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This is a topic from the Penguin Board Games forum on inthe00s.
Subject: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Dude on 06/19/03 at 03:32 a.m.
I'm going to try this again. The one I started yesterday somehow......got gone?? :-/
I knew a young lass from Raceda........
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/19/03 at 04:02 a.m.
Who married a dirty old bleeder
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 06/19/03 at 04:17 a.m.
He drank and he cursed
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 06/19/03 at 04:32 a.m.
But what was much worse..
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 06/19/03 at 06:14 a.m.
Was his insistence on being called Freda!
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/19/03 at 06:25 a.m.
By day he would drive a large tanker
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 06/19/03 at 06:27 a.m.
It was owned by a rich merchant banker
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/19/03 at 07:33 a.m.
And he was the meanest
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 06/19/03 at 07:44 a.m.
But alas, not the cleanest
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/19/03 at 08:10 a.m.
In fact, t'was his odour that sank her
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Dude on 06/19/03 at 09:40 a.m.
Now, Freda had a sister named Fred.......
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/19/03 at 10:25 a.m.
Who wanted to wed Ted, she said
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 06/19/03 at 09:12 p.m.
So she rented a suit,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 06/20/03 at 06:01 a.m.
And spit polished his boots
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 06/20/03 at 07:10 a.m.
Quoting:
And spit polished his boots
End Quote
So he figured she gave good.... massages....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/20/03 at 07:29 a.m.
There once was a bus called Vernon
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Trueblue on 06/20/03 at 08:04 a.m.
who for a VW he was yearnin'
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 06/20/03 at 08:05 a.m.
They made loud metal love....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Trueblue on 06/20/03 at 08:09 a.m.
like the touch of a dove
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 06/20/03 at 08:10 a.m.
While their engines were madly churnin'
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 06/21/03 at 02:38 a.m.
What a gut wrenching thing is love! :(
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Dude on 06/21/03 at 04:19 a.m.
No way it comes from "above"! :-/
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/21/03 at 07:18 a.m.
It is filled with despair....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 06/21/03 at 10:12 a.m.
And sadness, its clear..
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/21/03 at 03:10 p.m.
When the push, it does come to shove :o
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/21/03 at 08:46 p.m.
A swami from old Timbuktu
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Indy Gent on 06/21/03 at 10:38 p.m.
Could play those rhythm and blues
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 06/22/03 at 01:50 a.m.
So he cut a CD,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Trueblue on 06/22/03 at 05:37 a.m.
and also starred on TV
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/23/03 at 07:16 a.m.
With a sultry soul-singing chantoose
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/24/03 at 04:48 a.m.
Once a little engine thought he could.... :)
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/24/03 at 06:41 a.m.
work harder if he drank lots of Bud
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/24/03 at 07:05 a.m.
So he filled up his firebox
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 06/24/03 at 07:11 a.m.
And began singing Ultravox...
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/24/03 at 07:32 a.m.
Till our ears started leaking blood ! :'(
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/25/03 at 03:36 a.m.
The trouble with full bloody ears
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 06/25/03 at 03:39 a.m.
Is it is bound to end in tears
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/25/03 at 06:31 a.m.
Get out some Q-tips
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/25/03 at 09:29 a.m.
Start cracking your whips
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 06/26/03 at 02:18 a.m.
And if that fails, have a few beers.
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Dude on 06/26/03 at 02:51 a.m.
"A few beers" can make anyone a singer.......
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/26/03 at 04:45 a.m.
They make think you're a humdinger
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 06/26/03 at 05:21 a.m.
You sing in tune
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 06/26/03 at 06:18 a.m.
You're best at full moon
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/26/03 at 06:21 a.m.
But really you're a minger
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 06/27/03 at 06:35 a.m.
There's nothing to watch on TV,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/27/03 at 06:38 a.m.
except the soaps and BB
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 06/27/03 at 06:43 a.m.
I'm pulling the plug!
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 06/27/03 at 07:02 a.m.
