Quoting:
To HairSpray:

I didn't mean for my post to be offensive or anything, I just wanted to share my pain.
End Quote

Your post was not offensive.

My point is that there may be the one insensitive numbskull who may hurt your feelings with ease because you have laid your heart out on the line. When your personal feelings are "out there", you could be easily hurt. In my own way, I'm trying to help.

Quoting:
If anyone else can offer any suggestions on how to cope with my pain, please let me know.
End Quote

Yes, I have one -

Get outta the house!!! :D

Seriously, even if for a little while. Take a walk, go to a park, library, cafe, grocery store...

It'll help distract you, clear your mind a bit and.... Hey! You may meet someone new! :o :) ;)

Quoting:

I have a Girlfriend nowEnd Quote

What? ? ? :o

???

:-X

I'm all talked out for now.

Quoting:
But then sometimes I think to myself,
Maybe me not being with her is a "Blessing in Disguise"
Who knows...
End Quote

This could be very true, Andrew.

You mentioned that you are a Christian. Is "Pam" a Christian too? If not, then you are probably better off without her.

My advice is to trust in God and LET HER GO. Like Hairspray said, get out of the house and get on with your life. Ask the Lord to help you forget about her. Ask Him to take away the pain. If you go to a church, maybe getting more involved at church will help you get your mind off Pam and maybe you will meet someone new.

Whatever happens, I will be praying for you.

God bless ya, Andrew.

Quoting:
She has made it clear that she wants nothing to do with you.  Have you considered that it is more a reflection on HER instead of YOU?  Maybe she is the weird one.  From your posts here I see that you are a smart, introspective guy.  Her loss, I say.
End Quote

This was my first thought, too.  Honey, if you need to talk, feel free to come here and talk.   :)

Quoting:
Their is this woman about a year younger than me, who works near where I work,
a few years ago I introduced myself to her,
at first things went great,
but then I screwed up Big time,and I do mean bigtime
She thinks I'm "weird"
I never got to really know her well, I never got to go out with her even on a first date,
Sometimes I see her on the Street, near where I work, she  doesn't say  hi to me, I don't say hi to her,

Everytime I see her, it's like a DAGGER in my Heart, I wonder just what MIGHT have been,
I'm so angry at myself, I can't get over it, I sometimes dream about her, Her and I getting married.

I long to be with her, if Not in this life, then hopefully I pray in the Afterlife(When we are Both in Heaven)
if Not Romantically, then  at least her and I can be friends in the Afterlife
Does God feel my PAIN.
This Girl doesn't even want to be friends with me.
I'm 30, she's 29.
Why did this happen, Why Lord,
I am a Christian, yet sometimes I wonder does God understand my pain.
I sure hope it is possible that in the Afterlife, I can at least be Friends with her.
The "Weirdness" she saw of me,  that is NOT the Real me.
I see her near where I work, at least once, a week,
and trust me, she is a Goddess, from what a Friend told me, she is a REAL "sweetheart", EVERY time, every week I see her, it is a Literal DAGGER in my Heart, I don't think she "hates" me, she just doesn't like me and thinks I'm weird
  Who knows, maybe she thinks to herself, what COULD have been, if I didn't Screw up Big Time,Maybe she shares my Pain?

With God anything is possible, but would God allow me to be Friends with  her in the Afterlife?

For Example I really want to see the Movie Star Wars Episode 3 when it comes out in 2005
But if Heaven Forbid I should die before it comes out (Since with God  anything is possible)
And since God is All-powerful, God has the power to let me see the movie in the Afterlife, but would God allow  it?
End Quote

This is just obsession or infatuation(getting married part.) How do you know she thinks your weird? You were like nervous of seeing her or something? Why don't you say hi? I don't understand. If she don't say hi back than move on. I have been through similar what you have been through(somewhat.)

Quoting:
As for "Pam" I think she is a Christian, although probably a "nominal" one, not the born again type.

Anyway, does anyone think, that at least in the afterlife it would be possible for me to at Least be Friends with her, for her to know the Real me.
I'd be thrilled to have the honor of being in her circle of friends.
End Quote

Wait... isn't she the one who supposedly thinks you are weird and will not give you the time of day?  From how you have described her, being in her circle is a dubious "honor".

Instead, how about being honored to be in the circle of friends of your current girlfriend?

Grass always seems greener, my friend,  :-/ but rarely is.

Quoting:
As for what God will or will not let you do in the afterlife, I suspect that He is VASTLY more interested in how you spend the life you are living RIGHT NOW.  I suspect that He would say "I put plenty of fine women on the Earth for you to choose from, so move on to the next one."  We have our life to enjoy in the present... not to simply while away the time waiting for the afterlife.  Idly wasting the life we have is a sin!
End Quote

This is bang on, Andrew. I felt depressed after unrequited love but it dawned on me that regardless of how depressed I was, the girl in issue didn't give my pain a second thought.

After that, I fell for a girl who had a social phobia - blimey that was tough going as well. I saw her twice and that was it.

What I am trying to say is that you will always find another woman better than the one you are trying to get over. Believe it and it will happen.  :D

Quoting:
Andrew,

Your current girlfriend may not appreciate being in second place. If she is good to you, don't take her for granted. Focus on the goodness right in front of you.

