This is going on NOW: Where do YOU fit in?



PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH'S RESIGNATION SPEECH


If Bush resigned today, this is what his speech would be.....


Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans", not
doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who
more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has
happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.

I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all
in lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid
prosecution, let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or
impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm
fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in
the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours.
And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and
figure it out.

Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and
the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy
is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners,
including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're
mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership
is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was
during the Clinton administration. I've mentioned all those things
before, but it doesn't sink in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market rebounded to
record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these
markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most
of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because
there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a
small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and
beachfront property than your economic security. We should be drilling
in America , not in the MIddle East ! We face real threats in the
world.

Don't give me this "blood for oil" crap. If I were trading blood for
oil I would've already seized Iraq 's oil fields and let the rest of
the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied; People
Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I
could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be
'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that the Bill Clinton's
intelligence was faulty.

Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the
goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq
was official US policy before I came into office. Clinton established
that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during
the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic
models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because
fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We
were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't
care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as
long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them
as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards
are all over the globe. You should be grateful that they haven't gotten
any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But
you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number
of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security
people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started,
I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm
disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight
amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.'

Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things
through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think
that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy.
Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation
to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, you might just as
well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same
thing.

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over
the Internet, it just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on
NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of
you would rather watch American Idol.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will
always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a
city that's below sea level and has a Cat 5 hurricane approaching.

I could say more about your idiotic belief that government, not your
own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the
conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So, I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient
house down there (Al Gore could only dream of) and the capability to be
fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got
elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear
of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the
last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too.

That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it - you can
have her. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a
glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are
smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that's it.

God bless what's left of America . Some of you know what I mean. The
rest of you can kiss my %&$!



 

WTF?

If Bush quit today, like 80% of the country and 99.9% of the world would celebrate :P

That speech is chock full of the arrogant ignorance that has marked this administration. 

Here's a much more accurate one from this site.

"My fellow Americans:

I come to you tonight with a heavy heart. Two years ago today, thousands of innocent Americans were murdered by terrorist maniacs.

In the script I've been handed, I'm now supposed to tell you that America is safer today, and that the world is kinder and nicer and happier, because of I'm such a brilliant general in the War on Terror.

But who are we kidding? Yesterday, Osama released his new hit video. The terrorists are having a picnic ever since I turned over our foreign policy to Saudi Arabia and Exxon-Mobil.

And here's the point in my speech where my handlers would have me tell you about how I've been praying hard, making it sound like I just got off the phone with the Lord. I don't know about you, but I find it pretty darn offensive, downright blasphemous, to drag the Lord's name into every cheap campaign speech and chest-pounding war threat. Osama says he talks to God too. Let's leave Him out of the politics from now on, OK?

Look, in my speech this past Sunday, I used the word "democracy" about 11 times when talking about Iraq. It's democracy Florida-style, I suppose. Except we're not fixing the vote this time. We aren't letting these people vote at all. "Iraqis aren't prepared for democracy." That's what Dick Cheney and Saddam Hussein told me.

So we're blowing 100 billion bucks we don't have to colonize a country we don't want. Rummy tries to explain it to me each morning -- oil this and oil that -- but I just don't see it. And one of our kids dying there every day - where are their parents, anyway? My dad didn't let that happen - he got me out of the service. Didn't I look neat in that fly-boy suit?

And, let me tell you, I just looked at our nation's piggy bank. Uh-oh.

When I arrived, the last guy left me $4 trillion and said, "Be careful with all that cash in this neighborhood." Well, I have to level with you, America: it's all gone. The cupboard's bare and this year alone we blew half a trillion more dollars than we have in our bank account. Man, I can't believe I went through all that dough stone sober.

And what did we get for it? A Fatherland Security Department that's trying to read the labels on everyone's underpants. Think about it, all this Total Information Awareness KGB stuff: two years ago Americans were the victims - but my government has made Americans the suspects. I don't know about you, but this guy Ashcroft scares the bejeezus out of me.

