Are there any cases in which you would disown your own family?  For instance, if they disowned you, killed somebody, gave up their religion, etc.

I don't think I would ever disown my family in a spiritual sense, but if they presented some sort of danger to my life or livelihood I would try to avoid them.

Yes.

Some crimes are unforgiveable and if a member of my family did any of those crimes, I'd do everything in my power to make it look like they were never in my family to begin with.

My immediate family? No. Everyone outside my immediate family? Pshaw, in a New York minute.

Nope.

I did.

Things are still pretty shakey.

I think 'disown' is far too strong a word to describe my situation, but we went about a year without talking.

Not that long compared to some.

Would I disown them. It would all depend I suppose, on what they did and why they did it.

Yes, if there was a good reason... although I can't see my family ever giving me a good reason.

I've thought about it. But, no...they'd still bother me and guilt me into not disowning them... ::).

Disown, no, I don't think so.  Of course I have a very small family.

'Disowning' means nothing. Your'e still the same flesh and blood. But I think parents who kick their kids out of their houses (or kids who kick their elderly parents out) obviously don't know the meaning of the word family. Of course, there are exceptions (i.e. when you fear for your safety, they are a real danger), but parents kicking out say, a daughter who became pregnant, or because their kid came out of the closet...don't understand the mentality behind that sort of thinking.

No I wouldn't unless they did something absolutely abhorrant which I would is say is very unlikely.

Depends on who we're talking about, but I really don't think there is anything that would make me disown a member of my family. Avoid them, sure, but not disown. No "you're dead to me"  Sopranos kind of stuff.

The most common reason I've heard that people disown other family members is when the family members forget you even exist until they need help (usually money).  My husband and his older sister 'disowned' their two other sisters because of that, and also because the other two sisters were drug addicts and used to make up sob stories about their kids being sick and them about to be kicked out of their homes, etc.. to try to get my husband to give them money...for drugs.  We haven't heard from those sisters in about 6 years, and nobody really misses them at all.

The most common reason I've heard that people disown other family members is when the family members forget you even exist until they need help (usually money).  My husband and his older sister 'disowned' their two other sisters because of that, and also because the other two sisters were drug addicts and used to make up sob stories about their kids being sick and them about to be kicked out of their homes, etc.. to try to get my husband to give them money...for drugs.  We haven't heard from those sisters in about 6 years, and nobody really misses them at all.


That's pretty messed up.  I can understand disowning your family if they, like in that case, disown you first in a sense.  But the whole "you're dead to me" stuff I just find really sad, the only thing worse than somebody's body dying is somebody's soul dying.

That's pretty messed up.  I can understand disowning your family if they, like in that case, disown you first in a sense.  But the whole "you're dead to me" stuff I just find really sad, the only thing worse than somebody's body dying is somebody's soul dying.


Actually when people ask my husband how many siblings he has, he says he just has one sister.  He doesn't think of them as 'dead', he just doesn't think of them as family.

Actually when people ask my husband how many siblings he has, he says he just has one sister.  He doesn't think of them as 'dead', he just doesn't think of them as family.


Ah, I see.  :)

I couldn't see disowning my immediate family, seeing as how they're the only *real* family I've got anymore. They mean too much to me. They'd never do anything that would lead me to make them persona non-grata in my eyes. Now me, on the other hand...I probably gave *them* a few reasons to kick me out of their house as teenager, but it never came to that. Thank god.  :) 

There was a while when I didn't communicate with my mother-that was because of my ex and it is a VERY long story.

I would never disown anyone for their religion (you can read about all the different religions just in my immediate family in another thread). One my nieces is a lesbian and lives with her significant other-here in our little small town-not a problem for me. In fact, her significant other calls me her aunt-which I take as a complement. So in terms of that-NEVER! (That goes with something else I always say, "It doesn't matter WHAT you are but WHO you are")

I would distance myself from ANYONE (family or not) if I felt they were a threat to me and the ones I love, but I don't know about disowning them.



