There was once this doctor that had the uncanny ability to perform diagnoses on patients without even seeing them. At 8 AM, a woman walked into his office.
"Doctor, doctor", she sobbed. "There's something wrong with my daughter. She keeps throwing up whenever she sees the television. I can't even bring her here because I can't afford a visit."
"No need to worry", the doctor said in a soothing voice. "She just has common nausea, which is normal. I recommend a bicarbonate of soda." The woman happily said, "Yes, yes I'll try it." The next day the woman called to thank the doctor enthusiastically for saving her daughter's life."
  Soon after, he received another frantic person. The visitor seemed desperate. "Doc, you gotta help me," the man yelled. "My wife just had an accident. I think her hip was broken. I can't even afford an ambulance or insurance right now." The doctor asked, "Is she moving?" The man replied, "Yes, ever so slightly". The doctor hushed, "Don't worry. Just carry her to a soft couch and let her rest." The next day, the husband called to proclaim that his wife was 100% better and that she was walking like a woman half her age.
  The doctor was just about to reward himself to a game of golf when an distraught elderly woman appeared in his office. "Doctor, I know this is pretty trivial and I'm sorry to ruin your golf game but..." The doctor interrupted her, "There's nothing too trivial for me that I can't skip a golf game this week. Just sit down and tell me about it." "Well", started the lady. "My husband keeps taking these baths, but he still stinks pretty badly. I can't even play bridge without him smelling up the room. His deodorant doesn't do him any good. What in tarnation shall I do?" The doctor just laughed and cooly answered, "Madame, what your husband has is a classic case of "old man's aroma". It's normal for his age. You just need some alcohol and a bristle brush." The old lady just looked at him quizzically. "That can't be it", she said. "I don't understand", answered Doc. "The older a person gets, his sweat glands start to shut down. Is there another problem I should know about?" "Yes", replied the dowager. "My husband is 29."  

well, nobody's commented on your amazing joke yet, so i am okay?
Ahem rrrr hm.
LOL!!!!!!! ;D :D :'( ;)

Thank you, ShellyGal. You have a very Merry Holidays. ;)

I don't get it.  (Big surprise, huh?)

I know know if I can make it any funnier for you, cs, but I'll try to explain.
Supposedly, the doctor has this psychic power to find out what is wrong with his patients without even seeing them. He usually gets them correct, as with the first two people. But he assumes incorrectly that the elderly woman's husband is the same age she is, probably because the doctor is distracted by the golf game he is currently not playing in. P.S.: There is a such thing as "old person's odor", but I believe it's under a scientific name I don't know. 

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I don't get it.  (Big surprise, huh?)
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I'm afraid I'm with cs.  I just don't get it.  It seems incomplete.  Like there should be something else to it to make it.... funny...

But a lot of jokes are like that. That's why I don't get the joke about getting bit by the forehead by standing on a chair joke. But this discovery of "old man's odor" is fairly new to you. I'll try to find a better joke that has less to do with the medical profession that everyone will at least get.
P.S.: When I listened to your radio show, I did not get a few of your jokes. It was like jokes waiting for laughs. But that doesn't make you a worse person or your show less funny. So I guess we're squared on that. I'm not trying to reach for a comeback, but it IMHO.  

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I'm afraid I'm with cs.  I just don't get it.  It seems incomplete.  Like there should be something else to it to make it.... funny...
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Oh, I wasn't trying to put you down, I was just thinking that the joke seemed incomplete.  It didn't have anything to do with the "old man's odor", but rather that it just left me, and apparently cs, feeling that there should have been something more after the "My husband is 29" line.  I didn't mean to insult you or the joke.

Quoting:That's why I don't get the joke about getting bit by the forehead by standing on a chair jokeEnd Quote

What joke is that?

You mean I had to add "years old" to that?  ;D
I'm really not offended by your comment. Some things are just funnier told than in print. I had just thought up an abbreviated version before I printed it here, and I mistakenly  thought the set up would help.

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Oh, I wasn't trying to put you down, I was just thinking that the joke seemed incomplete.  It didn't have anything to do with the "old man's odor", but rather that it just left me, and apparently cs, feeling that there should have been something more after the "My husband is 29" line.  I didn't mean to insult you or the joke.
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The old joke where two boys are talking and one of the boys has a gash on his forehead. The other one asks how he got it and the first boy says "I bit myself". The second boy asks him how that could be. The first boy says "I stood on a chair".  ???
Maybe it one of those cerebral jokes.  

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What joke is that?
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The chair joke just isn't funny.  I'll explain it for you.

The boy had a scar on his forehead and the other asked how he did it, he said he stood on a chair... as in he had to stand on a chair to bite his forehead.... Don't know technically how this would be done and thus the joke is pants.

You are understating the yuck factor of this joke. It's the worst joke ever printed in a joke book that isn't offensive. Have anyone try to commit suicide after failing to get it?  :-X

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The chair joke just isn't funny.  I'll explain it for you.

The boy had a scar on his forehead and the other asked how he did it, he said he stood on a chair... as in he had to stand on a chair to bite his forehead.... Don't know technically how this would be done and thus the joke is pants.
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LOL, i could have swore ive read this post, but its just as funny this time as the first time. i dont know dejavu i guess.

I hope you weren't laughing at the joke.

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LOL, i could have swore ive read this post, but its just as funny this time as the first time. i dont know dejavu i guess.
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