I think there've been a few other topics where this has come up, but thought I'd ask individually.

In the last 10-15 years, has there been a certain tendency to blow off everyday kindness? Not necesarilly on purpose, but maybe we just don't think about it. I'm talking about, say the willingness to help a stranger who needs a quarter for the bus, or just saying "hi" and making smalltalk with someone in a grocery store.

Perhaps the Internet world of 1997+ as well as the already more "cutting edge/urban" culture of the '90s has made this shift? I mean, now more than ever we know there's alot of scumbags out there, and we're always hearing about it on the news and stuff. So there's a tendency to always be very "on guard" with other people much of the time.

Aside from living in a big city, I have at least some "firsthand" knowledge having worked in retail for a few years. I tend to basically be friendly/cool with everyone. I've had people tell me they thought I was a really nice guy, etc. While on one hand, that's a nice thing to hear, it's also kinda sad to think it's so "unusual", since I grew up seeing it as normal.

I think people are alot meaner this decade, and less into appearing "nice" than they were even in the '90s. I don't know if this is a permanent change, it sort of goes up and down. People are pretty stressed out and in alot more turmoil than in the '90s right now, and culture now is all about being cuttng-edge and not as laid back as it was awhile ago. Part of it is just the NYC area, since 9/11 we've all been a bit weird. There're people at my school with parents who worked at the World Trade Center and just narrowly escaped the collapse...I went to Chicago and people there were a good deal nicer and less approachable, it was extremely refreshing, the nice, considerate attitudes just being typical. I had the same experience in Baltimore.

I think there've been a few other topics where this has come up, but thought I'd ask individually.

In the last 10-15 years, has there been a certain tendency to blow off everyday kindness? Not necesarilly on purpose, but maybe we just don't think about it. I'm talking about, say the willingness to help a stranger who needs a quarter for the bus, or just saying "hi" and making smalltalk with someone in a grocery store.

Perhaps the Internet world of 1997+ as well as the already more "cutting edge/urban" culture of the '90s has made this shift? I mean, now more than ever we know there's alot of scumbags out there, and we're always hearing about it on the news and stuff. So there's a tendency to always be very "on guard" with other people much of the time.

Aside from living in a big city, I have at least some "firsthand" knowledge having worked in retail for a few years. I tend to basically be friendly/cool with everyone. I've had people tell me they thought I was a really nice guy, etc. While on one hand, that's a nice thing to hear, it's also kinda sad to think it's so "unusual", since I grew up seeing it as normal.


Good observation man.  I've found in being out and about a lot that it really just depends on so many things.  Where the person is from, what they are entertained by and so many other factors. 

I think there've been a few other topics where this has come up, but thought I'd ask individually.

In the last 10-15 years, has there been a certain tendency to blow off everyday kindness? Not necesarilly on purpose, but maybe we just don't think about it. I'm talking about, say the willingness to help a stranger who needs a quarter for the bus, or just saying "hi" and making smalltalk with someone in a grocery store.

Perhaps the Internet world of 1997+ as well as the already more "cutting edge/urban" culture of the '90s has made this shift? I mean, now more than ever we know there's alot of scumbags out there, and we're always hearing about it on the news and stuff. So there's a tendency to always be very "on guard" with other people much of the time.

Aside from living in a big city, I have at least some "firsthand" knowledge having worked in retail for a few years. I tend to basically be friendly/cool with everyone. I've had people tell me they thought I was a really nice guy, etc. While on one hand, that's a nice thing to hear, it's also kinda sad to think it's so "unusual", since I grew up seeing it as normal.


I would have to agree. I think it's because cell phones, the Internet, etc. cuts people off.  People don't talk anymore, so they aren't as sensitive to one another's feelings. Which ultimately is what turns people into scumbags or just generally rude people.

I tend to be like you in the sense of treating people with friendliness if they treat me that way.  Even if they were sociopaths or criminals, if they were nice to me I would chill with them, if not exactly like them as a person or want to be a long-time friend, if that makes sense.

