I understand what you are saying. When I first got married (at the old age of 19) I weighed about 112. Within the first few months of marriage, I quit smoking and went on the pill and my weight shot up to about 120-130 (the horrors). I thought I was really fat because my husband used to tell me I was-and stupid me believed him. After I got rid of him-I also got rid of a lot of weight (both physically and figurtively). When I moved in with Carlos, I gained about 20 lbs and was up to about 140.  :o :o (It was the heaviest I had been in my life). But, I didn't feel fat because Carlos kept (and still says) that I am beautiful, I'm sexy, etc. etc. My weight has dropped again (Mainly because I don't go out to lunch as much I used to) and now I am wondering if I am TOO thin (even though I am still not down as much as I was when I first moved in here with Carlos).

Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder-I know it is an old cliche but it is true. I must admit that part of the reason why I feel good about myself is because of Carlos' constent reminding.




Cat



If I could give you a karma, I would (but it has not been 24 hours yet ;D).  But, yes, I agree with you Cat.  I have always been the type of person that has never gone for the typical "gorgeous" person....I always find inner beauty more attractive, and I have always tended to be attracted to individuals who were more unique, than beautiful.

Carlos sounds like a wonderful man Cat.  :)

I also agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  I don't know why people think that women like ripped guys.  I prefer more of an average joe type, because they actually have personalities and usually don't have egos the size of Texas.

I don't think that there are many people who are insanely superficial like on the ET expose'.  They do exist, but maybe most of the less superficial people don't come out much because they get slammed by the insane ones, I don't know.

Carlos sounds like a wonderful man Cat.  :)


You don't know the half of it. He treats me like a Goddess. I wouldn't trade him for Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, or Will Smith-put together.



I also agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  I don't know why people think that women like ripped guys.  I prefer more of an average joe type, because they actually have personalities and usually don't have egos the size of Texas.




I agree. I wouldn't call Carlos an Adonis but to me, he is the most beautiful man in the world.



Cat

If I could give you a karma, I would (but it has not been 24 hours yet ;D).  But, yes, I agree with you Cat.  I have always been the type of person that has never gone for the typical "gorgeous" person....I always find inner beauty more attractive, and I have always tended to be attracted to individuals who were more unique, than beautiful.
I'll do it for you!  ;)

I used to only be attracted to dangerously handsome men when I first got into guys but I learnt the hard way that most of them are arrogant t*ats who love themselves more than anyone else, or maybe that was just the ones I went for. ;D

I'll do it for you!  ;)

I used to only be attracted to dangerously handsome men when I first got into guys but I learnt the hard way that most of them are arrogant t*ats who love themselves more than anyone else, or maybe that was just the ones I went for. ;D
No, that's how many of them are.....at least all that I've dated as well. ::)

As I've said before, if you had a room full of 100 people and said "Guess which ones are couples", you'd probably be waiting a LONG time until someone would put us together.  Most of the people I've dated fall into the same category. 

I'll do it for you!  ;)

I used to only be attracted to dangerously handsome men when I first got into guys but I learnt the hard way that most of them are arrogant t*ats who love themselves more than anyone else, or maybe that was just the ones I went for. ;D



Ah no, it is not just the ones you went for. MOST are like that. I dated a guy who used to spend more time in front of the mirror then I did.



Cat

Has anyone else noticed that the Lane Bryant store models are getting smaller? They look fecking ridiculous wearing plus sized clothing.

Topic of mismatched couples: Rice_Cube and myself. But we love each other, so people who look at us weird and/or make snide comments can bite me.

Has anyone else noticed that the Lane Bryant store models are getting smaller? They look fecking ridiculous wearing plus sized clothing.

Topic of mismatched couples: Rice_Cube and myself. But we love each other, so people who look at us weird and/or make snide comments can bite me.


You know what's really bad,  my daughter (who will be 6 in couple of weeks) is in between sizes...6x is too small and 7 is too big, so I noticed Penney's has half-sizes. Then I read the label they're calling them plus-sizes.  Why is that?  Why no just call them "half-sizes" or something?  Maks me mad, I don't want my 6 year old to get a complex about her weight.

