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Subject: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
We all have relationship probs. and this is where you can discuss em!
OK, I have got a problem. I love my girlfriend Lauren, but i have crossed paths with Erin, just so you know, i am not engaged, i was just trying to start a conversation, but hey im 17 i do things like that. But Erin is someone who i feel much closer to, and only because of a misunderstanding in early 2002 we never hit it off. So i met Lauren in March of this year. FORGIVE ME FOR MY LITTLE WHITE LIES. but any way, im coming to all of you guys for some advice. I am thinking about breaking up with Lauren, because well we have not connected like me and Erin, and well i just dont know what to do?
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
This is going to sound trite, but GJ I would say follow your heart. Not a very good answer I know...but one persons solution is definitely not for another person. Hang in there and don't make any fast decisions. :-/
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Well,My ex-girlfriend broke up with me a year ago and I'm happy now.It's time to move on with my life. ;)
howard :D
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
yeah i dont plan on doing any thing too fast and thanks for the advice
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
I would also say follow your heart. You need to look deep into yourself and decide what it is that you want. No one else can tell you that but you. Once you have decided what you truely want (which I understand sometimes isn't too easy to do) then you have to decide the best course of action to achieve it. Just be very careful. Those little white lies do have a way of biting you in the butt.
Cat
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
I always followed my heart. I was engaged and broke up with the guy, met someone else not too long after and married him. Just take some time for yourself to really think it through. This might not be a lifetime commitment, but any break up can hurt. You said you love your girlfriend, but I think maybe you aren't in love with her...and there is a lot of difference there.
Maybe try something as simple as making a list of the pros and cons of both of these young ladies. When you have it all out there in front of you it may make it easier. Just be sure to be completely honest when you do it, try not to slant it one way or the other.
Good luck whatever your decision may be.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Quoting:
Maybe try something as simple as making a list of the pros and cons of both of these young ladies. When you have it all out there in front of you it may make it easier. Just be sure to be completely honest when you do it, try not to slant it one way or the other.
End Quote
Oh my...remember that one episode of Friends when Rachel found out Ross and co. made a list comparing her and Julie? You DON'T want to get caught doing that, John ;)
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Love and loss,- live and learn from it.
At 17 you are going to have plenty of opportunity to break hearts and have your broken, it's part of life as we live it. Regrets and bad disicions come to, and from, everyone.
GJ, your young, best thing you can do is make mistakes without being mean.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Be brave and be honest.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Great advice!
And be forthwrite and don't play games. The worst thing to do is leave things unclear and without finality.
Quoting:
Be brave and be honest.
End Quote
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Whatever you decide, use both honesty and TACT. If you decide to break up with your current girlfriend, tell her why, but don't be mean.
Good: I'm breaking up because I'm finding myself paying too much attention to others, including other girls. And that's not fair to you. I don't want to make a stupid mistake and inadvertantly hurt you.
Bad: I'm breaking up because I like someone else better.
If you can remember to be careful of other people's feelings, you should be ok. Just reverse the situation. What would you want either girl to say to you?
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Are you sure Erin wants to hook up with you? 'Cause it'd sure suck if you dumped Lauren and then Erin turned out to be uninterested in dating you, wouldn't it? Watch your step.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Woo-hoo, a thread just for me! I'll take a while over this one...
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Quoting:
I always followed my heart. I was engaged and broke up with the guy, met someone else not too long after and married him. Just take some time for yourself to really think it through. This might not be a lifetime commitment, but any break up can hurt. You said you love your girlfriend, but I think maybe you aren't in love with her...and there is a lot of difference there.
Maybe try something as simple as making a list of the pros and cons of both of these young ladies. When you have it all out there in front of you it may make it easier. Just be sure to be completely honest when you do it, try not to slant it one way or the other.
Good luck whatever your decision may be.
End Quote
yeah thanks for the advice and i think you are right i love lauren but im not in love with her, and even if erin, is not interested, then i will live but i dont want to stay with Lauren if there is no point in it.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
My ex-girlfriend was always a control freak.I can't believe I put up with her crap 5 years! >:(
howard
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Quoting:
We all have relationship probs. and this is where you can discuss em!End Quote
Well....
You think you lot have problems? Wait until I start:
Well, first off, this guy broke up with me because of (APPARENTLY) his brother's jealousy... then, after about ten months of ignoring me and getting me to want true revenge on him, he asks me out again, and, being highly naive, (I'm 16 by the way) I said "yes"... but we broke up again because my dad doesn't trust him and his parents hate me... and now he's being, well, a (I can't say the word on here 'cause Chucky will go off at me :() and, even though I'm so dying for sweet revenge on his ever so cruel games, I know that in my heart I can't do anything that would actually get him emotionally in the same state as me because of my feelings.
