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Subject: Pet Songs
This just in: Scientists at CalSci have discovered that domestic animals possess a rudimentary language. Dr. Meringue, heading the research project studying animal communication, says "It is only their lack of opposable thumbs and vocal cords that prevent humans from understanding their pets' 'language'".
The team has 'decoded' primitive chants and song fragments from domestic cats. Here are a few of their findings:
The Turkey Song
Turkey tastes good to me
Turkey should always be
On my plate, every day
Turkey, turkey, turkey!
The Fish Song
Put the fish, fish, fish
On my dish, dish, dish,
Oh I wish, wish, wish
You would hurry, hurry, hurry
Dr. Meringue suggests this next selection is derived from the song Sweet Betsy from Pike... a remarkable example of cross-species borrowing
The Water Song
Oh, give me some water or I will be mad
I'll claw up your sofa and you will be sad
I'll climb up your curtain and pee in your shoe
If you don't give me water such bad things I'll do.
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
I understand my cats perfectly. They usually say, "FEED ME NOW!!!!" or "I want attention, NOW!" One of my favorites is, "I didn't do that."
Cat
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
When you're putting a food they like in their bowl, standing at the counter, why do they continue to "sing" at you until the bowl is delivered?
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
I am really terrible because I hold the dish up until they "sing" some more.
Cat
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
You are bad, Cat http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/teufel/teufel067.gif
Another problem peculiar to cats, in my experience, is that as soon as you do something they like more than once you're sunk. For instance, if you feed them food they like at, say, five a.m., you will never be able to sleep in ever again because they will be nagging and pestering you at 4:59 in the morning forever after.
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
That is why I give my cats "the can" in the evening. They have dry food all day but they LOVE the can. As I am bringing my dinner plate back into the kitchen after eating, one of my cats is underfoot "singing" to me at the top of her lungs.
Cat
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
I had a Siamese who sang all the time... when he went potty, when he woke up, when he saw a bird. I adopted him as an adult, and he was huge and beautiful. Mocha coat with a sable cowl. Caesar was as big as a rottweiler and fearless. Not being used to a Siamese, I became annoyed by the chronic noise and one day I told him to shut up and... he moved on me. As if to say, "Okay, buddy. Let's have it out now." Really weird and a little spooky.
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Siamese are VERY vocal.
Cat
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
... and cranky. I was never able to develop a rapport with that one. Adopting an adult cat can be difficult. My sister adopted three rescued cats and they're adapting wonderfully... cept for that one who piddles on the sofa every now and again.
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
We are "cat sitting" for my honey's daughter cat. He is 9 years old and really a nice cat but he doesn't get along with the old cat, who is almost 17. (She is "Alpha Kitty" and wants him to know it.) We were talking today about "offically" adopting him. His daughter doesn't seem to be too interested in the cat. I never know to tell people that we have 2 cats or 3. (That is how I got my name. lol)
Cat
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
My cat is so dense now, he only sings gibberish. :-/
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Get that Thing
What is that thing
Under the cover?
I HAVE TO GET THAT THING
There is mom
She's with her lover
I HAVE TO GET THAT THING
Could be a bird
Perhaps a mousy
I HAVE TO GET THAT THING
Even though
I'll get a dousing
I HAVE TO GET THAT THING
Oh yeah. That's just the most recent. And you're right. I never feed my cats at the same time two days in a row because then they think they've got the plan all figured out and thus can take the whole household over.
Fortunately they are excellent penguin protection.
(Oh, here's Pongo now... apparently sending an important fax. Nice.)
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Late Night Closet
Oh my god, Oh my god,
There is something in the closet!
It is huge It is broad
There is something in the closet!
Holy cow Look right now
There is something in the closet!
Gonna kill us, don't know how
There is something in the closet!
Or there was a second ago...
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Whats up with newspapers and other paper related tasks? I think my cats are even computer savvy cause when I read the paper online they try to walk across the keyboard. ???
Lets just keep telling (i.e. fooling) ourselves that their behavior is "endearing" and everything will be OK.
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
My daughter thinks our cat is the coolest creature on the planet. Mostly because I've told her he is tri-lingual.
In addition to the ordinary cat noises, ( mew, meow, ooww, rowr) he can speak English and "dog".
Every morning he follows me and my daughter around using what little English he has: Me! Me! Now? Me Now? Now!! Now! Mama? ME NOW!!! Now!! Me!! NOW!! NOW!! NOW!!! MEEEEE! Me now! ---and so on till he's been fed. He will also do the same to my daughter after we get in after school because it's her job to keep his water dish filled.