Then I'll put on the jug....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/27/03 at 07:05 a.m.
and make a nice cup of tea
(assuming you mean jug kettle)
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 06/27/03 at 07:10 a.m.
Women are much better cooks,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/27/03 at 09:16 a.m.
Than elephants, doggies or ducks
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 06/27/03 at 09:19 a.m.
And men I might add,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/27/03 at 10:21 a.m.
C'mon they're not that bad
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/27/03 at 10:24 a.m.
'Cause, you don't go with us for our looks ;-)
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 06/29/03 at 02:21 a.m.
Whilst eating spagetti in Rome,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 06/29/03 at 02:26 a.m.
Wondered where this got to ! :D
I spyed my good friend Jerome..
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 06/29/03 at 02:33 a.m.
I invited him over,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 06/29/03 at 04:27 a.m.
And we shared some pavlova
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/30/03 at 07:11 a.m.
Until his hands started to roam ;-)
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/30/03 at 07:43 a.m.
The guy in the next office to me
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 06/30/03 at 07:44 a.m.
Sneaked some whisky into his cup of tea
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/30/03 at 07:53 a.m.
I added some gin
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 06/30/03 at 08:16 a.m.
And some vodka went in
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 06/30/03 at 09:30 a.m.
And sho now he'sh as pished ash can be
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/30/03 at 10:07 a.m.
And now the boss has been in :o
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Indy Gent on 06/30/03 at 02:05 p.m.
He told the slacker, "Let's begin!"
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/01/03 at 03:05 a.m.
But the poor guy can't stand
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/01/03 at 03:08 a.m.
On his bum he did land
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/01/03 at 03:22 a.m.
Now he begs on the street with a tin
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/01/03 at 03:43 a.m.
It was a dark and stormy night...
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/01/03 at 03:49 a.m.
I was cruising the streets for a fight
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/01/03 at 03:51 a.m.
I spotted this guy
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/01/03 at 03:51 a.m.
With a patch on one eye
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/01/03 at 04:14 a.m.
And a smell reminiscent of shite
(modified to correct my spelling :-()
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/01/03 at 05:32 a.m.
I would like to retire one day....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/01/03 at 05:41 a.m.
And spend every night and all day
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/01/03 at 05:47 a.m.
Just watching TV
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/01/03 at 06:03 a.m.
And eating Curly-Wurly
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/01/03 at 06:44 a.m.
On the couch with my feet up I'd stay!
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/01/03 at 07:15 a.m.
I drove a nail right through my hand :o
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/01/03 at 07:22 a.m.
From DIY I should be banned
Seriously I hope you're allright
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 07/01/03 at 07:23 a.m.
It made me look 'tough'
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/01/03 at 07:34 a.m.
and made feel gruff
(Thank you Karen, it was a hypothetical nail only!) :)
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 07/01/03 at 07:43 a.m.
And to think it was not even planned!
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/01/03 at 08:05 a.m.
I drilled through my thumb with a drill
Well, actually it was my finger... but that didn't scan as well: the perils of being offered a beer while doing DIY
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/01/03 at 08:09 a.m.
With some putty the hole I did fill,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/01/03 at 08:35 a.m.
And when it dried
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/01/03 at 04:52 p.m.
I filed each side,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/02/03 at 03:21 a.m.
So now I am writing my will ;-)
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/02/03 at 03:26 a.m.
There once was a man from Japan
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/02/03 at 05:00 a.m.
Who drank condensed milk from the can
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/02/03 at 05:18 a.m.
When it sprayed up his nose
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/02/03 at 05:21 a.m.
He sneezed over his clothes
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/02/03 at 06:49 a.m.
And *that*'s when the s**t hit the fan
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/02/03 at 07:59 p.m.
In an amazing twist of fate,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/03/03 at 03:39 a.m.
In came his cleaner, Kate,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/03/03 at 03:43 a.m.
She wiped the fan down
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/03/03 at 05:43 a.m.