Anyone want to offer advice?
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Ghetto John and Ice Princess SLOW DOWN. You are both too young to even be thinking about serious relationships. Have fun while you're still young.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
I like Emily. I have no idea if she likes me back, and I don't have the guts to ask her.
Leigh likes me. I have no idea how to tell her that I don't like her back and I'd rather be just friends -- by the way, this is a bizarre, nearly surrealistic role reversal for me.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Quoting:
I like Emily. I have no idea if she likes me back, and I don't have the guts to ask her.
Leigh likes me. I have no idea how to tell her that I don't like her back and I'd rather be just friends -- by the way, this is a bizarre, nearly surrealistic role reversal for me.
End Quote
The trick, Kenny, is to bypass your brain for a brief second, ask her out before your brain realizes and screams "WHAT ARE YOU DOING??" and then you'll have gotten over the hurdle.
As for the other one...well, honesty will have to play a role someday anyway.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Quoting:
Have fun while you're still young.
End Quote
hmm... Well, I try, but I think way too much to have fun. Besides, there's too many other problems around to have fun.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
My advice? No revenge. Revenge is just what this guy wants. He came back to you... presumably of his own accord, and yet, because you still have feelings for him, albeit that dying ember, revenge doesn't seem what you want. Take it slowly, hold your grudges, but don't let them surface. If you do that, you risk hurting a hell of a lot more people than you first envisaged.
First of all, let me say this:
However much of an absolute c**t he may be, you two have your memories together. Happy ones, sad ones, sweet ones. Together. Me and you both, as young people, our minds are probably at their most active. What if... I'd have done this. What if... I hadn't have made that mistake at that time, which then led to...
This serves us no use. I'll admit I do this a lot, I reminisce on past times, sit on past feelings, and so on. You're still wanting to protect him. That's obvious from saying that you don't want him to feel the same as you about it. In a sense, is not telling him the best option? If you leave it too long, you'll be sitting on what you never said for days, weeks, months to come.
My next query comes in the form of... how do you feel about him. From what I gather, you've still got *feelings* for him. id estis, you don't want him in the same position as you.
Yet, if this relationship really WAS between you, him, and... it seems his own brother's jealousy, maybe in the first place this was not the ideal scenario to be with him.
Quoting:
Well....
You think you lot have problems? Wait until I start:
Well, first off, this guy broke up with me because of (APPARENTLY) his brother's jealousy... then, after about ten months of ignoring me and getting me to want true revenge on him, he asks me out again, and, being highly naive, (I'm 16 by the way) I said "yes"... but we broke up again because my dad doesn't trust him and his parents hate me... and now he's being, well, a (I can't say the word on here 'cause Chucky will go off at me :() and, even though I'm so dying for sweet revenge on his ever so cruel games, I know that in my heart I can't do anything that would actually get him emotionally in the same state as me because of my feelings.
Anyone want to offer advice?
End Quote
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
OK,Ghetto John I would say if you feel like you do then you should finish with Lauren now.The longer you leave it the more hurt she is going to be when you do finally decide to end it,but yes do it gently!
Ice Princess,I feel for you I really do this guy sounds like a complete and utter *******! Try to ignore him if you possibly can and hopefully when he realises he can't get a reaction out of you anymore,he'll give up.He's obviously enjoying playing games and hurting youTempting though it is revenge rarely achieves anything,usually you feel good for a while then you feel worse.lets just hope someone will do the same to him one day then he'll realise how it feels!I would say you can do a million times better than a jerk like him even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
My ex-girlfriend Annalee was such a control freak.
She thought after 5 years that I would marry her but I kept
telling her"We're not financally secure yet",We both need to
get good jobs and make a decent income"."We both attend sheltered workshop".She just wouldn't understand.It's like on her birthday,Valentine's Day,Our Anniversary,she would always ask me"Where's my ring"?And that pissed me off.I didn't want to get married yet.It was just too soon.Anybody have any advice? ;)
howard :-*
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Quoting:
My ex-girlfriend Annalee was such a control freak.
She thought after 5 years that I would marry her but I kept
telling her"We're not financally secure yet",We both need to
get good jobs and make a decent income"."We both attend sheltered workshop".She just wouldn't understand.It's like on her birthday,Valentine's Day,Our Anniversary,she would always ask me"Where's my ring"?And that pissed me off.I didn't want to get married yet.It was just too soon.Anybody have any advice? ;)
howard :-*
End Quote
Friend Howard: You should only get married when you're good and ready and you know in your heart and your soul that you want to spend the rest of the foreseeable future with the woman. Anything less is unacceptable...at least to me.
