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This is a topic from the Penguin Board Games forum on inthe00s.
Subject: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 03/30/03 at 05:09 p.m.
She never sleeps
The Mystic came home to her crystal caverns one night after a long day of prophesying at the bank. She went straight to the television but ALAS, it only made her day worse. Much MUCH worse. She hated to watch it, yet her curiosity kept her eyes and ears focused on the program.
Bedtime. She tried to sleep, but she kept tossing and turning as the words kept running through her head:
"It was a beautiful flower from Sasha Cohen you know.....a beautiful flower from Sasha Cohen....it was so sweet from all the skaters....a beautiful flower from Sasha Cohen....a beautiful flower from Sasha Cohen..."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 03/30/03 at 10:19 p.m.
Waste perfectly good prose at the end of a locked thread? I think not.... :(
And lastly did the Indyman quoteth:
But Pippin was still at the Blazers game because they went into overtime with the Lakers. Even though he was washed-up and on the bench, he still thought he could be a part of a NBA championship run.
And Meriadoc did answereth:
And so Indy doth blithereth, blissfully unaware that Peregrine hath made a point of never watching Basketball, Football, Baseball etc. etc. as part of a one-man hobbit conspiracy to driveth Speedo Boy hopelessly insane, and also, therefore, Indy having the untrammled audacity (not to mention tenacity, duplicity and viscosity) to ejecteth sport into the Queen's beloved thread, is soon to findeth that he will be hopelessly and helplessly morphethed into a giant clam, and not a talking one either.... :o
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: wombert on 03/31/03 at 02:05 p.m.
And Chewbacca did interject, "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!" in his native Wookiee tongue, which being interpreted is:
"Looks like Sgt. Akbar will never become Admiral!"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 03/31/03 at 02:41 p.m.
MEANWHILE, the Queen waiteth for the Mystic to respond to the opening dialogue of this thread, for what a very clever opening it was! One which only those of the Sisterhood would understand the humor of.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Indy Gent on 03/31/03 at 05:16 p.m.
Which is unfortunately not a strong suit for our ADD guest Meriadoc, who is then banished into the world of games by the Mystic and the Queen, who then orders the sports hating ham's head taken off. ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: CrazyRacoonGurl124 on 03/31/03 at 06:46 p.m.
Meanwhile, The Raccoon was somewhere far, far away. She was just thinking (don't try this at home, kids) when who should come along but...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: MystiCofSingcratia on 03/31/03 at 09:15 p.m.
...
Saddaam Hussein.
Yes, that is right; in his utter confusion, the cowardly thug of a dictator hath lost himself in the Amnesia, seeking to escape his impending doom. Ultimately, and inevitably, he happeneth upon the glorious dwelling of the celebrated Mystic, who one may well know by now, can hardly turn a cold shoulder to any desperate visitor, no matter how pathetic; against better judgement, she inviteth him in to a pleasant dinner, and rest, and in his naivite, he accepteth. He is treateth to a sumptuous feast, and afterward, as is her custom, the euphonious Mystic engageth in song, lulling the Iraqui president into deep slumber from which nothing could wake him. The coniving Mystic then immediately tip-toeth into her kitchen, and rummageth in her hardware drawer, through a large assortment of nails, and, anyone who hath ever attended Sunday School under the teaching of the "Mother" of all SS teachers, knoweth how this development will end...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: the headless hobbit on 04/01/03 at 06:14 a.m.
The ghost of Meriadoc watched as JaeLofSyncratia scrabbled through her hardware drawer, wondering why she had forgotten to pick up more tent pegs the last time she was at the store.
And Merry wondered also when Peregrine would avenge him....
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/01/03 at 03:50 p.m.
But then the Buzzer rang, and it was time for the Mystic to go forth and teach yet another Sunday School lesson. But this one was for the class of teenagers. She told the tale of Potiphar's wife, how she greatly wanted that hottie named Joe. To demonstrate she sang the Missy Elliott song....
Needless to say, the Queen is now no longer the only one of her family who has been kicked out of Sunday School...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: CrazyRacoonGurl124 on 04/01/03 at 06:29 p.m.
It seemed that the Raccoon was the only good sister. :P
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/02/03 at 03:02 p.m.
Until she met Mary Jane...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: CrazyRacoonGurl124 on 04/03/03 at 01:45 p.m.
Hey, what are you tryin to say?? :P
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/03/03 at 06:27 p.m.
But it was too late for Mary Jane. Before she had time to possess the Raccon Gurl, the robotic Richard Simmons came to take her away.
"Whew!" said the Raccoon Gurl. "How can I ever thank you?"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/04/03 at 01:50 p.m.