With a chiffon ballgown
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/03/03 at 05:49 a.m.
Which made her dance partner irate
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/03/03 at 06:08 a.m.
For cleaning a sh*t-hit fan
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/03/03 at 06:25 a.m.
It's best to use gloves if you can,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/03/03 at 06:32 a.m.
with lots of hot water
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 07/03/03 at 07:05 a.m.
Quoting:
with lots of hot water
End Quote
Just like you oughter
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/03/03 at 11:16 a.m.
and soap - so it's soon spick and span
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/03/03 at 10:10 p.m.
For the weekend I have a great plan!
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/04/03 at 05:57 a.m.
Does it involve Oil Of Ulan (Olay !) ?
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/04/03 at 06:08 a.m.
More like barbeque sauce,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/04/03 at 06:43 a.m.
I nodded and said "of course" !
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/04/03 at 07:17 a.m.
Cos I'm just making lunch for my clan.
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 07/04/03 at 07:30 a.m.
Olay would taste bad on the grill....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/04/03 at 07:32 a.m.
Of cream you've had your fill ??? :o
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 07/04/03 at 07:42 a.m.
It's thick and it's yummy
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/04/03 at 07:50 a.m.
It sinks in the tummy
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/04/03 at 07:54 a.m.
The thought of it makes me ill :-X
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/04/03 at 08:28 a.m.
After phoning the Austrian tourist board.......
Whilst kangaroo hunting in Sydney
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/04/03 at 08:33 a.m.
One hopped right into my chimney :-/
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/04/03 at 08:35 a.m.
It blocked up the pipe
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/04/03 at 09:13 a.m.
It was just the wrong type
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/04/03 at 09:15 a.m.
So i gave him a punch in his kidney
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 07/04/03 at 05:37 p.m.
An eager young boa constrictor
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/04/03 at 05:39 p.m.
Chuckled 'cos he had tricked her
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 07/04/03 at 05:44 p.m.
She fainted in coils
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/04/03 at 05:58 p.m.
her hair was in foils ???
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 07/04/03 at 06:00 p.m.
But to her surprise, he only licked 'er!
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/05/03 at 05:56 a.m.
While relaxing in front of the telly.....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/05/03 at 06:35 a.m.
and grossly scratching my belly :-/
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/05/03 at 08:13 a.m.
A spider jumped out.....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Peregrin on 07/05/03 at 10:22 p.m.
it made me shout
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Meriadoc on 07/05/03 at 10:27 p.m.
And all of my bones turned to jelly
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Peregrin on 07/05/03 at 10:31 p.m.
One day I hijacked a tank.....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Meriadoc on 07/05/03 at 10:48 p.m.
And ran thru the front door of a bank
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Peregrin on 07/05/03 at 11:13 p.m.
I demanded all the money :)
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Meriadoc on 07/05/03 at 11:27 p.m.
They looked at me funny
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Peregrin on 07/05/03 at 11:29 p.m.
I knew my plan was one big *ank
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/05/03 at 11:39 p.m.
When all was going to plan
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Meriadoc on 07/05/03 at 11:43 p.m.
It got screwed up by a man
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Peregrin on 07/06/03 at 00:37 a.m.
He had been told by his wife... :o
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/06/03 at 00:53 a.m.
To go get a life....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Meriadoc on 07/06/03 at 00:55 a.m.
And he ended up living in his van.... :'(
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Peregrin on 07/06/03 at 00:58 a.m.
This man then was set on revenge...
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Meriadoc on 07/06/03 at 01:01 a.m.
So he set out to topple Stonehenge
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Peregrin on 07/06/03 at 01:06 a.m.
So he gave a big push
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Meriadoc on 07/06/03 at 01:07 a.m.
And it crushed him to mush
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Peregrin on 07/06/03 at 01:10 a.m.
And he was heard to have a big whinge
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Stompgal on 07/06/03 at 04:49 a.m.
