I have a huge confession to make that I am not proud of, but in the least have to say that I don't really regret either.  I am one of the many people in the world that has tried internet dating.  When I look at the here and now, I can do nothing my hang my head in shame and tuck my tail in embarassment over the whole ordeal.  However, to be fair to myself, I go back in time and look through the eyes of myself then, not now.

The reason I joined the internet dating site in the first place, was because I didn't feel like I had much option.  Everyone I worked with was either already taken, unattractive or much, much older than me.  College was much the same way.  I'm not much of a bar person nor a club person.  Therefore I felt that my only real option was internet dating and that's why I did it.

I've found that not only for myself but for many people, internet dating is nothing more than a headache.  I'm not going to get into all of the details, but I will share with you an add that I recently made for internet dating.

Tell me what you think  http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff162/AllAmericanStonebraker/TruthaboutInternetDating.jpg

I tried it a bit in the late 1990's and early 2000's.  And I found it grossly dissapointing.

Then I finally had a revelation.  Most people trying to date via the Internet are doing it there for a reason.  They are total failures in real-life dating.

I tried various sites, but mostly on Yahoo (back when it was still free).  I both responded to those that wrote me, and to a few from their ads.  And some of the replies were quite humerous.

One still sticks with me.  It was a reply from a gal, asking me what college I went to, and what degree I had.  When I told her I never attended college, she responded with "Sorry, I don't date people that are more stupid then me."

I still laugh at that.  Because if she equated college with intelligence, I doubt there are many more stupid then she is.

Or the ones that insist on knowing how much you make.  Excuse me, do you want to date me, or my income?  Here, let me give you my check book.  I am sure the two of you will have a great time together.

Then there are the ones even more materially oriented.  They want to know what car you drive, where you live, how long you have been at your current job, etc.

And being I was in California, there were a few that gave me rather rude responses when they saw in my background that I had served in the military.  "I don't date thugs", "I don't date killers", and things of that sort.

I did meet a few on casual dates, often to humerous results.  One found out I was seperated from my wife (and had been at that fime for 9 years), and called me a cheater. 

Another I met brought along her lesbian friend as a chaperone, for 3 different dinner dates (I paid for all 3 of us).  She then wondered why I did not ask her out for a 4th date.

Of course there was one gal who's picture turned out to be at least 5 years and 175 pounds out of date.  :D

Or the uncomfortable ones, like the one that asked me if I was circumscised.  Such a great dinner conversation at Black Angus that was.

Or the one that I took to dinner and a movie.  When she returned to the table after going to the rest room, I did the natural thing for me which was to stand up.  "Oh, you're ready to go?"  I did not want to embarass her by saying I was not, so off we went to spend 45 minutes sitting in the car before the show started.  I only went out with her the one time, I think to her manners were when somebody apologized for accidentially pulling her hair in bed.

I wish you a lot of luck.  I know that not all of them are like that.  It may have just been my luck.

Tell me what you think  http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff162/AllAmericanStonebraker/TruthaboutInternetDating.jpg


  Which are you more upset about - people misrepresenting themselves or that you may end-up meeting an ugly person..?

I have tried Internet Dating many times, but only once did I go on a date with one of them.  We had a fun time, but no romance came of it, and we are now just friends, which is cool.  I can always use a friend.

In my early days of Internet Dating, it was nothing but disasters for me.  I was lonely and willing to take whatever I could get, and what was there wasn't good.  Nowadays, I try and look for the right girl for me.  One that I can share interests with.  It is a challenge to find, but at this point, I'm in no hurry.  I've waited this long, I can wait some more.

Tell me what you think  http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff162/AllAmericanStonebraker/TruthaboutInternetDating.jpg


I promise you that when that picture was taken, I REALLY DID have that six-pack.

;D ;D

I tried it a bit in the late 1990's and early 2000's.  And I found it grossly dissapointing.

Then I finally had a revelation.  Most people trying to date via the Internet are doing it there for a reason.  They are total failures in real-life dating.

I tried various sites, but mostly on Yahoo (back when it was still free).  I both responded to those that wrote me, and to a few from their ads.  And some of the replies were quite humerous.

One still sticks with me.  It was a reply from a gal, asking me what college I went to, and what degree I had.  When I told her I never attended college, she responded with "Sorry, I don't date people that are more stupid then me."

I still laugh at that.  Because if she equated college with intelligence, I doubt there are many more stupid then she is.

Or the ones that insist on knowing how much you make.  Excuse me, do you want to date me, or my income?  Here, let me give you my check book.  I am sure the two of you will have a great time together.

Then there are the ones even more materially oriented.  They want to know what car you drive, where you live, how long you have been at your current job, etc.

And being I was in California, there were a few that gave me rather rude responses when they saw in my background that I had served in the military.  "I don't date thugs", "I don't date killers", and things of that sort.

I did meet a few on casual dates, often to humerous results.  One found out I was seperated from my wife (and had been at that fime for 9 years), and called me a cheater. 

Another I met brought along her lesbian friend as a chaperone, for 3 different dinner dates (I paid for all 3 of us).  She then wondered why I did not ask her out for a 4th date.

Of course there was one gal who's picture turned out to be at least 5 years and 175 pounds out of date.   :D

Or the uncomfortable ones, like the one that asked me if I was circumscised.  Such a great dinner conversation at Black Angus that was.

Or the one that I took to dinner and a movie.  When she returned to the table after going to the rest room, I did the natural thing for me which was to stand up.  "Oh, you're ready to go?"  I did not want to embarass her by saying I was not, so off we went to spend 45 minutes sitting in the car before the show started.  I only went out with her the one time, I think to her manners were when somebody apologized for accidentially pulling her hair in bed.

I wish you a lot of luck.  I know that not all of them are like that.  It may have just been my luck.


I did it for three years man.  I am one of those peopel that "suck" in the real life dating world, so I thought I'd give it a shot.  I'm not an unattractive guy, I'm just not a guy that does a lot of parties and a lot of bars, therefore at my tender young age, If you're not into that sorta stuff, your chances of getting a woman any other way than the internet are slim to none. 

People will say, what about college, did you go? Yeah I went, and I know the thinking is, "bingo", right?  Well, yeah, but where I went to college it wasn't quite that easy.  I went to a college that in all reality is set up for people that missed college the first time around.  The large percentage of my classmates were 30-40 year old married men and women, or single moms.  I don't know about you, but at 21-24 years old, an overweight single mother of 3 doesn't exactly appeal. 

So, I did the internet dating thing.  I can't say I was 0% successful because I actually met some very nice girls, and made some friends.  I also met some very not nice girls too.  I found that every attractive girl on an internet dating site is usually 1 of 3 things.  A - She is a girl with a boyfriend, but she needs her ego stroked as much as possible.  She needs to find as many guys as she can that are attracted to her as possible.  She'll have little disputes with her boyfriend, go out with you, kiss you, maybe do more and then never talk to you again.  B - She's a complete psycho. She's a sadist, mean, cold, heartless psycho.  Thos e are always fun.  C - She's single because she wants to be.  She could go out and get any guy she wants anytime she wants him, but she chooses to be single and she's just there for friends.

If an attractive girl isn't A,B or C she doesn't exist on an internet dating site.  Believe, I know.  I messaged probably close to 1,000 girls and every single time they were A, B or C. 

I'm back to the real world of dating, and can't say I've had any luck yet, but I like it so much better than the internet dating thing.

Some of the stories I could tell you, ooh, they'd send a chill right up and down your spine.

   Which are you more upset about - people misrepresenting themselves or that you may end-up meeting an ugly person..?


I met a few fat ugly girls on purpose, because I really liked their personality and can always use more friends. 

However, people misrepresenting themselves was the biggest deal breaker for me.  People would misrepresent themselves in so many different ways.  Usually they'd show you a picture of themselves before they got fat and then when you met them they'd be offended that you didnt' find them attractive. 

However, I found out in a hurry why people misrepresented themselves so often.  It's simple really.  In the internet dating world, you have to be 100% perfect.  You have to be extremely good looking, have a great job, have no baggage whatsoever, be extremely intelligent, do all of the fun things that people love to do, and be exactly an 11/10 in your potential dates eyes.

People were constantly looking for the deal breaker in your profile.  They'd see your picture, "oh he's cute".  Then see that you have a college degree in history education, "Oh, he's smart too".  Then see you have a good job, "ooh, neat a top insurance agent for Nation wide".  Then see that you only drink on occasion, "oh, I go out and get plastered every weekend, he's not for me".  Or, they'd find something else they didn't like about you and that'd be it.

So you almost had to misrepresent yourself if you wanted a date.  You had to find out what it was that women wanted and go with it.  Hell I know some of the smartest, nicest and most sincere guys that dress like bad boys and act like bafoons because they know that's what girls like.  They hate dressing that way and worse yet, hate acting that way, but it does get them a girlfriend.