"Well," said he, "you could START by bringing me Princess's Torso Men. Oh sure...they look buff.....IN PHOTOGRAPHS!!! But in reality...they're FAT!!! THEY'RE FAT!!!!!!!!!!"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 01:51 p.m.
Don't you know you can flex fat?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 04/04/03 at 01:53 p.m.
After yet another sleepless night, the Queen realized she would never cease to be haunted by the headless hobbit and that she had no choice but to do a singing spell and bring him back to life... ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 01:55 p.m.
And so they sang and danced in a ritual of darkness, with a little help from the Ents...Hoom!
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 04/04/03 at 01:58 p.m.
"That is so much better!" exclaimed Merry with relief, "I do so hate feeling lightheaded.... Now to locate Pippin and find some devious way to get even with the sportmonger..." :o
"But first! I must pay my cable bill!"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 01:59 p.m.
There are no bills in Mordor! cried the foul demon king Sauron.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 04/04/03 at 02:04 p.m.
"Oh Sugar!" said Merry. "Couldn't you have told me that before I did that automatic telephone check for $96?"
Mordor? Mordor? Hey! Wait a minute....
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 02:06 p.m.
You'd better get out the Capital One card before the Uruk-Hai overrun the place! :o
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 04/04/03 at 02:10 p.m.
But alas! All of Merry's Capital One cards had been maxed for long distance phone calls to Peregrin in Gondor...
Now what could be done?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 02:11 p.m.
You could switch to T-Mobile! Look, there's Catherine Zeta-Jones now! :D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 04/04/03 at 02:15 p.m.
But Merry already had T-Mobile. Unfortunately, altho' they had free calling throughout much of Middle Earth, that privelege did not extend to the land-down-Gondor... :'(
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 02:16 p.m.
My friend Alf suggests 10-10-220...Emmitt Smith, Mike Piazza and Terry Bradshaw concur. Mr. T wants you to use 1-800-COLLECT though, for reasons I can't divulge, but he is rather convincing, no?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 04/04/03 at 02:19 p.m.
Methinks Mr. Cube watcheth too much television...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Carrot Top on 04/04/03 at 02:19 p.m.
Dial right down the center Meriadoc!
C.A.L.L.A.T.T.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 02:21 p.m.
Mr. T sees Carrot Top and goes into Rocky III mode...his prediction? Pain...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Carrot Top on 04/04/03 at 02:23 p.m.
Quoting:
Mr. T sees Carrot Top and goes into Rocky III mode...his prediction? Pain...
End Quote
Oh no! Where did I leave my pants?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 02:25 p.m.
To which Doc Brown replies, "Pants? Where you're going you don't need pants..."
Mr. T chuckled in Mr. THX surround sound...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: CopyCube on 04/04/03 at 02:25 p.m.
Uh Oh! We seem to have reproduced a thread! Who hit that thaliaprodactor button? :o
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Dark Force on 04/04/03 at 02:31 p.m.
It is I, Dark Force who will squash the Carrot boy to death. It is then, that I will drink him out of my beer stein and belch.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 02:33 p.m.
The Dark Force will be most handy in Mr. T's everlasting fight against the evil powers of Carrot Top...whom he pities, the poor fool...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Carnie Freak on 04/04/03 at 02:36 p.m.
Please, please help that poor, poor Carrot head. Why he's our red-headed step child.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 03:38 p.m.
Adapted for Carrot Top:
Kill the Top! Slit his throat! Drink his blood!
And then open his head so stuff will come out and turn red :P
Ah, Lord of the Flies...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/04/03 at 06:16 p.m.
But then Carrot Top's MAMA, who was once Lil Orphan Annie, came to his rescue.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 06:19 p.m.
And then came Raggedy Ann and Andy, who looked like they needed a shower and a perm...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/04/03 at 06:26 p.m.
But before they could rinse, Martha Stewart came and turned them into light-switch covers.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 06:28 p.m.
So Batman had to swoop in, defeat Martha Stewart, give the Raggedys the antidote, and take evil Martha to Arkham Asylum.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/04/03 at 06:29 p.m.
...where they were greeted by Jon Arbuckle
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 06:32 p.m.
who was trying to keep Garfield from clawing out the padded walls...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: princessofpop on 04/04/03 at 06:46 p.m.
As the Queen patiently awaits the Princess' next headless torso, she starts to wonder...what is it exactly that is luring her to these sculpted masses of flesh? Is it the saltyness of their sweaty skin? Or is it simply the freakish curiosity of what it's like to be with a faceless creature?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 06:48 p.m.
Or perhaps she has been seduced by the cuisine of Hannibal Lecter...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/04/03 at 06:58 p.m.
OR she likes to imagine the face of her beloved "Bluto" atop the torso... :D "Ahh, yummy!" says she.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Emergency_Cube on 04/04/03 at 09:14 p.m.