However, I find people who work at mini marts, etc. to be quite kind.  But then again, I live in Oregon, which is a very suburban and even rural kind of place, so it's not quite as fast-paced as say the Bay Area is.

I personally don't think so, some people say "oh you could walk on the street back then and not worry about anything" like there was no crime in lets say the '60s and "everybody was nice and the world was just perfect". To me it's a fallacy, I don't think people are any worse now then they were years ago, actually they're better in a lot of ways. I think people do worry about things more nowadays because of the media exploiting everything.

I would have to agree. I think it's because cell phones, the Internet, etc. cuts people off.  People don't talk anymore, so they aren't as sensitive to one another's feelings. Which ultimately is what turns people into scumbags or just generally rude people.

I tend to be like you in the sense of treating people with friendliness if they treat me that way.  Even if they were sociopaths or criminals, if they were nice to me I would chill with them, if not exactly like them as a person or want to be a long-time friend, if that makes sense.

However, I find people who work at mini marts, etc. to be quite kind.  But then again, I live in Oregon, which is a very suburban and even rural kind of place, so it's not quite as fast-paced as say the Bay Area is.


Even though I myself plead guilty to being addicted to the internet, and have a cellphone, I have to agree some people are just immersed in them. Like, the other day my buddy was giving me a ride home from class, and I start getting into some conversation -- we hadn't talked for awhile -- and his freakin' phone rings! They're intrusive, but of course they have their good, so I won't knock them too much.

You know, I don't have it in me to be an a**hole even when someone is one to me. Even someone who I didn't like, I'd hang out with them or at least give 'em a chance. I can agree to disagree, I also am not one of those "exclusive clique-type" people (high school was like that, so I made it a point not to be like they were).

Also, I tend to have the "treat others the way you want to be" philosophy. I remember getting to know alot of the people who worked at the grocery store when I was a kid (we even became pretty good family friends with a guy from Chuck E. Cheese). They'd babysit me, or just come over to the house and such.

Point is, that was totally normal to me. Now that I'm kinda the age those guys were then, and I'm the "guy at the store", it's really in my blood to be cool to everyone (save a select few perhaps, LOL).

BTW -- not meant to be controversial, but I do wonder if the reason the Bay Area can be "centralized" at times, is a large population of minorities. In other words, perhaps not everyone can comprehend things in English as clearly, so they stick to pretty much "business only" if that makes sense?

I personally don't think so, some people say "oh you could walk on the street back then and not worry about anything" like there was no crime in lets say the '60s and "everybody was nice and the world was just perfect". To me it's a fallacy, I don't think people are any worse now then they were years ago, actually they're better in a lot of ways. I think people do worry about things more nowadays because of the media exploiting everything.


I'll agree with you on that. There's more "crime" and "bad/negative things" reported now because of media and the Internet being so prevalent. In 1966 there were punks and troublemakers just as much as in 2006, but it wasn't in our faces, so to speak.

However, I think that very media exposure has made the average person alot more "on guard" and less willing to trust people, which is sad. Hell, just on a less extreme example, I wouldn't dream of, say going up to a girl I didn't know in public (unless it was at a party or some kind of "controlled" environment where everyone at least knew somebody) and starting a conversation. I don't want her possibly thinking I'm some dirtball trying to hit on her, etc.

I tell ya, it's hard being a "nice" guy. ;D

I'll agree with you on that. There's more "crime" and "bad/negative things" reported now because of media and the Internet being so prevalent. In 1966 there were punks and troublemakers just as much as in 2006, but it wasn't in our faces, so to speak.

However, I think that very media exposure has made the average person alot more "on guard" and less willing to trust people, which is sad. Hell, just on a less extreme example, I wouldn't dream of, say going up to a girl I didn't know in public (unless it was at a party or some kind of "controlled" environment where everyone at least knew somebody) and starting a conversation. I don't want her possibly thinking I'm some dirtball trying to hit on her, etc.