I haven't brought myself to that level yet, but I'm beginning to wonder.

Anyway, Yeah, I hated people misrepresenting themselves, especially when a 5'5 300 lbs obese woman would pass herself off as, "average" with a facial shot only picture that didn't reveal her 45 inch waist and record sized thunder thighs.

I promise you that when that picture was taken, I REALLY DID have that six-pack.

;D ;D


Lol, and you look like the bearded guy at the computer now, lmao.  Been there done that.

Excuse me, but do you have some issue with fat people?  Some of the descriptions of your online dating experiences are pretty nasty in tone.

As for internet dating, I didn't sign up for it.  I just met them on this website.

Excuse me, but do you have some issue with fat people?  Some of the descriptions of your dates are pretty nasty in tone.

As for internet dating, I didn't sign up for it.  I just met them on this website.


Yes, I do have an issue with fat people.  I don't find them attractive, and I don't find myself romantically nor sexually interested in them.  Some of my best friends, and people I admire to the high degrees are fat.  I don't think being fat makes them less of a person, and being fat has nothing to do with how I look at them as a person.

However, I'm not attracted to women who are fat, and there is nothing wrong with that.  Everyone has standards, both physical and non physical.  Some people find obese women attractive, I don't.  However, just because they do and I don't, doesn't make them not shallow and me shallow.  There's something, whether it be women with short hair, women with crooked teeth, women with bad acne, women with bushy eyebrows, women with big noses....there is something that everyone is unattracted to physically.

Mine just happens to be fat.

Yes, I do have an issue with fat people.  I don't find them attractive, and I don't find myself romantically nor sexually interested in them.  Some of my best friends, and people I admire to the high degrees are fat.   I don't think being fat makes them less of a person, and being fat has nothing to do with how I look at them as a person.

However, I'm not attracted to women who are fat, and there is nothing wrong with that.  Everyone has standards, both physical and non physical.   Some people find obese women attractive, I don't.   However, just because they do and I don't, doesn't make them not shallow and me shallow.  There's something, whether it be women with short hair, women with crooked teeth, women with bad acne, women with bushy eyebrows, women with big noses....there is something that everyone is unattracted to physically.

Mine just happens to be fat.




Right, and that is your preference.  However, my issue lies with the fact that you think it's okay to describe obese people in such nasty terms.  The last person that made fun of me for being fat is still feeling the ear blistering I gave him. 

Something else is bothering me about this as well.  If you met a woman online that you respected and admired and the sparks flew, would you turn your back on that happiness if she gained weight later on in your relationship?  No one stays young, thin, and beautiful forever, so one has to wonder what you would do if your partner packed on some extra weight.

Right, and that is your preference.  However, my issue lies with the fact that you think it's okay to describe obese people in such nasty terms.  The last person that made fun of me for being fat is still feeling the ear blistering I gave him. 

Something else is bothering me about this as well.  If you met a woman online that you respected and admired and the sparks flew, would you turn your back on that happiness if she gained weight later on in your relationship?  No one stays young, thin, and beautiful forever, so one has to wonder what you would do if your partner packed on some extra weight.


I'm sorry if you take my contentations of describing them based on their weight problem.  My contentations of describing them as a "Nasty fat b*tch" wasn't because of their weight problem it was because of their honesty problem.  They tell me they've got an average or athletic body and then they're fat.  My issue isn't that they're fat, my issue is that they're a liar.  In that case, yes, they're a "nasty fat b*tch".

If she gained weight later on, I'd be ok with that.  Which you could say in response, "well what does it matter if she's fat at the very beginning then".    Well, I don't think anything I could say would ever be good enough for you but I'll put it to you like this.

I would go to the animal shelter and pick me up a dying dog that the vet says has a terminal illness that'll kill him within a few days, but if I were to get a puppy and many years later he/she were dying of a terminal illness that was going to kill them in a few days, I'd love that dog just as much the day he/she died as the day I got him/her.

Probably doesn't make much sense to you, but look at it this way. 

If you lifted weights hard 3 days a week, rode 21 miles a week on your bicycle, ran 6 miles a week, and ate extremely healthy trying to get your body in the best shape you possibly could, you wouldn't be as reluctant to judge me for my standards. 

I'm sorry if you take my contentations of describing them based on their weight problem.  My contentations of describing them as a "Nasty fat b*tch" wasn't because of their weight problem it was because of their honesty problem.  They tell me they've got an average or athletic body and then they're fat.  My issue isn't that they're fat, my issue is that they're a liar.   In that case, yes, they're a "nasty fat b*tch".

If she gained weight later on, I'd be ok with that.  Which you could say in response, "well what does it matter if she's fat at the very beginning then".    Well, I don't think anything I could say would ever be good enough for you but I'll put it to you like this.

I would go to the animal shelter and pick me up a dying dog that the vet says has a terminal illness that'll kill him within a few days, but if I were to get a puppy and many years later he/she were dying of a terminal illness that was going to kill them in a few days, I'd love that dog just as much the day he/she died as the day I got him/her.

Probably doesn't make much sense to you, but look at it this way.   

If you lifted weights hard 3 days a week, rode 21 miles a week on your bicycle, ran 6 miles a week, and ate extremely healthy trying to get your body in the best shape you possibly could, you wouldn't be as reluctant to judge me for my standards. 




First of all, don't bust out big words to try and make yourself look better.  It just makes you look like a pompous ass.

Second of all, I already said I do not care if your preference is fat, skinny, three tits, whatever.  I don't.  My issue was only with the fact that you decided that getting your point across had to include derogatory terms against fat people.  And yes, you could have described the ladies that misrepresented themselves to you in different terms than "nasty fat bitch".  It is not that hard to do, especially if you already have an impressive vocabulary.  I also have to wonder if you'd use these terms around your friends that are heavy or the heavy people that you admire.

Lastly, you obviously don't pay attention to any other parts of this board.  If you did, you'd notice a thread about losing weight and getting healthy that was started by: ME.  I'm not going to get into the long story of my ongoing weight battle because that would not appeal to you.  However, I will say that when you used those terms, along with your last condescending sentence above, you insulted a lot of members on here who are battling their own weight demons.  It just shows how ignorant you are if you think that every obese person is sitting around not doing anything about their weight.  A lot of us are working towards our own goals, and I do apologize if we aren't doing it fast enough for you.  And no, I won't be reluctant to judge you when I'm at my goal weight.

First of all, don't bust out big words to try and make yourself look better.  It just makes you look like a pompous ass.

Second of all, I already said I do not care if your preference is fat, skinny, three tits, whatever.  I don't.  My issue was only with the fact that you decided that getting your point across had to include derogatory terms against fat people.  And yes, you could have described the ladies that misrepresented themselves to you in different terms than "nasty fat bitch".  It is not that hard to do, especially if you already have an impressive vocabulary.  I also have to wonder if you'd use these terms around your friends that are heavy or the heavy people that you admire.

Lastly, you obviously don't pay attention to any other parts of this board.  If you did, you'd notice a thread about losing weight and getting healthy that was started by: ME.  I'm not going to get into the long story of my ongoing weight battle because that would not appeal to you.  However, I will say that when you used those terms, along with your last condescending sentence above, you insulted a lot of members on here who are battling their own weight demons.  It just shows how ignorant you are if you think that every obese person is sitting around not doing anything about their weight.  A lot of us are working towards our own goals, and I do apologize if we aren't doing it fast enough for you.  And no, I won't be reluctant to judge you when I'm at my goal weight.




Hey, people use deogatory terms all the time, and as long as they don't apply to them, then there is no problem.    I'm sure that there are people with physicalities that you have degraded in the past, and you didn't think anything of it.  You're fat, so you take fat insults personally.  I have a long face, I don't take long face insults personally.  When someone makes fun of Jay Leno or John Kerry, do I through a fit, no, I don't.  I just accept it.

If I were you I wouldn't take it so personally or so seriously.  All your doing is showing me that you're over sensitive and think that every guy who doesn't date a girl based on the sole fact that he finds her obesity problem unattractive, is shallow and doesn't take a girls personality and other attributes into consideration.  Believe me Jessica, there are plenty of girls I find very attractive physically that I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole because I don't care for their personalities.  To me personality is the #1 incentive.  However, if you have a 300 lbs body, I don't how good of a personality you have, that to me, is extraordinarily unattractive.

Do I use terms around my friends?  It depends.  If I can simply say to them, "I'm not attracted to obseity" and they are fine with it and let it be, then no, I don't use those terms around them.  Yet when they insist on degrading me for my healthy eating habits or what they call my "fixation" with the gym, then yes, I get them back.  When you light this s.o.b. on fire, you get a little smoke blown back in your face.  My philosophy on life is simple, "treat others, like they treat you".