Except, for whatever reason, Bluto liked anorexic women that he could tie into knots... ::)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/05/03 at 08:37 a.m.
The Queen was filled with much sorrow. "Well," she said to herself, "I guess I'll have to get the Mystic to make me stop eating." But the Queen couldn't find the Mystic anywhere. In fact, she couldn't find Wombert or the RaccoonGurl either.
So she had to sing herself to stop eating:
Where have all my sisters gone?
LONG TIME PASSING
Where have all my sisters gone?
Long time ago...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: princessofpop on 04/05/03 at 08:50 a.m.
testing 123
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/05/03 at 09:12 a.m.
Now the Queen was filled with much fear that her thread may randomly disappear.
She changed her song to:
Where have all the moderators gone...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: princessofpop on 04/05/03 at 09:15 a.m.
I bet the "Dark Force" has cast an EVIL spell on this thread. >:( He who messes with the Queen must be hanged!
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/05/03 at 05:16 p.m.
But the Queen had mercy (HA!) on this Dark Force and instead trasformed him into Paddington and sat alongside Junior Asparagus and Boris the Bear.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: CrazyRacoonGurl124 on 04/07/03 at 08:10 p.m.
Boris snickered. "Welcome to my treeeeeeeeee!"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Zella on 04/07/03 at 11:32 p.m.
Is it my imagination, or has this thread gotten a tad dull since it has become hobbitless? ???
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Dude on 04/08/03 at 03:12 a.m.
Gotten a tad dull? ::)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/08/03 at 09:50 a.m.
The Queen ignored these 2, since they rarely participated in the story anyway.
She cried out, "Princess? Princess? Wherefore art thou, O Princess of Pop? I have seen the very same torso for 2 days in a row"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: princessofpop on 04/08/03 at 09:57 a.m.
Why I am right here your majesty! Yes, it is true, my torso slave has stayed waaaay past his welcome. Although, I seem to be having some trouble finding another torso to hold captive that isn't fully nude. ;)
Therefore, I shall find a new slave tomorrow, only this time he won't be headless! :o
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/09/03 at 04:41 p.m.
The Queen knew that the Princess would chose wisely, so she planned to arrange an engagement to this new *slave* (Queen's can do that, ya know)
But what will become of her present suitor, Kirk?
AmenRa went to the Mystic to use her MCP-Ms. Cleo Powers. They held a seyance. The Mystic became possessed with the spirit of a small child and thus sang this song:
Sittin' on my fencepost, chewin' my bubblegum, playin with my yo-yo *doo-wop* *doo-wop*
Along came Kirky the Turkey, and he was THIS BIG I said "Kirky, what happened?" he said "I just saw the Queen..."
"Oh dear," said AmenRa. "He shall be greatly upset. Whatever shall I do?"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: CrazyRacoonGurl124 on 04/10/03 at 01:39 p.m.
"Well," said Kirky, "if you're not doing anything later..." ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice Cube on 04/10/03 at 06:17 p.m.
"...Let's go to Stanley Spadowski's Playhouse! Who wants to drink from the fire hose?"
:D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/11/03 at 10:35 a.m.
The Queen certainly did, but first she had to take care of a problem the Mystic was having. She was threatening to rid the board of her presence, seeing as some were complaining about her.
"I won't stay and be a burden to anyone," she said to AmenRa.
"NOBODY calls you that, sissy," the Queen replied.
"MMM? THEY do!" the Mystic shouted, pointing to various members of the board. "They say I SLEEP all day!"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: CrazyRacoonGurl124 on 04/14/03 at 01:29 p.m.
"Oh, Mystic, that's ridiculous," Queen AmenRa replied. "Everyone knows you never sleep..."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/14/03 at 03:50 p.m.
"That's right," the Racoon Gurl chimed in. "Because the world is spinning. When it stops, it's just beginning..."
However, her rambling was halted when suddenly...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/14/03 at 04:01 p.m.
...the Queen's post became invisible.
As if THAT weren't bad enough...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice Cube on 04/14/03 at 04:09 p.m.
...it appeared poor Rice Cube had fallen victim to the dreaded "straw man fallacy," whereafter he was soundly berated by the many guises of the Tarzan Boy. But Rice Cube shrugged it off and chuckled with mild embarrassment, for Rice Cube has been known to make these mistakes ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/15/03 at 03:03 p.m.
So he just walked along, but then he was tripped, and he fell into a Puddle of Mudd. He then heard a voice saying, "Aww... did I do that? OOPSY!!!" Rice began to cry, for he knew that this was the voice of...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice Cube on 04/15/03 at 03:26 p.m.
