http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17735987/wid/11915773?GT1=9145

According to the article, the clinic fertilized the mother's eggs with the wrong sperm.  While I acknowledge that the parents have a right to be upset that a mistake was made, I don't think it should change the way they feel about their baby.

The couple says that they have been forced to raise a child who is “not even the same race, nationality, color ... as they are.”

Being forced?  Am I the only one who is bothered by this?

They also say that “while we love Baby Jessica as our own, we are reminded of this terrible mistake each and every time we look at her; it is simply impossible to ignore.”

If that's all they see when they look at their daughter then I feel extremely bad for their daughter.  If I were in the same situation, I'd love my child unconditionally.  I would focus on everything that's great about her instead of harping on the mistake that was made during her conception.  I seriously doubt the clinic did this on purpose...and it certainly isn't this child's fault.  I don't understand how the parents can be so callous.  What do you guys think?

Uh.

I think I am speechless.

If they don't like her they should put her up for adoption.  Some people...

Oh yeah. I read that earlier. It pissed me off to no end. I can understand being upset that the husband's sperm wasn't used, but they're making it sound like everything is different just because she's a different ethnicity/color/race/whatever is PC for you. She's still a part of the mother. Just be glad you got a healthy baby and STFU.

There are some people who need to be slapped.

I was sickened when I read this.  :( 

To think of all the women who would give anything to have a baby, any baby...white, black, yellow, pink or blue.

It disgusts me to no end.
To those who don't know - my son is actually my step-son... but I would go to the end of the earth for him!
It is not the childs fault like has been said and these people need to check their priorities!

Convenient that their lawyer is Howard J. Stern ::)

WTF? I agree with you Carol.  My parents adopted a 3 years old little girl who has Cerebral Palsy.  They weren't looking for the perfect child, they just wanted a child.  Forced? Ha, they are the ones who decided to go against nature.  Coincidentally sometime nature has a reason for doing things. (If you get my point)  Yep, they ought to be slapped.  BTW that 3 year old little girl is the one typing this.  Thank God my parents don't go for perfection. ;D

I'm sorry, but I would be pretty pissed off.  I don't know how much it costs, but i'm guessing anywhere up to $10,000 to be treated at one of these clinics. So they pay all of this money, only to find out that the husband isn't even the real father. Not only is he not the father, but the baby isn't even the same race! I'd sue too.


My parents adopted a 3 years old little girl who has Cerebral Palsy.  They weren't looking for the perfect child, they just wanted a child.  Forced? Ha, they are the ones who decided to go against nature.  Coincidentally sometime nature has a reason for doing things. (If you get my point)  Yep, they ought to be slapped.  BTW that 3 year old little girl is the one typing this.  Thank God my parents don't go for perfection. ;D


But your parents chose to adopt a child with Cerebral Palsy. This couple didn't decide that they wanted the wife to be impregnated with sperm from a man other than her husband.

I'm sorry, but I would be pretty pissed off.  I don't know how much it costs, but i'm guessing anywhere up to $10,000 to be treated at one of these clinics. So they pay all of this money, only to find out that the husband isn't even the real father. Not only is he not the father, but the baby isn't even the same race! I'd sue too.


Then put the child up for adoption right??? ::)

The clinic made a mistake.  However, they didn't make it on purpose.  It's not like they said, "let's impregnate this woman with the wrong sperm!  Score!"  Yes the child is not biologically the child of the father, but the baby is healthy.....if they don't want the child anymore because it "doesn't look like them", put the kid up for adoption. 


I am thinking they can only get their money back if they can prove fraud and/or negligence. 

Then put the child up for adoption right??? ::)


Me personally? I wouldn't put the child up for adoption. But I would sue the clinic for negligence.

The clinic made a mistake.  However, they didn't make it on purpose.  It's not like they said, "let's impregnate this woman with the wrong sperm!  Score!"  Yes the child is not biologically the child of the father, but the baby is healthy.....if they don't want the child anymore because it "doesn't look like them", put the kid up for adoption. 