Cat

People in my family used to frequently disown each other over monetary disputes and personal quibbles...my aunt disowned all of us. We just don't speak to her anymore. My great-aunt disowned my grandfather (and all of our families, by extension) my great-grandmother disowned her sister, etc. In my grandfather's family, girls got disowned when they married a sheidel (a non-Jewish male.)

^I'm from a highly dysfunctional family on both sides, but most of the "disowning" business is on my dad's side. Crazy Irish drunks. The lot of them are insufferable. There hasn't been much disowning in a monetary sense in the last 30 years. My paternal grandmother's drunken brothers squandered all the family money all partying, booze, and lavish layabout living, then her second husband ran the family business into the ground in the 1960s. Then said second husband cashed out all the bonds trying to save his ass from lung cancer, but it killed him anyway in '74! 
It was more a situation in which "we can't invite so-and-so because such-and-such and so-and-so won't speak to eachother.
My father "disowned" his half-brother in the '70s because my uncle is a paranoid azzwhole, but so is my dad.  My dad continued to run me down verbally and give me the same sh!t he started giving me when I was twelve until I was in my early 30s. I didn't "disown" him, I declared him "estranged." My sister wants me to make amends with him before he dies.  I told her I ain't ready to deal with the old SOB, but I'll give it the old college try in the next few years.  If he plays his cards right, he's got another fifteen years on his carcass. If he catches something acute and croaks before we reunite, so be it! 
:P

My immediate family? No. Everyone outside my immediate family? Pshaw, in a New York minute.


agreed...for the most part! ;)

My family 'disowned' me when my mother refused to get treatment for her alcohol, drug, and gambling addictions..leaving me in the hands of DYFS and some pretty nasty foster parents, who I wish I could have 'disowned' for their physical, verbal, and emotional abuse...

My sister has not gotten in touch with me for the last ten years...oh well, that's her loss. If she's ashamed of my mental illness, that's her problem, not mine. I am not a bad person.

My immediate family? No. Everyone outside my immediate family? Pshaw, in a New York minute.
                                                                  same here depending on the circumstances

Right now, my sister and I are debating who is our mother's favorite and who will "inherit" all. The thing is, none of us really wants to inherit what my mother has-so it is a joke. "Ha, ha. You're the favorite now, so you are going to get everything."  ;D ;D ;D




Cat

Reasons for Disownment-

My Aunt Sue and My Mom and Grandma (NJ, 1990s): My aunt Sue is schizophrenic, she's fallen in and out of touch with us for years. She goes to the same Y as my mom and lives up the street from my high school, but she only once called us up to talk about dentistry. We want to be in touch with her, she's always leaving hang-up calls...she sort of disowned my grandmother after my grandfather died and only calls her up to yell at her.

My Great-Aunt Pauline G. and My Grandma (NJ, 1970s): My great-aunt Pauline is also schizophrenic, she hated my grandmother, got divorced, and moved to Missouri from the town next to where my mom grew up, outside of Newark.

My Great-Great-Aunt Hilda and my Great-Grandma Anne Kimberg (Bronx, 1930s): Monetary controversy, my great-grandma was a pretty upper middle class person in the Bronx, and her parents ran a boarding house apart from their candy store. Disowned a whole massive side of my family, now mostly living in Westchester.

I figure if my sister really wants to get in touch with me, she could try to find me. I honestly think she's embarrassed to have a mentally ill sister....if she can't accept me as I am, I'm better off without her.

I figure if my sister really wants to get in touch with me, she could try to find me. I honestly think she's embarrassed to have a mentally ill sister....if she can't accept me as I am, I'm better off without her.


My mom tries to get in touch with her sister, but they both have longer issues. My mother has mental problems too, but they're not as severe, I suppose. They both have trouble making contact, but they both want to. They used to, but they've both given up because of all the pain. They still exchange cards and stuff.

I wish I could have disowned my biological father, especially after he beat the s*it outta my mother, breaking her ribs...But I was only eleven years old. Delmon Bach(his name) was one mean, miserable SOB. What my mom saw in that drunken bum, I'll never know!

