Welcome to the archived messages from In The 00s. This archive stretches back to 1998 in some instances, and contains a nearly complete record of all the messages posted to inthe00s.com. You will also find an archive of the messages from inthe70s.com, inthe80s.com, inthe90s.com and amiright.com before they were combined to form the inthe00s.com messageboard.
If you are looking for the active messages, please click here. Otherwise, use the links below or on the right hand side of the page to navigate the archives.
Subject: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Lordy Lord, am I gonna get some stick for this (I'm looking at you Langdon, and awaiting your definite response!!!!)
100 PLUS REASONS WHY IT'S BETTER TO BE A BLOKE!
Phone conversations last 30 seconds.
You know useful stuff about tanks and aeroplanes.
Queues for the toilet are 80% shorter.
You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you everywhere you go.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
You never have to clean the toilet.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
Flowers (or duct tape) fix everything.
You never have to worry about anyone else's feelings.
Same work - more pay.
If you don't call your friend when you say you will, he won't tell everyone that you've changed.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
You can drive a car.
Even in a crowded car park.
You don't need a second opinion to know if your butt looks big in what you're wearing.
You can buy the first thing you see without having to come back three hours later.
You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
You can open all your own jars.
Old friends don't give you s**t if you've lost or gained weight.
Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
When channel surfing, you don't have to stall on every shot of
someone crying.
Your buut and your chest are never factors in job interviews
All your orgasms are real.
A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
Movie nudity is virtually always female.
People expect you to masturbate.
You can go the toilet without a support group.
Your last name stays put.
You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
When your work is criticised, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
You can kill your own food.
The garage is yours, all yours.
Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
You can't get pregnant.
You can fart with impunity.
You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
Sex means never having to worry about your reputation.
You can get to places on time.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Timetables and fax machines don't confuse you.
None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
People aren't talking about you all the time.
If you're 34 and single, nobody gives a damn.
You can write your name in the snow.
You don't have to bother having a proper conversation with your mates down the bar.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
You can get through a day off work without daytime television.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours (and 100% of your sleeping hours)
You can wear a white shirt in the rain.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough for most of your life.
You can boast about the number of people you've slept with.
You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
Foreplay is optional.
Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk in the room.
You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
You don't have to clean your flat if the meter reader is coming by.
You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a toss if no one notices your new haircut.
You can watch a game in silence with your mate for hours without even thinking, "He must be mad at me".
The world is your urinal.
You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
You can play and enjoy computer games other than Tetris.
Hot wax never comes near your pubes.
One mood, all the time.
You can admire Tim Roth without starving yourself to look like him.
You can remember the punch lines to jokes.
You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
Grey hair and wrinkles add character.
You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
Wedding Dress: £1000; Morning suit hire: £50.
You can vomit without being accused of bulimia.
With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's
population in 15 tries - at least in theory, and trying would be fun.
You don't mooch off others' desserts.
If you retain water, it's in a glass.
The remote is yours and yours alone.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
You can sit in a pub on your own without sad baskets trying to cop off with you.
You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
Stag nights are much more fun than Hen nights.
You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" when you go for a dump.
Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
You can rationalise any behaviour with the handy phrase, "F*ck it!"
If another bloke shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become best mates.
You can teach your friend's children swear words.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
You think the idea of putting a cat in a tumble drier is funny.
If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
A week's holiday requires only one suitcase.
Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
You can run without looking like a complete idiot.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice
anything different?"
You can play football instead of going to a family bash - and not feel guilty.
Bleeding doesn't come with a mood change or a chocolate fetish.
Not bleeding isn't a problem.
Throwing / catching objects is possible
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
End Quote
This isn't strictly a guy thing...trust me. :)
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
This isn't strictly a guy thing...trust me. :)
End Quote
Oh Dagwood, Thank goodness :) You have re-affirmed my faith in human nature
I had just finished giving old MB a bagging in the games thread too ;D
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
I dunno about Langdon, but I have a few answers!
Queues for the toilet are 80% shorter.
That's because none of you guys could hit the broad side of a barn if your life depended on it. At least I have better aim!
Flowers (or duct tape) fix everything.
"If it can't be fixed with duct tape or Crazy Glue, it can't be fixed at all". Flowers don't fix anything. They just prove you know you screwed up, even if you don't know just how.
Same work - more pay.
Wrong. We do twice as much in half the time. We are naturally more efficient. It's just a matter of time before we get that pay thing fixed.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Hot wax never comes near your pubes.
Oh, I don't know....It might make things more...interesting if you did. http://www.inthe00s.com/smilies/baddevil.gif
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
And yet, I have never experienced this phenomenon. They always make some sort of comment.
The world is your urinal.
See my comment above on men being unable to "aim" properly.
The remote is yours and yours alone.