I tell ya, it's hard being a "nice" guy. ;D


Yea I agree about the media exposure it makes a lot people paranoid for no reason, thankfully I'm not one of them. One example is this whole bird flu garbage, just because a couple people died from bird flu doesn't mean it's going to infect the whole world.

Even though I myself plead guilty to being addicted to the internet, and have a cellphone, I have to agree some people are just immersed in them. Like, the other day my buddy was giving me a ride home from class, and I start getting into some conversation -- we hadn't talked for awhile -- and his freakin' phone rings! They're intrusive, but of course they have their good, so I won't knock them too much.

You know, I don't have it in me to be an a**hole even when someone is one to me. Even someone who I didn't like, I'd hang out with them or at least give 'em a chance. I can agree to disagree, I also am not one of those "exclusive clique-type" people (high school was like that, so I made it a point not to be like they were).

Also, I tend to have the "treat others the way you want to be" philosophy. I remember getting to know alot of the people who worked at the grocery store when I was a kid (we even became pretty good family friends with a guy from Chuck E. Cheese). They'd babysit me, or just come over to the house and such.

Point is, that was totally normal to me. Now that I'm kinda the age those guys were then, and I'm the "guy at the store", it's really in my blood to be cool to everyone (save a select few perhaps, LOL).

BTW -- not meant to be controversial, but I do wonder if the reason the Bay Area can be "centralized" at times, is a large population of minorities. In other words, perhaps not everyone can comprehend things in English as clearly, so they stick to pretty much "business only" if that makes sense?


Yeah, I think that's true about the Bay Area, living there for eight years.  It's a lot less personal than say the Pacific Northwest is; hell the Bay Area probably has more people than Oregon and Washington combined or at least almost as many! Plus, this is extremely controversial to say, but I think that people tend to subconsciously think of people from other countries as being a little less human then fellow countrymen, regardless of the nation.

When people treat me like dirt I tend not to get angry, because the fact that they're acting wrong is justice enough to me.  Why get pissed, it's not going to do anything but get them pissed back.  Ironically, I get angry at people for getting angry at me; anger makes me angry!  ;D  Really, I'm just mad at myself for being a jackass when that happens, and I wrongly take it out on the guy who's pissed at me.

But, like you said about "a select few", there are exceptions.  For instance, I will avoid someone I deem dangerous to me or my family, but I won't treat them like dirt either unless it means my safety.  And I don't really like hanging out with people who have no "wild side"/sense of humor whatsoever, or who are just so mean they're not fun at all.

I'll agree with you on that. There's more "crime" and "bad/negative things" reported now because of media and the Internet being so prevalent. In 1966 there were punks and troublemakers just as much as in 2006, but it wasn't in our faces, so to speak.

However, I think that very media exposure has made the average person alot more "on guard" and less willing to trust people, which is sad. Hell, just on a less extreme example, I wouldn't dream of, say going up to a girl I didn't know in public (unless it was at a party or some kind of "controlled" environment where everyone at least knew somebody) and starting a conversation. I don't want her possibly thinking I'm some dirtball trying to hit on her, etc.

I tell ya, it's hard being a "nice" guy. ;D


;D

About hitting on girls, did you see that Chris Rock stand-up where's he like:

Guy to Girl: "Hello."
What he's really saying: "Do you want some d*ck?"  ;D

Yeah, I think that's true about the Bay Area, living there for eight years.  It's a lot less personal than say the Pacific Northwest is; hell the Bay Area probably has more people than Oregon and Washington combined or at least almost as many! Plus, this is extremely controversial to say, but I think that people tend to subconsciously think of people from other countries as being a little less human then fellow countrymen, regardless of the nation.