When he's playing, he can make a sound that is a little like the bark of a small dog: "RRRRwwwoof? Yip! AAAARRRRTT?" My daughter didn't believe those were dog noises, until one day we stopped to play with a neighbors Chihuahua mix. The dog made the same noises. ;)
And yes, he is half Siamese. ;)
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
This song is best chanted to the opening bars of the Addams Family theme song:
I Want to Go Out Song
I want to go out,
I want to go out, want to go out, want to go out
Open the door
Open the door, open the door, open the door
I think I'll stand here
Think I'll stand here, think I'll stand here, think I'll stand here
I don't care if you're cold
Don't care if you're cold, care if you're cold, care if you're cold
I guess I'll stay in
Guess I'll stay in, guess I'll stay in, guess I'll stay in
I want to go out
Want to go out, want to go out, want to go out
(repetas ad infinitum)
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
I had a cat that was part siamese. She had siamese coloring on her body and the most beautiful blue eyes. Her legs and tail were calico. Very vocal and cross eyed. I loved that cat.
I had an american shorthair that ran the house from the minute she walked in at 6 weeks old. She didn't like other cats, but got along great with dogs. Go figure.
My boss has a cat that says her name when it is time for dinner or he needs a little love. Instead of meow it is Mary as clear as a bell.
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
The other adult cat I adopted, way back when, was named Mittens. She didn't get along with the family's children.
As soon as I brought her home she bee lined to an inaccessible area behind the kitchen sink. Tried to move her out with a broom, squirt gun, you name it. Nothing worked. Stayed there for three days. Put food out for her but she didn't touch it. Finally bought a primo bag of catnip and put it out. That brought her out. She sniffed it, looked at me (I was a 'safe' distance away), sniffed it again and then proceeded to empty her bladder on it.
It was a defining moment. The only cute or endearing thing about her was the dance she'd do when I whistled the Wilkerson shave cream song.
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
My 17 year old cat has this croched ball (that my mother made) that she plays with and carries it around. She "yowls" when she is playing with it so we think it is her "kill." We don't mind her "killing" it and bring it to us as a gift. It is only if she brought us stuff with faces that we would have problems with. They are all indoor cats so we don't have to worry too much about that.
Cat
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Quoting:
Whats up with newspapers and other paper related tasks? I think my cats are even computer savvy cause when I read the paper online they try to walk across the keyboard. ???
Lets just keep telling (i.e. fooling) ourselves that their behavior is "endearing" and everything will be OK.
End Quote
Crazy Person
Pay
attention to
Me me me me me
I
am all you should
See see see see see
What
could possibly
Be be be be be
More
Important than
Me me me me me
And oh, the outside song! Absolutely! Mine are indoor only, what with Pongo's leap from the second-floor balcony and ensuing absence for four days. (After combing the entire neighborhood, breaking into apartment basements, risking death by trespassing in Armenian's garages, he appeared underneath the balcony, yowling, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! I'M HUNGRY!" Freak.)
They're both orange tabbies.
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Quoting:
Crazy Person
Pay
attention to
Me me me me me
I
am all you should
See see see see see
What
could possibly
Be be be be be
More
Important than
Me me me me me
End Quote
So true, so true. Except when you want attention from them. Then they don't want anything to do with you.
Cat
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
The last time I looked Guiness had some incredible records for cats traveling long distances to find their owners. We're talking hundreds of miles.
And yeah, when this one doesn't want to be touched you don't touch her. At least she's too old to be having those "midnight crazies" anymore.
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Quoting:
At least she's too old to be having those "midnight crazies" anymore.
End Quote
You would think that 17 would be too old but I hear her yowling every night.
Cat
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Is she yowling, or is she flying from one end of the room to the other, leaping onto the back of the couch, hugging a cushion and wiggling her butt with that wild look in her eye before launching on another tear...?
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Ok, you got me there. But the baby does that. She is about a year and a half. She likes to go after the other two and jump over them.
Cat
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Quoting:
This song is best chanted to the opening bars of the Addams Family theme song:
I Want to Go Out Song
I want to go out,
I want to go out, want to go out, want to go out
Open the door
Open the door, open the door, open the door
I think I'll stand here
Think I'll stand here, think I'll stand here, think I'll stand here
I don't care if you're cold
Don't care if you're cold, care if you're cold, care if you're cold
I guess I'll stay in
Guess I'll stay in, guess I'll stay in, guess I'll stay in
I want to go out
Want to go out, want to go out, want to go out
(repetas ad infinitum)
End Quote
My indoor/outdoor cat sings that one on a daily basis.
Here's some others:
TOO MUCH CATNIP
"Ack!" ZOOM! CRASH! - TOO Much Catnip
Zoom! CRASH! ZOOM! - TOO Much Catnip
I don't know why
I am so high
Oh Me-Ow My-----ow!