A young man went to Britain
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/06/03 at 08:45 a.m.
Despite his fear of being bitten,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: DaChazman on 07/06/03 at 03:17 p.m.
He got bit by a bug...
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 07/06/03 at 08:03 p.m.
Some type of rare slug
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/07/03 at 02:34 a.m.
And that was rather fittin'
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/07/03 at 03:54 a.m.
I'm just having a nice cup of tea
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/07/03 at 04:48 a.m.
Would you care to pour one for me...
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Rock_Princess on 07/07/03 at 04:54 a.m.
With one spoon of sugar
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/07/03 at 04:57 a.m.
A drop of milk if you'd bother
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/07/03 at 05:50 a.m.
Must go now, it's gone half past three
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/07/03 at 05:57 a.m.
Just as a complete aside to this I've just been moaned at at work for laughing to loudly as I read this thread.
Right now for the next limerick
One man went to mow a meadow
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/07/03 at 06:05 a.m.
Along with his blue heeler Freddo
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/07/03 at 06:23 a.m.
They took a packed lunch
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/07/03 at 06:30 a.m.
And leftover brunch
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/07/03 at 06:37 a.m.
Then over the hills they did head-o
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/07/03 at 06:58 a.m.
We are trying to buy a new car
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/07/03 at 07:16 a.m.
but the money doesn't take us far...
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/07/03 at 08:04 a.m.
What you get for 10 cents
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/07/03 at 08:18 a.m.
Is a criminal offense,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/07/03 at 10:08 a.m.
It won't even buy you a Skoda
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/07/03 at 10:56 a.m.
I'm happy with my little Fiat
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Stompgal on 07/07/03 at 11:19 a.m.
Whose headlamps look strange and weird
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/07/03 at 11:40 a.m.
It goes really quick
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Indy Gent on 07/07/03 at 06:13 p.m.
Now let's get back to our limericks board. ;)
There once was a man in a Yugo.
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/08/03 at 03:32 a.m.
Who read a book by Victor Hugo
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/08/03 at 05:12 a.m.
His name was Les Mis
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/08/03 at 05:47 a.m.
He had a coupla kids...
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Indy Gent on 07/08/03 at 01:26 p.m.
But he had to let a fugo (few go). ;D
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/08/03 at 10:21 p.m.
There was an apple that was green....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 07/08/03 at 10:23 p.m.
It tasted just like gasoline
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/08/03 at 10:27 p.m.
I spat it out
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Zella on 07/08/03 at 10:35 p.m.
Just like a lout
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/08/03 at 10:42 p.m.
And to the greengrocer, vented my spleen >:(
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 03:39 a.m.
The greengrocer gave me bananas
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/09/03 at 03:46 a.m.
To feed to my family of llamas
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/09/03 at 05:18 a.m.
Some were bent
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/09/03 at 05:41 a.m.
So off the deep end I went
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 06:33 a.m.
And fed bananas to llamas in pyjamas ;-)
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/09/03 at 06:38 a.m.
If I wanted Potato and Gravy......
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 06:42 a.m.
I'd sign up to the ol' Royal Navy
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/09/03 at 06:46 a.m.
I'd sleep in the galley
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/09/03 at 06:58 a.m.
'longside Kirsty Alley
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 07:54 a.m.
The Cap'n and cabinboy Davy
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/09/03 at 07:57 a.m.
Once a lone Merchant Seaman....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 08:10 a.m.
Summoned a red, scaly demon
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/09/03 at 08:34 a.m.
that was a mistake
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 08:35 a.m.
For it made the ground shake
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/09/03 at 10:16 a.m.
then turned into David Seamon
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Stompgal on 07/09/03 at 11:39 a.m.
There was an old woman from France
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/09/03 at 12:16 a.m.
Who honestly thought she could dance
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/10/03 at 06:09 a.m.
She did The Hustle....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/10/03 at 06:15 a.m.
then pulled her calf muscle
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/10/03 at 06:40 a.m.