Thirdly, I at one time had  a weight problem and that's the MAIN reason I won't date a fat girl.  Before I started going to the gym, lifting weights and really dedicating myself I used to be fat.  When I was fat, girls as fat as me wouldn't date me and girls even fatter than me would date me either, becuase I was fat.  Now that I look good, and they're still fat, sure they'll date me now.  Others, want a bad boy, but will settle for me and think that because I'm nice, I'll look past their weight problem.  In my opinion, that's even more shallow of them, than it is of me.

Do I think that every obese person just sits around and does nothing about their weight?  I do, do I?  Then hows come I have taken time out of my own life to help out a friend who's trying to look better?  Why have I taken him to the gym, shown him all that I know and even pitched in to buy him some healthy groceries?  No, I think I know that some obese people have genetic problems and work very hard on their bodies trying to improve themselves.  However, I also know that a lot of people are fat, don't like being fat but yet don't do anything to help out the situation.  They don't like being fat, yet they won't exercise and when you offer them a salad, they say, "um..I'm not eating this rabbit food, get me a cheeseburger and fries".


Maybe if my experiences with fat girls had been better when I was younger, I wouldn't be sooo unattracted to them, but it wasn't and history has an effect on the present. ;)

Hey, people use deogatory terms all the time, and as long as they don't apply to them, then there is no problem.    I'm sure that there are people with physicalities that you have degraded in the past, and you didn't think anything of it.  You're fat, so you take fat insults personally.  I have a long face, I don't take long face insults personally.   When someone makes fun of Jay Leno or John Kerry, do I through a fit, no, I don't.  I just accept it.

When I was younger and had no clue, yes I did.  I regret it mightily.

If I were you I wouldn't take it so personally or so seriously.  All your doing is showing me that you're over sensitive and think that every guy who doesn't date a girl based on the sole fact that he finds her obesity problem unattractive, is shallow and doesn't take a girls personality and other attributes into consideration.   Believe me Jessica, there are plenty of girls I find very attractive physically that I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole because I don't care for their personalities.   To me personality is the #1 incentive.   However, if you have a 300 lbs body, I don't how good of a personality you have, that to me, is extraordinarily unattractive.

Um no, I have said like THREE FRICKIN' TIMES now that I have NO PROBLEM with your preferences for thinner women.  I only took issue with the terms you used to describe the people that misrepresented themselves.  Yes, I used to be sensitive about it, but now I just get annoyed because a certain portion of the population thinks that it is okay to make fun of or mock overweight people.

Do I use terms around my friends?  It depends.  If I can simply say to them, "I'm not attracted to obseity" and they are fine with it and let it be, then no, I don't use those terms around them.  Yet when they insist on degrading me for my healthy eating habits or what they call my "fixation" with the gym, then yes, I get them back.  When you light this s.o.b. on fire, you get a little smoke blown back in your face.  My philosophy on life is simple, "treat others, like they treat you".

Bolding the f*cking point I've been saying for the past two posts.  I'm FINE WITH YOU NOT BEING ATTRACTED TO OVERWEIGHT WOMEN.  How much more clear do I have to make it?  And if your friends are mocking you for eating right and exercising, then they aren't very good friends now, are they?  You also don't seem to follow your own philosophy re: treating others as you would want to be treated.

Thirdly, I at one time had  a weight problem and that's the MAIN reason I won't date a fat girl.   Before I started going to the gym, lifting weights and really dedicating myself I used to be fat.  When I was fat, girls as fat as me wouldn't date me and girls even fatter than me would date me either, becuase I was fat.  Now that I look good, and they're still fat, sure they'll date me now.  Others, want a bad boy, but will settle for me and think that because I'm nice, I'll look past their weight problem.  In my opinion, that's even more shallow of them, than it is of me.

Methinks that your lack of dates at that point (and now) had nothing to do with your looks and more to do with your personality and your outlook on life.

Do I think that every obese person just sits around and does nothing about their weight?  I do, do I?  Then hows come I have taken time out of my own life to help out a friend who's trying to look better?  Why have I taken him to the gym, shown him all that I know and even pitched in to buy him some healthy groceries?   No, I think I know that some obese people have genetic problems and work very hard on their bodies trying to improve themselves.  However, I also know that a lot of people are fat, don't like being fat but yet don't do anything to help out the situation.   They don't like being fat, yet they won't exercise and when you offer them a salad, they say, "um..I'm not eating this rabbit food, get me a cheeseburger and fries".

Good for you for helping your friend!  Some people work better when they have a supporting buddy there.

How did I come to the conclusion you think every obese person sits around and does nothing?  Well, the last half of the paragraph above hints at that, but this:


If you lifted weights hard 3 days a week, rode 21 miles a week on your bicycle, ran 6 miles a week, and ate extremely healthy trying to get your body in the best shape you possibly could, you wouldn't be as reluctant to judge me for my standards. 


also led me to believe that you think that about every heavy person. 

Also, from the few posts that I've directed at you about your crappy comments towards overweight people, you came to the conclusion that I don't do shyt to better myself, which is entirely wrong, but whatever.

Maybe if my experiences with fat girls had been better when I was younger, I wouldn't be sooo unattracted to them, but it wasn't and history has an effect on the present. ;)


One more time:

I have no problem with your preferences, it was your attitude towards heavier people that I was questioning.

It's been fun, but I have a headache now.  Perhaps it came from having to repeat myself.

On the original topic:  I'm married to Rice_Cube.  We met on here.  I know quite a few other people in my situation (re: meeting their s/o on a messageboard).  Perhaps you should drop the dating sites and try messageboards that interest you.

When I was younger and had no clue, yes I did.  I regret it mightily.

Well, if the person is a good person, then yes, I regret it too.  If they're an a$$hole, then no, I don't regret it.  Simple.

Um no, I have said like THREE FRICKIN' TIMES now that I have NO PROBLEM with your preferences for thinner women.  I only took issue with the terms you used to describe the people that misrepresented themselves.  Yes, I used to be sensitive about it, but now I just get annoyed because a certain portion of the population thinks that it is okay to make fun of or mock overweight people.

So if I just woulda said, "She was a nasty b*tch" and left out the fat part you'd be ok with that?  Why would it be ok to degrade someone's personality, but not their weight?  Why would it be ok to use the words "nasty" and "b*tch" to describe them but not "fat".  What if she woulda been ugly?  What if she would have been skinny? What if she would have been short?  What if she would have been tall?  "She was a skinny, nasty B*tch".    To be fair, you better have jumped all over me in the same way.

Bolding the f*cking point I've been saying for the past two posts.  I'm FINE WITH YOU NOT BEING ATTRACTED TO OVERWEIGHT WOMEN.  How much more clear do I have to make it?  And if your friends are mocking you for eating right and exercising, then they aren't very good friends now, are they?  You also don't seem to follow your own philosophy re: treating others as you would want to be treated.

You want to talk to me about not reading what I wrote and having to repeat myself?  I never said my philosophy was treating others how I wanted to be treated.  I said and I repeat "my philosophy is treating other people, like they treat me".  So, if you treat me good, I treat you good.  You treat me like sh*t, I treat you like sh*t.

Methinks that your lack of dates at that point (and now) had nothing to do with your looks and more to do with your personality and your outlook on life.

Yes, and back when I used to be a nice, sensitive, caring guy bless my heart I only got dates with single mom's and obese women.  Therefore, not getting dates really doesn't bug me that much anymore, ;).

Good for you for helping your friend!  Some people work better when they have a supporting buddy there.

:) I knew you'd see at least one positve!

How did I come to the conclusion you think every obese person sits around and does nothing?  Well, the last half of the paragraph above hints at that, but this:

also led me to believe that you think that about every heavy person. 

A lot of heavy people have rubbed me the wrong way.  When you're in a field of biting snakes, it's hard to remember the ones that don't. 

Also, from the few posts that I've directed at you about your crappy comments towards overweight people, you came to the conclusion that I don't do shyt to better myself, which is entirely wrong, but whatever.

I don't know what you do, and frankly I don't care.  If you work hard on your body, then I wish you the best of luck. I sincerely do.  I admire people who work hard and dedicate themselves to something. 

One more time:

I have no problem with your preferences, it was your attitude towards heavier people that I was questioning.

It's been fun, but I have a headache now.  Perhaps it came from having to repeat myself.

Well what gives me a headache is the fact that even if I had said it in a nicer way, "I'm just plain unattracted to fat women", you or someone else still would have made me try and feel bad for it.    You say you wouldn't have but you still would have questioned it or someone else would have.  "What if she got fat later on?"  Or some other question would have popped up.  The way I see it, if you're gonna go out of your way to try and make me question myself and feel bad about the conclusions in life that I've came to, why should I be nice about it? 

