My brother works part-time as a janitor at the company his wife works for, and apparently they've been having a few problems. So the human resources director e-mailed this memo to all the employees. I am not making this up.





From: (name deleted)
Sent: Wednesday, October 22, 2008 3:13 PM
To: All Staff
Subject: Restroom Etiquette



Hello All,



During every New Employee Orientation, I explain that the men and women of (company name deleted) share restrooms and we do a good job of keeping the restrooms clean.



Well, recently it has become apparent that we need a refresher on using the restrooms and how you should leave them when you are finished.  On more than one occasion recently, toilets have been left unflushed, seats have been left up, trash has been left on the floor and worst of all, more than one person is leaving their poop still clinging to the sides of the toilet bowl.  That is absolutely disgusting and demonstrates a complete disrespect for your co-workers.



(company name deleted) provides everything you should need to have a nice restroom experience.  When you are finished please leave the restroom as if a customer or your grandma were to be the next one to use it after you.  This would include:

·         Making sure the toilet is flushed and the seat is down.

·         Using a Clorox wipe to clean up any pee on the floor or around the rim that missed the bowl (pee should not be on the seat, because we are all raising the seat before peeing, right guys???).

·         Using the brush to remove poop that sticks to the side and isn't washed away after flushing.  If you are a "hoverer" and don't want to touch the toilet seat with your rear, I would encourage you to wipe the toilet seat down with a Clorox wipe (just wipe the excess off with a paper towel) and sit down.  This will help with your aim and get most of your delivery into the water.

·         Washing hands and clean up water splashed around the sink.

·         Picking up trash off the floor.

·         Spraying air freshener if you stink it up.



If there is anyone that can't follow simple restroom etiquette, I would be more than happy to listen to your concerns; please schedule a meeting.  Otherwise I would like to simply ask that you are respectful of your co-workers and clean up after yourself.



Thank you,





(name deleted)
(company name deleted), Human Resources Director


I'll bet that guy really hates his job.  ;D

;D  that dude spent a lot of time composing that letter. I mean, some things need to be said, even to adults but that was way too much information.  I just noticed "TODAY" that there were Please Flush signs in our men's room. we have a lot of non-flushers there  >:(

I love this line right here:

"If there is anyone that can't follow simple restroom etiquette, I would be more than happy to listen to your concerns; please schedule a meeting."

The whole memo is totally passive-aggressive, but that line takes the cake.  ;D


What would be even funnier is if someone actually did schedule a meeting with the HR director concerning this subject. I mean, that meeting wouldn't be awkward or anything.   :o :o :o

I love this line right here:

"If there is anyone that can't follow simple restroom etiquette, I would be more than happy to listen to your concerns; please schedule a meeting."

The whole memo is totally passive-aggressive, but that line takes the cake.  ;D


What would be even funnier is if someone actually did schedule a meeting with the HR director concerning this subject. I mean, that meeting wouldn't be awkward or anything.   :o :o :o










They could schedule it in stalls 2 & 3.

Sounds like they should have a class for this company....Potty Training.  ;D

hahaah...that is so funny! ;D

The HR director is right on with that letter.  Nothing more foul than seeing someone's business left in the toilet.  Yeesh.


I love this line right here:

"If there is anyone that can't follow simple restroom etiquette, I would be more than happy to listen to your concerns; please schedule a meeting."

The whole memo is totally passive-aggressive, but that line takes the cake.  ;D


What would be even funnier is if someone actually did schedule a meeting with the HR director concerning this subject. I mean, that meeting wouldn't be awkward or anything.   :o :o :o









Yeah, I'd love to be a fly on the wall during that meeting. ;D

http://videodetective.com/photos/112/00471427_.jpg

"He doesn't know how to use the shells!"

http://videodetective.com/photos/112/00471427_.jpg

"He doesn't know how to use the shells!"


"John Spartan, please report to the human resources office..."

nice! i was wondering if anyone would get that, that movie is a hilarious lost gem.

maybe if every restaurant wasn't a taco bell, they wouldn't have to resort to the shells so much.

nice! i was wondering if anyone would get that, that movie is a hilarious lost gem.

maybe if every restaurant wasn't a taco bell, they wouldn't have to resort to the shells so much.


And I liked how they never revealed how the three seashells actually worked.

I mean, what's a cryogenically frozen 20th century Neanderthal rogue cop supposed to do?  ???

http://www.poopreport.com/Images/3shells.jpg

Somehow I imagine that the HR guy's company has a sign placed above the urinals in the men's room which reads:

Please don't eat the big white mint !


;D ;D ;D

Somehow I imagine that the HR guy's company has a sign placed above the urinals in the men's room which reads:

Please don't eat the big white mint !


;D ;D ;D


Or pineapple chunks in some places (so I've heard)

Somehow I imagine that the HR guy's company has a sign placed above the urinals in the men's room which reads:

Please don't eat the big white mint !


;D ;D ;D

There's a few bars I won't go in because it smells like they grill those things for sandwiches!
8-P

  Sounds reasonable...

Those guys are like "automaton resource directors"

Let's make every company as dreary as Motor Vehicles.
::)

Ya know, something about that letter deeply disturbs me...  "worst of all, more than one person is leaving their poop still clinging to the sides of the toilet bowl"

How do they know that more than one person is flinging the clinging doodie?

WTF?  Did they do a DNA test?

;D ;D ;D

"John Spartan, please report to the human resources office..."


Schwarzenegger was President?  :o

"John Spartan, please report to the human resources office..."


http://brownboyconspiracy.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/img_0279.jpg

Yes?  Something about placing proper OSHA-compliant notification after having performed maintenance work in the restrooms?

Ya know, something about that letter deeply disturbs me...  "worst of all, more than one person is leaving their poop still clinging to the sides of the toilet bowl"

How do they know that more than one person is flinging the clinging doodie?

WTF?  Did they do a DNA test?

;D ;D ;D


Actually, they brought in a trained forensics expert from the FBI to "sniff out" the culprit.  :o :o :o

This is why a lot of places have automatic flushing and 'power blast' toilets.


http://brownboyconspiracy.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/img_0279.jpg


Flawless victory.

http://www.guzer.com/pictures/bathroomsign.jpg

Ant

Ya know, something about that letter deeply disturbs me...  "worst of all, more than one person is leaving their poop still clinging to the sides of the toilet bowl"

How do they know that more than one person is flinging the clinging doodie?

WTF?  Did they do a DNA test?

;D ;D ;D


I didn't think of that.  I didn't want to think of that!  Thanksalot, LB!
8-P

I didn't think of that.  I didn't want to think of that!  Thanksalot, LB!
8-P


You know what's really bad? It's that HR director's job to think of stuff like that.  :o

I can only imagine that HR director standing in the bathroom, looking down at the crime scene, and then beating his head against the stall over and over and saying to himself, "I HATE MY JOB! I HATE MY JOB! I HATE MY JOB!"  ;D