Might as well ;)

I'll start:  You know you're a redneck if you're too drunk to fish.

Oh oh...we gonna tick off the whole stat of Alabama now...

You know your a redneck you see a sign that says 'say no to crack' and you pull your pants up

You know you're a redneck when you live in a home that's mobile but have ten cars that are not ::)

How can you tell the difference between a redneck woman and a catfish?

Close...

One of them has really scaly skin, whiskers, big bug eyes, and smells really bad...

The other one is a fish

I'm a West Virginian and should know a lot of these!  (And since southernspitfire is from Arkansas, she should know a lot of these, too!)

You know you're a redneck if you go to a family reunion to meet members of the opposite sex.

You know you're a redneck if you have people with shotguns in your wedding photos.

You know you're a redneck if people stop by your house mistaking it for a yard sale.

You know you're a redneck if you have a beer can collection

You know you're a redneck if you walk your child to school because both of you are in the same grade.

You know your a redneck if you think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive

On a visit to the deep south once, I met a man who was really hospitable yet I wondered why, when introducing me to his wife and mother....I only saw ONE woman standing there :o

You know you're a redneck if they ask for identification and you show them your belt buckle.

YOu know you're a redneck when you have a payment plan set up with the bail bondsman

you know you're a redneck when you think "log on" means to add more wood to the fire

You know you're a redneck is your wife or mother doesn't have to take the marlboro out of her mouth before telling the cops to kiss her butt

Here are a couple that could offend southernspitfire:

You know you're a redneck if you've ever financed a tattoo.

You know you're a redneck if you wear a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

You might be a redneck if...

You think the stock market has a fence around it.
You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.

Yo know you're a redneck if your family tree does not fork

You know you're a redneck if the directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."

YOu know you're a redneck if you have a collection of commemorative NASCAR plates in your china cabinet

You know you're a redneck if the biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

Ooooh...half the population of West Virginia is looking for you for that one! :D

You know you're a redneck if the police show up at your door- and you're not surprised.

You know you're a redneck if you've ever asked the preacher, "How's it hangin'?"

You know you're a redneck if you watch NASCAR for the drama

You know you're a redneck if your two-year-old has more teeth than you do.

You know you're a redneck if you go christmas shopping at yard sales

A couple of rednecks were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes.  Immediately, one of the rednecks threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of a cave. The Game Warden was hot on his heels.

After about a half mile, the redneck stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, and the Game Warden finally caught up to him.

"Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped.

With that, the man pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

"Yes, sir," replied the redneck, "but my friend back there, well, he don't have one."

You're a redneck if your family car has cinder blocks under it.

What's the difference between a Northern Fairy Tale and a Redneck Fairy Tale?

A Northern Fairy Tale starts "Once upon a time..." and a Redneck Fairy Tale starts "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t!"

You know you're a redneck if you mow your lawn and find a car!

you know your a redneck when your family tree is a straight line

You know you're a redneck if you missed fifth-grade graduation because you had jury duty.