...so us Nebraskans can get rather creative when it comes to finding ways to have a little fun.  ;)


Suspect arrested for greasy imprints in Neb. town

The Associated Press
Saturday, November 22, 2008; 12:15 AM

OMAHA, Neb. -- Police have arrested a man suspected of leaving greasy, graphic imprints on the windows of stores, churches and schools in a small Nebraska town. A 35-year-old man was caught in the act by police early Wednesday morning, Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said Friday. The man hasn't been charged yet, but authorities believe he is the vandal some townsfolk have dubbed the "Butt Bandit."

Beginning in spring of 2007, a mystery vandal visited businesses at night, pressing his naked behind _ sometimes his groin, sometimes both _ on windows. The marks were made with lotion or petroleum jelly, and while police had earlier worried copycat criminals were getting involved, Scott said they now believe it's "the act of a lone deviant."

"This isn't normal behavior for Valentine, Neb.," Scott said. "It's an embarrassment for the hardworking people who live here."

The man was spotted by police about 3:30 a.m. Wednesday and arrested without incident, Scott said. The suspect appears to be the same man caught on a surveillance camera at the middle school last year, he said.

Valentine, a town of about 2,650 in remote north-central Nebraska, lies near the scenic Niobrara River. The city was named one of the top "wilderness" towns in the country last year by National Geographic Adventure magazine.

People from around the country send Valentine's Day cards to the city's post office so they can be mailed out with the word "Valentine" stamped on them.

The past two summers, the bandit struck business after business, window after window.

He stopped over the fall and winter.

During one particularly brazen session, virtually all the windows at a local hotel were imprinted.





And before any of you smartasses even ask,

NO.
IT WAS NOT ME. >:( >:( >:(

(Although I do wish I would've thought of it first.  :D)

You need to check your worship thread, foo'.  I posted this a couple of days ago and asked if it was you. ;D

NO.
IT WAS NOT ME. >:( >:( >:(


He's telling the truth.

We were too busy T-Bagging frat boys in Co;Mo.  ;D

You need to check your worship thread, foo'.  I posted this a couple of days ago and asked if it was you. ;D


Aw, nuts...you're right!

There was a brief article about that in today's paper, and I'm sure you can imagine that my day at work didn't pass without at least a couple of comments about this.

I knew I saw it somewhere before...

(beats head against the wall over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again)

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/10/splat.gif

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/10/splat.gif


Just remember, I know where you live.

So, if you go outside one day and find a set of greasy ass prints on the window of your Jetta, well...I know nothing!  ;D

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/14/sign10.gif
My funny Valentine...or is that fanny Valentine?


So when they hauled him to the station to get printed, did he drop his drawers?

I can see why he'd stop in the fall.  It gets pretty nippy out there when the wind howls off the prairie.  No one wants to explain to the ER doc how he got a frostbitten wiener, let alone mention his sack was stuck to the fender of Ford pickup 'till sunrise!
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/10/sqcold.gif

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/14/sign10.gif
My funny Valentine...or is that fanny Valentine?


So when they hauled him to the station to get printed, did he drop his drawers?

I can see why he'd stop in the fall.  It gets pretty nippy out there when the wind howls off the prairie.  No one wants to explain to the ER doc how he got a frostbitten wiener, let alone mention his sack was stuck to the fender of Ford pickup 'till sunrise!
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/10/sqcold.gif


Actually, Valentine is a neat little town, I've been there a couple of times.

The funny thing is, most people get their impressions of Nebraska from driving across it on Interstate 80, which is one of the flattest and most boring drives in the US. I always tell people that there's actually a lot of cool places in Nebraska, you just have to make an effort to find them. And actually Valentine is one of those places, as the article mentions it's located near the Niobrara River. I've taken a couple of canoe trips down the Niobrara and it's awesome.

Now as far as the butt bandito goes, well, you're right. Pressing your ham and eggs against anything metal would not be a recommended activity for a cold Nebraska winter night. You would run the risk of making your family the source of eternal embarrassment once news got out about how the county coroner had to use a spatula to scrape your ass and balls off the front of a John Deere tractor so he could haul off your frozen corpse.  :D

Actually, Valentine is a neat little town, I've been there a couple of times.

The funny thing is, most people get their impressions of Nebraska from driving across it on Interstate 80, which is one of the flattest and most boring drives in the US. I always tell people that there's actually a lot of cool places in Nebraska, you just have to make an effort to find them. And actually Valentine is one of those places, as the article mentions it's located near the Niobrara River. I've taken a couple of canoe trips down the Niobrara and it's awesome.

Now as far as the butt bandito goes, well, you're right. Pressing your ham and eggs against anything metal would not be a recommended activity for a cold Nebraska winter night. You would run the risk of making your family the source of eternal embarrassment once news got out about how the county coroner had to use a spatula to scrape your ass and balls off the front of a John Deere tractor so he could haul off your frozen corpse.  :D


I agree with the whole I-80 thing.  Once you hit the Wyoming/Nebraska border, and up until you hit the Mississippi....boringest effin' drive EVAR.