...Billy Barty, aka Noodles McIntosh! :o Or at least his reincarnated spirit...you see, Noodles had died tragically several years ago...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: QueenAmenRa on 04/15/03 at 03:43 p.m.
However, everyone thought he was a lizard
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 05/08/03 at 00:09 a.m.
Months past, and Meriadoc was becoming very bored in the guise of a headless wandering ghost of a hobbit. Finally, tiring of this existence, he went to visit the famous Dr. Naikrovek who hooked him up to his life machine, and voila! Merry was once again fully incarnate to the delight of his beloved Peregrin and disgust of the good Queen. To celebrate, the hobbits decided to hold a flatworm festival...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Homer Simpson on 05/08/03 at 12:10 a.m.
MMMmmmm....flatworms. ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 05/13/03 at 07:33 p.m.
Meriadoc at last becomes really and truly corporeal... :D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Indy Gent on 06/03/03 at 05:39 p.m.
And Peregrin married Malcolm Higgins and lived Dysfunctionally Happy Ever After. ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/03/03 at 06:19 p.m.
Ahhhhh...... IndyGent knew that Meriadoc needed a smile today.... :)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Indy Gent on 06/04/03 at 00:26 a.m.
Indy Gent also knew that the story thread needed to get rolling again. Now that Meriadoc was smiling again, his work was done, but the story is still continuing.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/05/03 at 08:33 a.m.
Now, when we last left our furry footed friends, they were...
Where were they? Indy, help! :o
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/05/03 at 09:25 a.m.
I think the Queen took them with her when she went away
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/06/03 at 01:04 a.m.
But they both escaped! And lo and behold, to Merry's delight, he found that the little bottle of elexir that he had nicked from the Queen's pantry contained a magic restorant, as powerful as a thousand hugs, guaranteed to cure tiredness due to barking-dog induced sleepless nights, sprained wrists, and stress-filled work days.... And an even bigger plus - it tasted just like Coke! So he poured a generous cupful for Peregrin.... :)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/06/03 at 04:37 a.m.
Quoting:
So he poured a generous cupful for Peregrin.... :)
End Quote
he?
who instantly leapt up and started to dance about shouting about the vision they had whilst in the deep deep sleep.
"It was marvellous. I understand all about...."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/06/03 at 03:18 p.m.
....but Pippin's words were cut off abruptly as the marvelousness of the revelation overwhelmed him. "That's much better! exclaimed Merry. "I do much prefer the strong, silent (and compliant) types...." ;)
Meriadoc contemplated the events of the past few months, while he had wandered lonely as a cloud ghost. The tragic crash of the Anteater and the loss of all those tribbles overwhelmed him with sadness, but he was relieved to think that never again would he have to taste a single banana. The Queen, upon her departure, had willed her magnificent wonderbra made from two baby alligators to Pippin, which had partially comforted him for his loss at never witnessing her second coming.
Somewhere on the loose however, was a collector from the Intergalactic Bank, looking for the cubelet heirs so as to extract the sum of $2,750.000.099 I.G.s drawn on the bank and not honored. "I hope'" murmered Merry, "that they don't send the paraflugiaglax....."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Peregrin on 06/07/03 at 01:34 a.m.
Pippin celebrated his return to the story by wrapping the alligator bra round Pippin's head, and inviting Merry to a 'private dance' to celebrate their reunification .... ;D :o
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/07/03 at 07:44 p.m.
Like the Germanys? ;D
Hmmmm..... if Indy doesn't get back in here and provide some new background this could devolve into a debautch.... :P ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Indy Gent on 06/07/03 at 09:22 p.m.
Indy Gent stopped by just in time to break up the Merry-Pippin tryst. Then the two of them went out looking for Malcolm, who was too busy having sex with Royce. "I hope he's into a four-way", replied Merry.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/07/03 at 09:25 p.m.
"Methinks Malky would do it with anything that couldn't run faster than him, and in any quantity" quipped Merry. "Doth IndyGent thinketh that Malcolm should be enlightened?"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Indy Gent on 06/07/03 at 09:29 p.m.
Indy said, "I don't care if Malky likes it or not. If he doesn't sign in to the story thread, he is up Sh!te Crick without a proverbial paddle." Merry and Pippin, overjoyed by this statement, went over to Malcolm's house and placed a padded bra over his eyes.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/07/03 at 09:32 p.m.
"But where oh where are the oreos?" inquired Merry? "Quick - someone go find Billy....." :P
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Indy Gent on 06/07/03 at 09:39 p.m.
So Pippin went in search of Billy dressed as a man of course. As soon as she knocked on his door, Billy answered and fainted. "Now I'll never know", gasped Billy, as he recognized Pippin's eyes. "Don't sweat it buddy", Pip answered. "I just came by to borrow your cookies." Then Billy fainted again. 'Men!", Pippin thought.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/07/03 at 10:49 p.m.