When people treat me like dirt I tend not to get angry, because the fact that they're acting wrong is justice enough to me.  Why get pissed, it's not going to do anything but get them pissed back.  Ironically, I get angry at people for getting angry at me; anger makes me angry!  ;D  Really, I'm just mad at myself for being a jackass when that happens, and I wrongly take it out on the guy who's pissed at me.

But, like you said about "a select few", there are exceptions.  For instance, I will avoid someone I deem dangerous to me or my family, but I won't treat them like dirt either unless it means my safety.  And I don't really like hanging out with people who have no "wild side"/sense of humor whatsoever, or who are just so mean they're not fun at all.


Yeah, I have no problem at all calmly explaining my side of things in a disagreement with someone, but the only thing that p*sses me off is when they won't listen to a differing opinion, or are so attached to their own viewpoint (that whole "my way or the highway" thing).

This really relates to what we're talking about, but about five years ago I was walking to the bus stop in a kinda rough part of town in downtown San Jose. That day I'd dressed in a quasi Don Johnson style (bright orange T-shirt and white-ish khackis -- although I had socks ;D). Anyway, I guess this got the attention of a couple gangbanger-looking guys passing me.

Enough for them to go, "Hey f*ggot! Who the h*ll dressed you today!?"

Now, keep in mind I'm not usually good at coming up with something to say off the bat, especially when I'm surprised and freakin' scared. But, doing my best, I just totally acted like it didn't bother me and went, "Ahh c'mon dude. Who else would dare to bring back the Miami Vice look except me". Just like I was talking to old friends or at a party.

After BS-ing with them for about 15 seconds (which might as well have been 15 years to me!), they were soon BS-ing back with me before they went their own way.

Point is - my being "nice and friendly" probably saved me from a possible as* kicking or worse. If I had been confrontational about it like alot of people would be, or if I'd been excessively wimpy and ran away, it could've been another story. Unless you've got no other choice, it doesn't hurt to be cool with others. :)

Yeah, I have no problem at all calmly explaining my side of things in a disagreement with someone, but the only thing that p*sses me off is when they won't listen to a differing opinion, or are so attached to their own viewpoint (that whole "my way or the highway" thing).

This really relates to what we're talking about, but about five years ago I was walking to the bus stop in a kinda rough part of town in downtown San Jose. That day I'd dressed in a quasi Don Johnson style (bright orange T-shirt and white-ish khackis -- although I had socks ;D). Anyway, I guess this got the attention of a couple gangbanger-looking guys passing me.

Enough for them to go, "Hey f*ggot! Who the h*ll dressed you today!?"

Now, keep in mind I'm not usually good at coming up with something to say off the bat, especially when I'm surprised and freakin' scared. But, doing my best, I just totally acted like it didn't bother me and went, "Ahh c'mon dude. Who else would dare to bring back the Miami Vice look except me". Just like I was talking to old friends or at a party.

After BS-ing with them for about 15 seconds (which might as well have been 15 years to me!), they were soon BS-ing back with me before they went their own way.

Point is - my being "nice and friendly" probably saved me from a possible as* kicking or worse. If I had been confrontational about it like alot of people would be, or if I'd been excessively wimpy and ran away, it could've been another story. Unless you've got no other choice, it doesn't hurt to be cool with others. :)


That's a great story.  When I encounter jerks like that, I try not to stoop to their level.  Treating bad with good is the best way to go, unless you have no choice. 

Are there any people you're just totally turned off to?  That you won't even talk to?  I find that I will talk to pretty much anyone, unless doing so would endanger me or my family.  I don't really feel hate for anyone, but then again I've never been in a situation that would prompt hate, so I'm not really "shut off" to anyone, even if they've been nothing but mean to me.  If someone, say, killed my dad that may change, being human and all, but I still think that at least in theory it's never a good idea to treat someone else like crap, even if they treat you like crap.  That's not to say I never treat people like dirt myself, we all do occasionally, but I never think it's the sensible move.