"Ack!" ZOOM! CRASH! - TOO Much Catnip
Zoom! CRASH! ZOOM! - TOO Much Catnip
I Pooped In The Litterbox by Moby
(I only have one verse - sang to "We Are All Made of Stars")
Just finished playing
And I ate some Pounce
And when I'm done pooping
I have to announce
Chorus:
Hey everybody!
I pooped in the litterbox
And it really smells now
Much worse than your dirty socks
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
I actually solved the "midnight crazies"! (No, I didn't starve them into weakness... that's how I manage my boyfriends.) Resign yourself to sleeping in a cold room and open the window. My cats were so cold that they gave up running around and came to huddle together on the comforter.
And Allen's mad that none of his songs have been included. So I submit this, simple as it is.
I Love You
I love you I love you I love you
I loooooooove you
I love you I love you I love you
I loooooooove you
I love you I love you I love you
I loooooooove you
By the way
Is that liver you're eating?
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
How about:
I love plants. Any kind of plant.
I don't care if they are small, big,
thin or thick.
I don't even care if they make me
sick.
Give me a plant. Any kind of plant.
I like to chew on leaves. It is better
than fleas.
Who cares if I upheaves.
Cat
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Standing ovations for DJ and CatV!!!!! ("who cares if I upheaves". Hi-friggin-larious.)
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Quoting:
How about:
I love plants. Any kind of plant.
I don't care if they are small, big,
thin or thick.
I don't even care if they make me
sick.
Give me a plant. Any kind of plant.
I like to chew on leaves. It is better
than fleas.
Who cares if I upheaves.
Cat
End Quote
I buy cactiihttp://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/cool/cool014.gif
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Quoting:
...At least she's too old to be having those "midnight crazies" anymore.
End Quote
Don't be silly. Screaming, charging, slam-your-head-into-the-wall catfits don't happen at midnight.
They happen at exactly 3:47 am. That way they wake you up, and just about the time you drift back to sleep, the alarm goes off.
And if you're really, really tired, it's time to play "Wildebeasts Stampeding Across The Serengeti". And you are the Serengeti.
Trust me on this. Been there. Done that.
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Quoting:
Don't be silly. Screaming, charging, slam-your-head-into-the-wall catfits don't happen at midnight.
They happen at exactly 3:47 am. That way they wake you up, and just about the time you drift back to sleep, the alarm goes off.
And if you're really, really tired, it's time to play "Wildebeasts Stampeding Across The Serengeti". And you are the Serengeti.
Trust me on this. Been there. Done that.
End Quote
Heeheehee... (everyone's looking at me and wondering why I'm giggling... got to quit reading these at work 8))
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Quoting:
Standing ovations for DJ and CatV!!!!! ("who cares if I upheaves". Hi-friggin-larious.)
End Quote
Thanks, lang. My cat that sings the "Litterbox" tune is actually named Moby. He's really skittish towards me. Here's one of his other songs (To "Next Is The E"):
Get Away From Me (Leave Me Alone)
Getawaygetawaygetawaygetaway
Getawaygetawaygetawaygetaway
Getawaygetawaygetawaygetaway
Getawaygetawaygetawayfrom me-
(Piano drop)
Getawayfrom me-
No, No, No, No (repeat 8 times)
Bridge (repeat 4 times):
Leave Me Alone
I'm getting mad
Quit chasing me
I'm outta breath
Getawaygetawaygetawaygetaway
Getawaygetawayleavemealeavemealone
Leavemealeavemealonegetawaygetaway
Getawaygetawaygetawayfrom me-
Oh yeah, he sang CatWoman's Plant song the other day... ::)
Subject: Re: Pet Songs
Quoting:
Don't be silly. Screaming, charging, slam-your-head-into-the-wall catfits don't happen at midnight.
They happen at exactly 3:47 am. That way they wake you up, and just about the time you drift back to sleep, the alarm goes off.
And if you're really, really tired, it's time to play "Wildebeasts Stampeding Across The Serengeti". And you are the Serengeti.
Trust me on this. Been there. Done that.
End Quote
My cat (Buddha, by the way), used to do a 3:47 thing, too. But I think it was cause she thought I should be up, too. So she played "Pop the Rivets" on the couch. Started out as a nice couch which, to my male eyes, was covered in a fetching offwhite burlap-y kind of material. Within a year there were gapping holes on each arm and it was studded with claw husks. And it got fuzzy, like a cashmere sweater.
I always figured it was an anger-management problem on her part. She was p-o'ed that I wasn't awake with her so she did the one thing she knew would be most likely to wake me up in a storm (Lord I hated that sound... it's like hearing someone run a steel nail across your car door)