.. The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known.. You should take everything you own. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car, you're not trying.
v.. Unless ethnic or a Pom, you are not permitted to sit down in your front yard or on your front porch. Pottering about, gardening or leaning on the fence is acceptable. Just don't sit. That's what backyards are for.
w.. The tarred road always ends just after the house of the local mayor.
x.. On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be solved by leaving the food behind.
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
It still amazes me how close Austrailian and the American souths cultures seem to mask each other. ;D
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Quoting:
It still amazes me how close Austrailian and the American souths cultures seem to mask each other. ;D
End Quote
You want me to respond to that ? NO WAY ! I still remember Alabama ! :-/
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Quoting:
c.. Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle. End Quote
Dude! I LOVE sausages! (Begone, dirty minded demons!)
Quoting:
d.. If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a media billionaire. Or on the other hand, he may be a wharfie. End Quote
What the hell is a "wharfie"? ???
Quoting:
f.. On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out. End Quote
Man, you just gave their secret away...but then again, most thieves are stupid as dirt so I guess it doesn't matter.
Quoting:
h.. All our best heroes are losers. End Quote
Even the losers get lucky sometimes ;)
Quoting:
o.. If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing. End Quote
MacGyver would beg to differ ;)
Quoting:
t.. If there's any sort of free event or party within a hundred kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go. End Quote
After college and graduate school, I am ALL ABOUT the free stuff ;)
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Quoting:
e.. There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce. End Quote
"Tomato sauce" is Aussie for ketchup, right? ;D When I worked in a supermarket in a high tourist-traffic area, that's what most non-Americans meant by tomato sauce.
Quoting:
g.. Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the plastic milk crate. End Quote
This is, in fact, a universal truth. I have many in my home for just that reason.
Quoting:
o.. If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing. End Quote
Is this the Aussie equivalent of "duct tape and Krazy Glue" ? ;)
Quoting:
p.. The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that has the swimming pool. End Quote
Another universal truth. 8)
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Quoting:What the hell is a "wharfie"? ???End Quote
A person who works at the wharf onloading & loading (when they are not, frankly, stealing) from ships.....
We have a number of self made rich people who are a bit "rough and ready", hence the description 'swearing like a wharfie'....
Quoting:Man, you just gave their secret away...but then again, most thieves are stupid as dirt so I guess it doesn't matter.End Quote
I laughed when I read this one ! This is what people do ! They stick their valuables in shoes ! Ha ! (I've been known to do it.... :-/)
Quoting:
"Tomato sauce" is Aussie for ketchup, right? ;D When I worked in a supermarket in a high tourist-traffic area, that's what most non-Americans meant by tomato sauce. End Quote
Yes, Xena, that's right. Or to turn it around, Tomato Sauce is what Americans mean when they say Ketchup ! Heh heh heh ... :P
Quoting:Is this the Aussie equivalent of "duct tape and Krazy Glue" ? ;) End Quote
Yep ! As good as.....
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Quoting:
Yes, Xena, that's right. Or to turn it around, Tomato Sauce is what Americans mean when they say Ketchup ! Heh heh heh ... :P
End Quote
So.... what do you call tomato sauce.... ???
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Quoting:
So.... what do you call tomato sauce.... ???
End Quote
You don't fool me - I've seen you use the word Ketchup many a time ! ;)
To answer you, Tomato Sauce ;)
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Quoting:
You don't fool me - I've seen you use the word Ketchup many a time ! ;)
To answer you, Tomato Sauce ;)
End Quote
Yeah, but Ketchup is that stuff that come in a bottle that you squirt on your hamburgers...
Tomato sauce comes in a can and you make your chili and spaghetti sauce with it...
Not the same thing at all.... :(
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Quoting:
Yeah, but Ketchup is that stuff that come in a bottle that you squirt on your hamburgers...
Tomato sauce comes in a can and you make your chili and spaghetti sauce with it...
Not the same thing at all.... :(
End Quote
No ! Au Contraire ! :D
Tomato Sauce goes on Hamburgers (and apprently everything else ::))...
What you are describing is called Tomato Paste ;)
Hmmm, this should have been in that culture thread !
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Nope! Tomate paste is thick. Tomatoe sauce is thin. Ketchup we agree on. But, how about Catsup. :o ;D
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Ere ! TM ? Who you 'Nope-ing' ?
I agree with you - thick paste - thin sauce
As for Catsup - I have always thought that was Ketchup by an ever sillier name ??? :P
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
I agree with all of these FB - and laughed and laughed. I especially agree with
j.. It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.
That's when you drive along, changing hands on the steering wheel until both are so hot you cant belive you havent lost any skin.
x.. On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be solved by leaving the food behind.
This one is also equally true! You can never have too many esky's.
By the way, what do Americans call wharfies?
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Here in Canada an 'esky' is called a cooler and a 'wharfie' is called a longshoreman.....
So Fuss, when my old Australian boss used to call me a "yob" that was good b/c it was short and not what it was short for?
Put a heap o' tinnies in the esky and come on over for some pies n p*ss!
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Quoting:
Here in Canada an 'esky' is called a cooler and a 'wharfie' is called a longshoreman.....
So Fuss, when my old Australian boss used to call me a "yob" that was good b/c it was short and not what it was short for?
Put a heap o' tinnies in the esky and come on over for some pies n p*ss!
End Quote
Oops ! He wasn't paying you a compliment, Jon.... :-/
Yob is short for Yobbo, which basically translates to a layabout good for nothing..... :D
Trouble is, it is very much in the Australian manner to insult someone as an expression of affection....if i were to call you a clever bastard, it would be because I thought you were clever and admired that, not because I thought you were illegitimate...get it ?
:D
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Quoting:
Oops ! He wasn't paying you a compliment, Jon.... :-/
Yob is short for Yobbo, which basically translates to a layabout good for nothing..... :DEnd Quote
Oh I know what it stands for...I just thought that because she shortened it maybe that was a good thing? ;)
Quoting:Trouble is, it is very much in the Australian manner to insult someone as an expression of affection....if i were to call you a clever bastard, it would be because I thought you were clever and admired that, not because I thought you were illegitimate...get it ?
:D
End Quote
So then it was a good thing? I'm so confused......lol! J/K! ;D I'm just takin' the p*ss outta ya!
Subject: Re: The Basic guide to Aussie Life
Quoting:
By the way, what do Americans call wharfies?
End Quote
Here on the East Coast of the USA, we call them "longshoremen", too.
When my dad got out of the Navy he worked in a shipyard, and was around them all the time. He always made the distinction that he himself was not a longshoreman, becuase he was a skilled worker, (a machinist, working to build and repair ships) and longshoremen are not skilled.