But the batteries are mine and mine alone!!! BWAhahaha!! http://www.inthe00s.com/smilies/evil_lol.gif http://www.inthe00s.com/smilies/laughing.gif
Stag nights are much more fun than Hen nights.
You've never been to one of my 'Hen' parties, have you? http://www.smilies-world.de/Smilies/Smilies_boese_1/spanka.gif
You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
Yarite!
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Nonetheless relevent to Rebel, or just some comments:
You know useful stuff about tanks and aeroplanes.
Queues for the toilet are 80% shorter. (when has this been a problem? What is this, Disney World?)
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You never have to worry about anyone else's feelings.
Same work - more pay. (generally irrelevent; we do get paid the same as similar boys)
If you don't call your friend when you say you will, she won't tell everyone that you've changed.
You can drive a car. (Damn straight!)
Even in a crowded car park. (Even more damn straight - I don't speed thru parking lots so pedestrians get run over and departing cars get broadsided!)
You don't need a second opinion to know if your butt looks big in what you're wearing.
You can buy the first thing you see without having to come back three hours later. (half the time - I'm very careful)
You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
You can open all your own jars.
Old friends don't give you s**t if you've lost or gained weight.
Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind. (Dry cleaners? why? hair - much diff w/lots of hair.)
When channel surfing, you don't have to stall on every shot of
someone crying.
Your butt and your chest are never factors in job interviews
A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
Movie nudity is virtually always female. (just a statement of sickening fact)
You can go the toilet without a support group.
Your last name stays put. (If I can help it)
You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
When your work is criticised, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
You can kill your own food. (wouldn't know - would you?)
The garage is yours, all yours. (well, it's all female, anyway....)
You can get to places on time.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Timetables and fax machines don't confuse you.
People aren't talking about you all the time.
You can write your name in the snow.
You don't have to bother having a proper conversation with your mates down the bar.
You can get through a day off work without daytime television.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
You can wear a white shirt in the rain.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough for most of your life.
Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk in the room.
You don't have to clean your flat if the meter reader is coming by.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. (Once they find out I know the deal. I usually tell them what to look at.)
You don't give a toss if no one notices your new haircut.
You can watch a game in silence with your mate for hours without even thinking, "He must be mad at me".
You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
You can play and enjoy computer games other than Tetris.
Hot wax never comes near your pubes.
You can admire Tim Roth without starving yourself to look like him. (who the hell is that?)
You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
You can vomit without being accused of bulimia.
With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's
population in 15 tries - at least in theory, and trying would be fun. (uh, the math here?)
You don't mooch off others' desserts.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. (I don't have much!)
You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" when you go for a dump.
If another bloke shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become best mates.
If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room. (it's the electrical that's usually the problem, tho)
A week's holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can run without looking like a complete idiot.
Throwing / catching objects is possible
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
Lordy Lord, am I gonna get some stick for this (I'm looking at you Langdon, and awaiting your definite response!!!!) End Quote
Very funny, a lot true BUT....and I'll assume Langdon is with me on some of these.
100 PLUS REASONS WHY IT'S BETTER TO BE A BLOKE!
Queues for the toilet are 80% shorter.
Ours don't smell like a lion's den.
You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you everywhere you go.
We don't have to ask for what we forgot.
You can drive a car.
At least we don't get lost.
Even in a crowded car park.
Can you say, "valet"?
You don't need a second opinion to know if your butt looks big in what you're wearing.
But, you should take it.
You can open all your own jars.
And that's why we keep you.
Old friends don't give you s**t if you've lost or gained weight.
What about lost or gained hair?
Your butt and your chest are never factors in job interviews.
But they sure help when there isn't a table available at a restaurant ;)
All your orgasms are real.
One orgasm at a time. Ho Hum. ;D
A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
Wanna bet?
You can go the toilet without a support group.
Remember, this is when we're talking about you.
You can kill your own food.
You can kill it, I can cook it.
The garage is yours, all yours.
This is called keeping you in your place.
You can't get pregnant.
But you can pay child support.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
We will never have to insert a spinning blade into our ears or noses.
You can write your name in the snow.
Have you seen how talented Langdon is?
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
Until your nose turns that one pint too many red.
Foreplay is optional.
Not if you want to go back to the "swallow" question.
Hot wax never comes near your pubes.
But, it should come near your backs.
One mood, all the time.
Boring!
You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
And that's why I never have to open my own beer bottle.
Grey hair and wrinkles add character.
As long as they're on your head.
You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
We're pretty sure it's still there without checking.
Wedding Dress: £1000; Morning suit hire: £50.
Honeymoon? You pay.
With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's
population in 15 tries - at least in theory-trying would be fun.
This would only work if your sperm asked directions.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
People never glance at our crotches and think, "Ahhh, too bad."
Stag nights are much more fun than Hen nights.
NOT true!
