Quoting:
Jumbo shrimp
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One of my faves also.

Also:

Stop Moving

Quoting:
Microsoft Works
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:-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-)

Quoting:
french deodorant (I'll probably get yelled at for this one ;D)
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I'll raise that one to "Russian deodorant" - if you've ever been on a bus in Odessa, when it's nice and hot....

Not a true oxymoron, but it's kind of relevant:
I was driving along the Marylebone Road (to anybody who doesn't know London, that means crawling at just above walking pace if you're lucky), when I saw a signpost by the road saying "No stopping at any time" - next to the traffic lights

Phil

PS back on topic: "Live Jazz"?

Quoting:

Country Music

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Ha !  :)

Also - Rap Music

Quoting:
(Stolen from oxymoronlist.com, too lazy to think of my own :))

Microsoft Works

Honest Politician

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Love these Jessica! And now I've been on the website here are some good ones!:

On-time flight (Lol - doesn't exist!)
Accurate estimate
Bitter Sweet
Cafeteria food
Post modern
Pretty ugly
Dim light
Definitly maybe (Now this one's stolen from my Oasis album title!)
Educated guess
Fairly obvious
Gigantic microorganism
Good beating
One choice
Going nowhere
Doing Nothing
Sweet and sour
Hurry Up and wait ( I *think* you can class this as one)
Monopoly (Think about the joint preffix's if you don't get this one)
Modern History
My favourite mistake/waste of time (The songs are coming to me now!)
Sound of silence
Sweet and Tender Hooligan
New and Improved

:)

Quoting:



one specifically made up by my family:

clean bedroom
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Your family may have made up the phrase, but anyone with kids has seen it in action! ;D ;D ;D ("But mommy, my room is clean!  The puzzles are supposed to be all mixed up all over the place.  That's why they are called puzzles!"  ::) :P ::) )

Quoting:


Your family may have made up the phrase, but anyone with kids has seen it in action! ;D ;D ;D ("But mommy, my room is clean!  The puzzles are supposed to be all mixed up all over the place.  That's why they are called puzzles!"  ::) :P ::) )
End Quote

Aunt: Is your room clean?
Me: Yes. (sighs)
Aunt: Is everything off of the floor?
M: No
A: Did you vacuum?
M: No
A:  What did you do?
M: I cleaned my room!!! Now can I go out?
A: Not until your room is claen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M: It is, Go look.


The conversation ends with a fight and me NOT going out. :(

Quoting:



Aunt: Is your room clean?
Me: Yes. (sighs)
Aunt: Is everything off of the floor?
M: No
A: Did you vacuum?
M: No
A:  What did you do?
M: I cleaned my room!!! Now can I go out?
A: Not until your room is claen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M: It is, Go look.


The conversation ends with a fight and me NOT going out. :(
End Quote

Try pointing in your room and saying, "See! No pornography anywhere..."

Kryllith

Quoting:

Try pointing in your room and saying, "See! No pornography anywhere..."

Kryllith
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God help me- your crack my @ss up, Kryllith!!!! ;D

Quoting:

Try pointing in your room and saying, "See! No pornography anywhere..."

Kryllith
End Quote

Lol
Thank you! But that will probably getting into more trouble.

Quoting:

God help me- your crack my @ss up, Kryllith!!!! ;D
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Quoting:
Hey, Ban, don't all @sses have cracks anyway?  ;)
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...some being wiser than others... or was that a wise-@ss crack?

;-)

Phil
PS Should we start a worst puns thread?