Society as a whole got much nastier with the rise of Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh in the 1990s.  The rightwing government-media complex was only the next stage of the America sought by the "conservative" movement, funded by the likes of Richard Mellon-Scaife, since the 1960s.  The keystone was the election of Ronald Reagan. The rest of the devolution of the America built by liberal social policy 1932-1972 has followed Reagan.  Right now we are entering the throes of full-fledged fascism.

We have good ole boys and gangbanger kids who don't know the difference between civility and fear.  That's very dangerous.

There was a time when the elderly were treated with respect. Sadly, those days are mostly gone. Every day I see elderly people being disrespected mostly by teenagers and young adults...I think some of it is because some parents out there don't teach their kids kindness and respect or just are 'too preoccupied' to be the parent and set a decent example. They expect media stars and the schools to do their job. Respect is not something people are born with, it needs to be taught. And some adults are so wrapped up in themselves, their job, their playthings, and their social standing to care about others. It's sad, and it's now true more than ever.

people are definitely meaner nowadays....two words, ROAD RAGE....I have been seeing so much of it anymore.  Society is so fast paced anymore...it doesn't even allow people to look at what's around them and appreciate it, like we all used to be able to do.  Yes, there are a LOT of jerks out there...BUT, there are still a bunch of good ones. ;)

people are definitely meaner nowadays....two words, ROAD RAGE....I have been seeing so much of it anymore.  Society is so fast paced anymore...it doesn't even allow people to look at what's around them and appreciate it, like we all used to be able to do.  Yes, there are a LOT of jerks out there...BUT, there are still a bunch of good ones. ;)


You know, I do wonder if road rage came, at least in part, out of the huge "cell phone/Internet/wireless" technology boom? I first started hearing about this around 1998 or '99, at least when it became an everyday term. That's about when that stuff became household or essential.

Businesspeople, for instance, could be making important calls on their way to work or an appointment, so they're less patient, trying to do everything at once.

BTW, I like to think I'm one of the rare nice people still around (based on what I know, I'd say you are too). :)

You know, I do wonder if road rage came, at least in part, out of the huge "cell phone/Internet/wireless" technology boom? I first started hearing about this around 1998 or '99, at least when it became an everyday term. That's about when that stuff became household or essential.

Businesspeople, for instance, could be making important calls on their way to work or an appointment, so they're less patient, trying to do everything at once.

BTW, I like to think I'm one of the rare nice people still around (based on what I know, I'd say you are too). :)



thank you! And yes, you are a very nice person! ;)


speaking of road rage....the other morning I witnessed this person nearly run another person off of the road....they drove up real close behind them...then passed them quickly...weaved in front of them...slowed down...and then went behind them again and nearly ran them off.....it was horrible! :-\\

I guess you could say people are less polite/courteous nowadays, an example would be talking on a cell phone while asking for help in a store or working on their PDAs while trying to talk to someone.

;D

About hitting on girls, did you see that Chris Rock stand-up where's he like:

Guy to Girl: "Hello."
What he's really saying: "Do you want some d*ck?"  ;D


Yeah I saw that a few years back. While it was funny as heck (especially the way he said it!), I do think that sentiment is kinda true among some people. Which is exactly what I don't want to be perceived as, so sometimes I just think Why bother? ;)


Anyway, I think many stereotypes like this about people in general (i.e. reading a warning article on the Internet about living in a dangerous neighborhood) come from the general "news" presentation. If out of 100 things, 4 are bad, that's all we hear about. The 96 good/uneventful cases we don't, so we're more "conditioned" by the bad 4.

Yeah I saw that a few years back. While it was funny as heck (especially the way he said it!), I do think that sentiment is kinda true among some people. Which is exactly what I don't want to be perceived as, so sometimes I just think Why bother? ;)


Anyway, I think many stereotypes like this about people in general (i.e. reading a warning article on the Internet about living in a dangerous neighborhood) come from the general "news" presentation. If out of 100 things, 4 are bad, that's all we hear about. The 96 good/uneventful cases we don't, so we're more "conditioned" by the bad 4.