Maybe you are one of the few, excuse me, the only one alive that wouldn't be like this but everyone else see's a guy that says, "Oh yuck, a fat nasty b*tch" and a guy that says, "I won't date a fat girl because I find fat unattractive" as the exact same thing and in the end you're still treated like a complete jerk.  So, I ask you, if the result is the same, if the destination never changes, why take a different route?

On the original topic:  I'm married to Rice_Cube.  We met on here.  I know quite a few other people in my situation (re: meeting their s/o on a messageboard).  Perhaps you should drop the dating sites and try messageboards that interest you.


Thanks for the advice, I do appreciate it.

Water, always drink water everytime you are thirsty, and with every meal.  Water will not only help you to lose weight as it is calorie less, but it'll also help you to lose weight because it makes you more alert and more awake and more likely to engage in activities that keep your heart rate up.  Not to mention, water helps your blood flow faster and smoother and also has nutrients to help your oxygen rich blood cells do their work in the body better and faster.

Sodas, even diet sodas are carbonated.  Whenever something is carbonated, it works against your oxygen rich blood cells, slowing your blood flow and your heart rate down. Thus it makes you more tired when your biking or jogging or doing anything that aerobic or anaerobic, and cutting what could have been a 15 minute workout into a 10 minute workout.

That's my tip to you.  Hope you didn't already know that, if you did, let me know.  I'll give you another tip instead.

I promise you that when that picture was taken, I REALLY DID have that six-pack.

;D ;D


I had the six-pack, the carton of smokes, the triple bacon cheeseburger, the two gallons of ice cream, the dozen donuts....

The problem with Interned dating -- well, one of many -- is that it is resume, not romance.  They make you fill out creepy questionnaires and give all kinds of information.  Then the few real* women looking for a man online read them looking for red flags (not tall enough, not high enough annual income, etc., then it's off to the short list, weeding out in further.

In any given market the number of genuinely desperate guys to genuinely desperate gals is anywhere from 10:1 to 50:1.  

I can't speak for anybody else 'coz some folks do meet the guy or gal of their dreams via I-dating.  However, I wouldn't recommend it.  My experiences were about the same as Mushroom's.

And don't join e-Harmony.  
:P

Oh, and at my age, it's single mom city.  They've already been though the marriage mill.  They feel the f**ked up the first time and married for love, and this time they're gonna marry for the right reason: Money.

Yeah, there are plenty of lonely obese women out there, but my heart goes out to them because short men have some of the same dating problems...
::)

* Given the ratio, a lot of cites keep dummy profile or bogus profiles of women on the site to keep the guys from getting discouraged!

And don't join e-Harmony.  
:P


Yeah.  A friend of mine tried out e-Harmony and after having filled out the questionnaire, she was summarily rejected BY THE SOFTWARE.

She told me "I never got rejected by a computer program before!"

;D

Yeah.  A friend of mine tried out e-Harmony and after having filled out the questionnaire, she was summarily rejected BY THE SOFTWARE.

She told me "I never got rejected by a computer program before!"

;D


I'd tell her to not feel bad about it.  Apparently they reject a LOT of people.  My friend was rejected, and another messageboard I visit had a thread going about that.  It's a pretty suck thing to do, especially if someone is already feeling poorly about their self esteem and/or this is a last ditch attempt to find love. :P

The Onion has some pretty awesome personals.

http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/song-chart-memes-cat-lady.jpg

http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/song-chart-memes-cat-lady.jpg


So are you saying you're going to become a cat lady?

So are you saying you're going to become a cat lady?


Can't, you're allergic to cats.

I often wondered if Carlos & I filled out one of those questionnaires, if they would match us up together.



Cat

I had the six-pack, the carton of smokes, the triple bacon cheeseburger, the two gallons of ice cream, the dozen donuts....

The problem with Interned dating -- well, one of many -- is that it is resume, not romance.  They make you fill out creepy questionnaires and give all kinds of information.  Then the few real* women looking for a man online read them looking for red flags (not tall enough, not high enough annual income, etc., then it's off to the short list, weeding out in further.

In any given market the number of genuinely desperate guys to genuinely desperate gals is anywhere from 10:1 to 50:1.  

I can't speak for anybody else 'coz some folks do meet the guy or gal of their dreams via I-dating.  However, I wouldn't recommend it.  My experiences were about the same as Mushroom's.

And don't join e-Harmony.  
:P

Oh, and at my age, it's single mom city.  They've already been though the marriage mill.  They feel the f**ked up the first time and married for love, and this time they're gonna marry for the right reason: Money.

Yeah, there are plenty of lonely obese women out there, but my heart goes out to them because short men have some of the same dating problems...
::)

* Given the ratio, a lot of cites keep dummy profile or bogus profiles of women on the site to keep the guys from getting discouraged!


You hit the nail right on the head Maxwell.  However, in this particular case I feel more sorry for men than I do women.   I can't get on my bike and go ride 7 miles around town, hoping at th end of it I'll be an inch taller.  I can't go to the gym and do military presses hoping at the end of it I'll be a tad taller.   All the dieting in the world, would never make me any taller.

http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/song-chart-memes-cat-lady.jpg


LMAO, this is great!

My girlfriend was raped by a guy she met on the Inernet.
New technology sucks!
And I hate Internet trolls. That's why I'm giving up on Internet this year!
I'm gonna use it only for work - no more meeting sites and blogs!

My girlfriend was raped by a guy she met on the Inernet.
New technology sucks!
And I hate Internet trolls. That's why I'm giving up on Internet this year!
I'm gonna use it only for work - no more meeting sites and blogs!


Yeah that makes me sick.  I know so many women that refuse to meet me off the internet because of cases like that.  Those men who do that sort of thing to women, need to be drug out into the street and beat.

My girlfriend was raped by a guy she met on the Inernet.
New technology sucks!
And I hate Internet trolls. That's why I'm giving up on Internet this year!
I'm gonna use it only for work - no more meeting sites and blogs!



Then why are you posting here?



Cat

Because these boards are somehow dfiffernet - there are not many bad people.

You should register, it'll be fun 8)

I met my husband on an internet dating site.  We've been together for five years and married 4.  I couldn't be happier.

I also met a lot of great guys that I dated before I met my husband.  I had a lot of fun with it.

Soul Asylum, I don't really know how else to say this...but maybe it's you that's the problem, not the women you're meeting.  :-\\

I met my husband on an internet dating site.  We've been together for five years and married 4.  I couldn't be happier.

I also met a lot of great guys that I dated before I met my husband.  I had a lot of fun with it.

Soul Asylum, I don't really know how else to say this...but maybe it's you that's the problem, not the women you're meeting.  :-\\


Maybe he should take up the harmonica.  I love Blues Traveler, he plays a mean harmonica.

Maybe he should take up the harmonica.  I love Blues Traveler, he plays a mean harmonica.



Does he play the harmonica while watching Tom Cruise?



Cat

I met my husband on an internet dating site.  We've been together for five years and married 4.  I couldn't be happier.

I also met a lot of great guys that I dated before I met my husband.  I had a lot of fun with it.

Soul Asylum, I don't really know how else to say this...but maybe it's you that's the problem, not the women you're meeting.  :-\\


Yes, it is me.  I'm a nice guy, not a turn my hat side ways bad ass.  Until I change or they change what they want, I'm s.o.l.

Maybe he should take up the harmonica.  I love Blues Traveler, he plays a mean harmonica.


I play the drums, maybe adding another instrument to my repitoire wouldn't hurt.

I play the drums, maybe adding another instrument to my repitoire wouldn't hurt.


Yeah, get a neck-rack for the harmonica, then you can harmonica while you drum 8)

Yeah, get a neck-rack for the harmonica, then you can harmonica while you drum 8)


I'm not that talented.  I still have trouble rolling and then getting back to the beat!

Maybe he should take up the harmonica.  I love Blues Traveler, he plays a mean harmonica.


BLUES TRAVELER!

BLUES TRAVELER!


He played the national anthem one year for the World Series, it was really awesome the way he handled that harmonica.

I met my husband on an internet dating site.  We've been together for five years and married 4.  I couldn't be happier.

I also met a lot of great guys that I dated before I met my husband.  I had a lot of fun with it.

Soul Asylum, I don't really know how else to say this...but maybe it's you that's the problem, not the women you're meeting.  :-\\


Oh come on!  Don't you think based on his responses here that SoulAsylum's a perfect bachelor candidate for all the ladiez? :D

Oh come on!  Don't you think based on his responses here that SoulAsylum's a perfect bachelor candidate for all the ladiez? :D


Well obviously, I'm on your good side!