And fell over, tearing her pants
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/10/03 at 06:52 a.m.
She searched for a needle and thread....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/10/03 at 07:07 a.m.
But made do with a stapler instead,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/10/03 at 07:11 a.m.
But then she drew blood...
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/10/03 at 07:25 a.m.
'Cause the stapling stud,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/10/03 at 08:28 a.m.
went into her nail bed
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/10/03 at 09:51 a.m.
She looked for a small sticky plaster
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Taoist on 07/10/03 at 09:53 a.m.
And she prayed for the wound to heal faster
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/10/03 at 09:59 a.m.
But it bled more and more
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/10/03 at 10:29 a.m.
and made a puddle on the floor
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/11/03 at 01:51 a.m.
It was quite a medical disaster.
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/11/03 at 04:25 a.m.
And the doctor took ages and ages
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Stompgal on 07/11/03 at 04:43 a.m.
He went through some numerous stages
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Indy Gent on 07/11/03 at 06:23 p.m.
The patient had enough
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/11/03 at 09:49 p.m.
And went off in a huff
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/12/03 at 07:10 a.m.
and had to get treated for rages
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/12/03 at 08:16 a.m.
At anger management classes
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Grendle on 07/12/03 at 10:58 p.m.
Everyone needed new glasses
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: VirtuosoClaptrap on 07/12/03 at 11:25 p.m.
They had a sub teacher
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Grendle on 07/12/03 at 11:29 p.m.
Whose very best feature
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: VirtuosoClaptrap on 07/12/03 at 11:51 p.m.
was giving out sick passes
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/13/03 at 05:33 a.m.
When we all came down with a virus...
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/13/03 at 06:26 a.m.
The boss decided to fire us,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/14/03 at 06:08 a.m.
We called in the union
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/14/03 at 06:42 a.m.
Which sort of badly rhymes with onion... :'(
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/14/03 at 07:04 a.m.
And we wondered about all the Fuss ! ;D
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/14/03 at 08:25 a.m.
So we called for industrial action
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/14/03 at 08:40 a.m.
He would pay for this terrible infraction,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/14/03 at 09:54 a.m.
after one day on strike
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/14/03 at 08:45 p.m.
The boss (who's called Mike),
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/15/03 at 03:41 a.m.
U-turned and sent out a retraction
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/15/03 at 07:00 a.m.
But the workers were not happy
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/15/03 at 07:31 a.m.
As the dress code included a nappy
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/15/03 at 07:34 a.m.
They rang home to Mummy
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/15/03 at 08:45 a.m.
To ask for a dummy
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/15/03 at 09:09 a.m.
To spit at the trade union chappy.
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/16/03 at 06:36 a.m.
But the union guy had run off....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/16/03 at 06:39 a.m.
With a poet called Roger McGough
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/16/03 at 06:42 a.m.
They kissed out the back....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/16/03 at 07:12 a.m.
But when they hit the sack
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/16/03 at 07:14 a.m.
McGough, well he hopped off ::)
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/16/03 at 07:39 a.m.
So the union guy turned to drink
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/16/03 at 07:46 a.m.
And told McGough "You Stink" >:(
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/16/03 at 10:07 a.m.
So answered the poet:
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/17/03 at 06:09 a.m.
"Well wouldn't ya know it....."
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Indy Gent on 07/17/03 at 05:24 p.m.
My words cannot rhyme
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/18/03 at 04:44 a.m.
Quoting:
My words cannot rhyme
End Quote
..so I think
=======NEW LIMERICK======
While reading the Exchange and Mart
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/18/03 at 05:08 a.m.
I saw an ad for a yellow go-cart
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/18/03 at 05:48 a.m.
So I made them an offer,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/18/03 at 06:26 a.m.
Reached into the coffer....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/18/03 at 07:44 a.m.
but only found an old paint chart
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Dude on 07/19/03 at 04:15 a.m.
I've been gone for a while..........