I am thinking they can only get their money back if they can prove fraud and/or negligence. 


I owe karma, remind me in 24 hours. :)

But I would sue the clinic for negligence.
Why do people always feel the need to "sue someone"?

Why can't we just accept that mistakes happen, the clinic gives them 50% of their money back and everything is settled.

Why do people always feel the need to "sue someone"?



Because that's how some people choose to find happiness.

Who's to say that the clinic made a mistake?  Maybe the wife was getting some action on the side and conveniently blames the clinic.

Would not be the first time.

Karma +1 for limblifter!

Now don't you get me wrong.  I think it is wonderful to adopt a child and give her/him a good home.  It's saintly to do the same for a child with a handicap, such as CP.    And of course I don't believe we should be hung up on race or ethnicity.  But parents do these things voluntarily with foreknowledge.

The fertility clinic had a contract to fulfill and they effed it all up in the worst way.  I think they're guilty of profound negligence and I don't see why a law suit is unwarranted.  We're not talking ordering the wrong bathroom tiles here.  That clinic was entrusted to create human life itself! Is there a more significant responsibility to undertake?

Now all parties concerned are tasked with making this child feel wanted in the world and not some kind of mistake!
::)


Who's to say that the clinic made a mistake?  Maybe the wife was getting some action on the side and conveniently blames the clinic.

Would not be the first time.

If you've got something to confess, LB, I think it's time to speak up!
;)

I'm just wondering how much money will make it easier for them to look at her?

$100?
$1,000?
$1,000,000?

I'm just wondering how much money will make it easier for them to look at her?

$100?
$1,000?
$1,000,000?




Good point.  since when does a baby=money?

It does to these people.  Why don't they have another child, this time ensuring the child is the husband's, and then they can have two beautiful healthy children. 

How much money will make it easier for the parents to answer their daughter when she asks them what her heritage is. The daughter might grow up being perfectly happy not knowing who her real father is. And maybe she won't. Is anyone responsible for that?

I think some people are missing the point here. YES, the clinic made a mistake. YES, the parents are right to sue the clinic for being f*ckups. But the way they are wording their lawsuit about race and ethnicity and not being the same color as them just pisses me off. It makes me wonder what would have happened if this child had had a birth defect or mental handicap. And how is this little girl gonna feel later when she looks up stuff about the lawsuit and sh*t and see what her parents had said? That's messed.

Limblifter makes excellent points.  I don't think I would EVER do what the parents are doing to "rectify" their situation, but I guess if I dropped that much money...I'd be slightly miffed.  However, it seems somewhat inappropriate to turn this into a situation worthy of Weekly World News. 

Actually...I don't know any way I can really defend that point of view without pissing a lot of people off :-\\

I like the solutions put forth by other posters...continue to love the kid since she is at least 50% biological family (and even if she isn't, love her anyway), but the clinic did make a mistake and should answer for it as well.  Not that the magic of childbirth itself is a mistake, mind you...just that they put in a different ingredient.  The kid shouldn't be turned into a sideshow under any circumstance, but I think it's a bit too late for that now :(


Good point.  since when does a baby=money?


Well, raising a baby costs a ton of money, but that's something the parents have to take responsibility for :)  Wouldn't trade it for the world.

I think some people are missing the point here. YES, the clinic made a mistake. YES, the parents are right to sue the clinic for being f*ckups. But the way they are wording their lawsuit about race and ethnicity and not being the same color as them just pisses me off. It makes me wonder what would have happened if this child had had a birth defect or mental handicap. And how is this little girl gonna feel later when she looks up stuff about the lawsuit and sh*t and see what her parents had said? That's messed.


So basically they're racist? Little girl's going to grow up knowing that her parent's told a court of law she is flawed!!!  That is sad.  Poor little girl.

"Hi...yeah...this kid is black and we're obviously not...so can we trade her in for a white model?  You know, one that looks like us?  God forbid we raise a child of a different race than us....that might be weird or something.  Kthnx."