And as the trio burned a Plume under his nose, in an attempt to revive him, they all broke out into a rollicking chorus of "Billy Please Be Our Toy Boy"....
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/07/03 at 10:59 p.m.
they tried to revive Billy many times, but they just couldnt do it....it wasnt until Merry said he/she would reveal his.her true gender that Billy did awake.....
(got you here ;) )
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Peregrin on 06/07/03 at 11:10 p.m.
Lamentably for Billy F, Merry sent Peregrin to revive him, which Pippin did with illacrity (whatever that is) - everyone was happy - all that is, except, perhaps, Billy :P :P :P
No, got YOU Billy ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/07/03 at 11:15 p.m.
Then entered Michael, who said nothing and just followed everyone around and did nothing. But deep inside, he wanted to know the real identity of Merr-Pippen, and who stole his cookies...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/07/03 at 11:19 p.m.
And Merry then realized he must curb his behavior and so politely offered young Mikey some camomille tea....
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Peregrin on 06/07/03 at 11:23 p.m.
Mike! Don't use the term "Deep Inside" :o
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/07/03 at 11:23 p.m.
young Mikey then made a counter offer to see the answer, but Merry declined, Pippen did also...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/07/03 at 11:25 p.m.
And Merry said to Pippin "Ixnay on the aughtynay, eway avehay a inormay erehay!" :P
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/07/03 at 11:26 p.m.
Billy was getting very fstrated with the fact that he didnt know what gender Merry and Pippin were..so he decided that he was gonna call up Malcolm and set up a plan to find out once and for all what their genders are
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/07/03 at 11:28 p.m.
But first, you must promise to cover Mikey's eyes... :o
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/07/03 at 11:29 p.m.
Billy then said "ichaelMay nowskay igpay atinlay"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/07/03 at 11:31 p.m.
Michael then answered, "I am nlyoay a inormay by ayday, by ightnay I am UNION JACK!" He then broke out his costume, and flew into the sunlight. He then returned and commented how night fall wasnt until a few hours later. He then proceded to remove his costume and drink some tea.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/07/03 at 11:31 p.m.
"Well," replieth Meriadoc, "we could spell everything out and take away his spell checker!" ;) (We still love ya, Michael :) )
(Modified to spell my own name right.. ::) )
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Peregrin on 06/07/03 at 11:36 p.m.
Pippin recommendeth F7 in all micrsoft products - however stops short of recommendething all micrsoft products themselves ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/07/03 at 11:37 p.m.
Quoting:
"Well," replieth Meriadoc, "we could spell everything out and take away his spell checker!" ;) (We still love ya, Michael :) )
(Modified to spell my own name right.. ::) )
End Quote
lol
Michael then said that that would work...he lowered his head and started drawing pictures of the clock out of bordness simply because he felt left out...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/07/03 at 11:41 p.m.
now back to Billy's plan.....Billy invited Malcolm and Royce over to join him Merry, Pippin, Indygent and Michael so that the true identity of the hobbits would be discovered........but first, on the reconmendation of Merry, Billy told Michael that his stolen cookies were in the closet, and when he walked in therre, Billy Locked him in
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/07/03 at 11:41 p.m.
Suddenly all the friends heard a sharp rapping on the door. Merry peered out the window and was horrified to see that it was the paraflugiaglax holding the bad check that the late Rice had drawn on the Interglactic Bank.... "uh oh! Trouble..."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Peregrin on 06/07/03 at 11:43 p.m.
Pippin enquires if there will be dressup games at this Florio party :D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/07/03 at 11:43 p.m.
This looks like a job for UNION JACK, but hes locked in the closet...so everyone but Mikey is screwed!
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/07/03 at 11:44 p.m.
Isn't anyone concerned that there is a very angry paraflugiaglax outside the door? :o
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/07/03 at 11:47 p.m.
then the ghost of Rice cube appeared...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/07/03 at 11:57 p.m.
And was carted off screaming and yelling by the paraflugiaglaxic agent of the Interglactic Bank...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/07/03 at 11:58 p.m.
Billy told Pippin, that yes, there will be dress up games, but before that, everyone will have to get undressed.....Billy and Malcolms plans start to unfold...hahahahahaha
Also the ghost of Rice Cube can join in..and that monster thingy if he wants
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/08/03 at 00:00 a.m.
Night fell...
Union Jack survived in teh closet on his cookies, and then busted through the door just in time to see everyone naked...he once again felt left out, and drew pictures of the clock...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Peregrin on 06/08/03 at 00:01 a.m.
With disdain, Pippin noted that the paraflugiaglaxic agent of the Interglactic Bank, was in fact a gaint anteater
Ewwwww :-/ ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/08/03 at 00:04 a.m.