I wish I could have disowned my biological father, especially after he beat the s*it outta my mother, breaking her ribs...But I was only eleven years old. Delmon Bach(his name) was one mean, miserable SOB. What my mom saw in that drunken bum, I'll never know!


At least you hopefully don't have to deal with him.

At least you hopefully don't have to deal with him.
He's long gone out of my life.

Being only 14 when my parents divorced never bothered me because I spent almost all of my time withr friends at their homes. I've got 2 brothers, 1 sister and my father. I wouldn't disown any, i'm still tight with my brothers and sis, but my father remarried and had children and grandchildren with his wife. I was never phased by any of it, except when I got into my late 30's something dawned on me in that I realized my father hadn't just divorced my mom, he had basically divorced our whole family. I wasn't hurt, I dont resent him or have ant regrets but I don't really consider him a father. I stll see him now and then and call him on special occcasions but he's more like an uncle or some distant relative that I neither have a fondness for , but I don't dislike him, I'm ok with it.  My wife's family is my true family now and has more than filled any void of the family I missed out on while young. I feel no allegiance to him but no need to disown him. He's been good to his 2nd family and I wish him the best.

I am in the midst of disowning my father. Some people try to justify the person who hurts another, whether it be emotional or physical... but really... it depends on the person in the situation. I mean, some people can simply brush off the verbal insults of parents, some have them cut deep to the point of them never leaving their mind. Thanks to my father I am so self conscious about my body that I will never take off a big black hoodie unless I am alone, even then I feel uncomfortable. Ever since I was 9 my father has been telling me I was fat and pointed out in my pictures what exactly he saw wrong with me. He of course denied it in court when he custody battles came by. And he would threaten me if I ever stopped seeing him when I was a child he would come to my house and kidnap me. And when I was 18 and came to see if after 5 years if he had changed and gone to anger management and what not as the courts asked... he hadn't because to him nothing was wrong. So I spent some weeks hearing him tell me my mother was a ... promiscuous woman( in not so polite terms._ telling me I had to dump my boyfriend if I was to have a relationship with him again, and telling me I was too fat as a size 9. =/ and told me how gross I looked in my prom dress. I am disowning him as a major, gtfo of my life. ( for the first 5 years of him being disowned, he got my email off my step sister and emailed me constantly when the court told him not to. and he did some stalking and went to far as to have a little spy in my home town asking my mother questions about me and going around town asking too)

I am in the midst of disowning my father. Some people try to justify the person who hurts another, whether it be emotional or physical... but really... it depends on the person in the situation. I mean, some people can simply brush off the verbal insults of parents, some have them cut deep to the point of them never leaving their mind. Thanks to my father I am so self conscious about my body that I will never take off a big black hoodie unless I am alone, even then I feel uncomfortable. Ever since I was 9 my father has been telling me I was fat and pointed out in my pictures what exactly he saw wrong with me. He of course denied it in court when he custody battles came by. And he would threaten me if I ever stopped seeing him when I was a child he would come to my house and kidnap me. And when I was 18 and came to see if after 5 years if he had changed and gone to anger management and what not as the courts asked... he hadn't because to him nothing was wrong. So I spent some weeks hearing him tell me my mother was a ... promiscuous woman( in not so polite terms._ telling me I had to dump my boyfriend if I was to have a relationship with him again, and telling me I was too fat as a size 9. =/ and told me how gross I looked in my prom dress. I am disowning him as a major, gtfo of my life. ( for the first 5 years of him being disowned, he got my email off my step sister and emailed me constantly when the court told him not to. and he did some stalking and went to far as to have a little spy in my home town asking my mother questions about me and going around town asking too)


Sounds just like my old man.  Uncanny how much.  He was a real sonofabitch.  I was 33 years old before I drew the ultimatum.  I said I'd estrange him if he couldn't quit talking to me like I was a piece of garbage like he did when I was 15.  He emailed me back and said I was "full of sh*t."  You can only kick a dog so many times before he stops coming back to you.  Last time I saw him was last summer at my brother's wedding, but I didn't talk to him.  Not so much as a handshake.  People who know us both say I should make peace with him 'coz we'd get along really well now.  I've made my peace without him.  Those people weren't in the room when he said stuff like, "You'll never amount sh*t!" and "You're no son of mine!"  Yeah, he said that.  When the Genesis song came out, it blew my mind.  It was like the band saw my adolescence as it happened.  Well...he'll die soon enough and the world will be clear of him.
::)