Agreed. Information creates an illusion of bad times.

There was a time when the elderly were treated with respect. Sadly, those days are mostly gone. Every day I see elderly people being disrespected mostly by teenagers and young adults...I think some of it is because some parents out there don't teach their kids kindness and respect or just are 'too preoccupied' to be the parent and set a decent example. They expect media stars and the schools to do their job. Respect is not something people are born with, it needs to be taught. And some adults are so wrapped up in themselves, their job, their playthings, and their social standing to care about others. It's sad, and it's now true more than ever.

The African proverb "It takes a village to raise a child" is spot-on.  The Repugs freaked out when Hillary used it as a book title because it obviously was in support of the dreaded welfare state.  I never read Hillary's book, so I don't know if she discusses the loss of "family" and "community" in the global village.  Whereas the Right talks about "family values," their idea of community is the isolated car-dominated suburb full of tract mansions. 
If we tended to be more provincial in the days before the automobile-and-television-dominated culture, we also lived in more connected and caring communities in many respects.  I deplore the "me me me" culture on both the left and the right.  However, conservatives tend to point to Hollywood and the feminist movement as responsible for "me-ism."  Unfortuanately, we find the agenda of most conservatives to be just as "me-ist" as anything Gloria Steinem ever thought up.  The Right is into MY money, MY house, MY cars, MY kids, MY church, and MY tax-cut, and everyone else can go screw themselves.  I am also appalled at the selfishness proffered by the mega-churches.  They place soooo much emphasis on using faith to maximize your personal satisfaction in life and your personal financial holdings that you'd never know there was a concept called "sacrifice" in Christianity.  The mega-churches are as bad as those Tony Robbins quacks who right the self-help books!
::)

I think a lot of the change happened during the raising of the "Gen X" children.

They were born in the 1960's and 1970's.  Society had been changed, and "Do Your Own Thing" became the mantra.  All of the old things were cast off as being "Bourgeois".  Men and women were equal, so showing deference to women was no longer "Politically Correct".  Since your elders were repressing you and lying, you no longer needed to give them any respect.

The times we live in now are just an extension of that.  I do not see it as "less friendly", as much as "less civil".  Manners are no longer needed.  Politeness is no longer required.

I remember working in fast food 25 years ago.  Back then, we had to greet a customer with "Good morning/afternoon/evening sir/ma'am.  Welcome to *chain name*, may I help you?"  Now, the normal greeting I get is a brusk "What do you want?"

Of course, this is simply the way that most of my generation was raised, and they are now passing it on to their kids.  I still rise to my feet whenever a female enters or leave a room, or joins or departs a table I am at.  This was the way I was raised.  And it is something that I almost never see anybody doing unless they are in their 60's.

Then again, maybe I am simply becomming an old fart before my time.

On New Jersey Transit buses, the front seats are supposed to be for elderly or disabled folks or pregnant women...Many times I see the front seats occupied by able-bodied men and women while elderly people who don't want to make waves sit in the back and sometimes stand rather than ask someone up front to please let them sit there...There's one elderly woman who rides the 8:28 bus...one time she asked this girl, politely, to move so that she could sit there...the girl went into a tirade that went something like this.."I don't have to move for your white a$$"..the bus driver told her to move...instead she got off because 'that white bitch caused trouble with me'...Since when does race matter when someone politely asks another person to be polite and move to another seat(there were other empty seats on the bus)?

I also notice when someone needs assistance, especially someone with a disability or mothers with young children, other people just stand there, even if the person asks for help! I always try and lend a hand as much as I can...It seems to me in today's world some people are so self-centered, they ignore the world around them..or some people have become hardened, jaded, and indifferent to the problems of other human beings.