It morphed then - when last spotted it had lots of arms and eyes....
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/08/03 at 00:10 a.m.
Quoting:
It morphed then - when last spotted it had lots of arms and eyes....
End Quote
just like Pat Sajack..... ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/08/03 at 00:11 a.m.
upon seeing Malcolm, it ramed into him as hard as possible, "we gotta get out of this place," Indy said, and they all started out, but then Indy was ramed by the creture. This was a job for Union Jack. Union ran into the beast, and it collapsed. Everyone ran through the door, Billy stood in the door way waiting for MAlcolm, Indy, and Union who were still inside, "come! Before its too late!" He yelled. Malcolm got up and started towards teh door, but the creture threw him through the window. Indy then nailed the creture in the back of the head. Indy was then thrown into Billy and the both fell through the door. "Union!" Billy yelled. the creature approached Union. "LEave me!" Union yelled. Billy knodded solumnly and started away.
Union was thrown into the kitchen, and he grabbed the gas pipe and took out a lighter. "Here we go," he said, then he paused.
"Wheres Union?" Merry asked, "hes still inside," Billy answered. Then, out of nowhere, Union came flying. The house then exploded. The group then went out for sodas.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/08/03 at 00:12 a.m.
You know, somebody needs to email this link to Malcolm - it is too bad he is missing out... ::)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Peregrin on 06/08/03 at 00:14 a.m.
Mighty crap ! Mike's off ! :o :D
(On what I have no idea) ;D ;D ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/08/03 at 00:18 a.m.
The Queen would be so proud! She would think she had found a brother! :)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/08/03 at 00:19 a.m.
before the sodas....Billy stood there unhappy..because now his house had exploded, and his plan to find out the true gender of the hobbits had been ruined....Malcolm was pretty mad too.......it was then me and Malcolm decided that the only way to find out the true gender of the hobbits is to send Royce into the steam room with them just like in that episode of Seinfeld lol
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/08/03 at 00:20 a.m.
Union was once again left out and drew pictures of clocks again...Indy joined him this time...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/08/03 at 00:26 a.m.
Those clocks weren't dripping over tree branches, were they? A la Dali?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/08/03 at 01:06 a.m.
Quoting:
Those clocks weren't dripping over tree branches, were they? A la Dali?
End Quote
lol...not just yet...its teh beginning of Union's career as an artist...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/08/03 at 01:11 a.m.
And now, Meriadoc and Peregrin are going to bed! (Separately, unfortunately! ::) ) Goodnight sweet oreos... :P
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/08/03 at 01:19 a.m.
good night ma...ah, la...ah people! ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: karen (Guest) on 06/08/03 at 05:42 p.m.
Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting instalment.
Will Billy's house ever be rebuilt?
Will we ever find out who stole the oreos?
Did the explosion really kill the paraflugiaglaxic?
All this and less tomorrow
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/08/03 at 05:45 p.m.
Perhaps if the Florios paid more attention to the hobbits' posting styles they would be able to figure out the hobbits' gender and identity once and for all ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Indy Gent on 06/08/03 at 06:32 p.m.
But, alas, the Florios were thinking with a body part other than their brains, so they still couldn't figure it out because they were stuck inside a glass partition. As for Rice Cube, he was still pining for Queen AmenRa and the Mystic to return.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/08/03 at 10:28 p.m.
Rice Cube had miracleously survived the crash of the Anteater, only to be tragically suffering from Amnesial Grandularic Delusions (the dreaded AGD symdrome), which caused him to be under the impression that he had somehow solved a great mystery all on his own... ::) And sadly for him, the Intergalactic Bank had other, bigger, meaner paraflugiaglax bill collectors and the Federated IG Bank was now suing him for 3 times the amount of the bad electrotoggle check.
After the explosion, Mikey was discovered by a wandering Salvidore Dali impersonator, who handed him a scholarship to a prestigeous artschool (provided of course, that he could properly render a suitable likeness of a mouse wearing a hat from the inside cover of the matchbook his Daliness was carrying).
Billy decided to join the hobbits in their never-ending search for kinky sex, and Indy tagged along with his journal, so that he could accurately report each incident... And so off to Toronto they journeyed.... :P
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/09/03 at 07:20 p.m.
Wow, Merry, you sure do like to hurt Rice cube... ;)
Well Union, actually Mikey now again, attended this school, and found out from his teacher that the key to happiness lies in the highest place possible...so then he passed around teh spray paint. Mikey took this literally and decided he was gonna climb Mt Everest. He bought his supplies from a sports store and decided to start up tomarow...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/09/03 at 07:44 p.m.
