My bud Fuss sent this to me; apparently he knows me well!
I don't know who authored it originally, but it does capture my thoughts pretty accurately.... ;D ::)

Why Women Get Cranky

We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs. Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time, which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little
cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John.  Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with
the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day, making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants every
time we sneeze. (The latter condition never goes away, either...lots of times, neither does the former.)

When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and
puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one or (or 10) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the bastard (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10
lb. bowing ball through a keyhole.

After that, it's time to raise those angels, only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

The teen years. Need I say more?

The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just happens to be the reason all that early, hot, man sex got you pregnant in the first place).

Now we hit the grand finale: Menopause. The Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or sweat like a hog in July, wash your
sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off of anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

Now, I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great Ghandi a tad crabby.

Women are the weaker sex?

Yeah, right. Bite me.

***In all honesty, it was probably the "Bite Me" that made FB immediatly think of me...it is one of my more-used phrases....***

And this is why I respect women...because if I don't, they'll bite my head off ;D

LOL!!!  But how true it is. :D

Oh, MONEY!!!  ;D

http://www.restrooms.org/two.jpg

This girl is my hero.  I want her to have my babies so then we can create a race of women who can all pee standing up!  :D


*Joke disclaimer*  

Oh, Banasy!  Thanks for posting that!  It sure sums everything up, doesn't it?!  I think I'm going to copy it and print it out to show my husband!  ;D

Right on, Banasy!  Women are still a mystery to me and you hit the nail right on the head!

Edited to add:

The sight of the girl peeing standing up reminds me of that scene in "The Full Monty" where the guys hide out in the men's room of a male strip joint and a woman comes and relieves herself in the urinal--standing up!

Interestingly enough, these are all the reasons men get cranky as well:  Because they have to deal with moody women who have to deal with pregnancy, etc.

Thanks Banasy! ;D Made my day!

What a great essay, Banasy!  (and thanks to FB for finding it).

I'd like to add to that all the times the doctor tells you "the cramps couldn't possibly hurt that much."  >:( ::) >:(

Why is this only heard from male doctors?  And what makes him think he's qualified to know? ::) :(

pee standing up? I'd sure like to see women urinals.
See,but it'll wind up on the floor anyway.

what if women had to go pee in the bushes?

LMAO. That was great. XD I'm going to post that in my journal.