I think you made the right decision, seeing as she's an "ex" now ;)
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Quoting:
Friend Howard: You should only get married when you're good and ready and you know in your heart and your soul that you want to spend the rest of the foreseeable future with the woman. Anything less is unacceptable...at least to me.
I think you made the right decision, seeing as she's an "ex" now ;)
End Quote
Yeah,Sam.I dated a girl with Down Syndrome and I was smarter than her.She could never understand what marriage was cause she never experienced it before.She saw her Cousin Ralph married and she was jealous of him cause she doesn't have a ring.I wasn't jealous of nobody.Imagine if we were both married and we had kids,imagine what the baby would resemble? :o
howard :D
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
i just want to say thank you for all the responses, but i guess i let some old feelings blind me to what i have with Lauren, I got mixed up, but the past week here in ky, have made me realize that i do indeed love Lauren. Erin is just a crush, and she always will be. but thanks guys, and sorry for bringing this topic back , i just felt i should respond. and Ice Princess, break it off with this guy, hes a loser. Any one who lets the opinions of others influence his decisions on gfs is no good.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Actually, my official status is "kind of friends" with both girls. And fortunately, they're not very aware of each other.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
some of my best friends have been girls, and its hard not to fall for them, believe me when i say.... " :'( "
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
I remember one time,I was just in that mood to kiss her and I
got stimulated by her feminine smell that I almost wound up taking her panties off.Her Mother was always over-protective,So I really couldn't do much anyhow.
howard ;)
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
All of you guys, all I can say is just wait and love will come to you, but NEVER make do with second best because you think you'll never find anything better. I did that with my first boyfriend (now to be known as 'the wet fish'). We had little in common, he wasn't physically my type, and he thought I was stupid for being such an optimist all the time and dumped me after four months. Slowly I started noticing my friend Danyel who had always been right under my nose. At my 18th birthday party I was very stressed cos I had to look after my very drunk best friend and Dan calmed me down and I suddenly realised I was in love with him. We've been together for just over five months now and it's wonderful...so just wait!!! :-*
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
sounds like a teen loves story/movie ;)
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Not when you've heard his impression of Vincent Price it ain't! :o
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
lol
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Quoting:
We all have relationship probs. and this is where you can discuss em!
OK, I have got a problem. I love my girlfriend Lauren, but i have crossed paths with Erin, just so you know, i am not engaged, i was just trying to start a conversation, but hey im 17 i do things like that. But Erin is someone who i feel much closer to, and only because of a misunderstanding in early 2002 we never hit it off. So i met Lauren in March of this year. FORGIVE ME FOR MY LITTLE WHITE LIES. but any way, im coming to all of you guys for some advice. I am thinking about breaking up with Lauren, because well we have not connected like me and Erin, and well i just dont know what to do?
End Quote
Go with the one to whom you feel a connection. Looks and popularity all will pass. What matters is who you love and feel open with.
I nearly wanted to kill myself a few months ago. I lost my best friend, who I have loved for 5 years. You would be suprised how little everything else matters when you really love someone. Go for the one who you can fart around.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
thanks, i think ive made the right choice.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
love over lust right?
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Quoting:
thanks, i think ive made the right choice.
End Quote
What did you decide. I hope you picked the one who makes you happiest!
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
i decided to stay with Lauren, and yes she is the one who makes me happiest. Last night on New Years Eve we had a great time.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
I resolve for the new year to finally get myself another woman.I hope to accomplish that. :D ;D
Howard
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Good luck Howard. I'd like girlfriend too, but I'm kinda shy so that I have to work on that.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
I'm so glad that I'm 14 and won't get embroiled in all this love stuff for a few years yet...
After typing that, it is now two minutes closer. Aaaaaaargh!!!
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Quoting:
Good luck Howard. I'd like girlfriend too, but I'm kinda shy so that I have to work on that.
End Quote
Thanks Fred.I want to get a girl with all BIG features.
If ya know what I mean.... ;) ;D
Howard
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
the guy i like is single now... ;D except i don't think he's taking the breakup too well, especially since she dumped him right after xmas. :(
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
The good thing is now I'm ready to get back into a relationship after almost 5 years of dating and I've been broken up since October 2001.A girl who is normal. ;D
Howard
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Quoting:
Thanks Fred.I want to get a girl with all BIG features.
If ya know what I mean.... ;) ;D
Howard
End Quote
;D ;D ;D
Subject: Re: Girlfriends/Boyfriends/and Problems oh my!!
Quoting:
;D ;D ;D
End Quote
Me too.everything has to be BIG. :D
Howard