It was at this point that Rice Cube realized that the hobbits had mistaken the reject crack cocaine stash for the pipeweed, which would explain Merry's psychedelic fantasies of Rice Cube's untimely demise ;)
Meanwhile, Rice Cube decided that Rice Cube should probably not talk of himself in the third person ::)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Indy Gent on 06/09/03 at 08:21 p.m.
With Rice Cube out of the picture, the hobbits took Malcolm and Royce and wrapped them together with cellophane after a anchovy crusted pizza fling. Royce's husband was watching the LBT on the telly. Just then, his jaws dropped and he starting to shake. "Oh no! That bowling ball! It's my wife!! And best friend!!" :o
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/09/03 at 08:46 p.m.
"Not at all" Merry told Mikey. "You know that old saying - 'you only hurt the ones you love...'" And that would require at least a pair of handcuffs which I seem to be lacking at this moment as they were left behind in the honeymoon suite during the flight from the wayward electotoggle and the wrath of the Queen.
And Rice should know (being in the know as he is) that Pippin never touches pipeweed.... ;) Merry on the other hand, might not be adverse to a toke from time to time.... :P
And alas, it seems to be Indy who has cruelly banished Rice this time from the frolicking foursome fun. It would appear that our excellent journalist is taking good notes (and possibly videos and other photographic anomalies...)
But where have you gone Billy Boy?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Indy Gent on 06/09/03 at 09:12 p.m.
As it turned out, Meridoc banished Rice because she has drempt of his demise. Indy was just a fall guy for the cunning hobbits. Rice Cube did bowl a 300 with the Malcolm-Royce bowling ball, to the horror of the Florios.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/09/03 at 09:29 p.m.
everyone then realized that their entire life was based around sex or finding out the sex of Merr-Pippen...
then Mikey realized that he's the only one who realized that, and, once again feeling left out, he started to draw clocks, but then found his oreos under the table...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/09/03 at 09:31 p.m.
Billy was under the impression we were going to Toronto.......but then, he though, why on earth would he want to go to Toronto..especially without a sergical mask? ...so, the trip to toronto was called off (and Merry and Pippin were sad)
anyway, so the trip in search of kinky sex turned to the city of fountains instead...to Rome we go.....
Michael on the other hand, was denied a plane ticket, because there is an age limit in Rome
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/09/03 at 09:35 p.m.
but then he got in by sneaking into a violin case...he didnt have to pay either :P
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/09/03 at 11:45 p.m.
(Terribly sorry old chap, but my fellow thread posters keep insisting I must kill you.... Or is the voices in my head.... ::) )
As Rice hit the 300, applause erupted from all sides. Bowing, the Fearless Cubed One again picked up the Maloyce ball to show his continued prowess in the next round of the 48 hour bowling tournament. But then disaster struck! As he released the ball, the trapped spirits of Mal and Royce clamped shut on his fingers and he was catapulted down the lane towards the pins. Hitting them head first, the erstwhile Anteater Captain was knocked unconscious. Before the stunned crowd could react, the deadly pin setting machine with it's razor sharp edges began to descend...
Meanwhile, on the plane to Rome, Meriadoc sipped some fine chablis while Pippin and Billy discussed the Mile High Club in hushed tones. Indy, having the audacity to refer to Merry as 'she' was banished to the luggage compartment for his ever so obvious error. The charming and precocious Mikey then took over the laborious note taking process, insuring that they woold ale bee unredabul wen vued lader... ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/10/03 at 08:41 a.m.
Alright, I see how it is...
Seeing as Rice Cube was protected by the aura of the Green Lantern power ring (which is now empowered against yellow, so don't even go there), the razor-sharp pin-resetter was repelled and dismantled by the green energies and the Cube's latent willpower.
It would seem that Indy had revealed a secret that, if the Oreos were observant enough, would open a rather large can of worms ;D
As for Billy, his mouth dropped open and his tongue flapped out "Mask"-style as his stewardess, Avril Lavigne, spread his legs and cradled his chin in her hands in preparation for the lap dance of his life....
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/10/03 at 10:17 a.m.
Quoting:
It would seem that Indy had revealed a secret that, if the Oreos were observant enough, would open a rather large can of worms ;D
End Quote
I think Billy is much more observant than you think..he did notice this, but let it pass because Indygent had had way too much wine
Quoting:
As for Billy, his mouth dropped open and his tongue flapped out "Mask"-style as his stewardess, Avril Lavigne, spread his legs and cradled his chin in her hands in preparation for the lap dance of his life....
End Quote
Billy was very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very happy! ;D
He then started discussing the mile-high club with Avril, and then disapeared to the bathroom with her.... "this made the trip all worth it" Billy said in his head
meanwhile, Merry looked at the journel Michael was taking Indygents notes in, and found it was now filled with drawings of clocks lol
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/10/03 at 10:20 a.m.
