Since Kat doesn't have the book, "New Years' Resolutions for the Dog", I was just thinking about a few resolutions they could have used:
I will not make a sad, guilt-ridden face after I have pooped on the shag carpeting.
I will not chase any cats even after they flip me "The Claw".
I will learn not to beg in front of the dining table for scraps and bones, unless they resemble chew toys.
I will learn to tell the difference between the mailman and a giant walking blueberry popsicle.
I will not slobber on the newspaper when I fetch it, for it maybe used as a lethal weapon on my butt.
I will not whine incessantly when master rubs me down. Instead I will just grin in ecstacy.
I will not jump over gates even though the shortness of height is a huge temptation.

What do you think? ;)

Good!
And:
I will not lick my private parts or pass gas while my owner  has company over.
I will keep my nose out of guests crotches.
I will not eat the entire contents of my child's Easter Basket and then puke on the carpet.

These are funny,TM. LOL.

Quoting:
Good!
And:
I will not lick my private parts or pass gas while my owner  has company over.
I will keep my nose out of guests crotches.
I will not eat the entire contents of my child's Easter Basket and then puke on the carpet.


End Quote

All of these are funny. I don't know where you get them. Is there a comprehensive list of these somewhere, or something?

I don't know if there is a book on New Years' Resolutions for a Dog. I just made these up. But Kat is still asking for orders to "New Years' Resolutions for a Cat".

Quoting:
All of these are funny. I don't know where you get them. Is there a comprehensive list of these somewhere, or something?
End Quote

Thanks for the information, JC. I knew that you would have been more likely to make these up, seeing as a similar subject already existed. I guess you were inspired by those and decided to make them up on the lines of the dog.

Of course, "shag carpeting" probably means something totally different over in the states than it does here :o. Naughty, Naughty me.

Well, its been a while since I had a dog, but I will add one! "I will not hump my master's leg in public!"

Peace,Cat Lover

How about:

When my human takes me to the office, I will not demand to play catch when he/she is on the phone.

I will not bark furiously at friends, and keep silent when suspicious-looking people show up.

The cat ones I have came to me in an e-mail; of the "forwarded jokes" type.

I like the dog ones, too.  My boss brings his dog in three days a week and I had a dog when I was little.