But seriously, are you basing this based on my standards?  You show me someone without them, and I'll show you a liar. :)

You know what's really funny to me is how people actually think they're better for lying about stuff.  Not saying that's what's happening with anyone hear, but I am saying that is happening all over the world.

It's funny to me how people claim that they could care less about looks, and care less about money and care less about social status.  the only thing they truly care about is personality.  That isn't their number one priority, that is their only priority.

Yet, just plain observation shows that for some odd reason people who are ugly, don't have a lot of money and aren't that high up on the richtor scale of popularity seem to all have really bad personalities.  They must hide that really well because whenever I meet them, I generally walk away thinking, "Hey I like this guy/girl.  Sincere, honest, and empathetic"

The really good looking ones, with lots of money and everyone seems to know their name and put them on a pedastol, all seem to have really great personalities.  They must hide that even better than the one's with crappy personalities because their arrogance, better than thou artness, and two faced grins sure did fool me!

You know what's really funny to me is how people actually think they're better for lying about stuff.  Not saying that's what's happening with anyone hear, but I am saying that is happening all over the world.

It's funny to me how people claim that they could care less about looks, and care less about money and care less about social status.  the only thing they truly care about is personality.  That isn't their number one priority, that is their only priority.

Yet, just plain observation shows that for some odd reason people who are ugly, don't have a lot of money and aren't that high up on the richtor scale of popularity seem to all have really bad personalities.   They must hide that really well because whenever I meet them, I generally walk away thinking, "Hey I like this guy/girl.  Sincere, honest, and empathetic"

The really good looking ones, with lots of money and everyone seems to know their name and put them on a pedastol, all seem to have really great personalities.  They must hide that even better than the one's with crappy personalities because their arrogance, better than thou artness, and two faced grins sure did fool me!




Lucky for you, you don't have any better than thou artness! 

You know what's really funny to me is how people actually think they're better for lying about stuff. 

I'm sorry; this really strikes me as amusing coming from you.  Let me ask you something - in your opinion, does lying have the same meaning as withholding information?

I'm sorry; this really strikes me as amusing coming from you.  Let me ask you something - in your opinion, does lying have the same meaning as withholding information?


This reminds me of Spock's justification for "lying" as Vulcans are supposedly incapable or unwilling to lie...

I met a few fat ugly girls on purpose, because I really liked their personality and can always use more friends. 

However, people misrepresenting themselves was the biggest deal breaker for me.  People would misrepresent themselves in so many different ways.  Usually they'd show you a picture of themselves before they got fat and then when you met them they'd be offended that you didnt' find them attractive. Was this their problem or yours??? If you liked someone enough to meet them in real life, don't you think that the personality you met online was the same personality in person??? OR ARE YOU REALLY THAT SHALLOW :-\\



However, I found out in a hurry why people misrepresented themselves so often.  It's simple really.  In the internet dating world, you have to be 100% perfect.  You have to be extremely good looking, have a great job, have no baggage whatsoever, be extremely intelligent, do all of the fun things that people love to do, and be exactly an 11/10 in your potential dates eyes.
   

You do not have 100% perfect... Unless of course you are interested in having shallow people look at your profile, who aren't interested in anything but perfection (YET THEY DO NOT WANT TO WORK for it)  THEN THEY SEEM A LITTLE BUMMED WHEN THAT ISN'T REALITY ::)


People were constantly looking for the deal breaker in your profile.  They'd see your picture, "oh he's cute".  Then see that you have a college degree in history education, "Oh, he's smart too".  Then see you have a good job, "ooh, neat a top insurance agent for Nation wide".  Then see that you only drink on occasion, "oh, I go out and get plastered every weekend, he's not for me".  Or, they'd find something else they didn't like about you and that'd be it.

Who are we talking about here??? You or do you know what others thought of your ad????


So you almost had to misrepresent yourself if you wanted a date.  You had to find out what it was that women wanted and go with it.  Hell I know some of the smartest, nicest and most sincere guys that dress like bad boys and act like bafoons because they know that's what girls like.  They hate dressing that way and worse yet, hate acting that way, but it does get them a girlfriend.

I haven't brought myself to that level yet, but I'm beginning to wonder.

NEW'S FLASH - dating (real life of internet) YOU HAVE TO WORK AT... If you aren't good at one; yah probably ain't going to be good at the other.  And that's the truth. Harsh as it is, you have to have social skills.


Anyway, Yeah, I hated people misrepresenting themselves, especially when a 5'5 300 lbs obese woman would pass herself off as, "average" with a facial shot only picture that didn't reveal her 45 inch waist and record sized thunder thighs.

THIS AIN'T SOCIAL SKILLS - and obviously you are that SHALLOW

Does he play the harmonica while watching Tom Cruise?



Cat


And wrestling too, I'm guessing.

NEW'S FLASH - dating (real life of internet) YOU HAVE TO WORK AT... If you aren't good at one; yah probably ain't going to be good at the other.  And that's the truth. Harsh as it is, you have to have social skills.


Very good point, Sami!


And wrestling too, I'm guessing.


Wrestling can be fun though. 

Wrestling can be fun though. 


Only if you're wrestling with Tom Cruise.

Only if you're wrestling with Tom Cruise.


Are we even in the same weight class?

Are we even in the same weight class?


Probably.  Not in the same height class, though.

I did it for three years man.  I am one of those peopel that "suck" in the real life dating world, so I thought I'd give it a shot.  I'm not an unattractive guy, I'm just not a guy that does a lot of parties and a lot of bars, therefore at my tender young age, If you're not into that sorta stuff, your chances of getting a woman any other way than the internet are slim to none.  
I wonder why you suck in real life (or why you thought you would be better any other way)????  There is a lot more (better) ways to meet someone than at bars/parties - have you tried civic organizations, church (if you are into that), friends (do you have those?), taking up a sport, hobby, work.......


People will say, what about college, did you go? Yeah I went, and I know the thinking is, "bingo", right?  Well, yeah, but where I went to college it wasn't quite that easy.  I went to a college that in all reality is set up for people that missed college the first time around.  The large percentage of my classmates were 30-40 year old married men and women, or single moms.  I don't know about you, but at 21-24 years old, an overweight single mother of 3 doesn't exactly appeal. 

These are typical first date questions, what is wrong with them????  Are you ashamed?  How else are people to find out the real thing behind the door/



So, I did the internet dating thing.  I can't say I was 0% successful because I actually met some very nice girls, and made some friends.  I also met some very not nice girls too.  I found that every attractive girl on an internet dating site is usually 1 of 3 things.  A - She is a girl with a boyfriend, but she needs her ego stroked as much as possible.  She needs to find as many guys as she can that are attracted to her as possible.  She'll have little disputes with her boyfriend, go out with you, kiss you, maybe do more and then never talk to you again.  B - She's a complete psycho. She's a sadist, mean, cold, heartless psycho.  Thos e are always fun.  C - She's single because she wants to be.  She could go out and get any guy she wants anytime she wants him, but she chooses to be single and she's just there for friends. These are the same answer you would find in real life.  No matter what, there can always be rejection.

Only if you're wrestling with Tom Cruise.


Ewwww!

Though in all honesty, I could probably kick his ass.

However, people misrepresenting themselves was the biggest deal breaker for me.  People would misrepresent themselves in so many different ways.  Usually they'd show you a picture of themselves before they got fat and then when you met them they'd be offended that you didnt' find them attractive. 



You are so right that people misrepresent themselves all the time. In fact, there are people on this very board who misrepresent themselves.



Cat

Lucky for you, you don't have any better than thou artness! 


No, I don't. 

I'm sorry; this really strikes me as amusing coming from you.  Let me ask you something - in your opinion, does lying have the same meaning as withholding information?


What am I lying to you about?

What am I lying to you about?


I didn't say you were lying to me.  Although, if you'd like I can ask you some direct questions and see what your answers are to possibly determine your truthfulness.

Was this their problem or yours??? If you liked someone enough to meet them in real life, don't you think that the personality you met online was the same personality in person??? OR ARE YOU REALLY THAT SHALLOW :-\\

   

You do not have 100% perfect... Unless of course you are interested in having shallow people look at your profile, who aren't interested in anything but perfection (YET THEY DO NOT WANT TO WORK for it)  THEN THEY SEEM A LITTLE BUMMED WHEN THAT ISN'T REALITY ::)

Who are we talking about here??? You or do you know what others thought of your ad????

NEW'S FLASH - dating (real life of internet) YOU HAVE TO WORK AT... If you aren't good at one; yah probably ain't going to be good at the other.  And that's the truth. Harsh as it is, you have to have social skills.
THIS AIN'T SOCIAL SKILLS - and obviously you are that SHALLOW


It wasn't about their personality though.  It was about their picture. They showed me a picture that obviously wasn't how they looked now.  As far as the personality goes, yeah, it was essentially the same.  And no, I'm not shallow, I'm human.  :)

I'm not exactly sure what exactly your asking.  

