Here, from government experts, are 10 warning signs that the prostitute you've picked up is a sinister space babe:

1. Looks too good to be true -- If that curvy cutie working the street corner is a dead ringer for Catherine Zeta-Jones, odds are the gorgeous star isn't moonlighting. A shape-shifting ET has probably adopted the form of your dream girl.

2. Out-of-date lingo -- Alien prostitutes try to fit in by using streetwalker slang -- but often use outdated terms. A hooker who sees a police car and whispers, "Cheese it, the fuzz!" likely hails from deep space.

3. Evasive about identity and origins -- Few gals in "the life" are forthcoming about their full names. But a scarlet woman who refuses even to divulge where she comes from -- vaguely describing her birthplace as "the Midwest" or "overseas" -- could be an ET.

4. Odd, hard-to-place accent. "They have trouble pronouncing the letter 'R,' " Manling reveals.

5. Unusually petite -- The average alien hooker stands roughly 5 feet tall, but may attempt to disguise her size with ridiculously high heels.

6. Sex was "unbelievable." If the encounter was "everything you've always fantasized about," chances are the memory was implanted by ETs.

7. Missing time -- If you paid for an hour with a hooker, but your watch indicates four hours have gone by, this suggests part of your memory of the encounter has been erased.

8. Seems telepathic -- A fallen woman who finishes your sentences or slips up and mentions your real name when you've given her a bogus one, is probably invading your thoughts -- and our planet.

9. Over-perfumed -- Hookers from outer space often try to mask their peculiar ET body odor.

10. Squeamish about spanking -- Terrestrial prostitutes are willing to perform virtually every sexual act if the money is right. But ETs don't like having their butts touched.

Link: http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/aliens/61245

:)


4. Odd, hard-to-place accent. "They have trouble pronouncing the letter 'R,' " Manling reveals.

Also uncertain about anatomy, especially at the lower end of the humerus. "They don't know their 'R's from their elbows", he adds

During sex, a killer parasite comes out of her mouth, goes down your throat, and later pops out of your stomach just like in Alien!  ::)  ;D

speaking for the lonely men on these boards, we want to thank you GW for showing us those valuable signs...bloody aliens, trying to steal our seeds!

When you tell her you want to do it doggy style, and she morphs into a Cocker Spaniel.

Here is something if you're really bored.

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying
at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you
can't.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and
make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right
hand. Your foot will change direction.

Golly GWB, why all the interest in hookers?  Just asking  ;)  ;)

Golly GWB, why all the interest in hookers?  Just asking


No interest here.  ;)

No interest here.  ;)


Funny, it is your thread  ;)  ;)

How do you tell?


1.If she has the need to phone home. ;D




Howard

Here is something if you're really bored.

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying
at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you
can't.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and
make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right
hand. Your foot will change direction.



Anti - clockwise with the foot GW lol

Here is something if you're really bored.

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying
at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you
can't.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and
make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right
hand. Your foot will change direction.


Your right it is hard to do.  My foot changes direction every time.

I must be wierd then.. because whn i turn my foot clockwise and draw a six i can do it.. but when i turn my foot anti-clockwise and do a 6 it changes direction.

Hmm... (gives it a try)

Alcoholica - do you draw your 6s the other way round?  (Starting in the middle and going round clockwise, that is)

Silly what one does at 5am when one really should be going to catch a plane, but here's a way to beat the effect: if you concentrate on the hand drawing the six, then the foot'll match it - but we've all drawn innumerable 6s, so leave your hand to do the drawing and concentrate on the foot: does it even falter?  Took a couple of goes, though.

I'd rather have a prostitute that is an extraterrestrial than one with an extra testicle.  ;D

I wrote a parody about a errr.. extra testicled prostitue.. http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/elviscostello5.shtml

Yeah philbo i do my sixes from the middle.. however if your catching a plane you won't read this for some time  :P