And today I'm told that over nine million Americans are out of work. That's not so bad: I haven't done much work in my lifetime either. But my mama explained to me that not everyone's daddy can lend them an oil well to tide them over.

It's like I can't get anything right. The lights are going out in Ohio and the North Pole is melting. I don't get it. I appointed all those regulators that Ken Lay told me to, and I got rid of all the rules that got in the way of patriotic Polluter-Americans .. and what's the upshot? America the Beautiful is looking like she's had a pretty rough night. Won't be long before the whole country smells like Houston.

And now the stock market's floating face down in the swimming pool -- despite everything I've done for those guys on Wall Street. Even my plan to give every millionaire an extra million seems to have backfired. Greenspam says I've created "business risk." Says I spook investors. But when I asked Greenspam for a solution, all he did was hand me a bag of pretzels.

Hey, I can take a hint. OK, I'm over my head on this one. I look back over these last years, and what have I got to show you for it: two years of bloodshed, economic devastation, and spreading fear in America and abroad.

When I ran for this office, I said the issue was, "character." And just look at the characters around me. I've gotten all their resignations today. And while I've got some character left, here's my own good-bye note too. Let's face it: I have held a title which I did not win, and for which I have proven unqualified. You know it. And I know it.

It's at this point in the speech where I'm supposed to say, "And may God bless America." God better, because Dick Cheney won't. Don't panic: I'm not turning over this sacred office to Mr. Contracts-R-Us.

Instead, I've petitioned the United States Supreme Court to pick a President for us. Those guys picked the last one, why not the next one?

And so, my fellow Americans, you can take this job and .."

Here, Mr. Bush's words became unintelligible. As usual.

Ant

That speech is chock full of the arrogant ignorance that has marked this administration. 

More like chock-full-o' (something else).
:P

More like chock-full-o' (something else).
:P


nuts? :D

nuts? :D

That too!

The speech may look all nice like that on paper, but Bush would massacre the crap out of it while giving it.  LoL. 

Y'all are overthinking it.

April 1, 2008: 

Dick:  "OK, the mic's off."
George:  "You're sure the mic's off?"
Dick:  "Sure I'm sure.  Go for it!"

My Fellow Americans,

I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Iran forever.  We begin bombing in five minutes.

Y'all are overthinking it.

April 1, 2008: 

Dick:  "OK, the mic's off."
George:  "You're sure the mic's off?"
Dick:  "Sure I'm sure.  Go for it!"

My Fellow Americans,

I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Iran forever.  We begin bombing in five minutes.



I think a guy who puts an end to a situation by killing the other guy before he kills you is damn heroic!

You think BUTCHER OF BAGDAD was a myspace name? Anyone with an acquired name 'BUTCHER' has his future pretty mapped out.

The speech may look all nice like that on paper, but Bush would massacre the crap out of it while giving it.  LoL. 


Nucular strategery.

I think a guy who puts an end to a situation by killing the other guy before he kills you is damn heroic!


Ah, you 90s kids.  I forgot I gotta link these things for y'all...

We Begin Bombing In Five Minutes

(Ah, us 80s kids.  We forget that there already exists a link for everything, even when it's Bonzo Goes To Washington's obscure industrial-funk-dance track called 5 Minutes :-)

To address your point -- we can spawn a proliferation thread if you like, but the long and the short of it is we're probably gonna have to let the Israelis pre-empt the Iranians for us.  Iran's enrichment programme continues to ramp up as we speak.  The physics of enrichment are such that if you have enough fuel for a power reactor, you're also within 2-3 months of a Bomb.  Whether they choose to build a Bomb or not is an open issue.  The NIE from a few months ago says only that they haven't been, not that they won't.  The NIE from this week says that they could, not that they will.  Both statements are probably true, which is the sucky part:  we haven't a freakin' clue what they'll do, and anyone who has a freakin' clue, ain't talking.

That speech is chock full of the arrogant ignorance that has marked this administration. 


That's what makes it so believable...  lol