Has anyone else noticed that the Lane Bryant store models are getting smaller? They look fecking ridiculous wearing plus sized clothing.




Yes, I have noticed that. I received a LB catalog a few months ago, and I was glancing through it thinking to myself, "why the hell do they have a size 6 model, wearing "plus-sized clothes".....dude, I wanna see girls with curves sporting the clothes...not effin' twigs. >:( ::)



You know what's really bad,  my daughter (who will be 6 in couple of weeks) is in between sizes...6x is too small and 7 is too big, so I noticed Penney's has half-sizes. Then I read the label they're calling them plus-sizes.  Why is that?  Why no just call them "half-sizes" or something?  Maks me mad, I don't want my 6 year old to get a complex about her weight.



Yes, when I was younger (and still chubby ;))....my mom bought some of my clothes at Sears...and the "plus size" for girls line was called, "Pretty Plus". ::)

Yes, when I was younger (and still chubby ;))....my mom bought some of my clothes at Sears...and the "plus size" for girls line was called, "Pretty Plus". ::)


After I read your post I remembered wore "Pretty Plus" too...no wonder I have issues with my weight. 

It didn't help that my mother put me on a diet when I was 8.  I will never make my kids feel bad the way my mother made me feel (she had issues, she was extremely overweight as a child and thought she was doing the right thing.)

She died in April 2005, and since she passed away I've put on 20 pounds.  Pretty funny, huh?  But you know what, if I don't lose the wieght, so what...my husband loves me and my kids love me and I think I'm O.K.

After I read your post I remembered wore "Pretty Plus" too...no wonder I have issues with my weight. 

It didn't help that my mother put me on a diet when I was 8.  I will never make my kids feel bad the way my mother made me feel (she had issues, she was extremely overweight as a child and thought she was doing the right thing.)

She died in April 2005, and since she passed away I've put on 20 pounds.  Pretty funny, huh?  But you know what, if I don't lose the wieght, so what...my husband loves me and my kids love me and I think I'm O.K.



I've also been on and off diets since I was young....I have always had a very slow metabolism....overeating has never really been my problem....I just have to exercise like CRAZY in order to lose any weight. :-\\

Why the rigid "beauty standards," why the perpetual glorification of rich people, why the constant provacation of insecurity among the viewers?

The sole purpose of commercial television is to get YOU to go out and buy things.  You have money.  The corporations want it.  They'll say anything to get it.

Most people believe television commercials are there to sponsor television programs.  No reason not to pick up this assumption, that's the way it appears.  The truth is, the programming is there to get you to watch the commercials.

If you approach television understanding these core principles, things like "ET's ugly/beautiful undercover hidden camera" are much easier to understand.

http://etonline.com/celebrities/spotlight/37691/index.html

To make a long story short, one of the Entertainment Tonight's reporters went undercover and disguised herself as the typical "ugly" "overweight" girl and then disguised herself as the typical "blond bombshell" and compared the different reactions that she got from people regarding the two different "looks".  I watched a bit of this last night before falling asleep. I just think it is funny that when she was dressed as the "ugly" girl....she was considered to be fat, yet the size of her skirt that she was wearing was a size 12....hardly "fat", IMO.

Don't you all get so sick of people's typical definitions of what "ugly" is considered to be? ::)


Well I didn't see this particular show, but I've watched alot of similar ones (i.e. Tyra Banks did it not too long ago) and I agree. Yeah, I'm sure they only air certain reactions from people, but it's sad that some people lump "fat" and "ugly" in togehter or that beauty is supposed to be determined by being super thin. Some of the people in these shows who give them flack for being overweight act worse than some 10-year old Elementary School bully.

Honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong with being 15-20 pounds overweight. Even 30 isn't too bad. Sure, those beauty standards have always been around somewhat (and every decade kinda says how much worse things are now compared to "the innocent old days" which can get overrated), but I really do think the entertainment industry has gotten even worse with this in the last few years. I first noticed it with Calista Flockhart back in 1998.


I'm sick of the idiotic entertainment industry trying to tell me what the standards of "beauty" are.  "Beauty" does not begin or end with the cosmetic. It's not the same thing as "sex appeal."  Most of the women other guys refer to as "hotties" are not "beautiful" to me.  Personality does count.  It is inseperable from physical attributes.  I see it in the eyes, the facial expression, the mannerisms, the comportment of a woman.  Sure, a scantily clad 19-year-old bimbo 36-23-36 fires up my male libido in the primitive brain, I'd be a liar if I denied it, but I don't call it "beauty" in itself.
::)


Couldn't have said it better myself, bud. :)

Yeah, I've always disliked the preconception that us guys are "supposed" to like stripper-esque/slutty type Playboy chicks, or that we're shallow and attracted to just exterior, cosmetic looks, as opposed to the inside. Hell, alot of the girls/women I like tend to be what most people would call kinda "plain".

Yeah, I've always disliked the preconception that us guys are "supposed" to like stripper-esque/slutty type Playboy chicks, or that we're shallow and attracted to just exterior, cosmetic looks, as opposed to the inside. Hell, alot of the girls/women I like tend to be what most people would call kinda "plain".


Yeah it's the same thing with me and guys.  My brothers and dad don't understand why I like guys like Clay Aiken and Colin Hanks.  They think it has to have something to do with the exterior....or that I'm "desperate" or something.  To me, seeing the interior beauty makes the exterior seem so much more beautiful, if that makes any sense.....

Yeah it's the same thing with me and guys.  My brothers and dad don't understand why I like guys like Clay Aiken and Colin Hanks.  They think it has to have something to do with the exterior....or that I'm "desperate" or something.  To me, seeing the interior makes the exterior seem so much more beautiful, if that makes any sense.....



It makes total sense to me, Audrey.  IMO, some of the world's "ugliest" (in the opinon of society) people, have the most "beautiful" hearts.

^ Wonderfully said. :)

I know this is another fictional movie example, although I do think it relates to real life situations. But did you ever feel sorry for Samantha in 16 Candles when nobody wanted to go to the dance with her? I really did. That's the perfect example of the "everyday" girl getting snubbed, heck if I were one of the guys in that school, I would've invited her.


Yeah it's the same thing with me and guys.  My brothers and dad don't understand why I like guys like Clay Aiken and Colin Hanks.  They think it has to have something to do with the exterior....or that I'm "desperate" or something.  To me, seeing the interior beauty makes the exterior seem so much more beautiful, if that makes any sense.....


Totally agreed. I know what you're saying about people's misunderstandings about that, too. Some friends I have don't "get" why I've always tended to like average girls as well as soccer mom-type older women (all joking about "Stacy's Mom" aside). ;D

Yeah, anyone who's nice or good-hearted on the inside seems more attractive in the overall sense. Conversely, you could take the "hottest" person out there, and if they're shallow, mean spirited, or just kinda have a negative attitude, that makes them seem far less attractive. I've dated girls like that before.

This is what happens when people buy into that "thin is beautiful" bullsh*t!

Brazilian Model Dies From Anorexia

This is just sad and disturbing. She would've been gorgeous at a normal weight!

This is what happens when people buy into that "thin is beautiful" bullsh*t!

Brazilian Model Dies From Anorexia

This is just sad and disturbing. She would've been gorgeous at a normal weight!




Disgusting.  I feel like beating these people with a loin of pork.

This is what happens when people buy into that "thin is beautiful" bullsh*t!

Brazilian Model Dies From Anorexia

This is just sad and disturbing. She would've been gorgeous at a normal weight!


Man, how messed up is that?  Yet designers do nothing to make it better.  Would it kill them to make their clothes a size bigger?  No, it wouldn't.  But they won't.  They don't care if the people who sell their clothes die, as long as the clothes keep selling.  It's just sickening.

