http://cbs2chicago.com/local/local_story_348184146.html  :o :o

I imagine that the kids at Wheaton Illinois High School will be brown bagging it for years to come.  :P

that is so effin' sick.

That is effed up big time. Karma's a bitch though; he better watch what he eats for the rest of his life.

That's to say nothing of the ass-whoopings this guy is in for over the next few months.

Say, anyone hungry for a Big Mac?

"Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese
Pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun!"
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/08/puke.gif

He jerked off into the salad dressing?  I really want to laugh.  But I shouldn't.

I wonder how he was able to get to it, and have enough time to perform the act..without being seen by anyone? ???

man, i'm hungry.

He jerked off into the salad dressing?  I really want to laugh.  But I shouldn't.

I laughed.  Why?  It wasn't my salad!  That's one of the prime elements of comedy--better you than me!
;D

Sounds more like raunch dressing to me!
Ba-da-bing!

Now the students are feeling queasy about an entree from last week:  Chicken-cum-Broccoli!
Ba-da-boom!
:P

When I was a lad it was mere rumours about "boogers" in the cafeteria Jell-O.  Jeez, I'm getting old fast!
:-\\

Ranch or blue cheese?

^ That's just wrong.

I laughed.  Why?  It wasn't my salad!  That's one of the prime elements of comedy--better you than me!
;D

Sounds more like raunch dressing to me!
Ba-da-bing!

Now the students are feeling queasy about an entree from last week:  Chicken-cum-Broccoli!
Ba-da-boom!
:P

When I was a lad it was mere rumours about "boogers" in the cafeteria Jell-O.  Jeez, I'm getting old fast!
:-\\


Last week, a freshman at my school, Mr. McArdle, pissed in the french fry oil. So everyone who ate the cafeteria french fries for lunch ate potatoes fried in a urine solution!

^ That's just wrong.
1001 Island?

;D ;D ;D That's freakin sweet!

;D ;D ;D That's freakin sweet!
Sweet and sour sauce?

Sweet and sour sauce?


Caught white handed!

I'd like one salad, please...

Hmm, pardon ?  Sauce?  I'll supply my own, thanks ;)

He'd better hope that none of the kids at his school have dads who are in the mob, they might whack him.

I think this was all a misunderstading.  After all it was Chinese Dinner Week and the worker in question thought that he'd offer up a special dish.  Kum of Sum Yung Gai.

;D ;D

I think this was all a misunderstading.  After all it was Chinese Dinner Week and the worker in question thought that he'd offer up a special dish.  Kum of Sum Yung Gai.

;D ;D

That's cream of sum yung gui, or in this case, the Mark Foley Special.

I know they say more protein in a diet is a good thing.  Maybe I'll stop there. :-X

Last week, a freshman at my school, Mr. McArdle, pissed in the french fry oil. So everyone who ate the cafeteria french fries for lunch ate potatoes fried in a urine solution!

Uh, you don't want to get your equipment that close to French fry oil!  Eeeeyow!

Here's a link to the letter the school sent home to the parents:

http://cbs2chicago.com/local/local_story_349113245.html

The line that I like is "to prevent this from happening again we've switched to a larger container for condiments".  :D

Like that is gonna stop some randy teenager from doing this again.  ::)  Just gives him a bigger target to hit.  ;)

Perhaps they should glue pictures of Bea Arthur to all of the food containers at Wheaton High School.  Now THAT might prevent a repeat.  ;D ;D ;D

Simply too disgusting....  :o

Here's a link to the letter the school sent home to the parents:

http://cbs2chicago.com/local/local_story_349113245.html

The line that I like is "to prevent this from happening again we've switched to a larger container for condiments".  :D

Like that is gonna stop some randy teenager from doing this again.  ::)  Just gives him a bigger target to hit.  ;)

Perhaps they should glue pictures of Bea Arthur to all of the food containers at Wheaton High School.  Now THAT might prevent a repeat.   ;D ;D ;D

Sounds like he needs a big container condoms, not condiments!
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/13/ky.gif

http://www.poopgang.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_vomit.gif

They always say food fit for a seaman.  Never thought it would be the other way around

see, funny thing is... if i'd been one of those people to eat the salad whatever, i'da probably gone, oh. so it had semen in it? oh, okay, whatever. gross. not much i can do about it now though and i guess it won't kill me long as dude didn't have AIDS or something. and then i'd just gone about my business.

not too long ago i got some delivery italian, spaghetti and meatballs. i'm eating happily away and then discover there's a LONG-ASS HAIR in my mouth. pluck it out, stop eating, go, wow, yuck, never order from there again. i've found bugs in my food before and sheesh like that too. but once you've eaten it, what ya gonna do? might as well not dwell on it.