Sounds just like my old man.  Uncanny how much.  He was a real sonofabitch.  I was 33 years old before I drew the ultimatum.  I said I'd estrange him if he couldn't quit talking to me like I was a piece of garbage like he did when I was 15.  He emailed me back and said I was "full of sh*t."  You can only kick a dog so many times before he stops coming back to you.  Last time I saw him was last summer at my brother's wedding, but I didn't talk to him.  Not so much as a handshake.  People who know us both say I should make peace with him 'coz we'd get along really well now.  I've made my peace without him.  Those people weren't in the room when he said stuff like, "You'll never amount sh*t!" and "You're no son of mine!"  Yeah, he said that.  When the Genesis song came out, it blew my mind.  It was like the band saw my adolescence as it happened.  Well...he'll die soon enough and the world will be clear of him.
::)


People say the same thing to me about how I will miss him, ask if I regret being so cold. I an so much happier with him out of my life. I am getting more self confidence, and I am so happy. Our fathers seem quite similar. Mine would actually call my work to check to make sure I where I was, and come to work to see me. Monitored my calls, did room checks. I was 10 minutes late from getting home( to his time) and I got the third degree. Honestly... people like that are so much better out of peoples lives. They  cause too much hurt to others.

My sister has been legally disowned by my family.  Let's just say she did 10 years in a Georgia prison for doing something only men were thought to be.  My parents couldn't take back the fact that they adopted Satan so they did the next best thing.

I'm somewhat estranged from my mother. The poor woman has always been mentally ill, so I can't help but feel sorry for her. But what has marked me most in my entire life is the pain and shame she has caused me. Because of her illness (but also I think because of her own personal irresponsibility) she was never fit to raise me, so I lived mostly with my father, thousands of kilometres away. But I remember as a child that all I ever wanted was for my mother to be a responsible adult, and to get her shît together so that I could live with her and be near my cherished aunts and cousins. But alas it never happened. The few periods of my life I did live with her were catastrophic. She just wasn't a capable person, let alone a fit parent. So I never got to live with her the way I wanted. It was very disappointing because she would always promise me that 'next year' would be the year when I could finally come back and stay with her and we'd be the modern single-parent family, but it never came to pass. In fact, my entire childhood was punctuated by a series of disappointments in my mother, and a certain sense of shame, as though it reflected badly on me to not have a normal mother like everyone else who looked after him.

People would ask me, and still do to this day, 'how's your mother?', knowing that she's fücked up, knowing that it must kill me to have to talk about it, they still ask me. Perhaps it's just to remind me not to feel too big for my breeches. No matter what I ever achieve, to them I'll always be that kid in the extended family whose mother was a whacko loser who could never hold it together. I hate those people, and I mean that truly. I told myself last time that next time I visit, from now on, when they ask me the dreaded question, I'll just say: 'Well I don't really know, but if you're really interested I think she's in the book. Why don't you give her a call?'

When I was 17, I left my dad's house on a whim to go live with my mum far away, who was living with one of my aunts. I thought that's what I wanted, but even before I left I knew I had made a mistake. I have no regrets, but that doesn't change that the few years that followed that move would be the ones where i would definitively break most of the childhood emotional ties I had with my mother, when I would finally realise as an adult everything that had always been wrong with her. I do love her in some undefined way, and I understand life has been hard for her. I don't hold any grudges, but I still can't ever have a typical mother-son relationship with her. I know that causes her a lot of pain, but there's nothing I can do about that. That's just life.

She almost died a while back. She was in hospital, and it was all but certain she would pass away, and I flew in to where she lives to oversee everything. I thought it would be a devastating situation, and it was indeed a bit unnerving... but not altogether sad, I must say. I remember feeling some strange mixture of callousness, sadness and above all relief. I thought that if she died I wouldn't have to worry about her any more, at least. She survived, against all odds. I still don't know what to think about all that. Was that moment where I permitted myself to think my life might be better if she were no longer in the picture an effective disownment? I'm not really sure. 