I do work at it, or at least I did for a long time.   I do have social skills.  I actually have excellent social skills.  I have many friends and I have had many job opportunities that I have taken, because of my social skills.  WHat happens is, I'm honest about not being attracted to obseity and single moms and all of a sudden I go from being this guy that everyone likes to the shallowist piece of garbage that ever lived.   I hate to tell you this, but like I told someone else, everyone has standards.  Everyone has likes and dislikes.  The difference is, I'm honest about it.

Am I shallow because I am honestly and heartfully NOT attracted to certain things?  Would I really be all that more liberating or a better person if I were to date someone I could never fall in love with because I could never, under any circumstances be attracted to them?  Go on and think your 100,000 times better than me, but your not.   There's someone out there in the world, regardless of how great of a personality they had, how open of a mind they had and how big of a heart they had, you wouldn't want to go out with them because of the way they looked.

Now, do I have to have a perfect little barbie doll without a single flaw? No, I don't.  However, I know what I want and within reason I want it.  What the problem here is, is that I state what I don't want and to have "don't wants" seems to be a crime.

You show me a person that has no standards, and I'lll show you a liar.

I think it's good that you are honest, but it may behoove you to acquire a bit of tact as well.

 
I wonder why you suck in real life (or why you thought you would be better any other way)????  There is a lot more (better) ways to meet someone than at bars/parties - have you tried civic organizations, church (if you are into that), friends (do you have those?), taking up a sport, hobby, work.......

These are typical first date questions, what is wrong with them????  Are you ashamed?  How else are people to find out the real thing behind the door/

These are the same answer you would find in real life.  No matter what, there can always be rejection.





I'm none religious. I don't go to church and yes I've tried many of the other suggestions you posted. 

Why all the hostility towards me seriously?  Why? I don't get it.  I seriously don't get it.  I have tons of friends.  Why ask if I have friends?  WHy do you need to degrade me like that?  I don't degrade overweight people.  Infact, I hold some of them on higher than I do myself.  I JUST WON'T Date them, kiss them or sleep with them.  That makes me a terrible person?  Come on, be somewhat fair.

It's like a broken record in here......

I didn't say you were lying to me.  Although, if you'd like I can ask you some direct questions and see what your answers are to possibly determine your truthfulness.


I don't get it.  Is this a ploy to find out if I'm a huge fat guy myself and am hypocritical in what I say?  I can see why you would think this.  Personally I find it very hypocritical when someone is the very epitimy of what they complain about.  

I think it's good that you are honest, but it may behoove you to acquire a bit of tact as well.


Learn to lie to people?

Learn to lie to people?


No, learn to word things better.  Do what Spock does.

No, learn to word things better.  Do what Spock does.


This all came about because when I insulted someone I used their body type as part of the insult.  This better have happened if I said, "Stupid muscular piece of trash" too. 

This all came about because when I insulted someone I used their body type as part of the insult.  This better have happened if I said, "Stupid muscular piece of trash" too. 




I think the stupid muscular piece of trash would probably have shoved your head up your ass if you had said it to their face :D

There are more polite ways to reject people.  That is what tact is about.

I don't get it.  Is this a ploy to find out if I'm a huge fat guy myself and am hypocritical in what I say?  I can see why you would think this.  Personally I find it very hypocritical when someone is the very epitimy of what they complain about.  


I'm not complaining about anything.  I know you're not a huge fat guy.  You're a terrible speller though.  Not a complaint, just fact.  :D

And if you're all that you claim to be and can't find your perfect (or close to perfect) mate, you either need to take a break or re-evaluate yourself.

I think the stupid muscular piece of trash would probably have shoved your head up your ass if you had said it to their face :D

There are more polite ways to reject people.  That is what tact is about.


Oh, in the situation I was very polite.  In fact, every single time the girl said to me that they had never had anyone ever be as nice in their rejection as I was.    Out of all the times I rejected someone, I was only mean about it once.  I was mean because I had been violated and I didn't appreciate it at all.  I talked to the girl online, she showed me a picture she said was recent that was actually about 3 years old.  I drove 2 1/2 hours to meet her and then when I met her she wasn't anything like the picture she had showed me. 

I could have just gotten into my car and drove straight back home, but instead, I still paid her way into a movie and then supper afterwards.  The question popped up if I would like to see her again as we drove back to the mall parking lot and I said, "Yes, but as friends only".  Then she became very angry with me and started in on me about not even knowing her yet and not really giving her a chance.  That's when I became very angry and let her have it. 

So yes, I have to admit that one time. 

Every other time it's been a real simple process.  If they're a mean person, I'll simply tell them that I don't think it'd be good for us to see each other any more and that usually is enough.  IF they're a nice person, yet someone I am not romantically or sexually attracted to, I'll tell them that I think friendship is as far as we go.  Usually, they're pretty open to this and that usually turns out pretty nice.  Every once in a while they'll nag you until you admit that you're not physically attracted to them.  Then when the blue moon comes up they'll ask you why, and yes, a few times I have come right out and said, "because your fat".  I'm sorry if you find this mean or this shallow, but I certainly do not and never will.  That is the reason why I didn't want to date them, so really, I don't see any other way out of it besides lying. 

^ I suppose that's fair. 

I'm not complaining about anything.  I know you're not a huge fat guy.  You're a terrible speller though.  Not a complaint, just fact.   :D

And if you're all that you claim to be and can't find your perfect (or close to perfect) mate, you either need to take a break or re-evaluate yourself.


I know you're not complaining about it, I was the one complaining about it.   I was simply saying that there are a lot of really obese people who complain about obese people being the only people they can find to date.  As my father once told me growing up, "Never expect more than what you have to offer and never settle for less than what you can give".

If I claim to be all that I say I am?  Where do you think I'm being dishonest in anything I've said thus far on this subject?

secondly, I could very well be a huge fat guy, you don't know that. 

Thirdly, I have taken a break from it.  Infact, I'll never go back to internet dating again, :)

^ I suppose that's fair. 


Oh believe that I've been the victim of circumstance too!  My friends set me up on this date with this woman who I found very physically unattractive.  I at first had a pretty good time with her.  She was fun and someone whom I thought that I'd call a good friend on down the line.  However, we met up with some of her friends at this little townhouse restaurant and I got laid into like no other.  We ate at the buffet and I grabbed a big salad and some lean chicken.  As soon as I got back to the table I ate and kept on getting really weird stares.  After a while, I didn't go back to the buffet and that's when they really started to lay into me.

I'm not going to bore you to death with detail after detail of the story, but lets just say that I left there that night a premadonna(yes I know dude, I have no spell check on this computer!) meathead who only cared about the way my body looked and nothing else.

I'm the kinda guy who writes stories that fill the heart and the mind, and I cried the other day when I saw a dead puppy on the side of the road.  Just because I enjoy taking care of my body, doesn't make in 100% insensitive.

It's like a broken record in here......
Yah think ::)

No, learn to word things better.  Do what Spock does.



Live long and prosper?  ???




Cat

Yah think ::)


I'm Sorry for using a someone's body type against them in a verbal insult.  Ok?  Seriously, I didn't mean to offend anyone when I did it.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm about to get a taste of my own medicine.

After I finish some work, I'm headed to the gym to lift weights.  If someone doesn't try and cut me down and make me feel 1/2 inch tall by asking, "Why do you care so much about the way you look?"  It'll be a first.

Live long and prosper?  ???




Cat
Seems logical to me Captain????

So it would seem???

or my favorite  "It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want."


:D

It wasn't about their personality though.  It was about their picture. They showed me a picture that obviously wasn't how they looked now.  As far as the personality goes, yeah, it was essentially the same.  And no, I'm not shallow, I'm human.  :) this is makes no sense... If a person is likable one way, then they should be likeable.  Love/ and hopefully ATTRACTION should not happen like BANG (otherwise it is just a one night stand - relationships need to be built from a starting point).


I do work at it, or at least I did for a long time.  I do have social skills.  I actually have excellent social skills.  I have many friends and I have had many job opportunities that I have taken, because of my social skills.  WHat happens is, I'm honest about not being attracted to obseity and single moms and all of a sudden I go from being this guy that everyone likes to the shallowist piece of garbage that ever lived.  I hate to tell you this, but like I told someone else, everyone has standards.  Everyone has likes and dislikes.  The difference is, I'm honest about it.
If you have friends - then they should be able to help you meet more people and so on and so forth.  Many job opportunities? (RED FLAG- you only need one stable job; Many means you are never happy).



