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Subject: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
... and are still unmarried, have noticed a slight change in social gender roles in the 30+ age bracket?
I was recently in a discussion about this with some friends and would like to read other opinions and experiences on the matter.
It's like this: Beyond the age of 30, there are more single women than single men. As a result, men who reach the age of 30 without being married are no longer the hunters, but instead become the hunted. As such, single males in their 30's seem to have more control over a relationship than single males in their 20's and younger. It is almost as if power over the relationship passes from the girls to the guys.
I know in my own life that once I hit 30, it seemed as if the women were now crawling out of the woodwork to be with me and I was amazed at how different their attitudes towards me were compared to the women I knew in my 20's. (I finally got married at age 33.) They were much more accomodating and seldom ever tried to get me to change anything about myself. From my own point of view, it was sort of enjoyable (in a slightly sadistic sort of way) to watch the women compete over me rather than me having to compete over them. Many of my friends (both male and female) who also hit 30 without having "tied-the-knot" have similar experiences to relate.
So, is this just a local phenomenon or has this happened on a larger scale throughout the country and world. Inquiring minds want to know.
MCSEGuy
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
Quoting:
men who reach the age of 30 without being married are no longer the hunters, but instead become the hunted.
I know in my own life that once I hit 30, it seemed as if the women were now crawling out of the woodwork to be with me and I was amazed at how different their attitudes towards me were compared to the women I knew in my 20's. ....From my own point of view, it was sort of enjoyable (in a slightly sadistic sort of way) to watch the women compete over me rather than me having to compete over them.
End Quote
Gee, is this why there are NO men after me anymore for all these years now? (Not like I was a hot item before 30, but now - geeeesh. Just see my quote.)
I'm glad you told me that I'm supposed to do the hunting - I guess I better get my camoflage, binoculars and rifle at the ready! ;D
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
Age-wise I'm 42....Enjoying Life-wise I'm about 25!
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
Interesting take on over 30, mine doesn't paralell your situation though. My mid twenties to age 30 was pretty active and I always was the one in control, din't chase much but seemed to get caught quite frequently. At the age of 30 I kind of dropped out for awhile and didn't see anyone for quite sometime, after a date or two If I determined that there wasn't a long term chance I would drop it before it got complicated, and yes, that does include sleeping with them. Kinda wierd but a couple of things occured, one I met a woman who was very interested in my "take charge" personality cause she couldn't find a guy like that, found out why, she was more of a contol freak than I was. She was great at first, she was pretty, outgoing, excellant cook, made my house much more "homier", not the cold bachelor pad. I fell in love quick, and fell out of love quicker. The breakup wasn't ugly, just kinda made me think about what I wanted to involve myself with a lot more. The other occurance was the quick and cruel cancer death of my best friend, went from a sore back in May to memorializing him in August. I kinda removed myself from commitments for awhile, and didn't want to play games just to get laid. It wasn't a bad time, I wasn't lonely or depressed just choosing to be alone
At 34 I met my now wife and knew very quickly that she was the one, she was 27 at the time.
Yes, I'm still the controller and she is satisfied with that.
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
Hmmm,can't really comment I guess as my beloved is a toyboy !! But as for my single female friends there are one or two who are,shall we say a tad desperate but the majority who are single in their 30's are so by choice and are less prepared to put up with a prat just for the sake of having a partner.They'd rather be single until the right one comes along than be miserable with the wrong one for fear it's their 'last chance'.
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
I'm surprised by that fact! Being a 45-year-old bachelor, I'm surprised that there are lots more single women out there than single men! I guess my dream girl is still out there, if only I could find her…
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
My experiance is the women in the 30ish range who have remained single are more confident with there choices and independent with there lives than the Divorecee's who have been in a long term commited relationship, they're are often not comfortable with singlehood.
Quoting:
Hmmm,can't really comment I guess as my beloved is a toyboy !! But as for my single female friends there are one or two who are,shall we say a tad desperate but the majority who are single in their 30's are so by choice and are less prepared to put up with a prat just for the sake of having a partner.They'd rather be single until the right one comes along than be miserable with the wrong one for fear it's their 'last chance'.
End Quote
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
I am 35 and recently divorced. So I'm starting all over again.
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
I am over 30 and still looking. I was briefly (and I do mean briefly) married when I was 22. I would like to get married again if I could find someone who would want to marry me. I don't think control should be an issue. I don't think either should be in control...its a partnership...sometimes one give more than the other but that is life.
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
Quoting:
I am 35 and recently divorced. So I starting all over again.
End Quote
Are you ready to date again,Goldie?
I'm free 24/7. ;) ;D
howard :)
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
I am amazed at how much more aggresive women are now than 10 years ago. Maybe women in their 30's have given up on their dream of a perfect mate and Dynasty wedding. Maybe they are setteling on good guys who work and are willing to take care of a family and give love. Who knows, I could never guess exactly what women are thinging. I just want to have some fun!!! ;D
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
almost 32, twice divorced and happy as hell with the life I have now. Guess life starts after 30. Atleast for me it has!
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
Quoting:
I don't think either should be in control...its a partnership...sometimes one give more than the other but that is life.
End Quote
Hmm. Maybe I shouldn't have used the term "control" the way I did. I didn't mean control over the other person, I meant control over where the relationship was heading. In the late teens and early 20's, it is usually the woman who possesses most of that control. When 30 rolls around and people are still unmarried, it seems to pass over to the man.
But, from what I've read above, this seems to be more of a local thing. Thanks to everyone for responding.
MCSEGuy
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
It must be a local thing. Recently, my other and I signed up for this thing to meet people. We both put that we were in a long-term relationship (8 years is long term) and that we were only looking for new friends. He has gotten two responses from women who want to be friends, one from Europe, the other local who mentioned her husband quite a bit. I have recieved over 30 responses, all of them local, 29 of them from men who are looking for love, one from a woman looking for action, one from a man looking for a friend and one from a man who is looking for a friend and possibly more. All of these men are over 34 and under 48. This leads me to conclude that in my area, the men are doing the hunting...
As for control over the relationship, I think it depends on the people involved. I would never be in a relationship where the man controlled it, I am too strong-willed (read that as stubborn). I think one of the main reasons the relationship I am in now has worked out is because he's just as strong-willed as I am (wellllll.... maybe not quite, but close) and we're both willing to compromise. I have seen people who give up their convictions when they meet a new love, and personally, it makes me sick. Love should accept you, not change the core of who you are (little changes are inevitable, of course).
Marriage. Society thinks you're not a complete person unless you'e married and have offspring. What are the reasons for marriage? Religion? Kids? Well, I'm not religious and I'm not going to ever have kids, so all marriage is to me is a slip of paper and more confusion at tax time. I may get married one day, I may not. If I do, it's not going to be because society wants me to.
Subject: Re: How many of you guys over the age of 30 ...
I'm over 30 and single, and I stopped looking for women when I was in my mid-20's and realized I had absolutley nothing in common with the rest of the world. It was around this time I also realized I was The Skuz. Not that there aren't any that I find attractive mind you, but unfortunatley the number of women closer to my age that turn me on and are single is shrinking.