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Subject: God still hates me
Written By: jiminy on 02/20/05 at 8:24 pm
>:( There was a car accident today knocking out our cable TV all day, it happened within 30 minutes of the Green Flag for The Daytona 500 >:(
Subject: Re: God still hates me
Written By: Dagwood on 02/20/05 at 8:44 pm
Well that sucks.
Subject: Re: God still hates me
Written By: Apricot on 02/20/05 at 8:50 pm
Oh, I thought you had a serious problem. I saw "car accident" and got scared. ;D
Subject: Re: God still hates me
Written By: jiminy on 02/20/05 at 8:56 pm
Oh, I thought you had a serious problem. I saw "car accident" and got scared. ;D
I MISSED THE DAYTONA 500
Subject: Re: God still hates me
Written By: Apricot on 02/20/05 at 9:02 pm
I MISSED THE DAYTONA 500
No, I thought "serious" like, "someone I loved died" or "15 cars are on fire and my lover is in one of them". I can understand not wanting to miss the Daytona 500. I saw it, actually. It was played on a TV in some restaurant we went to.
Subject: Re: God still hates me
Written By: jiminy on 02/20/05 at 10:35 pm
No, I thought "serious" like, "someone I loved died" or "15 cars are on fire and my lover is in one of them". I can understand not wanting to miss the Daytona 500. I saw it, actually. It was played on a TV in some restaurant we went to.
15 cars are on fire and my lover is in one of them...new reality TV show?
Subject: Re: God still hates me
Written By: MaxwellSmart on 02/21/05 at 12:22 am
"God Still Hates Me"
Sounds like a Morrissey song!
:\'( ::)
Subject: Re: God still hates me
Written By: jiminy on 02/23/05 at 9:58 pm
This song made me feel better ::)
BLOODHOUND GANG
"Hell Yeah"
Alright now boys and girls we've got another story for you now!
We want to introduce to you another friend of the Bible!
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
If I were God there would be no explicit sex on T.V.
Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea
If I were God thou shall not worship false Billy Idols
And thou shall add the Book Of Flavor Flav to the Bible
Thou shall make fun of Hindus thou shall not make a "Speed 2"
If I were God that's what I'd do Heavens no
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
If I were God I'd get a bunch of slaves to do everything
Norwegian lesbians that feed me grapes and know how to sing
If I were God thou shall not wear tube socks with Flip-Flops
Thou shall sit and thou shall spin thou shall even wife swap
Thou shall resist the Olsen Twins, thou shall not cut "Footloose"
If I were God that's what I'd do, Heavens no
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross
I'll tell them I found Jesus that should throw them off
He goes by the name Jesus and steals hubcaps from cars
Oh Jesus can I borrow your crowbar?
To pry these God damn nails out they're beginning to hurt
Crucified and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" I'll sing as I'm flogged
Yeah that's what I would do if I were God
So vote for me for Savior and you'll go to Heaven
Your lame duck Lord is like Kevin Spacey in "Seven"
With creepy threats of H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick
You just can't teach an old God new tricks
But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem?
If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy?
Just sport some crummy "holier than thou" facade
Yeah that's what I would do if I were God