Am I shallow because I am honestly and heartfully NOT attracted to certain things?  Would I really be all that more liberating or a better person if I were to date someone I could never fall in love with because I could never, under any circumstances be attracted to them?  Go on and think your 100,000 times better than me, but your not.  There's someone out there in the world, regardless of how great of a personality they had, how open of a mind they had and how big of a heart they had, you wouldn't want to go out with them because of the way they looked.

Now, do I have to have a perfect little barbie doll without a single flaw? No, I don't.  However, I know what I want and within reason I want it.  What the problem here is, is that I state what I don't want and to have "don't wants" seems to be a crime.

You show me a person that has no standards, and I'lll show you a liar.
Maybe everyone has standards, but not all of us base our standards on looks alone.  My standards include, hard worker, intelligent to talk to, agreeing personalities; looks change through age, horrendous accidental disfigurement, and medical treatments, so I would not ever want to base "my" (and I said my) relationship on looks.  So having standards is not what is wrong.  What is wrong - is that you blatantly pointed out a particular physical trait and chose to use it, in an OPEN FORUM.  Then you keep hounding on that same trait (SHALLOW by definition is lacking in depth of knowledge, thought or feeling ) - that is very SHALLOW.  If you did not know there would be such an out cry, then you might want to review any PR skills you have and wait to post another offensive, discriminatory post.

Captain Spock: Mr. Scott, I understand you are experiencing difficulties with the warp drive?
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: There's nothing wrong with the bloody...
Captain Spock: Mr. Scott, if we return to Spacedock, then not only will we lost the chance to discover who is behind all this, then it is also likely that we will never see Captain Kirk or Doctor McCoy alive again.
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: Could take weeks, sir.

See?  If Spock can "lie", you can too!

this is makes no sense... If a person is likable one way, then they should be likeable.  Love/ and hopefully ATTRACTION should not happen like BANG (otherwise it is just a one night stand - relationships need to be built from a starting point).

I tried to date three, count them three obese women in my life.  1 of which, even if she had been skinny, I still wouldn't have liked at all.  She had the worst personality I have ever been around in my entire life.   The other two, I liked quite a bit.  Infact, the one I liked so much, I still spend time with her on a regular basis.  The problem was is that I was never attracted to her.  I never felt any romantic vibe or a want to make love to her(although I did once).  It just never was there, and yes, the reason was because she was fat.  I find fat to be very unattractive and a lot of the reason is just as much historical as it is psychological.

I also concur with you that love and attraction, don't always happen BANG, right away.  However, you don't really "learn" to be attracted to someone, and I've found out from experiences, three times mind you, that you can't force yourself to be attracted to something that you're not attracted to.  It's sorta like foods in a way.   You can't make yourself like something that you can barely choke down.   You just can't do it.  No matter what you tell yourself between logic and guilt, when it's all said and done, you're still don't like it.  

If you have friends - then they should be able to help you meet more people and so on and so forth.  Many job opportunities? (RED FLAG- you only need one stable job; Many means you are never happy).

Are you calling me a liar?  Because I find what you're saying very insulting.  You state, "if you have friends" as if maybe I don't, or as if maybe the people I call friends, really aren't worthy of being called friends in the first place.   A, I have friends.  B, I have very good friends that care a great deal about me and me a great deal about them.

I don't live my life based on unwritten rules.  Many jobs for me does not mean that I'm unhappy.   It means that I'm a lone wolf and like new experiences and traveling around.  It means that many of my job opportunities have been seasonal jobs, as I have worked as teacher,  as a fertilizer deliverer and had many freelance writing jobs as well.   You tell me not to be so quick to judge and then turn around and have no problem doing it to me.  



Maybe everyone has standards, but not all of us base our standards on looks alone.  My standards include, hard worker, intelligent to talk to, agreeing personalities; looks change through age, horrendous accidental disfigurement, and medical treatments, so I would not ever want to base "my" (and I said my) relationship on looks.  So having standards is not what is wrong.  What is wrong - is that you blatantly pointed out a particular physical trait and chose to use it, in an OPEN FORUM.  Then you keep hounding on that same trait (SHALLOW by definition is lacking in depth of knowledge, thought or feeling ) - that is very SHALLOW.   If you did not know there would be such an out cry, then you might want to review any PR skills you have and wait to post another offensive, discriminatory post.


I do not base my standards on looks alone either.  I admire hard workers a great deal.  In fact in high school, I was an award winner of being the hardest worker on the team my freshman, junior and senior years.   Not to mention at classnight, I was the reciever of an award for the most dedicated and devoted person towards a particular field or subject in my class.  I don't tell you these things to brag about myself, I tell you these things because obviously you have an picture painted of me that doesn't look anything like me at all.   Hard work is one of the number one things I look for in a person.

Intelligent to talk to and agreeing personalities is also something I look for in a woman as well.  Infact it it number 1 on my priorities list.

Personality is head and heels above looks on my list, but that doesn't mean that looks isn't on my list.  YOu say that looks fade, ok, maybe they do.  So does my ability to lift weights and run.  Should I give up both right now because down the road in 50 years, I might not be able to do either one?  Or should I enjoy it while it last?

You act as if because I do not want to date someone based on the way they look, as if I'm a terrible individual with no feelings whatsoever.  Believe me, I've turned down a beauty or two in my life, because I didn't like the way she treated other people.

Also as I said before, there isn't a person alive without standards, and yes, let me be more specific this time.  There isn't a person alive without physical standards.   There's always something.  Whether it be fat, short, tall, too skinny, hair, facial hair, baldness, or something.  There is always something physical that someone finds unattractive.  So this whole, there are people that will date anyone as long as they like there personality, is nothing more than a fantasy to try and guilt other people into giving people they don't find attractive sexual and romantic chance with them.

I too have standards.

Does the standard "she has a pulse" sound discriminatory?

;D

I too have standards.

Does the standard "she has a pulse" sound discriminatory?

;D
;D ;D ;D

I too have standards.

Does the standard "she has a pulse" sound discriminatory?

;D


You're discriminating against the dead. :D

You're discriminating against the dead. :D


Necrophobe.

Eddie Gein would be pissed!

Word up to anyone that is young.  Do NOT be nice.  It is the worst thing you can be in the dating world.  The absolute worst. 

Word up to anyone that is young.  Do NOT be nice.  It is the worst thing you can be in the dating world.  The absolute worst. 



Now that's just a sour attitude to have. 

I too have standards.

Does the standard "she has a pulse" sound discriminatory?

;D


Do I take the high road and quote the old programmer's joke: "The wonderful thing about standards is that there are so many of them from which to choose."

...or do I take the low road, look in the mirror, and say "Standards?  Standards are for people with options."

(Nobody said my choice of roads was an exclusive-OR kind of option.  Hey, I've got no dog in this fight; I gave up dating some time after college.  Grapes were probably sour anyways...)

But I did like that Venn diagram.  I'll see Rice_Cube's post, but instead of dumping fuel onto the flamewar via "Myspace Angles" (y'all know the demotivator I'm talking about), I'll raise with the male version of "Why I Am Going To Become A Cat Lady", which is this:

http://i43.tinypic.com/346xjrl.jpg

- Giving Up

Yes, that's a real Google Trends result.  Try it yourself.  I don't know whether to laugh, cry, fap, or open another beer.  Then again, that's also not an exclusive-OR kind of choice.

Ha!  It's on the rise ;D  Clever.

I met my husband on an internet dating site.  We've been together for five years and married 4.  I couldn't be happier.

I also met a lot of great guys that I dated before I met my husband.  I had a lot of fun with it.

Soul Asylum, I don't really know how else to say this...but maybe it's you that's the problem, not the women you're meeting.  :-\\


Indeed, it does happen for some people.  What to consider:

However, the vast majority find tedium and frustration at best, deceit and danger at the worst.  

Put it to you this way -- If you're an attractive female in her twenties or thirties, you will have no problem meeting people on the net.  For that matter, you will have no problem meeting people at the bar...or the public library!  

For guys like me, well, it takes Job's patience and Rockefeller's money to keep those profiles active...and as has happened before to me...you finally do meet the "right" woman and six months later she's whining about "not getting her needs met."  Well, honey, I done my best in this heeere reee-lationship, so I need you to not let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!
:P


Word up to anyone that is young.  Do NOT be nice.  It is the worst thing you can be in the dating world.  The absolute worst. 



It's the Catch-22 for a man in the meat market, this goes for young-whippersnappers, and old farts like myself alike:
If you play it nice, you're over solicitous pussy who supplicates to a woman's wants and needs, and that's not what women really want.
If you play it cool, you're an insensitive lout who would rather work late or shoot pool with the guys than go to that chick flick, and you don't care about a woman's needs.

You can't "win," it's all a bunch of crap.

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/13/jerk.gif

I too have standards.

Does the standard "she has a pulse" sound discriminatory?