There are some times that I wish I could slap some of those people that are rude to other people as well as me....but that would probably get me committed. There are nights I've cried myself to sleep because I could not get those rude people and their nasty comments out of my head. And another thing that gets my blood boiling is how some parents 'discipline' their kids by saying stuff like "You're so damn stupid" or "I'm gonna whoop your a$$ when we get home" and even stuff like "I hate you" and " I wish you were never born". That is just plain WRONG. IMO, mean parents raise mean children as well as bullies! And parents don't seem to realize that kids internalize all those mean words, and think they really are stupid, horrible, and worthless.

What comes around, goes around. Like parent, like child, and the cycle of meanness starts all over again.

I think it's not so much the era, but where one lives. Most large cities have never been very friendly, amiable or congregrious places to live, work.etc...this has been the way from Medieval times or even Ancient Rome. Australia is supposed to be one of the friendliest places in the Western world, and Perth is supposed to be the friendliest; which, compared to others, I think it is, but compared to say, a small country town, it's like New York. I find country people (while many are suspicious.etc) are friendlier because (the old adage applies) they depend on each other, and there's a real sense of community. I mean, if you see thousands of people every day (most whom you'll probably never see/recognise again) then you really have no connection to the wider society apart from your family, friends, acquaintances. All types of housing (suburbs, flats.etc) breed this same 'insolation' and social isolation has actually become a major problem.
So what I'm saying is, getting rid of cell-phones, internet.etc isn't going to help us. I think it's all to do with SOCIAL CONDITION...as was pointed out, GenXers are self-absorbed, and individualistic. They never had the communalism of the Boomers...even music festivals are no longer the collective experience they once was. So I think it's basic human nature...if you don't live in a society where everyone knows everyone else, then unless you're exceptional, you won't act that way. You have a chip that inhibits you.

Never been to America, so can't compare, but (I don't want to offend anyone) the most unfriendly place I've ever been to was probably Singapore. Don't get me started. People in New Zealand are at least as friendly as West Australians (though perhaps a bit more reserved), but Sydneysiders/Melbournians are probably least friendly. Queensland is about the same as Perth.

An example is how many people say, 'thanks' to the bus driver after they alight (I admit, I'm guilty here)...of course, given the number of passengers, I've never (or really) heard that anywhere else but in Perth. Except maybe old ladies who can't help but be polite. But anyway, just my experience.

I think a lot of the change happened during the raising of the "Gen X" children.

They were born in the 1960's and 1970's.  Society had been changed, and "Do Your Own Thing" became the mantra.  All of the old things were cast off as being "Bourgeois".  Men and women were equal, so showing deference to women was no longer "Politically Correct".  Since your elders were repressing you and lying, you no longer needed to give them any respect.

The times we live in now are just an extension of that.  I do not see it as "less friendly", as much as "less civil".  Manners are no longer needed.  Politeness is no longer required.

I remember working in fast food 25 years ago.  Back then, we had to greet a customer with "Good morning/afternoon/evening sir/ma'am.  Welcome to *chain name*, may I help you?"  Now, the normal greeting I get is a brusk "What do you want?"

Of course, this is simply the way that most of my generation was raised, and they are now passing it on to their kids.  I still rise to my feet whenever a female enters or leave a room, or joins or departs a table I am at.  This was the way I was raised.  And it is something that I almost never see anybody doing unless they are in their 60's.

Then again, maybe I am simply becomming an old fart before my time.


I know I can get rowdy on here and many of my social attitudes are very non-traditional, but believe it or not generally in everyday reallife I am a throwback when it comes to manners.  Adults always compliment on how unusually well developed my manners are.

I have to wonder if some of those who grew up in the 70's "me decade" who are parents nowadays don't really care how their kids act towards other people because of their own 'me first' attitudes..gotta get that big house, big SUV, big boat, country club membership..and 'oh my kid NEVER is mean to others' denial when their kids get in trouble for bullying or even hate crimes...