Dear God,

Why do you have me wait longer, put a disability on me, and have me live in Cleveland?

MrCleveland

This is my 'Dear God' letter in a nutshell, asking why God says 'no' to me when it comes to driving, having a girlfriend, and a place of my own.

This is my 'Dear God' letter in a nutshell, asking why God says 'no' to me when it comes to driving, having a girlfriend, and a place of my own.


"Careful what you ask for.  You might get it."
  - God.

Don't ask me how I got a copy of your mail.  I was looking for the answer to


"Dear God, why didn't I leave this country when I knew it was screwed, but my trading account was still at a local maximum, and my taxes were still at a local and legal minimum?"


"I gave you a plane ticket for a vacation, a tax accountant, and the gut feeling that the country was toast.  Then you went and used the return half of the ticket to come home after your vacation.  What the hell did you want, a Me-damned letter on golden paper telling you to void the return ticket?"
  - God to Foo Bar.

I gotta admit, that God guy has a way with words.  And a sense of humor.  And a point.

Dear God,

Why is American politics so draining?  Why do people do stupid crap and either credit or blame you?
How many of there are you?  Why do some people insist that you're a gender?

Reynolds1863

Dear Reynolds1863,

Remember that VW van that was for sale?  Perhaps I should have put a Canada or bust sign on it for you.
Because humans don't like responsibility.  Most of the time I have no ideal of the situation.  How many of me are there?
Ask me that later when you've gotten into Eastern Philosophy.  Because it makes humans feel more close to me. *sigh*
Whatever works for them.

The Supreme Being

Dear God,

Why is American politics so draining? 


http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x109/zoomddy/americanpolitics.jpg

"No answer to your other questions, but this one I can handle.  It's because I watch MST3K too."
  - God.

Dear God:

Why am I such a mess?

--Maxwell

Dear Maxwell:

Thank you for writing to the Supreme Being.  He always welcomes your input and is in your life personally to guide you through all of life's challenges.

--God
(via Seraphim Agent #9889898878743497346564336346336434343592837482834, Sol System, Milkyway Galaxy, Southwest Quadrant, The Universe)

Or as Andy Partridge put it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk41Gbjljfo

As long as we're on the subject, the
Internet Oracle (aka USENET Oracle) isn't God, but it's the closest thing going since 1989, and it's answered every prayer I've prayed to it.

The Oracle hasn't always answered in the way I've liked, but it's always made me crack a smile with its wry sense of humor.  (In that respect, it's also indistinguishable from any God that I'd be likely to worship.)

The Internet is the first time so much global information and commentary has been assembled in one place accessible to all.  I'll bet the Internet becomes even better at predicting the future in the next few years!

(aside from the substantial portion of humanity without access to electricity or potable water.)