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Subject: The year's best headlines of 2002

Written By: cs on 01/14/03 at 06:36 a.m.

A friend sent this to me.  I thought it was funny.  cs

THE YEAR'S BEST HEADLINES OF 2002

Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?

Prostitutes Appeal To Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Miners Refuse To Work After Death

Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant

War Dims Hope For Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

Crack Found On Governor's Daughter

! Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed Needy

Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors

Subject: Re: The year's best headlines of 2002

Written By: Rice Cube on 01/14/03 at 08:51 a.m.


Quoting:
A friend sent this to me.  I thought it was funny.  cs

THE YEAR'S BEST HEADLINES OF 2002

Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

End Quote



I swear, if they started giving out redeeming points for running down jaywalkers, I would so do it ;D

"oooh, family of five!  1250 points!"  ;D

Subject: Re: The year's best headlines of 2002

Written By: philbo_baggins on 01/15/03 at 02:32 a.m.


Quoting:
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
End Quote



So many of these are perfect - you know exactly what they're trying to say, but the alternative meaning is even clearer..

I wonder how many were deliberate?

Phil

Subject: Re: The year's best headlines of 2002

Written By: shazzaah on 01/15/03 at 09:01 a.m.

oh, man, chuckles. Did they even hire editors?  ;D

Subject: Re: The year's best headlines of 2002

Written By: CatwomanofV on 01/15/03 at 11:25 a.m.

There is a book called "Anguish English" by Richard Learer (or something like that). He has a lot of those headlines, plus court transcripts, insurence claims, etc. The book is hystical. I was laughing so hard that I was crying. He also has a sequel "More Anguish English." I recommend them highly.



Cat