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Subject: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Here starts some other rhymes
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Good thing I've got some time
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
But, damn it, I've not
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
got a heck of a lot
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
of money, except for some dimes $ $ $ $ $
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Now that the long weekend is here
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
I think I'll pop open a beer
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
There is none in the house
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Because I'm married to a drunken louse..
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
So I gave him a kick in the rear.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
So now the bum has a sore ass
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And I took away his glass
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
So he drinks from the bottle
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
and stumbles and waddles
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
'Til the poor man releases his gas
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
I told him "don't do that in here"
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Your farts smell like rancid beer
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
But he thought it was funny
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And took all my money
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And flew out of there on a Lear
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
"The bastard!" I said when he left
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
I hope they arrest him for theft
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And throw away the key
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
and never let him pee
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And his mate gives him one on the (chin) cleft.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
He could serve a decade or two
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
In a cage, like an ape at the zoo
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
His banana's in danger
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Of a poke from a stranger
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
I knew you would say that, it's true! ;D
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Sex is bad behind prison walls :-X
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
(It's set up so that I will say "balls") :-X
So they snuck in a cute blow-up doll
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
But once they'd inflated
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And the doll they had mated
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
It chewed up and spat out their balls
(d'oh! I was conned into it...)
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
My husband was one of the few
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Who pulls down the seat at the loo
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Because after he pees
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
He wipes off his knees
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
But he forgets to wipe off his shoe
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Which is why I always take issue
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
With the texture of most toilet tissue,
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
It's hard and it's rough
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
So you can't use enough
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Then you drop it and hope it'll miss you
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
When using the toilet in public
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
public? WTF rhymes with public?
Remember your driver and niblick
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
You never can tell
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Quoting:
public? WTF rhymes with public?
Remember your driver and niblick
End Quote
Sorry, wasn't thinking :-[
Who has been there as well
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Be sure to wipe off the toilet
(close as I could get)
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
The man, afraid to get the clap
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
is very careful when taking a crap
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
'cause the crabs on his ring
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Makes his ding-a-ling sting
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And he blames it all on the claptrap.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
He should've covered the seat with paper
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Or a part of an old drape...er.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
then his butt would stay clean
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
'Least til he ate beans
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And you'll choke if you breath in the vapor
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Could one learn to crap while levitating?
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
That's an interesting image your creating.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
The poop would look unsightly
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
As it dropped down so lightly
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
All would see the crap that you're making. (Closer than the last one.)
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
I know, I've been a little sick.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
When all I can think of is a chick
(named Pam maybe? ::))
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
But just the same
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
The one to blame
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Is not the one with the d***.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Jan. you're really brave for a newbie.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Naw, if I was brave I would have spelled it out.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Now back to limericks:
They're once was a wonderin' newbie.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And they said I wonder who you be?
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Twas suppose to rhyme on this thread
But he didn't instead
So I had to fix the thread, you see!
(now start the next page)
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
There's one thing that newbies should know
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
That when you start to toggle to and fro
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
You might be surprised
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
When you focus your eyes
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Your monitor just seems to grow.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
You need to adjust the brightness
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
There once was a penguin named Indy
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
woops! you beat me to it...sorry!
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
These newbies need to learn where the modify link is.
DJ, click the modify link, edit your post, and then we can move on.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
(Ok, I've been waiting but shall we carry on?)
Last was...
You need to adjust the brightness
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Between the darkness and lightness
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
(thanks for the tip, jan! ;D sorry for the long wait - my internet's been down)
when your screen's "modified",
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Everyone knows you tried
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And your flippers will lose some of their whiteness!
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
When you've been here awhile you will find
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Very quickly you are losing your mind,
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
But just look in your pants
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Just before you glance
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And give 'em the ol' bump-and-grind.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
A brave exopthalmic from Mars,
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Had never before gone so far
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Stepping out of his craft,
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
He fondled his shaft,
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And said, "Where'er you 'come', there you are!"
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Here comes his own shooting star
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
As he drank at the ol' Comfort Bar
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
From his pants plasma sprayed
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
A new planet was made
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
So he smiled and lit up a cigar.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Governor A. Schwarzenegger,
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Has promised that he'll make things better
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
But the economy tanked
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
You could say that it stank
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And he sent a resignation letter. :-[
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
What - you saying that Arnie's resigned?
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Saw nothing of it in the Times
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
It must be a lie
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Oh, I knew it couldn't fly
I just needed to keep rhyming the lines. :-X
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Yes, Indy - I know what you mean
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
My intelligence isn't so sheen
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
But one thing is clear
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
We all post these with cheer
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
and are keeping the posts mainly clean
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
There once was a girl from Chicago
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Who wondered just where did her dog go
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And what did he do
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
sneak away for a poo
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Then he wondered just where did the log go.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
There once was a man named Thierry
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
He was Medievil and also was merry
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
He raised up his flagon....
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
but he was on the wagon.....
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And said "I must stick to dairy."
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
He fell in a puddle of mud
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And sent a complaint off to H.U.D.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
They told him "Tough Luck" :o
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And to 'go shag a duck'... :o
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
So he passed them off as a dud..... :-[
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
The Mayor of Kalmazoo...
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Snuck in a baby kangaroo
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
He hid dope in it's pouch
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Which made 'Roo say "Ouch!"
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Now Roos got not one bag, but two
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
or....
Now everyone's high at the zoo.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Quoting:
or....
Now everyone's high at the zoo.
End Quote
Sounds like a good first line to me...
The cheetahs and parakeets, too
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
King Kong dropped his Bong...
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
That he got off of Chong (as in Tommy Chong of Cheech & Chong) 8)
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
He wanted Cheech's stash
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Well I'm off to a fancy dress ball,
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Sorry, Holy, but the last word has to rhyme with "Stash".
Quoting:
Well I'm off to a fancy dress ball,
End Quote
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Quoting:
Sorry, Holy, but the last word has to rhyme with "Stash".
End Quote
ooops! I lost the plot there for a sec.
But he came down with a rash,
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And that's why the "blues" is his song.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
I can't work out where this is, so I'm starting anew
The limerick thread needs a bump
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
We must be in a rhyming slump :-/
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
So it's just you and me
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
The others I can't see
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Maybe they've all got the hump?
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Or maybe they all got burned out
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Less fun with just two, ain't no doubt
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
can I join in the rhyme?
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Sure, if you've got the time
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Or I fill Philbo's shorts with sauerkraut. (a Ren and Stimpy joke)
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
TTFN, next week I'm on holiday
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Are you gonna come our way?
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Nope, just North for a week
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
So you're back as we speak
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
It's as if Phil was never away !
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And now we are back to Square One.
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
All the rhymes that we've read and we've done
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
Were done mostly by us
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And Zella and Fuss
Subject: Re: Rhymes of the Times (New Limerick Thread)
And mostly we have lots of fun. ;D