I hope the perpetrator is over 18. I hope they put his mug shot on www.thesmokinggun.com ;D

I hope the perpetrator is over 18. I hope they put his mug shot on www.thesmokinggun.com ;D


The news reports say that he is 17.  But you can pretty much be assured that he is gonna be in for one heck of an azz-whoopin' by his fellow classmates.  :P

He better hope that nobody on the football team (or their girlfriends) did not partake of his kicked-up dressing.

see, funny thing is... if i'd been one of those people to eat the salad whatever, i'da probably gone, oh. so it had semen in it? oh, okay, whatever. gross. not much i can do about it now though and i guess it won't kill me long as dude didn't have AIDS or something. and then i'd just gone about my business.

not too long ago i got some delivery italian, spaghetti and meatballs. i'm eating happily away and then discover there's a LONG-ASS HAIR in my mouth. pluck it out, stop eating, go, wow, yuck, never order from there again. i've found bugs in my food before and sheesh like that too. but once you've eaten it, what ya gonna do? might as well not dwell on it.

A "long-ass hair" is one thing, a "long ass hair" is another
:o

Anyway, for some of the girls at my high school it would have just been "second helpings"!
:-X

A "long-ass hair" is one thing, a "long ass hair" is another
:o

Anyway, for some of the girls at my high school it would have just been "second helpings"!
:-X


I'm not supposed to be laughing right now. ;D

Maybe that kid could get a job at Jack-In-The-Box.

Maybe that kid could get a job at Jack-In-The-Box.
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/13/icon_scratch.gif  Can he use that skill on an application? :P

I'm not supposed to be laughing right now. ;D

Those are the times we always laugh the longest!
;D

Maybe that kid could get a job at Jack-In-The-Box.


Well he's already worked at Jack-In-The-Ranch

;D

Well he's already worked at Jack-In-The-Ranch

;D

Beef Jerky?
:P

A "long-ass hair" is one thing, a "long ass hair" is another
:o

haha! i actually noticed that, went back and added the hyphen. punctuation is very important!

Well he's already worked at Jack-In-The-Ranch

;D
How about White Castle?

Beef Jerky?
:P


Beef Stroganoff  ;)

Beef Stroganoff  ;)

Uhhh...jack cheese
:-\\

Hey, what's that white stuff in there?  I will forever be asking that question. :P

Y'know, one tiny piece of information missing from this story was "how was it discovered?" I mean, aside from him turning himself in, which didn't happen, there really is only one other way his ballsamic salad dressing could have been noticed...

Y'know, one tiny piece of information missing from this story was "how was it discovered?" I mean, aside from him turning himself in, which didn't happen, there really is only one other way his ballsamic salad dressing could have been noticed...





Well yeah, but how many of us are really paranoid now?

From now on the condiments in all 20 schools in the district will only be available in individual packets or in large containers, making them very difficult to tamper with.

That's always the way, one jerk makes it hard for everybody else!

From now on the condiments in all 20 schools in the district will only be available in individual packets or in large containers, making them very difficult to tamper with.

That's always the way, one jerk makes it hard for everybody else!



no pun intended, eh? ;D :D

No wonder the Ranch dressing smelt like bleach! :D

No wonder the Ranch dressing smelt like bleach! :D



If you know the precise smell of your ejaculate, you spend more time alone that you're letting on..........

If you know the precise smell of your ejaculate, you spend more time alone that you're letting on..........


I just read somewhere that it smells similar to bleach. Get your mind out of the gutter, Beth. ;D

I just read somewhere that it smells similar to bleach. Get your mind out of the gutter, Beth. ;D



What gutter? 

What gutter? 


Uh, nevermind.

I just read somewhere that it smells similar to bleach.


Evidently there is something wrong with me then.

I just read somewhere that it smells similar to bleach. Get your mind out of the gutter, Beth. ;D



you are actually right, Alex.

you are actually right, Alex.


??? Is there something I'm missing here.. I've never noticed a bleach smell.

??? Is there something I'm missing here.. I've never noticed a bleach smell.



not everyone is the same....but it is known to smell like that.

not everyone is the same....but it is known to smell like that.


