Okay, here goes...this what Simpsons nerds such as myself and my friends do in our spare time...spout out a Simpsons' quote and others have to guess the character who said it (name the episode if you're a real keener!)

Here's an easy one to start:

"Paddlin the school canoe, oh you better bet that's a paddlin!"

"i am so smart. i am so smart. S, M, R, T. i mean S, M, A, R, T"...my local radio station uses that as a sound byte for a call-in trivia contest.

How about...

"Hey, that guy's guitar is talking to me"..."Yeah, my shoes are talking to me!"

Okay, so I'll answer my own post...

"I've never heard 'embiggins' until I moved to Springfield"
"I don't understand why...it's a perfectly cromulent word."

when Homer hears on the news that his shares of stock in the power plant have plunged 75 points, he gets that worried sound in his voice and says ... " I hope plunged means up and 75 means 200"  I love that one ;D

okily dokely ;D



Howard

"stupid sexy Flanders"

Oh Yes Smithers... ;D



Howard

"Ahh, my eye, I'm not supposed to get pudding in it"

"Now I'm free to wallow in my on crepulence"
"I'm sorry to hear about your news...so how many eggs did it lay in your brain?"
"I don't know sir...frankly one is too many!"

"Smithers?"
"Yes, Mr. Burns?"
"Have the Rolling Stones killed!"
"But sir..."
"Do as I say!"

;D

"To start, press any key. Where's the any key?" ;D

Smithers: "I...Love you, sir"
Burns: "Oh, thanks for making my last few moments on Earth awkward"
Smithers: "Oh, who am i kidding, the boathouse was the time"

OJ: I didn't kill Nicole

OJ: I didn't kill Nicole


;D

"laughing time is over"- Ranier Wolfcastle

Lionel Hutz:  Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Read below:

"This is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, The NeverEnding Story." - Lionel Hutz

Ummm...

Oh yeah, one of my Apu faves:

"I can't believe you don't shut-up!"

Oh, and Marge:
"Homer, you know I'm always up for a triple-X throwdown."

"I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer!"

"Can't sleep, clown will eat me, can't sleep clown will eat me!"

;D

"I'm a torso!"

"My doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger out of there!"

"My cat's breath smells like cat food!"

"I beat the smart kids!  I beat the smart kids!  Oh, I bent my Wookie!"

"I'm a torso!"

"My doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger out of there!"

"My cat's breath smells like cat food!"

"I beat the smart kids!  I beat the smart kids!  Oh, I bent my Wookie!"


Ralph Wiggums is funny!

"You choo-choo choose me!"

"When the doctor said I didn't have worms anymore, that was the happiest day of my life!"

"Me fail Englsh? That's unpossible!"

Bart: "I thought we could settle this in a civilized manner, but instead, I just ripperd the head of Mr. Hunny-Bunny
Lisa: But Mr. Hunny-Bunny was your beloved childhood toy.
Bart: Ahh, Mr. Hunny-Bunny!!!!

Toke as needed .. Caution: objects may appear more edible than actually are ..

Marge I just realized i'm the ow in the word noooww .. and if u tell any one ...

From "Klown Without Pity"

Homer:  Did you walk the dog?
Krusty Doll:  Yeah, he buried me a couple times...
Homer: Yeah, dogs like to bury old junk
Krusty Doll: Yeah, ya stupid idiot...

"When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!"

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

Moe: Say, Barn. Uh, remember when I said I'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab?
Barney: Oh ho, oh yeah. We all had a good laugh, Moe.
Moe: The results came back today.

Ms. Hoover: "Okay class, pull out your red crayons"

Ralph: "Mrs. Hoover, I don't have a red crayon"

Ms Hoover: "Where is it?"

Ralph: "I ated it."

"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city,
keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its speed dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend!

Barney: I'm Barney Gumble, and I'm and alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scout meeting.
Barney: Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit that you have a problem?

*bump*

"All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer."

"Don't mess with the dead, boy, they have eerie powers."

"I bet Einstein turned himself into all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb."

Hey, I was the one who started the 'what's your favourite Simpsons' quote?'
Nah.
Well, as for the canoe quote that was spoken by Jasper, one of the lesser known characters, the long-bearded senior citizen who lives with Grampa Simpson at the retirement home - the 'Springfield Retirement Castle.' I believe that was in the episode when there is a teacher's strike and all the local townsfolk are recruited.

OK, I'll ask a few...


'I wonder what the Klingon word for loneliness is...oh, here it(looks it up in Klingon dictionary) is ******'

'My parents insisted I try it'

'Smithers wouldn't know the meaning of the word gay.'

'Any key? Where's the any key?'

'Hello, my name is Marge. Simpson' :-)

Lisa (excitedly) : I really like school

Homer (sarcastically) : Well, le de dah, if you like it so much why don't you just stay there all the time, and sleep there too ?