Yeah it's the same thing with me and guys.  My brothers and dad don't understand why I like guys like Clay Aiken and Colin Hanks.  They think it has to have something to do with the exterior....or that I'm "desperate" or something.  To me, seeing the interior beauty makes the exterior seem so much more beautiful, if that makes any sense.....

"Sour grapes," they tell me.  "You just say that 'cuz you can't get the hotties!"  Here's what happens with the "hotties."  They drain your bank account, they flirt with other guys, they bore you out of your skull because they don't know squat about anything--and they don't care to find out, and when it comes down to--you know--they ain't so "hot" after all!

You may say this a rank stereotype...and it is...but so are the "hotties"!
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/13/jerk.gif

"Sour grapes," they tell me.  "You just say that 'cuz you can't get the hotties!"  Here's what happens with the "hotties."  They drain your bank account, they flirt with other guys, they bore you out of your skull because they don't know squat about anything--and they don't care to find out, and when it comes down to--you know--they ain't so "hot" after all!

You may say this a rank stereotype...and it is...but so are the "hotties"!


If it's a rank stereotype, why do you believe it? 

If it's a rank stereotype, why do you believe it? 

Ah, Sister Morphine, I thought you might be the first to object!
;)

There are stereotypes and stereotypes, some are true, some ain't.

There are stereotypes and stereotypes, some are true, some ain't.



I'd be willing to bet that this is one of the stereotypes that is not true. 

This is the picture of real beauty... Big and Small, blonde, brunette, Plus sized and Petite.. Like I said before, Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes..
And Fat doesn't have to equate ugly. And sexy doesn't have to equate skin tight or sleazily  exposed. And I'll tell ya, I'm twice the woman I was 20 yrs ago , not only physically, but intellectually as well.

I'd be willing to bet that this is one of the stereotypes that are not true. 


Raise the stakes a bit.  I'll see your singular-plural agreement and bet you that these is!
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/13/icon_scratch.gif

http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Heights/2493/divine.jpg

Raise the stakes a bit.  I'll see your singular-plural agreement and bet you that these am!
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/13/icon_scratch.gif



So I made a typing mistake.  BDD.  This was unnecessary.

This is the picture of real beauty... Big and Small, blonde, brunette, Plus sized and Petite.. Like I said before, Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes..
And Fat doesn't have to equate ugly. And sexy doesn't have to equate skin tight or sleazily  exposed. And I'll tell ya, I'm twice the woman I was 20 yrs ago , not only physically, but intellectually as well.



My best friend and I are physically very different too.  She's tall and thin, I'm shorter and not-so-thin. 

My best friend and I are physically very different too.  She's tall and thin, I'm shorter and not-so-thin. 

and would you believe, that my friend, all 110 lbs of her has 'issues with her weight'?? She hates wearing a swimsuit, because she thinks she has big hips.. I am the one who is always trying to build HER up...and tell her that she's beautiful just as she is!!

and would you believe, that my friend, all 110 lbs of her has 'issues with her weight'?? She hates wearing a swimsuit, because she thinks she has big hips.. I am the one who is always trying to build HER up...and tell her that she's beautiful just as she is!!



Marie acts the same way sometimes.  She had problems with weight when she was younger and she lost about 40 lbs and now she looks really, really good but every now and again she'll ask me if something she's wearing makes her look big.

Now in defense of Max's statement above.. I wouldn't say all 'hottie's are like that.. but in my experience, it's the good looking guys that tend to be more superficial and shallow about women.. And back when I was dating, I actually liked average looking guys that could make me laugh. I always joke around that my husband looks like George Costanza but a little more hair!  Sure the Derek Jeters are nice to look at.. but would he ever be seen with someone less than a Mariah Carey type? I doubt it.. And many women who are 'hotties' would die at the first site of a stretch mark, or belly roll. And I believe that stems from their own inner self image that maybe puts too much emphasis on outer perfection because maybe they don't feel they have anything else to offer but a hot bod and perfect face. Now I'm not saying they are ALL like that.. but... a fair number might be.