I see..




Ladies, come get your bleach free semen!

I hope the perpetrator is over 18. I hope they put his mug shot on www.thesmokinggun.com ;D
Hey, did I call it or what?  ;)

H.S. Salad Dressing Befouler Booked
Senior, 17, facing aggravated battery, disorderly conduct raps

DECEMBER 18--Meet Marco Raphael Castro. The Illinois high school student surrendered today to face charges resulting from a revolting lunchroom prank earlier this month. According to Wheaton police and school officials, the 17-year-old senior ejaculated into a bottle of ranch salad dressing on December 6 and returned the befouled condiment to the Wheaton North High School cafeteria. It is unclear if the dressing was used by any students before the container was cleaned and refilled the following day. Castro, pictured below in Wheaton Police Department mug shots, has been charged with disorderly conduct and attempted aggravated battery, both misdemeanors. School officials learned of the prank from students, and Principal Jill Bullo sent parents a December 14 letter informing them of the "very unusual and disgusting incident."

Well, he wasn't quite 18, but they still put his mugshot up anyway :

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1218062castro1.html

Good luck getting that job down at Hardee's.  ;D

Hey, did I call it or what?  ;) Castro, pictured below in Wheaton Police Department mug shots,

Mug shots.  Hmph.  So that's what they call 'em nowadays.  I thought special sauce came in a bottle, not a mug. 

Umm.  Let me rephrase that. 

Mug shots.  Hmph.  So that's what they call 'em nowadays.  I thought special sauce came in a bottle, not a mug. 

Umm.  Let me rephrase that. 
Apparently in Wheaton, Illinois, special sauce comes out of a tube.

Hey, did I call it or what?  ;)

Good luck getting that job down at Hardee's.  ;D


I heard that he's got a new job at Krispy Kreme.

Refilling the Kreme donuts.  ;D

That is just sick.

What... WHAT WAS HE THINKING!?

"Oh, yeah, once everybody eats my semen, I'm BOUND to be a Daddy!"... o_O

That is just sick.

What... WHAT WAS HE THINKING!?

"Oh, yeah, once everybody eats my semen, I'm BOUND to be a Daddy!"... o_O




The reproductive tract and the digestive tract are not one in the same, so how would eating something he jerked off into impregnate a girl?

The reproductive tract and the digestive tract are not one in the same, so how would eating something he jerked off into impregnate a girl?


Hence the face at the end of that sentence. I was pointing out the stupidity of that thought, which he may have been thinking.

Hence the face at the end of that sentence. I was pointing out the stupidity of that thought, which he may have been thinking.



Ah....got it now.  :)

The reproductive tract and the digestive tract are not one in the same, so how would eating something he jerked off into impregnate a girl?


Because it's sinful!

Because it's sinful!



Well yeah.

Because it's sinful!


God forbid you put bodily fluids in salad dressing!

Well yeah.


.. and The Lord shalt smite down thy who consumeth large quanitites of Jizz as thy art an Jezebel. Unless thouh that injestith semen be art male, then thou shalt join The Lord's flock as a member of the clergy.

I heard that he's got a new job at Krispy Kreme.

Refilling the Kreme donuts.  ;D
Ever seen Van Wilder?  ;D ;D ;D

Ever seen Van Wilder?  ;D ;D ;D


ew ya....that scene in that movie is really really gross! :P

The reproductive tract and the digestive tract are not one in the same, so how would eating something he jerked off into impregnate a girl?


The same way french kissing does and doing it in a hot tub doesn't, silly. :D

The same way french kissing does and doing it in a hot tub doesn't, silly. :D



Uh right. 

Uh right. 


Sarcasm alert.

Sarcasm alert.



You apparently didn't notice where I said I misread Dom's comment.  He was being sarcastic and I thought he was being literal.

Because it's sinful!

The Bible says we are all born in sin, my son, but nobody in the history of the world ever got pregnant like that, that's why it's such a popular alternative!



not everyone is the same....

Ah, I see.  I couldn't comment, 'coz I don't have the frame of reference.
:D

The reproductive tract and the digestive tract are not one in the same,


And once again, another perfectly good thread turns to...

http://www.orlyowl.com/upload/files/buttsecks.JPG

Cue the owl!

I <3 that owl.

I <3 that owl.


She sets 'em up, I only knock 'em down.