What a bunch of toolboxes.  Come out and say why you don't want the child, take your damn money and then let someone else who would be more than willing to give the child a good home....do so. 

So basically they're racist? Little girl's going to grow up knowing that her parent's told a court of law she is flawed!!!  That is sad.  Poor little girl.


Oh, I don't know if they're racist. I think the way they're wording stuff is going to make them come off as being racist. And nowadays EVERYTHING is saved, so it won't be that hard for her to look for the stuff 20 years down the line and see what they had said.




"Hi...yeah...this kid is black and we're obviously not...so can we trade her in for a white model?  You know, one that looks like us?  God forbid we raise a child of a different race than us....that might be weird or something.  Kthnx."


What a bunch of toolboxes.  Come out and say why you don't want the child, take your damn money and then let someone else who would be more than willing to give the child a good home....do so. 


Short and to the point. I like it.

I can't say I know how that stuff works because I'm as fertile as the Nile. But if I had to do that and the clinic screwed up, yeah I'd be pissed that THEY made a mistake. I wouldn't take it out on the child. They'd still be mine.

So basically they're racist? Little girl's going to grow up knowing that her parent's told a court of law she is flawed!!!  That is sad.  Poor little girl.


I don't think they're necessarily racist, but they could have worded their statements much better.

Oh, I don't know if they're racist. I think the way they're wording stuff is going to make them come off as being racist. And nowadays EVERYTHING is saved, so it won't be that hard for her to look for the stuff 20 years down the line and see what they had said.



Short and to the point. I like it.

I can't say I know how that stuff works because I'm as fertile as the Nile. But if I had to do that and the clinic screwed up, yeah I'd be pissed that THEY made a mistake. I wouldn't take it out on the child. They'd still be mine.


They said they have trouble looking at her.  Even the mother.  Is she a child or a mistake made by the clinic???

"I have trouble looking at her" translates to "I can't stand looking at this monstrosity because I see no reflection of myself in it and I want a new one."

"I have trouble looking at her" translates to "I can't stand looking at this monstrosity because I see no reflection of myself in it and I want a new one."


I was trying to say that.

I wonder what a person dealing in medical and social ethics would say.

I think that they need to use different terms to refer to the "mistake".

Like...it's a MISTAKE that they used the wrong sperm.  The child herself is NOT a mistake.

I think the parents are doing their best to make the child turn into a piece of scrap metal or an inanimate object so they can justify their complete lack of emotion when describing the child.  It's almost like they are trying to use words to turn the kid into a non-living entity.

Howard J. Stern?  Oh gads, that just hit me like a ton of bricks.  http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/14/puke.gif

Howard J. Stern?  Oh gads, that just hit me like a ton of bricks.  http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/14/puke.gif


Apparently this is a different Howard Stern.  Anna Nicoles is Howard K Stern.

Which one is on the radio?

Apparently this is a different Howard Stern.  Anna Nicoles is Howard K Stern.


Whew.  I was just about to say. Exactly what form of law is he in.

Which one is on the radio?


Howard S(kank) Stern.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17735987/wid/11915773?GT1=9145

According to the article, the clinic fertilized the mother's eggs with the wrong sperm.  While I acknowledge that the parents have a right to be upset that a mistake was made, I don't think it should change the way they feel about their baby.

The couple says that they have been forced to raise a child who is “not even the same race, nationality, color ... as they are.”

Being forced?  Am I the only one who is bothered by this?

They also say that “while we love Baby Jessica as our own, we are reminded of this terrible mistake each and every time we look at her; it is simply impossible to ignore.”

If that's all they see when they look at their daughter then I feel extremely bad for their daughter.  If I were in the same situation, I'd love my child unconditionally.  I would focus on everything that's great about her instead of harping on the mistake that was made during her conception.  I seriously doubt the clinic did this on purpose...and it certainly isn't this child's fault.  I don't understand how the parents can be so callous.  What do you guys think?