No...unless if they did something VERY unforgiving.

But my uncle on my mom's side...fudge yeah! My distant cousin is more closer than he is!

No.

People say the same thing to me about how I will miss him, ask if I regret being so cold. I an so much happier with him out of my life. I am getting more self confidence, and I am so happy. Our fathers seem quite similar. Mine would actually call my work to check to make sure I where I was, and come to work to see me. Monitored my calls, did room checks. I was 10 minutes late from getting home( to his time) and I got the third degree. Honestly... people like that are so much better out of peoples lives. They  cause too much hurt to others.


That's classic controlling abuser behavior.  My dad was less into micromanaging and more into general scolding and condemnation.  He knew what was best for everybody to do in life and if you didn't do it exactly the way he said, you were a no-good f*ck-up and deserved whatever happened to you.  The thing is my dad couldn't hold down a job, manage the household, or be civil to friends and relatives, so there was always this grinding resentment saying, "Who TF are YOU to tell ME how to do anything?"  There's that scene in the Breakfast Club in which Bender is re-enacting the a fight with his old man:
"No, dad, what about you?"
"F*ck you!"
"No, dad, what--about--you?"
"F***k you!"
"NO, DAD, WHAT ABOUT YOU?"
"F****K YOU!!!!"
That's about the level to which our conflicts deteriorated when I was a teenager. 

My sisters both estranged him at different times.  Their problem is they get wooed into going back to him.  They'd report back to me, "Oh, he's not that way any more, he's different.  He's mellow.  He's sweet.  He's fun to be around...."
I wanted to say, "He's playing you like a two-dollar banjo," but I'd just keep my mouth shut.  Sure enough after a few months, there would be some blowout and Monster Dad would rear his ugly head.  My sisters would end up feeling all hurt and betrayed and swear him off again.  Then the cycle would repeat.  One time one of my sister's described him as "a sad old bear."  See, that's the personality disorder.  He knows how to turn up the charm so you think, "Awww...he was mean to us in the past, but look at him now, puttering around his woodworking shop in his overalls and making toys for the grandkids.  Isn't he sweet?  He really does love us all!"
Then my sister was all in tears because he told her her daughter had behavioral problems because SHE'S too f**ked up and neurotic to be a good parent, and she let's our spacey New Age mother look after the kid, and so on and so forth.

That's often the problem with an abusive parent, whether you're six, or sixteen, or forty-six.  The parent isn't a monster ALL the time.  My dad really could be kind and charming and supportive.  He was so smart and he taught me lots of interesting stuff about history, geography, politics, or whatever I was interested in.  BUT...you never knew when Monster Dad would come back.  It could be any minute...literally...so you never felt trustful or secure with him.

The other thing about growing up with dad that I resented to no end was the way my mom would make excuses for his sick, violent temper.  "I know it's scary when daddy acts like that, but he's had a really hard life and he feels very sad inside..."
And that's supposed to make me feel better about him smashing your stereo set and giving you a shiner, WTF is the matter with you, mom?
Yeah, he doesn't have to take responsibility for any of his behavior, but if I step out of line, woo-hoo, look out, the mighty sh*thammer is coming down!
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/05/fudgeyou.gif

/rant

I am in the midst of disowning my father. Some people try to justify the person who hurts another, whether it be emotional or physical... but really... it depends on the person in the situation. I mean, some people can simply brush off the verbal insults of parents, some have them cut deep to the point of them never leaving their mind. Thanks to my father I am so self conscious about my body that I will never take off a big black hoodie unless I am alone, even then I feel uncomfortable. Ever since I was 9 my father has been telling me I was fat and pointed out in my pictures what exactly he saw wrong with me. He of course denied it in court when he custody battles came by. And he would threaten me if I ever stopped seeing him when I was a child he would come to my house and kidnap me. And when I was 18 and came to see if after 5 years if he had changed and gone to anger management and what not as the courts asked... he hadn't because to him nothing was wrong. So I spent some weeks hearing him tell me my mother was a ... promiscuous woman( in not so polite terms._ telling me I had to dump my boyfriend if I was to have a relationship with him again, and telling me I was too fat as a size 9. =/ and told me how gross I looked in my prom dress. I am disowning him as a major, gtfo of my life. ( for the first 5 years of him being disowned, he got my email off my step sister and emailed me constantly when the court told him not to. and he did some stalking and went to far as to have a little spy in my home town asking my mother questions about me and going around town asking too)