Lisa (with icicles hanging off her words...) : I would if I could......


;D

Homer:  No beer or TV make Homer go something something.
Marge:  Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!

"That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"

"Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy."

"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"

"What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts."

(Milhouse is tied up in net and gets hit in the teeth with a puck deflected by Lisa Simpson)

Milhouse: Ow, you knocked out my teefff...

Apu: That's right Milhouse, keep up the chatter.

Probably, IMO, the best line ever :)

Snake Shut Up Or Ill pistal whip u

Homer PISTAL WHIP!!!!

Homer thinking pistal whip is is eatting whiped cream with a gun

Homer MMMMMMM Pistal whip

More wit and wisdom from Homer J. Simpson!  ;D


"If you really want something in life you have
to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."

"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are
my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'"

"Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned
anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain whats-his-name?"

" When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I
thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie -- Spaceballs. But
instead it was dark and disturbing.  Like that movie -- Police
Academy."

Are we just posting our favorite quptes, or what?
There are some great one liners.  My all time favorite: "My son's a box, damn you!! A BOX!!!"

"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."

"And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Often as a lawyer!"

"Sit perfectly still. Only I may dance!"

"No children at the 4-H club either? Am I so out of touch? ...No. No, it's the children who are wrong."

"We must crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya.... In that I mean, it's time for the worker of the week award."

"If it isn't my good friend Mr. McGregg! With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!"

Try and name the characters who give those great one-liners.

"Good Morning, Everybody!"
"Good Morning, Dr. Nick!"

"Good Morning, Everybody!"
"Good Morning, Dr. Nick!"


Mel Gibson: "Hello everyone."
(Slience)
Dr. Nick: "Hello Mr. Gibson"

More Simpsons quotes...  ::)  ;D

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. "

"The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!"

"I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"

Bart: OK, it's not painfully clear the adults are definitely
paving the way for an invasion by the saucer people.
Milhouse: You fool! Can't you see it's a massive government conspiracy?
Or have they gotten to you too?
Lisa: Hey! Hey, hey, stop it! Stop it! Why are you guys jumping
to such ridiculous conclusions? Haven't you ever heard of
Occam's Razor? "The simplest explanation is probably the
correct one."
Bart:  So what's the simplest explanation?
Lisa: I don't know. Maybe they're all reverse vampires and they
have to get home before dark.
Everyone: Aah! Reverse vampires! Reverse vampires!

Homer i am so smart i am so smart samtr i mean smart as he burns the wall lol ;D ;D

I just watched another one of my favorites. Mayor Quimby is giving a speech in a sold out stadium, just after Wiggum told him to keep the fact that Marge shoplifted a secret:
Quimby: Let the word go out from this time and place that Marge Simpson is a shopfilter!
Wiggum: Hey!
Quimby: In other news, the chick in "The Crying Game" is really a man!
Crowd: Booooo!!!
Quimby: I mean, Man! That's a good movie!
Crowd: Yeah!!!

*Something like this....

Bart: I am a big fan but your last movie stunk
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, magic ticket my a**!
Ranier Wolfcastle: Oh Maria, my mighty heart is breaking

More Homer quotes...


"When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something."

"I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here."

"Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman."

Ralph Wiggum : Hi, Principal Skinner! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers

----------

Bart: Take him away, boys.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I'm the Police Chief here. Bake him away, toys.
Lou: What was that, chief?
Chief Wiggum: Do what the kid says.

----------

Moe: Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes'

Grandpa Simpson: The last time the meteors came, we thought the sky was on fire. Naturally, we blamed the Irish. We hanged more 'n a few.

Homer: We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget -- we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, AND the pudding cup.

Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun.
Bart: Right, the leprechaun.
Ralph: He told me to burn things.

Burns: Look at that pig. Stuffing his face with donuts on my time! That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers?
Smithers: Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder.

    Homer: " MARGE, me and the boy are going out, if we don't come back, avenge our deaths"
    Marge : " OK"

    When  Homer is about to go in for surgery to give Grandpa a kidney:
      Homer: "Marge, i want you to promise me  something if i don't survive"
      Marge : " Anything dear"
      Homer : " Blow UP The Hospital "
      Mrage sighs  and says "I did  say anthing ...ok, i'll do it"

Homer: Um, your honour, I was chassing the KBBL Party Penguin Prize Patrol.
Judge: You abandoned your son to win forty dollars?
Homer: And a blue oyster medallion... cooool.

Edna: Alright, now who can pick up the predicate in this sentence.
Homer: screams in sleep
Edna: What's wrong with him now, Bart?
Bart: Night terrors, ma'am.
Homer: Ah! Cobras!

Homer: He makes me crazy 12 months a year! At least you get the summer off!

Kid: Nelson! You're bleeding!
Nelson: Naah, happens all the time. Somebody else's blood splatters on me. Hey.. wait a minute. You're right! You made me bleed my own blood!