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/19/03 at 04:16 a.m.
Which accounts for my lack of a smile,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Dude on 07/19/03 at 04:18 a.m.
But now you can grin......
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/19/03 at 04:22 a.m.
'cause Dude's back in
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Dude on 07/19/03 at 04:23 a.m.
I'm so glad y'all like my style! ;D
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/19/03 at 04:25 a.m.
In walked a stylish Dude.....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Dude on 07/19/03 at 04:27 a.m.
WHo was in a quite jovial mood!
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/19/03 at 04:27 a.m.
He started to sing,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Dude on 07/19/03 at 04:31 a.m.
Though his voice, it did sting....... :-/
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/19/03 at 07:11 a.m.
Though the song he sung was quite crude :o
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: VirtuosoClaptrap on 07/19/03 at 05:18 p.m.
New one...
The crude dude shooed away his bad mood....
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Grendle on 07/19/03 at 05:25 p.m.
By stuffing himself with much food
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: VirtuosoClaptrap on 07/19/03 at 05:36 p.m.
He stuffed himself to bursting
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Grendle on 07/19/03 at 05:38 p.m.
And then he was thirsting
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: VirtuosoClaptrap on 07/19/03 at 06:10 p.m.
So then the dude, he did start to brood...
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: Grendle on 07/19/03 at 11:09 p.m.
As he sat in his room in the nude
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: VirtuosoClaptrap on 07/19/03 at 11:26 p.m.
Checking out a website so lewd
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/21/03 at 04:05 a.m.
That he saw this one chick
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/21/03 at 04:30 a.m.
Made him log out real quick,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/21/03 at 04:49 a.m.
That she really got him in the mood
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/21/03 at 06:00 a.m.
When one is really in the mood...
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/21/03 at 06:03 a.m.
All kinds of things feel really good
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: mandamoo on 07/21/03 at 06:10 a.m.
I s'pose it kinda ryhmes.....with an English accent Philbo ;)
With a real little bit of this
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/21/03 at 06:29 a.m.
Quoting:
I s'pose it kinda ryhmes.....with an English accent Philbo ;)
End Quote
Not my accent!
I'm going to give this rhyme a miss
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/21/03 at 07:18 a.m.
Think it's time for some food :P
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/21/03 at 09:28 a.m.
Quoting:
I s'pose it kinda ryhmes.....with an English accent Philbo ;)
End Quote
It's what I call a "hymn" rhyme... i.e. it doesn't, but that didn't stop dozens of hymn writers using the "Food/Mood/Good/Wood(Would)" rhyme scheme
...OK a new one:
I hoped that she into bed would tuck me
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/21/03 at 05:15 p.m.
After a bath with my rubber duck-ee,
(As once again holydooley tries to drag it up from the gutter. ;D)
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/22/03 at 03:26 a.m.
with some smooth clean sheets
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/22/03 at 03:48 a.m.
Some ropes, cuffs and cleats
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/22/03 at 03:53 a.m.
The usage of which she'll instruct me
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/22/03 at 03:39 p.m.
This thread is in need of some prayers, ;D
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/23/03 at 03:51 a.m.
will it get much ruder, who dares?
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/23/03 at 04:04 a.m.
Well I'm blaming Phil, :P
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/23/03 at 04:11 a.m.
Yes I think I will
blame Phil that is
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/23/03 at 04:46 a.m.
Unlike us, an angelic pair...s! ;D
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/23/03 at 05:29 a.m.
Come, come now - I'm not the worst
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: karen (Guest) on 07/23/03 at 05:30 a.m.
I suppose at least you haven't cursed
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: philbo_baggins on 07/23/03 at 05:32 a.m.
Or sworn, or been lewd...
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: HolyDooley on 07/23/03 at 05:53 a.m.
Or shown yourself nude,
Subject: Re: There once was a.......new limericks thread
Written By: FussBudgetVanPelt on 07/23/03 at 06:41 a.m.
And would that be a first ??? :o :P