Kansas is worse though. ;)

 
Beginning in spring of 2007, a mystery vandal visited businesses at night, pressing his naked behind _ sometimes his groin, sometimes both _ on windows. The marks were made with lotion or petroleum jelly, and while police had earlier worried copycat criminals were getting involved, Scott said they now believe it's "the act of a lone deviant."


Did this bandit, perchance, have antlers, and was he wearing a Star Trek uniform?

http://www.hackcanada.com/canadian/zines/spacemoose/pressed_ham.gif

- "Pressed Ham", Space Moose, 1998

Life imitates art, even if it takes ten years.

I agree with the whole I-80 thing.  Once you hit the Wyoming/Nebraska border, and up until you hit the Mississippi....boringest effin' drive EVAR.

Kansas is worse though. ;)


Transcontinental travelers tell me traversing the prairie provinces of Canada can drive you mad!

Kansas is worse though. ;)


When I was still a road driver at Yellow one of our routes was I-70 from KC to Denver, once you got into Western Kansas it was the most boring drive ever. All I can say is thank God for satellite radio.  ;D

Actually, Valentine is a neat little town, I've been there a couple of times.

The funny thing is, most people get their impressions of Nebraska from driving across it on Interstate 80, which is one of the flattest and most boring drives in the US. I always tell people that there's actually a lot of cool places in Nebraska, you just have to make an effort to find them. And actually Valentine is one of those places, as the article mentions it's located near the Niobrara River. I've taken a couple of canoe trips down the Niobrara and it's awesome.

Now as far as the butt bandito goes, well, you're right. Pressing your ham and eggs against anything metal would not be a recommended activity for a cold Nebraska winter night. You would run the risk of making your family the source of eternal embarrassment once news got out about how the county coroner had to use a spatula to scrape your ass and balls off the front of a John Deere tractor so he could haul off your frozen corpse.  :D
My grandfather was born there.

When I was still a road driver at Yellow one of our routes was I-70 from KC to Denver, once you got into Western Kansas it was the most boring drive ever. All I can say is thank God for satellite radio.  ;D

My friend from Edmonton told me the Canadians put extra curves in prairie highways so truckers wouldn't set the steering wheel straight, put a brick on the pedal, and catch some shut-eye between Winnipeg and Saskatoon!
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/09/sleep.gif

When I was still a road driver at Yellow one of our routes was I-70 from KC to Denver, once you got into Western Kansas it was the most boring drive ever. All I can say is thank God for satellite radio.  ;D


When we first moved out here, we drove from Denver to Kansas City on I-70.  I took over at some point in Kansas while Rice napped.  Three hours later, he woke up, looked around, and asked, "Have we moved AT ALL?"


My friend from Edmonton told me the Canadians put extra curves in prairie highways so truckers wouldn't set the steering wheel straight, put a brick on the pedal, and catch some shut-eye between Winnipeg and Saskatoon!
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/09/sleep.gif


Seriously, if it is as bad as the drives through Kansas or Nebraska, I could see why they did the curves. ;D

When we first moved out here, we drove from Denver to Kansas City on I-70.  I took over at some point in Kansas while Rice napped.  Three hours later, he woke up, looked around, and asked, "Have we moved AT ALL?"


Another guy I know who's from Austin said, "What's all this goin' to other states all the time you people do up here (New England)?  In Texas, you drive for five hours and you're still where you started!"
;D

Another guy I know who's from Austin said, "What's all this goin' to other states all the time you people do up here (New England)?  In Texas, you drive for five hours and you're still where you started!"
;D


It's totally true. :D

Oh yeah, we took I-40 through the little panhandle of Texas.  Even that was obnoxious, and that was only a three hour drive!

It's totally true. :D

Oh yeah, we took I-40 through the little panhandle of Texas.  Even that was obnoxious, and that was only a three hour drive!


You think that's bad? Try taking US 54 from Wichita to Liberal, Kansas, through the Oklahoma and Texas panhandles, down to Tucumcari, New Mexico. That's a good 300 miles of boring two-lane highway, and I used to have to run it at least once a week.  :P

You think that's bad? Try taking US 54 from Wichita to Liberal, Kansas, through the Oklahoma and Texas panhandles, down to Tucumcari, New Mexico. That's a good 300 miles of boring two-lane highway, and I used to have to run it at least once a week.  :P


Ah, but Tucumcari is awesome.  Or at least the name is. :D

I live in Lincoln, Nebraska... http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/mgwhore.gif

And I get way too creative when it comes to fun! Lol.

Ha ha ha!

I live in Lincoln, Nebraska... http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/mgwhore.gif

And I get way too creative when it comes to fun! Lol.

Ha ha ha!
Cool!

I'm from Waverly originally.  :)

You think that's bad? Try taking US 54 from Wichita to Liberal, Kansas, through the Oklahoma and Texas panhandles, down to Tucumcari, New Mexico. That's a good 300 miles of boring two-lane highway, and I used to have to run it at least once a week.  :P


I would love to take that drive someday.  Driving anywhere is interesting to me the first time.  I can find patterns in monotony.  I developed the skill listening to drone and minimalist music.  I can't say driving from Liberal to Tucumari would be interesting if I had to do it every week.  Even on relatively short drives I do over and over again, I often take roundabout routes so I don't phase out while I'm driving. 