If you should lose your current girlfriend because of your state of mind, behaviours and attitudes stemming from your ideas about "Pam", you may end-up with much more regret. Think about the girl who's there loving you back.
End Quote

This is also bang on as well, Andrew - Gosh! There are so many insightful people on this forum.  :)

Quoting:
I am soo ANGRY at myself for how I screwed up with her a couple of years ago, I can't seem to forgive myself.

Just Hypothetically, if she posed for Playboy, would it be good or bad in your opinion, for me to view her.
End Quote

Andrew... You need to take a time-out here.  If you continue down this path, your current GF is gonna pick up on it and adios amigo.

Quit thinking about "Pam".  Force yourself to think about something else.  Football, Decades Messsageboard, Yankees, whatever.  And if you do not do this already, why not start working out?  It will make you feel better and burn off the energy.

By the way... you seem to be a Christian kind of dude from the posts that I have seen.  If "Pam" did a spread in Playboy, I would imagine that you would be disgusted.

By the way, if I may ask, exactly how did you "screw up" with her in the past?

Quoting:
Am I really letting myself obsess over it?End Quote

Absolutely.

At this point, it seems clear to me you may need professional counseling in order to help you sort out, understand and better manage your feelings and emotions.

Obsessions, especially to this degree, are not healthy. :-/

P.S. Have you made any effort in appreciating your current girlfirend?

Quoting:
Am I really letting myself obsess over it?
At times I feel miserable over it.
Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.
End Quote

From experience you are going drain yourself out. Don''t beat yourself to death by thinking about it so much. Its just a crush. She's a person like everybody else. You can't go out with her right? So don't worry about it. The way I look at it is there is so many out women there. One woman isn't going to make a diifference. They are plenty of other women. You have a girlfriend so value what you have.

Quoting:
Sometimes I wonder

"If I were to be killed in an accident or murdered, or die young, and "Pam" heard about it, since she works near where I work, would she feel sorry, for me, how would my Death affect her, if at all,
She thinks I'm a "loser"
At least I think she probably views me as a "loser"
End Quote

This is called 'Catastrophizing' and I learnt about it while I was depressed. It's the 'ability' to make a situation far, far worse than it actually is by thinking about and judging it from your own angle. It happens usually when a person has a low self esteem.

I am not saying, in any way, that your situation isn't bad. To you it is. A crash of the ego is always debilitating.

A word of advice though Andrew. If you keep writing the same thing over and over again, people will think you are not taking anything they are saying on board.  ;)

Quoting:
It's just that when I see her, I get angry at myself inside, for screwing up. I can't seem to forgive myself.
End Quote

What exactly did you do?

Quoting:
I don't want to go into details.
End Quote

Sorry Andrew but LOL.

Quoting:
Does Anybody else here, regardless of what Religion you are,

Share the hope, the wish that I have that at least in the Afterlife, you could have a Relationship, or at least friendship with someone you couldn't have in Earthly life.
End Quote

Well, I am a Catholic and let me share with you my tale of woe about speculation regarding the Afterlife.

About 10 years ago, my father died after a very long and fulfilling life.  He was 86 and basically "wore out".  He was a great Dad.  Anyway, at the funeral and at other gatherings, the Priest and other people, thinking that they were "comforting" my Mother, said things like "Gee you will see him again sooner than you know.  When you die and go to heaven you will get to see LyricBoy's Dad again!".

This was about the WORST thing they could have told her.  For more than a year she was convinced that she would die soon and that she and Dad would be together again.  Shut out most of the friends in her life because she was "ready for the afterlife".

Fortunately for my Mom, one of her friends got sick, and my Mom had a "project" to work on... helping her friend live a better life.  For the past 9 years Mom has had a great life, with all the usual ups-and-downs, and has helped many people in their lives.

So back to your question Andrew.  Yes, I suppose that in the Afterlife, I will get to see again many persons who I've known who passed on.  And since the Afterlife (in my opinion) is devoid of "bad feelings", I will probably be on "good terms" with people who, maybe, were my enemies in my life on earth.  

That is cool.  But BEFORE THAT, I gotta make the most of the life that I have and continue to help others.  THAT WAY, I WILL GET TO SEE EVEN MORE PEOPLE IN THE AFTERLIFE because I will have been involved in more peoples' lives.  ;D

Quoting:
In, fact part of the reason why I have trouble getting over her, is because she works near where I work,
and I see her like once a week, sometimes, twice.
End Quote

I long for her to see the "Real" me, in the Afterlife.

Quoting:
In, fact part of the reason why I have trouble getting over her, is because she works near where I work,
and I see her like once a week, sometimes, twice.
End Quote

Andrew, I'd recommend that you avoid seeing her.  Maybe take a different route to work or otherwise "avert your eyes" when you walk past her store (or place of work).

Pining over her is not going to make you any happier.  Besides, you have so much to offer to people who DO like you... so give your existing friends the full dose of "The Walnut" !  ;D

Quoting:
Thank, you everyone here for listening to my story.
End Quote

That's okay.  :)

Quoting:
Sorry, but don't you think you're being a little too obsessive i regards to Pam and your afterlife.
End Quote

Yes he is. :-/

Now I must lock this thread.

Andrew,

Repetitively obsessive threads will be locked from now on.

Sorry dude.