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Subject: Funny Stuff Here
Saw this today and thought it may get a few smiles ;)
1. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
2. If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
3. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
4. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
5. If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
6. And whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?
7. If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him....Is he still wrong?
8. If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide....is it considered a hostage situation?
9. Is there another word for synonym?
10. Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
11. Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
12. What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?
14. Would a wingless fly be called a walk?
15. Is a shelless turtle homeless or just naked?
16. Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny?
17. Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
18. Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
19. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
20. What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
:D :) :D
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
Ah, RnRF...that's great! Definitely made me smile! ;D
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
Thanks!!! :D :D :D
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
funny!
Quoting:. If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him....Is he still wrong?
End Quote
Simple answer, you bet! :P LOL
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
Good job Rock! ;D
But I can think of some more:
Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
Why aren't there Eastern omlettes? And why is Denver so special that they have their own omlette?
Why can't the make airplanes out of the metal that protects the black boxes?
You heard of Big Berthas? Are there any Little Berthas?
Why is it called "Saturday Night Live" when 2/3 of it is shown on Sunday morning?
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
Quoting:
Why is it called "Saturday Night Live" when 2/3 of it is shown on Sunday morning?
End Quote
;D
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
Those are good, RnR. I'm going to have to get some for myself sometime, cause I know where they all are, but I can't find them.
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
Search for "Steven Wright"
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
Why is dyslexia so hard to spell?
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
;D ;D ;D
Why do you drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is a package sent by ship called cargo, but a package sent by car is called a shipment?
;D ;D ;D
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
Quoting:
Why is a package sent by ship called cargo, but a package sent by car is called a shipment?
End Quote
:D and a package sent by pack mule is called late?
Phil
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
These are great! Thanks for the laughs!
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
Quoting:Posted by: mrgazpacho Posted on: 07/03/02 at 1:13am
Search for "Steven Wright"
End Quote
Also, George Carlin & Gallagher.
At least half of these were new to me, RnR, thanx!
To borrow form the aforementioned comedians...
Why do they call them "apartments" when they're all stuck together?
Why do they call them "buildings" when they're already done buliding them? They oughta be called "builts".
And my favorite: If PRO is the opposite of CON, then CONGRESS must be the opposite of PROGRESS.
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
Doesn't the word abbreviation kinda defeat the purpose?
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
Glad you all liked them! Thanks for making me laugh as well ;)
Subject: Re: Funny Stuff Here
Quoting:
And my favorite: If PRO is the opposite of CON, then CONGRESS must be the opposite of PROGRESS.
End Quote
Isn't that kind of stating the obvious?
;-)
Phil