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Subject: Alternative Sayings
I'm bored, so I just thought of something. How about some funny alternative endings to famous cliches and sayings. Here are some examples:
If life gives you lemons, that should give you a hint as to how it sucks.
A stitch in time saves someone's *ss.
If you can't stand the heat, sit down.
Keep America beautiful, eat a pigeon.
You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. And if you try you are very gross.
Can you do better? ;)
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen
When the going gets tough...beat the hell out of it
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
A fool and his money ... invest in Enron.
Red sky at night, sailor's delight; red sky in morning ... sailor hung over again.
Too many cooks ... have TV shows.
Here's a couple I saw somewhere:
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step - but it sure helps if that step is on to a 747.
Before you criticise a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you diss him, you'll be a mile away *and* have his shoes.
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
The last one was LOL!
The first two are the original sayings and I wanted made up ones. But I'll give you another chance. ;)
BTW: He who hesitates gets his butt kicked by a mob. ;)
Quoting:
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen
When the going gets tough...beat the hell out of it
End Quote
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
Quoting:
The last one was LOL!
The first two are the original sayings and I wanted made up ones. But I'll give you another chance. ;)
BTW: He who hesitates gets his butt kicked by a mob. ;)
End Quote
thank you JC..I knew the first two were not original...but the last one was all me.....I came up with that one a few years ago..and if you really tear it down..it makes alot of sense...copyrighted,,,by cricket!!!!
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
One for horse-breeders everywhere:
A foal and his mummy are easily parted
Too many cocks spoil the brothel
A man who is tired of Paris, is tired of the French
Phil
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
When the going gets tough, that tough, we're going....
FB ;D
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
Here's mine:
If at first you don't succeed, fuggedaboudit!
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
Quoting:
Here's mine:
If at first you don't succeed, fuggedaboudit!
End Quote
If at first you don't succeed, fussbudgetvanpelt! ;D
The first step to failure is trying...
Tarzan Boy
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
Quoting:
The first step to failure is trying...
End Quote
:-)
The road to Hell is paved with McDonalds styrofoam boxes
Phil
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
Well, you know what they say about people with three first names for a name - um, I don't know; what do they say about them?
Tarzan Boy
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
Quoting:
Well, you know what they say about people with three first names for a name - um, I don't know; what do they say about them?
Tarzan Boy
End Quote
Three first names for a name? Let's see who springs to mind:
Lee Harvey Oswald
James Earl Ray
Phil Arthur Alexander
:o :o :o
Oh my gahd! I'm gonna have to assassinate someone
But seriously, folks - not all people with three first names for a name are assassins - here speaks the voice of reason: http://mcraeclan.com/Graeme/Language/WhyAssassinsAreKnownByThreeNames.htm
Phil
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
Quoting:
Three first names for a name?
Phil Arthur AlexanderEnd Quote
Oh my god ? Phil Alexander - the Aussie 70's Davis Cup Tennis Star ?
Who would have believed it - he seemed such a nice guy.... ::)
FB ;D
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
A bird in the hand usually leaves a mess.
Doing unto others as you would have them do unto you can lead to charges of sexual harassment.
He who laughs loudest should also run fastest.
MissInformation
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Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
those who live in glass houses...should dress in the basement.
be careful what you wish for...you might get a million dollars...oh wait...wish all you want.
a penny saved is not that much.
give a man fish and he'll eat for a day. teach a man to fish and he'll rob your stream.
early to bed, early to rise makes a man's life incredibly dull.
eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
Quoting:
Before you criticise a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you diss him, you'll be a mile away *and* have his shoes.
End Quote
LMFAO!!
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
I've always loved that one.
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
Laugh and the world laughs with you....
Fart...and you stand alone!!!! 8) 8) 8)
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
Quoting:
Oh my god ? Phil Alexander - the Aussie 70's Davis Cup Tennis Star ?End Quote
Actually, I think you have conflated Phil Edmonson and John Alexander...
Anyway:
You never miss the water 'til the well runs dry ... because you can get smashed *really* quickly on neat scotch.
Let sleeping dogs lie - unless they're testifying against you
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
Quoting:
Actually, I think you have conflated Phil Edmonson and John Alexander...
End Quote
I was just joshin' cos' I was boredddddddd !
How about :
Nothing succeeds like a toothless budgie .... ???
FB ;D
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
Smile and the world smiles with you,growl and you get better service or cry and you have to blow your nose.
A man who marries for money better be nice to his wife.
He who laughs last doesn't get the joke.
One of my favorite sayings from work is 'the only man who got all of his work done by friday was Robinson Crusoe'
Subject: Re: Alternative Sayings
All those who drink are not poets....some of us drink because we're not poets-Dudley Moore in "Arthur"-1981. Personally I Love writing poetry....and of course (Yet sometimes sadly) drinking...