   Fertility Clinic: "O-o-ps, our bad..!

   So much for the designer child but these parents never signed on for a cross cultural experiment...

   The parents need recourse.  Our adversarial legal system will force the truth of the situation into the light, and it's ugly... :-\\

I'm sorry, but I would be pretty pissed off.  I don't know how much it costs, but i'm guessing anywhere up to $10,000 to be treated at one of these clinics. So they pay all of this money, only to find out that the husband isn't even the real father. Not only is he not the father, but the baby isn't even the same race! I'd sue too.

But your parents chose to adopt a child with Cerebral Palsy. This couple didn't decide that they wanted the wife to be impregnated with sperm from a man other than her husband.
$10,000?  You're grossly underestimating the cost of in-vitro fertilization.....it's usually closer to $50,000...

IMO, they have a right to be pissed.  I would be.  And, I can understand where they're coming from.  I don't think they're necessarily racist, but they need to think a little more before they speak.  Imagine how many times in their lives they're going to be asked about her ethnicity......how many times will SHE be asked?  There's also an issue of medical history.  I certainly hope the clinic knows who the actual father is so they can at least get some history.  If they contact the father, though, what if he wasn't an anonymous donor, he was a husband in the same position as this father.....what's to stop him and his wife from filing a lawsuit for custody?  There are so many variables here, but I think I've listed enough. 

$10,000?  You're grossly underestimating the cost of in-vitro fertilization.....it's usually closer to $50,000...

IMO, they have a right to be pissed.  I would be.  And, I can understand where they're coming from.  I don't think they're necessarily racist, but they need to think a little more before they speak.  Imagine how many times in their lives they're going to be asked about her ethnicity......how many times will SHE be asked?  There's also an issue of medical history.  I certainly hope the clinic knows who the actual father is so they can at least get some history.  If they contact the father, though, what if he wasn't an anonymous donor, he was a husband in the same position as this father.....what's to stop him and his wife from filing a lawsuit for custody?  There are so many variables here, but I think I've listed enough. 




While I agree that the clinic screwed up-big time, I just feel for the child.  The statement "while we love Baby Jessica as our own, we are reminded of this terrible mistake each and every time we look at her; it is simply impossible to ignore" breaks my heart.  It just makes me feel like she a "mistake" to them.

She IS a mistake to them.  She's like a defective cupcake, as far as they're concerned.  Now they want to go back to the bakery and get a new one.  And don't tell me you love the child as your own and then turn around say that she looks nothing like you and looking at her is painful.  If you truly love something, no matter how it looks....you don't care.  Be it a painting or a person.


They should get their money back, but also should show maybe a scintilla more compassion toward this living being that is 50% their DNA. 

$10,000?  You're grossly underestimating the cost of in-vitro fertilization.....it's usually closer to $50,000...

IMO, they have a right to be pissed.  I would be.  And, I can understand where they're coming from.  I don't think they're necessarily racist, but they need to think a little more before they speak.  Imagine how many times in their lives they're going to be asked about her ethnicity......how many times will SHE be asked?  There's also an issue of medical history.  I certainly hope the clinic knows who the actual father is so they can at least get some history.  If they contact the father, though, what if he wasn't an anonymous donor, he was a husband in the same position as this father.....what's to stop him and his wife from filing a lawsuit for custody?  There are so many variables here, but I think I've listed enough. 





I agree with you Kim...yes, they do have a right to be upset...I know I would be...however, she's their daughter....it doesn't take matching blood in order to be someone's mom or dad...I know this firsthand.  I might not be Vaughn's biological mother...but I AM his mother.  They need to love this little girl, and get past the "mistake" of it all.  Perhaps it was just meant to be.

Me personally? I wouldn't put the child up for adoption. But I would sue the clinic for negligence.
That sounds reasonable.i think the couple reacted to the stress of the situation.if the child wasn't a different race,the clinic might not have been "caught'.does that make it right/of course not.