You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
Yes, but it's so fun to buy them from the 17 year old clerk and watch him go all shades of red.
Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
But a dirty old women is so much more fun.
You can run without looking like a complete idiot.
How about dancing though?
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
TOUCHE !!
Quoting:
Lordy Lord, am I gonna get some stick for this (I'm looking at you Langdon, and awaiting your definite response!!!!)
Very funny, a lot true BUT....and I'll assume Langdon is with me on some of these.
100 PLUS REASONS WHY IT'S BETTER TO BE A BLOKE!
Queues for the toilet are 80% shorter.
Ours don't smell like a lion's den.
You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you everywhere you go.
We don't have to ask for what we forgot.
You can drive a car.
At least we don't get lost.
Even in a crowded car park.
Can you say, "valet"?
You don't need a second opinion to know if your butt looks big in what you're wearing.
But, you should take it.
You can open all your own jars.
And that's why we keep you.
Old friends don't give you s**t if you've lost or gained weight.
What about lost or gained hair?
Your butt and your chest are never factors in job interviews.
But they sure help when there isn't a table available at a restaurant ;)
All your orgasms are real.
One orgasm at a time. Ho Hum. ;D
A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
Wanna bet?
You can go the toilet without a support group.
Remember, this is when we're talking about you.
You can kill your own food.
You can kill it, I can cook it.
The garage is yours, all yours.
This is called keeping you in your place.But you can pay child support.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
We will never have to insert a spinning blade into our ears or noses.
You can write your name in the snow.
Have you seen how talented Langdon is?
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
Until your nose turns that one pint too many red.
Foreplay is optional.
Not if you want to go back to the "swallow" question.
Hot wax never comes near your pubes.
But, it should come near your backs.
One mood, all the time.
Boring!
You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
And that's why I never have to open my own beer bottle.
Grey hair and wrinkles add character.
As long as they're on your head.
You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
We're pretty sure it's still there without checking.
Wedding Dress: £1000; Morning suit hire: £50.
Honeymoon? You pay.
With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's
population in 15 tries - at least in theory-trying would be fun.
This would only work if your sperm asked directions.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
People never glance at our crotches and think, "Ahhh, too bad."
Stag nights are much more fun than Hen nights.
NOT true!
You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. Yes, but it's so fun to buy them from the 17 year old clerk and watch him go all shades of red.
Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
But a dirty old women is so much more fun.
You can run without looking like a complete idiot.
How about dancing though?
End Quote
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Watch it lady!!!!
Quoting:
I dunno about Langdon, but I have a few answers!
Queues for the toilet are 80% shorter.
That's because none of you guys could hit the broad side of a barn if your life depended on it. At least I have better aim!
Flowers (or duct tape) fix everything.
"If it can't be fixed with duct tape or Crazy Glue, it can't be fixed at all". Flowers don't fix anything. They just prove you know you screwed up, even if you don't know just how.
Same work - more pay.
Wrong. We do twice as much in half the time. We are naturally more efficient. It's just a matter of time before we get that pay thing fixed.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Hot wax never comes near your pubes.
Oh, I don't know....It might make things more...interesting if you did. http://www.inthe00s.com/smilies/baddevil.gif
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
And yet, I have never experienced this phenomenon. They always make some sort of comment.
The world is your urinal.
See my comment above on men being unable to "aim" properly.
The remote is yours and yours alone.
But the batteries are mine and mine alone!!! BWAhahaha!! http://www.inthe00s.com/smilies/evil_lol.gif http://www.inthe00s.com/smilies/laughing.gif
Stag nights are much more fun than Hen nights.
You've never been to one of my 'Hen' parties, have you? http://www.smilies-world.de/Smilies/Smilies_boese_1/spanka.gif
You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
Yarite!
End Quote
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Remember that week of Conan when he thought Michael Bolton was trying to kill him? That was fun stuff ;D
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Oh, Tripsmom thank you...I have not laughed that hard in a very long time! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D You get 5 erik estrada smiles for that one!
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
"Sex means never having to worry about your reputation."
What about no sex?
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
"Sex means never having to worry about your reputation."
What about no sex?
End Quote
I guess that means you won't have a reputation to taint :)
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
"Wedding Dress: £1000; Morning suit hire: £50."
Hmm........this almost makes me want to write a list of all the reasons its better to be AMERICAN
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Well, ladies, I have just one thing to say-if they can send one man to the moon, why can't they send them all?
Cat
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
Well, ladies, I have just one thing to say-if they can send one man to the moon, why can't they send them all?
Cat
End Quote
Not all of us are evil, Cat ;) But I wouldn't mind a free trip to the moon.
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
Not all of us are evil, Cat ;) But I wouldn't mind a free trip to the moon.
End Quote
Did I say men were evil?
Cat
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
Did I say men were evil?
