15 Things a Man Can Do at Wal Mart while his wife is taking her sweet time.

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies rest-room.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in house wares' .. . and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department -- and tell other shoppers you're sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9 . Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible."

12. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say:
"PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while . . . then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!"

;D ;D

:)


6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

Alternatively, try explaining to the manager why you thought the sign that said "WET FLOOR" was an instruction...

"8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?""

Spot on !  :)

LOL.  ;D ;D We'd probably be arrested or sued if we tried that in the UK!

You mean people have actually offered to help you in WalMart?  ;) ;D


No !  We don't have WalMarts here.  It wouldn't work.  In Aus, to be called a Wally (or Wal) is a mild insult.  It would like having a chain of shops called "IdiotMart"  ;D

But to answer your question, that is the way I feel when I go into a store where the assistants obviously work on commission.  If you are asked once, it is a dozen times....

"Leave me alone" !  :o :P

Being the idiot i am, i managed to trip over in 'Wally World' and incredibly a guy who was putting stuff on a rack a few yards away rushed over and helped me up.. i was fine and in retrospect probably shouldnt have looked at him wierd but he was sooo helpfull. I guess maybe he was trying to protect the store from being sued, considering who anyone can sue for anything now.

But if it has happened in Asda (a big chain of stores owned by Wal-Mart in the UK) nobody would have helped and i'm pretty sure they would have just laughed.

Good God, that is twice this week yuo've made me laugh! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Call a sales associate over to the magazine rack and ask, "Where you hidin' the Hustlers?"
Go to the snackbar and ask for a smoothie...with wheat germ and spirulina.
;)

I like to go over to the section where they have like 30 or 40 of those silly singing basses and talking teddy bears (you know, the kind that start singing some goofy song when you squeeze their hand or something--and they're usually right by the cash register) and set all of them off at once. This drives the cashiers nuts! ;)

I like to go over to the section where they have like 30 or 40 of those silly singing basses and talking teddy bears (you know, the kind that start singing some goofy song when you squeeze their hand or something--and they're usually right by the cash register) and set all of them off at once. This drives the cashiers nuts! ;)


Hee hee I like to do that too and I work in a department store. :P

Speaking of 'are you being served', it's guaranteed that I  will be approached by customers when I'm perched precariously on top of a ladder ???....when only four feet away there's at least three sales assistants having a good old chat about what they did on the weekend. ::)