Smart people wear thick glasses, button-down shirts, and slacks.
Dumb people wear football uniforms.

Everyone in high school was having sex except you and the class
valedictorian.

Your dog is way smarter than you.

France is populated entirely by attractive young women and Gerard Depardieu.

Every Southern town has a fat redneck sheriff named "Smokey."

Mexico is populated entirely by vacationing frat boys.

Parents always come back from vacation a day early.

There are no ugly prostitutes.

It's only possible to win any sporting event in the last three seconds of
the game.

Cheerleaders hate having their shirts on.

The best way to escape your enemies is to drive on the wrong side of the
road.

A student who's failing every class can still rig up an elaborate device to
to answer his phone when he calls in sick.
   

;D So true

Great topic! Here goes:

-Nerds make better lovers, cos while alll jocks think about is sport, all nerds think about it sex.

-People with good looks and/or money are either shallow as all hell, or deeply troubled. :-\\

Will think of some more, when I have more time. :)

I had to answer this one.  This is want I learned.... ;)

1. If you have premarital sex, you deserved to die.

2. If you have a female boss, don't trust her.

3. Dont put yourself in a compromising position. If something doesn't feel right just leave.

4. If you have talent in atheletics or in the Arts, you can achieve, believe in yourself.

5. When you're in high school you may have something in common with that person outside your clique.

6. If someone you know is dating a jerk, offer your shoulder to cry on, when things dont work out, you're in.

7. Be careful what you wish for.

8. Never estimate the power of friendship.

9. Even the rich can have self-destructive behavior.

10. Reconcile with your parents. Dont wait to its too late to say "I Luv You" or " I'm Sorry"

11. A perfect good-looking blind date may not be perfect in the inside.

12. Women will alway use their feminine charms (SEX) to have their lover commit a crime for them.

OK, here we go:

Things Hawk Has Learned About Life From Bad (Or Not-so-bad) '80s Films-

-All of life's problems can be referred to as "cute & fuzzy bunnies".

-Don't piss off the misfits, if you plan to enter in a boat race against them. (There goes your Ferreri!)

-You will be victorious in a quest, with the help from a dwarf, an elf, a giant, a witch, and a mystical sword.

-Arnold Schwarzennegger looked better in bracers, a loincloth, and with a blade in his hand.

-If you ever get challenged by Satan in a "Best Of 7" contest, have a hi-tech computer on your wrist.

-You can forge a legend by pulling a sword out of a stone in Britain.

-If someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES!"

-Rich college jocks always end up getting jealous of the guy who ends up with their girlfriends.

-NEVER dye your hair blue, if you plan to feather it.

-Slobbish grandchildren are the reason why tigers eat their young.

-Don't take up golf. You'll lose large sums of money, be subject to boat sinkings, and have to clean up the gumball machine you break, when you fight the top Caddy.

-High school students can take out terrorists anyday!

-If you get buried in sand at the beach, beware of larger men with beach chairs and economy-sized cans of chili.

-If you're holding a $1 million contest on the radio, you'd better award it to the nut that's been listening every summer for 10 yrs. Otherwise, they'll blow up your radio station.

-Finally, don't EVER piss off a 12-yr. old boy, who reads horror comics. You might end up as part of a tale in one of them.