I would love to take that drive someday.  Driving anywhere is interesting to me the first time.  I can find patterns in monotony.  I developed the skill listening to drone and minimalist music.  I can't say driving from Liberal to Tucumari would be interesting if I had to do it every week.  Even on relatively short drives I do over and over again, I often take roundabout routes so I don't phase out while I'm driving. 


Same here, I can show you 20 different routes to 2 different places.

Same here, I can show you 20 different routes to 2 different places.

I avoid adventurous driving in the cities because I've found myself in neighborhoods I don't want to find myself.  It's not so much about the inhabitants as it is about the frikkin' cops!  To be blunt, if you're a white boy in certain areas and the cops see you drive by twice, they don't assume you're lost, they assume you're cruising for something...

On the other hand, I've been pulled over in East Peckerwood, U.S.A., and the local yokel inquires why I'm out on Route X if I live in Y and I'm coming from Z.  The answer, "It's a public road and what I'm doing on it is none of your damn business" won't suffice. "I'm sight-seeing" might do the trick if you're in Historic East Peckerwood during the day, but it will only incite further inquiry if it's 2 a.m. and East Peckerwood isn't particularly scenic.  I hate explaining anything to the cops, especially when there's nothing to explain.  One time I winged it and bullsh*tted the cop late one night on Route 119 in NH.  I said I was coming from Milford, rather than Andover, so he wouldn't ask me why I was in the middle of the woods rather down on Route 2!  Fortunately, encounters with the fuzz are rare for me.  I like it that way!
::)

I avoid adventurous driving in the cities because I've found myself in neighborhoods I don't want to find myself.  It's not so much about the inhabitants as it is about the frikkin' cops!  To be blunt, if you're a white boy in certain areas and the cops see you drive by twice, they don't assume you're lost, they assume you're cruising for something...

On the other hand, I've been pulled over in East Peckerwood, U.S.A., and the local yokel inquires why I'm out on Route X if I live in Y and I'm coming from Z.  The answer, "It's a public road and what I'm doing on it is none of your damn business" won't suffice. "I'm sight-seeing" might do the trick if you're in Historic East Peckerwood during the day, but it will only incite further inquiry if it's 2 a.m. and East Peckerwood isn't particularly scenic.  I hate explaining anything to the cops, especially when there's nothing to explain.  One time I winged it and bullsh*tted the cop late one night on Route 119 in NH.  I said I was coming from Milford, rather than Andover, so he wouldn't ask me why I was in the middle of the woods rather down on Route 2!  Fortunately, encounters with the fuzz are rare for me.  I like it that way!
::)


Yeah, I know what you're saying there Max.

You're lucky you're able to keep a lid on it, I've told them before, straight up 'Wutchya doin' round here son?' "Nutin' you need to know about pal." Usually they give you a funny look, surreptitiously smell the air and tell you to "Gerrouraheya"

Yeah, I know what you're saying there Max.

You're lucky you're able to keep a lid on it, I've told them before, straight up 'Wutchya doin' round here son?' "Nutin' you need to know about pal." Usually they give you a funny look, surreptitiously smell the air and tell you to "Gerrouraheya"


Small town cops late at night are the worst 'cos they've got nothing else to do and they want to show the sergeant they weren't on the nod.
::)

Small town cops late at night are the worst 'cos they've got nothing else to do and they want to show the sergeant they weren't on the nod.
::)


You know which cops scare the hell out of me? The ones who are maybe 20 or 21 years old and who have been on the job for a year or two at most. I've always been careful and try to act respectful towards cops, but I'm extra careful around the Barney Fife types, especially the ones in small towns. They seem like they have something to prove, and I'd just as soon not give them the opportunity to prove anything.  :P

You know which cops scare the hell out of me? The ones who are maybe 20 or 21 years old and who have been on the job for a year or two at most. I've always been careful and try to act respectful towards cops, but I'm extra careful around the Barney Fife types, especially the ones in small towns. They seem like they have something to prove, and I'd just as soon not give them the opportunity to prove anything.  :P


Cops that age are practically still teenagers.  When they're fresh out of the academy, they have yet to learn to prioritize.  A few times I've had cadets get all pissy about throwing the book at me for for a faulty taillight or minor moving violation.  Then they go back to the cruiser and get on the blower to the sarge, come walking back with their heads held low and say I can just go!
:P

Cops are like children. They demand respect but don't earn it.

Cops are like children. They demand respect but don't earn it.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4L7UDkPAO5I

Cool!

I'm from Waverly originally.  :)


Well, hey there!

Yes! I met another Nebraskan on here. I thought I was the only one who went on this website from Nebraska.

Well, hey there!

Yes! I met another Nebraskan on here. I thought I was the only one who went on this website from Nebraska.


Cool!

Actually I moved down to Kansas City 4 years ago but my family is still up here and I come back and visit quite frequently. As a matter-of-fact I'm at my brother's place in Lincoln right now.

(BTW, how'd you like that field goal the other night?  ;))