I feel for ya.
My dad and I never got along. Firstly, he lied all the time, secondly, he was an alcoholic and he was pretty abusive. Fortunately, he's only 5 foot 2 (I'm 5'11) so I was bigger than him when I was about 11 years old.
He stole money from me (which he denies), he did lots of selfish things.
Did I disown him? no. But I thought about it 500 times.
Do I respect him? nope.
Did I shed one tear after he died? no (and that was several years ago)

I feel for ya.
My dad and I never got along. Firstly, he lied all the time, secondly, he was an alcoholic and he was pretty abusive. Fortunately, he's only 5 foot 2 (I'm 5'11) so I was bigger than him when I was about 11 years old.
He stole money from me (which he denies), he did lots of selfish things.
Did I disown him? no. But I thought about it 500 times.
Do I respect him? nope.
Did I shed one tear after he died? no (and that was several years ago)



Funny you should mention size.  I got the short gene in my family.  I'm 5' 5".  My dad is 6' even.  When I was 17 he could still intimidate me physically because, yeah, we both knew he'd win a fistfight.  In college he was still bigger and heavier than me, but he was old and slow.  I'd been pumping iron and I was much quicker.  Our fights at that time were more vicious than ever.  One time he referred to my mother as a whore.  I walked up to him toe to toe and said, "Go ahead, call her a whore again, and see what happens."  The guy's eyes bugged out and his jaw dropped for a second.  Then he walked away.  I had a flash of pure rage remembering him beating my mom and my sister when I was little.  I thought about lunging for him, but I just shouted, "Yeah, big man, only likes hitting people who can't hit back, like women and little girls!"  I heard his car keys rattling.  He muttered something like, "F**king little psychopath, you'll be in the state pen before you're 30!"
He returns a couple of hours later.  I made sure I was sitting in HIS La-Z-Boy and drinking HIS beer when he came back.  He ordered me: "Get TF out of my house and never come back!"
I belched, yawned, and replied, "Nope.  That sh*t ain't gonna fly either.  I'm gonna stay right here drinking this here beer and watching this here television.  You don't like it?  Try and put a stop to it.  See what happens."
The old f**ker schlepped up the stairs and went to bed.  That was the end of that.
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/09/smokin.gif

  One time he referred to my mother as a whore.  I walked up to him toe to toe and said, "Go ahead, call her a whore again, and see what happens."  The guy's eyes bugged out and his jaw dropped for a second.  Then he walked away.  I had a flash of pure rage remembering him beating my mom and my sister when I was little.  I thought about lunging for him, but I just shouted, "Yeah, big man, only likes hitting people who can't hit back, like women and little girls!"  I heard his car keys rattling.

My dad said that to me about my mom as well, and being bigger I slammed him against the wall and told him if he did that again he was going to go through the wall, and that pretty much ended his days of saying that word about her. For a change, he actually wasn't drunk at the time.

My dad said that to me about my mom as well, and being bigger I slammed him against the wall and told him if he did that again he was going to go through the wall, and that pretty much ended his days of saying that word about her. For a change, he actually wasn't drunk at the time.