;D



ROTFLMAO!!!!!



Cat

You should register, it'll be fun 8)


stop inviting scary people to my boards!!!  >:( 

Soul Asylum, I don't really know how else to say this...but maybe it's you that's the problem, not the women you're meeting.  :-\\



SoulAsylum is king a-hole supreme and we are better served if we just ignore someone as closed minded and self serving as he is....  ::)

Maybe he should take up the harmonica.  I love Blues Traveler, he plays a mean harmonica.


I never really got the feel of the harmonica....I mean... what do they do with all that spit?  ;)

Does he play the harmonica while watching Tom Cruise?



Cat


but not angelina Jolie.... cuz she's insest....apparently  ;D

Oh come on!  Don't you think based on his responses here that SoulAsylum's a perfect bachelor candidate for all the ladiez? :D


we should all be so lucky... hell I'd rather date you  :P

You are so right that people misrepresent themselves all the time. In fact, there are people on this very board who misrepresent themselves.



Cat


who?  :o

;)

It wasn't about their personality though.  It was about their picture. They showed me a picture that obviously wasn't how they looked now.  As far as the personality goes, yeah, it was essentially the same.  And no, I'm not shallow, I'm human.  :)

I'm not exactly sure what exactly your asking.  

I do work at it, or at least I did for a long time.   I do have social skills.  I actually have excellent social skills.  I have many friends and I have had many job opportunities that I have taken, because of my social skills.  WHat happens is, I'm honest about not being attracted to obseity and single moms and all of a sudden I go from being this guy that everyone likes to the shallowist piece of garbage that ever lived.   I hate to tell you this, but like I told someone else, everyone has standards.  Everyone has likes and dislikes.  The difference is, I'm honest about it.

Am I shallow because I am honestly and heartfully NOT attracted to certain things?  Would I really be all that more liberating or a better person if I were to date someone I could never fall in love with because I could never, under any circumstances be attracted to them?  Go on and think your 100,000 times better than me, but your not.   There's someone out there in the world, regardless of how great of a personality they had, how open of a mind they had and how big of a heart they had, you wouldn't want to go out with them because of the way they looked.

Now, do I have to have a perfect little barbie doll without a single flaw? No, I don't.  However, I know what I want and within reason I want it.  What the problem here is, is that I state what I don't want and to have "don't wants" seems to be a crime.

You show me a person that has no standards, and I'lll show you a liar.



you're shallow because you would hold the fact that a woman used a picture of when she felt good about herself against her... okay so she doesn't look like that now... so freaking what.... as sami said before you decide to meet someone for internet dating don't you spend time chatting to see if you have mutual interest

or do you just look at  a pic, go "Hubba-Hubba"  (or was it Va-Va-Va-Voooooommmmm!!!") and decide instantly to meet?

If you decide to meet based on the pic alone that's one thing but if you engage in dialogue and use that as your basis for meeting then you find out she's overweight and dump her because of it? That's shallow....

people who go online to find dates are genuinely already somewhat insecure so of course they are going to do everything to put their best foot forward....the hope is that some will get to know them and be willing to see past the current image if everyone put up an ugly pic those sites probably wouldn't work... and.... hello... in the days of facebook and myspace you should be able to see a range of peoples pics before you ever date them..... you just have to work a little bit...

I'm none religious. I don't go to church and yes I've tried many of the other suggestions you posted. 

Why all the hostility towards me seriously?  Why? I don't get it.  I seriously don't get it.  I have tons of friends.  Why ask if I have friends?  WHy do you need to degrade me like that?  I don't degrade overweight people.  Infact, I hold some of them on higher than I do myself.  I JUST WON'T Date them, kiss them or sleep with them.  That makes me a terrible person?  Come on, be somewhat fair.







maybe you can ask some of your many friends to read the boards...and maybe they can explain to you why most of us think you're an ass not very likable.....

No, learn to word things better.  Do what Spock does.



perhaps rice's attempts at stirring the pot have grown too subtle  ;D



BE SPOCK!!!! its a good motto tho  me likey!  :P

  "Does this make my butt look big..?"

  I wonder what Spock would say...

  Having a trophy was more important to me when I was younger.  A friend and I were talking about it once and his point was the importance of having a partner to go through life with, whether you're gay or straight, ugly or beautiful, heavy or thin, &etc.  He's an Indian immigrant so he put it in this way: "you're not always going to be young.  When you're an old man who's going to bring you a glass of water?"  It sounds chauvinistic, but I understood the point he was making...

we should all be so lucky... hell I'd rather date you  :P


Q, I'm not really sure if that was a compliment or insult, but I've had a delicious breakfast so I'm not really worried either way.  Just pointing this out.  :D

Oh yeah, I've dated women from this site.  8)

"you're not always going to be young.  When you're an old man who's going to bring you a glass of water?" 

As long as she has a great set, who cares?

;D

Q, I'm not really sure if that was a compliment or insult, but I've had a delicious breakfast so I'm not really worried either way.  Just pointing this out.  :D

Oh yeah, I've dated women from this site.   8)


take it however you want  :-*

As long as she has a great set, who cares?

;D


^ Mind of I borrow this for a caption?

http://media.kansascity.com/smedia/2009/06/09/13/103-bush.embedded.prod_affiliate.81.jpg

As long as she has a great set, who cares?
:D

you're shallow because you would hold the fact that a woman used a picture of when she felt good about herself against her... okay so she doesn't look like that now... so freaking what.... as sami said before you decide to meet someone for internet dating don't you spend time chatting to see if you have mutual interest



It is reasonable to expect a person on a dating website to post a flattering photo of herself/himself; however, it is deceitful to post a photo taken when you were 30 if you are now 50.  In fact, that right there would discourage me from even wanting to get to know such a person.

I just hate this pop-culture bullying message that you're supposed to be young and beautiful forever.  If you're middle aged, then just be middle aged.  Would you really want to date a man who would only accept you if you were half your true age?

As long as she has a great set, who cares?

;D


  I'm not going to argue with that... :P

As long as she has a great set, who cares?

;D


I couldn't agree more.  Good dental habits are very important!

I couldn't agree more.  Good dental habits are very important!


There's a great set!

http://s7d5.scene7.com/is/image/Teavana/XTS%20SZ%20BC%20VIN_d?$cses$

   I'm not going to argue with that... :P


  My 1996 RCA ColorTrack has lasted longer than any relationship...

  http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2006-6/1193336/RCA.jpeg

  Never underestimate the importance of a good set...

   My 1996 RCA ColorTrack has lasted longer than any relationship...

   http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2006-6/1193336/RCA.jpeg

   Never underestimate the importance of a good set...



I have one better. I bought my big console t.v. (that you can't get anymore) back in 1988 from Montgomery Wards.  :o :o :o :o  There was one time about 12 years ago or so that it had to go in the shop. It took the guy a LONG time to figure out what was wrong with it but he finally did and it is still going pretty strong. I really dread the day it dies because, like I said, you can't get consoles anymore and I have no idea where we are going to put all the crap stuff we have on it-like our DVD/VCR player, dish box, a few photos and knickknacks.


Ok, I just went off topic so sue me.  :D ;D ;D ;D



Cat

I have one better. I bought my big console t.v. (that you can't get anymore) back in 1988 from Montgomery Wards.  :o :o :o :o  There was one time about 12 years ago or so that it had to go in the shop. It took the guy a LONG time to figure out what was wrong with it but he finally did and it is still going pretty strong. I really dread the day it dies because, like I said, you can't get consoles anymore and I have no idea where we are going to put all the crap stuff we have on it-like our DVD/VCR player, dish box, a few photos and knickknacks.


Ok, I just went off topic so sue me.  :D ;D ;D ;D



Cat


Sounds like a bumper sticker:

"I got my set at Montgomery Ward's"
:P

^ Mind of I borrow this for a caption?

http://media.kansascity.com/smedia/2009/06/09/13/103-bush.embedded.prod_affiliate.81.jpg

As long as she has a great set, who cares?
:D


My caption would be... Schwinggggg!!!!!!!!

My caption would be... Schwinggggg!!!!!!!!


Something tells me George Herbert Walker Bush has never uttered the phrase "Schwing" in his life!

Something tells me George Herbert Walker Bush has never uttered the phrase "Schwing" in his life!


Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture.

Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture.


Nope, not gonna do it!

:(

Something tells me George Herbert Walker Bush has never uttered the phrase "Schwing" in his life!


I dunno.  When he came home from WW2 after getting shot down twice, returning to Barbara, I bet he had a schwing moment.  ;D

I dunno.  When he came home from WW2 after getting shot down twice, returning to Barbara, I bet he had a schwing moment.   ;D


Babs? Maybe....mmmmmaybe not!

Could've been all scwinged-out by those Polynesian girls!
8)