This is the picture of real beauty... Big and Small, blonde, brunette, Plus sized and Petite.. Like I said before, Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes..
And Fat doesn't have to equate ugly. And sexy doesn't have to equate skin tight or sleazily  exposed. And I'll tell ya, I'm twice the woman I was 20 yrs ago , not only physically, but intellectually as well.


You, my dear, are gorgeous.  :-*

backatcha.. :)

Yeah, anyone who's nice or good-hearted on the inside seems more attractive in the overall sense. Conversely, you could take the "hottest" person out there, and if they're shallow, mean spirited, or just kinda have a negative attitude, that makes them seem far less attractive. I've dated girls like that before.


That's probably how they got the idea for Shallow Hal.  I noticed a lot of people thought that movie was making fun of fat or "ugly" people, but after you see it you figure out it's like the complete opposite of that.

This is the picture of real beauty... Big and Small, blonde, brunette, Plus sized and Petite.. Like I said before, Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes..
And Fat doesn't have to equate ugly. And sexy doesn't have to equate skin tight or sleazily  exposed. And I'll tell ya, I'm twice the woman I was 20 yrs ago , not only physically, but intellectually as well.



oooo la la, girl! ;)

That's probably how they got the idea for Shallow Hal.  I noticed a lot of people thought that movie was making fun of fat or "ugly" people, but after you see it you figure out it's like the complete opposite of that.
My Nan had a saying 'you earn the face you get' and as I've got older I've noticed it is very true, leaving aside plastic surgery! I have know people who were handsome or beautiful as a young man or woman but were an unpleasant selfish person with it. I see them now and their faces have become sour and hard and bitter. whereas other people you might never have called stunning, but with a beautiful personality reflect that in their faces.

My Nan had a saying 'you earn the face you get' and as I've got older I've noticed it is very true, leaving aside plastic surgery! I have know people who were handsome or beautiful as a young man or woman but were an unpleasant selfish person with it. I see them now and their faces have become sour and hard and bitter. whereas other people you might never have called stunning, but with a beautiful personality reflect that in their faces.


You're saying their very unpleasantness with other people when they were younger was what made them sour-looking later? That actually makes sense to me.


That's probably how they got the idea for Shallow Hal.  I noticed a lot of people thought that movie was making fun of fat or "ugly" people, but after you see it you figure out it's like the complete opposite of that.


Yeah, that's true. Sure, there's some "fat jokes", but I felt it wasn't doing that for the purpose of making fun, but more to point out his shallowness. But he slowly starts learning from his mistakes and it was actually a nice, surprisingly sweet movie.

Yeah, that's true. Sure, there's some "fat jokes", but I felt it was more pointing out his own shallowness. But he slowly starts learning from his mistakes and it was actually a really nice movie.


I really like that movie! :)

I really like that movie! :)


Me too, especially with "George Costanza" in it. 8)

You, my dear, are gorgeous.  :-*


I second that. :)


I also like the movie "Shallow Hal". I thought it was going to be stupid, but I was pleasantly surprised at how sensitive it could be. I need to buy that movie.

You're saying their very unpleasantness with other people when they were younger was what made them sour-looking later? That actually makes sense to me.


Kind of yes, it's the combination of that and the way they have behaved in general all their lives.

My Nan had a saying 'you earn the face you get' and as I've got older I've noticed it is very true, leaving aside plastic surgery! I have know people who were handsome or beautiful as a young man or woman but were an unpleasant selfish person with it. I see them now and their faces have become sour and hard and bitter. whereas other people you might never have called stunning, but with a beautiful personality reflect that in their faces.

I didn't think much about that in my youth because I didn't think I would live to see middle age.  As I zoom into my middle years, I'm striving for peace of mind---in a Zen fashion--by not striving for it!  I never thought of it in terms of countenance, but I would rather not wear stress and angst in the aging of my features!
:)