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Subject: Observations of Life!
At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a bar, is when your
beer-to-toilet cycle becomes synchronised with a complete stranger.
You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a
calculator (Then turned it upside down).
Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly, as does prodding a fire with a stick
You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire
in your back garden.
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
It's impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your
teacher mum or dad.
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.
Old women with mobile phones look wrong !
It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
You never ever run out of salt.
Old ladies can eat more than you think.
You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
your hand or head stuck in something.
No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their
arm broken by a swan.
The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an
upturned plug.
People who don't drive, slam car doors too hard.
You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
Bricks are horrible to carry.
In every plate of fries, there is a bad fry.
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
There is some common truths in there Gabble, good post, I had a few chuckles.
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
Quoting:
Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator (Then turned it upside down).
End Quote
For some reason, with me it was SHELLOIL rather than BOOBLESS
Quoting:
Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
End Quote
Reading what someone else wrote when they're drunk is worse
Quoting:
Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly, as does prodding a fire with a stick
End Quote
Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes me feel my knife needs sharpening
Quoting:
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
End Quote
You never know where to look when a sexy woman is eating a banana
Quoting:
It's impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
End Quote
I was going to answer that one, but it was unutterably rude ;-)
Quoting:
You never ever run out of salt.
End Quote
You may not, I have a dishwasher
Quoting:
Old ladies can eat more than you think.
End Quote
I can eat more old ladies than you think
Quoting:
You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
End Quote
But you can respect a dog that carries a man
Quoting:
Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
End Quote
I grew up near a lake with lots of swans: it's happened to two guys in the same year as me at school in consecutive weeks.
Quoting:
The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
End Quote
You've never had Lego, then?
Quoting:
Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
End Quote
Bud mide wouldn't gib id bag
Quoting:
Bricks are horrible to carry.
End Quote
Even worse to take down fourteen stories in a barrel (ask Ray Stevens)
;-)
Phil
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
Quoting:
You've never had Lego, then?
;-)
Phil
End Quote
What can I say? You beat me to it. Leggos are MUCH worse than anything else I can think of. ;)
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
These are great and so true! ;D
Philbo~salt/dishwaher ??? Explain.
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
Quoting:
Philbo~salt/dishwaher ??? Explain.
End Quote
Dishwasher salt comes in great big bags.... but dishwashers use salt in large quantities (the harder the water, the more salt they need: round our way, they drink the bloody stuff)
Phil
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
Quoting:
Dishwasher salt comes in great big bags.... but dishwashers use salt in large quantities (the harder the water, the more salt they need: round our way, they drink the bloody stuff)
Phil
End Quote
Ahhh. Another cultural naming thing. I was thinking salt like salt and pepper.
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
Quoting:
Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a
calculator (Then turned it upside down).End Quote
We actually used to have an equation that you put in and, after about 4 steps, it would end up here.
Quoting:
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
End Quote
Especially when you're a woman!
Quoting:Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.End Quote
My hubby does this all the time. Drives me crazy! Especially when he doesn't put the seat up first!
Quoting:Old women with mobile phones look wrong !End Quote
But not as wrong as an old guy in a hot car!
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
Quoting:
Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a
calculator (Then turned it upside down).
End Quote
I can spell my name. ;D
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
Quoting:
The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an
upturned plug.
End Quote
Trust me, it's not as bad as stepping on a posting-pin! That really HURTS!
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
my friend and i got bored during math and discovered that 41.70537 makes "hi.loser"...graphing calculators take the fun out of it though, you can actually get the entire alphabet. (that's what i heard, anyway.)
in my house, we always seem to run out of salt though... O.o
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
:D :D dude, that was good thanks for the laugh i needed that
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
Quoting:
Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a
calculator (Then turned it upside down)
End Quote
Actually, the one I heard is "One 16-yr old girl has done 69 three times. What do u call her?" (11669 X 3)
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
Hey! I remember that one, too. Fun with calculators!!
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
What about the midget urinals? Nobody's said anything about midget urinals. You know, the ones that are for people less than 3 feet tall so they don't have to aim UP. :D
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
Ours was so tame. We did 7734 or when we wanted to be nice 0.7734.
Cat
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
isnt it funny - I never knew there were so many boobless versions !
Mine was:
There once was a lady with size 69 boobs
(type 69 in calc)
So she went to the doctor and said she wanted them smaller.
So he gave her some pills and said take 2 of these tablets every 2nd day every 2nd week.
(type the 2's as you say them)
When she went back to the doctor she was size 51.
(type 51 in)
But she still wanted them even smaller, so he said "have 8 of these)
(multiply by 8)
and this is how she turned out.
Then you turn the calc around !!
I use to have a travelling tale that equaled shelloil but for some reason I never memorised it the way I did with the other one !!
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
That was good for a laugh Gabble. Here's some Deep Thoughts from Jack Handy. ;D
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
When you are going up stairs and you take a step, kick the other leg up high behind you to keep people from following too close.
Subject: Re: Observations of Life!
Thank you HD, that was some funny stuff. :D