I got this in an email...check it out.  It is great!

http://www.wtv-zone.com/LadyBoheme/dearsanta.html

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Guido's Christmas party. It was Yoshi who spiked the punch with too much Pepsi. I can't help it if I drank 398 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like smelly.

I thought it was funny when I put Guido's thong on my head and danced the meringue on the chair while singing `Loving You'. I didn't mean to break Guido's Palm Pilot and don't know why Guido would sue me for grand larceny.

I don't remember calling Nate's wife a super cow---even though she looked like one with pink eye shadow and purple lipstick!

And when I threw up on Jessica's husband's wang, it was only because I ate too much of that candy cane.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Saturn through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a short dog and have me arrested for murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all grand and stupid. And I'm really not to blame for any of this weak stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
Kin (Really a nice Boy!)

P.S. It's only 938 bucks!

;D

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Mark's Christmas party. It was Luke who spiked the punch with too much Dr. Pepper. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Onions.

I thought it was funny when I put Jonathan's Shirt on my head and danced the Twist on the Table while singing `Macarena'. I didn't mean to break Mark's Computer and don't know why Mark would sue me for Burglary.

I don't remember calling Bill's wife a Cool Cow---even though she looked like one with Red eye shadow and Green lipstick!

And when I threw up on Zella's husband's Nose, it was only because I ate too much of that Spaghetti.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Car through my neighbor's Kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Warm Cat and have me arrested for Robbery!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Fresh and Funky. And I'm really not to blame for any of this Cool stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and Really yours,
Donald (Really a nice Boy!)

P.S. It's only 3 bucks!

It was Mad Libs but here goes:

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Bob's Christmas party. It was Mrs. Jones who spiked the punch with too much grape soda. I can't help it if I drank 8675309 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like stench.

I thought it was funny when I put Mick Jagger's slacks on my head and danced the Robot on the sofa while singing `In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida'. I didn't mean to break Bob's Atari and don't know why Bob would sue me for stealing a cookie from the cookie jar.

I don't remember calling Paul McCartney's wife a funky cow---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and purple lipstick!

And when I threw up on Jeanne Mason-Shaw's husband's ass, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my car through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a funkarific Dinosaur and have me arrested for being Michael Bolton!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all purple and high. And I'm really not to blame for any of this evil stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
Da Homey (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 666 bucks!

:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Lynda's Christmas party. It was Carolyn who spiked the punch with too much Coke. I can't help it if I drank 11 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Roast Lamb.

I thought it was funny when I put Fiona's Cap on my head and danced the Hokey-Pokey on the Hat Stand while singing `In The Flesh'. I didn't mean to break Lynda's Clock Radio and don't know why Lynda would sue me for Immoral use of sheep.

I don't remember calling Andrew's wife a Huge Goose---even though she looked like one with Green eye shadow and Pink lipstick!

And when I threw up on Xanthe's husband's Elbow, it was only because I ate too much of that Chicken.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Subaru through my neighbor's Laundry. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Microscopic PussCat and have me arrested for Speeding!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Insignificant and Beautiful. And I'm really not to blame for any of this Laughable stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and Quickly yours,
FussBudget (Really a nice Boy!)

P.S. It's only Four bucks!

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Mark's Christmas party. It was Karla who spiked the punch with too much Ensure. I can't help it if I drank 33 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like glade air freshener.

I thought it was funny when I put Kay's combat boots on my head and danced the Macarena on the bed sofa while singing `"Make Me Smile"'. I didn't mean to break Mark's can opener and don't know why Mark would sue me for grand larceny.

I don't remember calling Danny's wife a funky goat---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and orange lipstick!

And when I threw up on Elsetta's husband's thumb, it was only because I ate too much of that crumb cake.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my moped through my neighbor's sun porch. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a blue chicken and have me arrested for jaywalking!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all perky and frisky. And I'm really not to blame for any of this maloderous stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and terribly yours,
Zella (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 13 bucks!

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Langdon_Hughes's Christmas party. It was Kay. who spiked the punch with too much Irish whiskey. I can't help it if I drank 15 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vanilla.

I thought it was funny when I put Kin's hat on my head and danced the macarena on the sofa while singing `Louie, Louie'. I didn't mean to break Langdon_Hughes's blender and don't know why Langdon_Hughes would sue me for theft.

I don't remember calling Wicked Lester's wife a old horse---even though she looked like one with brown eye shadow and pink lipstick!

And when I threw up on Renee's husband's butt, it was only because I ate too much of that jello.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my car through my neighbor's living room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a fast dog and have me arrested for terroristic threatening!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all hateful and surprise. And I'm really not to blame for any of this jump stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
cs (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 500 bucks!

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Tony's Christmas party. It was Jay who spiked the punch with too much vodka. I can't help it if I drank 18 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like koolaid to me.

I thought it was funny when I put Joey's skirt on my head and danced the Train on the Sofa while singing "Why Can't We Be Friends". I didn't mean to break Tony's toaster and don't know why Tony would sue me for speeding.

I don't remember calling Malcolm's wife a funky goat---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and green lipstick!