See, I grew up feeling like everybody else's dads were Sheriff Taylor and Ward Cleaver!
::)

I wouldn't disown my family, but I think my sister is thinking of disowning me. I did nothing wrong. My sister is going through a divorce, and her sisters-in-law  are making up false malicious gossip about me and her husband, and I'm innocent. 10 years ago I started helping my sister and brother-in-law  with household chores, because their daughter was in a bad car accident, and she has a closed head injury. My sister has to take her daughter out every day for exercise, and her husband stayed in the house while I did the household chores. Sometimes my sister and her daughter would go to play Bingo at night, and her husband and I decided to go to the casino with my sister's permission. We also had my husband's permission too. Since my sister and her husband are going through divorce proceedings, her sisters-in-law  have started false malicious lies about their brother and I. None of the things that they are saying or assuming that we did are true. They are telling my sister the lies, and also telling me in front of her. I know my sister says she believes me, but I think she also believes them. I don't know if she just says that she believes me, but she really doesn't. My sister will not stick up for me, or herself when they gossip. I don't know why they started all this gossip, but my brother-in-law  once said that they were very jealous of me helping him and my sister with household chores, and with us going to the casino and having fun.

My brother-in-law told me a long time ago that he was going to play a trick on his sisters, and also 1 of his brother-in-laws. They are real nosy and kept nagging him to tell them about our private lives. He does not like people nagging him, so he told them lies about what we did when we were at home or at the casino. When he told me that he told the lies, I asked him what did he tell them lies for? He told me that he didn't care if they believed him or not, and he didn't care what they did with the information either.I asked him why didn't he tell the truth, that we weren't doing anything. He said if he told the truth, that they would keep bugging him. You know what they say, the truth is boring, but lies are more exciting. I asked him what if they tell my sister? He said that he didn't care what they did. When we were at the casino my brother-in-law got the idea to kiss for "Good Luck". when we played the slot machines. It didn't mean anything, because I do not like my brother-in-law that much. I only tolerated him because he was married to my sister. The kiss was only for "Good Luck". Sometimes one of the sister-in-law  and the Mom would come to the casino with my brother-in-law  and me. They would see us kissing for "Good Luck", and thought there was something more to our relationship. So I think they put 2 and 2 together with what they seen, and the lies that my brother-in-law  was making up, and they thought that something more was going on. Nothing else was going on, we're innocent. Besides, I would never want to ruin my good trusting relationship with my sister. My sister knew that we kissed at the casino, because she used to come to the casino with us. I am not the reason why he left my sister. The reason is that he cheated with his first cousin. I think that his sisters are telling these lies, because they are trying to blame me for the divorce. The truth is that they do not know me, like my sister knows me. She knows that I would never do anything to hurt her. They may know how their brother is, but they do not know me. I really think that they want to shatter our sisterly relationship, and make it so my sister will never talk to me again.

It is really strange that they say they are on my sisters side, and want to disown their brother for what he did, but yet they still talk to their brother. My sister is relying on one of the sister-in-laws , and her  husband to help her with important papers, and things around the house. They know that my sister's ex husband will do anything to hurt my sister, but yet they hurt her too by telling her all the lies about their brother and me. My sister's health is not good, since she has had 3 heart attacks, a mini stroke, and various other health problems. They know that she will not stand up for herself, let alone me, since she's afraid that they won't help her then. I really don't think that they care about my sister or her health. They just keep putting more and more stress on her by telling these lies about her husband and me. I just told her recently about the part where the sisters-in-law  were lied to by their brother, and she thought that I was harassing her when I told her. She will not believe me when I say they are 2-faced.

I used to think a lot about these people before, but when they turned on me,by telling all the lies, their credibility has gone right down the drain, and well as their brother's credibility. When my sister thought I was harassing her, but I wasn't, she even said that I was interfering in her in-laws life, and she didn't want them mad at her. Actually to start with, they were and still are interfering in my life, but I guess that's OK with my sister, if they do that. I wrote my sister an email a few days ago, and told her that I'm not sending her email or calling her until she gets things sorted out more. I also told her that then she can't say that I'm interfering in her life or anyone else's life. However, I did tell her if she needs to talk to me, than she can email or call me. I also told her that I will not bother her. I just hope that those in-laws are not trying to convince her that they think that I am a troublemaker. I think that they are troublemakers, and not me... because I didn't do anything to them. I just hope that I do not lose my sister over all this trouble. I am so close to her, and I don't want her to disown me.