Cat
End Quote
'Twas implied ::) But let's not mince words. Would women go to Venus if men went to the moon? Or would we be frolicking like lovers in 1/6th normal gravity?
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
'Twas implied ::) But let's not mince words. Would women go to Venus if men went to the moon? Or would we be frolicking like lovers in 1/6th normal gravity?
End Quote
Probably the latter. (By the way, I am from Venus-that is what the "V" stands for.)
Cat
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
Probably the latter. (By the way, I am from Venus-that is what the "V" stands for.)
Cat
End Quote
I'm glad we understand each other ;D Carry on :)
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Carry on with what??
Cat
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Hi Cat. I thought the V meant you have 5 cats?
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
Hi Cat. I thought the V meant you have 5 cats?
End Quote
Bite your tongue. I did have four at one time but now it is only....Well, I want to say two but we are catsitting for a third and we have been since the summer. So it looks like we have three.
Cat
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
Oh Dagwood, Thank goodness :) You have re-affirmed my faith in human nature
I had just finished giving old MB a bagging in the games thread too ;D
End Quote
I am glad your faith is re-affirmed. :)
Tripsmom, Xenacat....thanks for the laughs. Your lists were great! ;D
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
"Wedding Dress: £1000; Morning suit hire: £50."
Hmm........this almost makes me want to write a list of all the reasons its better to be AMERICAN
End Quote
Go on then!!
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
Go on then!!
End Quote
Ok I can only think of a few right now........
Pounds are only used for weighing.
We don't have to use the metric system.
We don't use the word "bloke."
We don't have to say "bloody" to replace choice words.
We know how to brush our teeth.
We only have to see our PRESIDENTS for a maximum of 8 yrs....not 100.
Ooh! I bet that hurt...........well maybe not but I'll need some more time to think about this...
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
We don't have to use the metric system.
End Quote
Some of us actually prefer the metric system ;) Easily to multiply by 10 instead of 3, 12, 5280 etc...but it's nice to know that 10 degrees F MEANS 10 degrees F ::)
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
Some of us actually prefer the metric system ;) Easily to multiply by 10 instead of 3, 12, 5280 etc...but it's nice to know that 10 degrees F MEANS 10 degrees F ::)
End Quote
True, i DO greatly appreciate the Fahrenheit scale too.
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
When I was in school, I was told that we were going to switch to the metric system in about 10 years. That was in the year 19__ Well, lets just say it was long time ago.
Cat
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
When I was in school, I was told that we were going to switch to the metric system in about 10 years. That was in the year 19__ Well, lets just say it was long time ago.
Cat
End Quote
I was told that same thing, Cat! Wonder what happened? Why don't we use the metric system in the US more often anyway? Anyone know?
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Because we Americans are a very stubborn people. We don't like change, us Americans.
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
Because we Americans are a very stubborn people. We don't like change, us Americans.
End Quote
you are quite right, of course! :)
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Y'all! I'm seriously stumped! I can't think of anything else to add to my list; help me out, please!
I guess this is why I shouldn't have my own late-night talk show....or be on Whose Line is It Anyway. :(
It just wasn't meant to be...
-Queen Ruth Lorraine AmenRa Burnt Noodles Shway Crayola Staples
p.s. I'll admit to 2 good things that came out of England:
1. the Bronte sisters
2. Monty Python
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
Y'all! I'm seriously stumped! I can't think of anything else to add to my list; help me out, please!
I guess this is why I shouldn't have my own late-night talk show....or be on Whose Line is It Anyway. :(
It just wasn't meant to be...
-Queen Ruth Lorraine AmenRa Burnt Noodles Shway Crayola Staples
p.s. I'll admit to 2 good things that came out of England:
1. the Bronte sisters
2. Monty Python
End Quote
And me!!!!!
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
And me!!!!!
End Quote
Ah yes, and my lowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwly servant Ratchett
(maybe you can try to think of reasons why its better to be British......and i'll just reverse it on ya ;) )
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
And me!!!! And JimA, and Criz! And everyone else!
Quoting:
And me!!!!!
End Quote
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
And me!!!! And JimA, and Criz! And everyone else!
End Quote
>:( Sure lets name ALL the Brits why don't we????
....and Charlotte Church.....and oh whatever.........
but don't forget the Aussies (i.e. Rusell Crowe ;D *hear the sounds of everyone groaning in unison*)
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Nah, not Charlotte, she's gotten in too much trouble lately.
Quoting:
>:( Sure lets name ALL the Brits why don't we????
....and Charlotte Church
End Quote
Subject: Re: Come on girls, It's all in good fun!!!!!
Quoting:
Nah, not Charlotte, she's gotten in too much trouble lately.
End Quote
I didn't know that..........
Oh well.......I forgot another thing: I DO like "Rule Britannia" I use to play/sing it to get on my little sister's nerve. :D