And when I threw up on Cheryl's husband's elbow, it was only because I ate too much of that macaroni.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my 4Runner through my neighbor's roof. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a wise dog and have me arrested for embezzlement!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all rainy and poopy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this fun stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and delightfully yours,
Midas (Really a nice Boy!)

P.S. It's only 69 bucks!

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at SouthernSpitfire's Christmas party. It was Marci who spiked the punch with too much Jack Daniel's. I can't help it if I drank 9 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Avon Soft Musk.

I thought it was funny when I put Dagwood's panties on my head and danced the Electric Slide on the Hassock while singing `Disco Duck'. I didn't mean to break SouthernSpitfire's mp3 player and don't know why SouthernSpitfire would sue me for drunk driving.

I don't remember calling FussBudgetVanPelt's wife a total barn cat---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and orange lipstick!

And when I threw up on cs's husband's big toe, left foot, it was only because I ate too much of that mac n cheese.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my AMC Pacer through my neighbor's laundry room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a complete barn owl and have me arrested for theft under $500!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all distinctive and destructive. And I'm really not to blame for any of this utter stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and periodically yours,
Jonman (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 99 bucks!

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Gem's Christmas party. It was Emma who spiked the punch with too much bourbon. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like B.O..

I thought it was funny when I put Johnny's thong on my head and danced the tango on the bed while singing `sex me up!'. I didn't mean to break Gem's vibrator and don't know why Gem would sue me for sex.

I don't remember calling Henry's wife a sexy cow---even though she looked like one with pink eye shadow and blue lipstick!

And when I threw up on Alfred's husband's penis, it was only because I ate too much of that whipped cream.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my cadillac through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a ugly dog and have me arrested for prostitution!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all freaky and stupid. And I'm really not to blame for any of this dumb stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and wasted yours,
Luke (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 6 bucks!

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Osama's Christmas party. It was George who spiked the punch with too much gin. I can't help it if I drank four glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like odour.

I thought it was funny when I put Saddam's loincloth on my head and danced the tango on the milking stool while singing `La bamba'. I didn't mean to break Osama's cattle prod and don't know why Osama would sue me for fornication in a public place.

I don't remember calling Ghandi's wife a pissed goat---even though she looked like one with sky blue pink eye shadow and red spotty lipstick!

And when I threw up on Cherie Blair's husband's tonsils, it was only because I ate too much of that diced carrots.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my sleigh through my neighbour's attic. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbour to call me a totally ratarsed rat and have me arrested for incest!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all fun and happy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this smiley stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
philbo (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only thirteen bucks!

It looks like some people are 'cheating' and reading ahead before filling in the blanks.   :-/ Some of the letters are making sense. ;)


Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Gabble_Ratchet's Christmas party. It was Rice Cube who spiked the punch with too much coffee. I can't help it if I drank 42 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like dookie.

I thought it was funny when I put FussBudget's knickers on my head and danced the tango on the waterbed while singing `Enjoy the silence'. I didn't mean to break Gabble_Ratchet's DVD player and don't know why Gabble_Ratchet would sue me for plagiarism.

I don't remember calling Mike's wife a fluffy sheep---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and yellow lipstick!

And when I threw up on Zella's husband's armpit, it was only because I ate too much of that tacos.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my motor scooter through my neighbor's attic. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a wiggly squirrel and have me arrested for kidnapping!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all tall and goofy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this bright stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
XenaKat13 (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 22 bucks!

I just had to do this:  ;D

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at George W. Bush's Christmas party. It was Osama Bin Laden who spiked the punch with too much Nuclear fluid. I can't help it if I drank 69 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like body odour.

I thought it was funny when I put Saddam Hussein's Santa Hat on my head and danced the "The Dubya" on the VCR while singing `I Wanna... Sex You Up!'. I didn't mean to break George W. Bush's vibrator and don't know why George W. Bush would sue me for terrorism.

I don't remember calling Santa Claus's wife a happy pig---even though she looked like one with navy blue with pink polka dots eye shadow and army green with black stripes lipstick!

And when I threw up on Mrs. Claus's husband's penis, it was only because I ate too much of that Roast Iraqi.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Tanker through my neighbor's Toilet. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a sneeky politician and have me arrested for anti-americanism!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all sexy and bold. And I'm really not to blame for any of this awesome stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and wasted yours,
Adolf Hitler (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 270 bucks!

No more "...purple and high" crap. Here's one that makes sense:

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Dude.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Roger Waters's Christmas party. It was David Gilmour who spiked the punch with too much Pepsi. I can't help it if I drank 2 1/2 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Pepsi.

I thought it was funny when I put Barry White's drawers on my head and danced the Hokey Pokey on the bed while singing `Britney Spears' Cinderella'. I didn't mean to break Roger Waters's Razor and don't know why Roger Waters would sue me for Bad-mouthing Britney Spears.

I don't remember calling Barry Manilow's wife a green flying pig---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and red lipstick!

And when I threw up on Heather Mills-McCartney's husband's chest, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza and fruitcake.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Cadillac through my neighbor's attic. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a old dinosaur rocker and have me arrested for arsen!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all sad and lonely. And I'm really not to blame for any of this crappy stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and enigmatically yours,
Da Man (Really a nice Dude!)

P.S. It's only 1 bucks!