And as Billy and Avril shook in the throes of passion inside the aircraft's not-so-roomy lavatory, the whole plane rocked back and forth, creating a ripple in the space-time continuum...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/10/03 at 10:20 a.m.
my post is there, but why doesnt it show...hmmmmm
edited: ok, now its there..forget I said anything lol (about it not being there)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/10/03 at 10:31 a.m.
...and from the void of space came a younger Debbie Gibson! Poor Billy...what was he to do? Shall he choose one...or the other...or both?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/10/03 at 11:56 a.m.
Unfortunately, the void in the space time continuum caused the plane to become too unstable. Both wings snapped off and it began to plunge towards the ocean. Since the stewardess was still busy with Billy in the plane's lavatory, Merry, Pippin and Mikey had to locate their own life vests and remove their seat backs to be used as flotation devices all by themselves with no help. "Good thing we are sitting right next to the emergency exit" murmered Merry. Draining the last of his chablis, Merry looked out of the window and saw that there was a small island not far from where the plane was going to hit the waves. Handing Billy's lifejacket and seat cushion to Mikey, Meriadoc pushed him in the direction of the plane's still quivering lavatory. "Hurry, there is not much time." Merry slipped the notepad with the drawings of clocks and the mis-spelled notes into a small plastic airsickeness bag to protect it from the wet and slid it into Pippin's front pocket, which cause Pippin to raise his eyebrows meaningfully. "Later!" snapped Merry, "We have a whole island by the looks of things..."
But poor Indy was still trapped in the luggage hold! Seeing Mikey returning from the rear of the plane with Billy and the dazed Avril in tow, Merry had a brilliant idea. Snatching the notepad back out of Pippin's front pocket (which caused him to again raise his eyebrows), Merry thrust it at Mikey and directed: "Desinnez moi un mouton.. er... un escalier!" Mikey, being a clever sort, immediately comprehended the situation and doodled a small but elaborate staircase which then became corporeal and settled nicely into the plane's bottom. A panicked Indy emerged from the darkness. Snatching the one remaining life vest that Rice, Avril and Debbie were all fighting over ("How did Rice end up on the plane anyway?" mused Merry), Merry thrust it over Indy's head and the fivesome pulled open the emergency exit and jumped into the blue ocean....
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/10/03 at 12:01 a.m.
While Rice pondered why Merry would want Mike to draw a sheep of all things, he decided that fighting over the life vest was not worth it and instead had the two pop stars wrap their legs and arms around his body as his magic green energies swooped them to the island below.
Rice then created a large green yacht, as that was his favorite color (color schemes be damned!) and whisked the two ladies onto the deck and on into the sunset...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/10/03 at 12:02 a.m.
Oh yeah, and Rice promises to send help ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Banasy on 06/10/03 at 12:09 a.m.
Hmmm.....more like Rice needs help! ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/10/03 at 05:18 p.m.
hmmmmm....Merry, you put the notepad into HIS pocket.....hmmmmm
As Billy jumped with the others, he yelled "wait, Avril, come back!"......"I never got her phone number!...dang'it!"
Pippin then hit Billy and told him to never use the word "Dang'it" again.........
meanwhile, the 5 of them landed on the island just in time to see the plane crash into the water......
"well" Michael said, "I guess well need to organize some way to survive"....Indygent looked around and found a conch laying on the ground.."ok, this is what well do, who ever has the conch can speak"..."That might work" Merry said..."thats if William Golding doesnt sue us!".......we then determined that Indygent would not get the conch again lol
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/10/03 at 05:33 p.m.
you know what the funny thing is...Avril was a stewardess who gave lap dances here......in about 10 years thats exactly where she WILL be lol
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Indy Gent on 06/10/03 at 05:52 p.m.
Indy said, "Who needs a conch when I have this bevy of beautiful naked girls?" The obviously jealous Billy pushed Avril from a nearby cliff and started to run toward Indy's entourage. Meridoc and Perigrin tried to pull Billy by the arm, but his mind was too cluttered. Meanwhile, Rice Cube and Banasy were eating a mutton dinner.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Grendle on 06/10/03 at 06:19 p.m.
Ummmm..... I am confused! Can anybody answer the following:
1. If the fivesome jumped over the ocean, armed with only seat backs and life perservers, how did they land safely on an island?
2. How did Rice and Avril end up on the island if they were sailing away on a yacht?
3. Where did Indy find a bevy of naked girls when everyone has been addressed as "he"?
4. How did they cook the mutton so fast?
There seem to be some serious plot deficiencies here! :o
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Indy Gent on 06/10/03 at 06:27 p.m.
Don't take it so seriously. We want to have as many continuity errors as we can. That's the beauty of the story threads.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Grendle on 06/10/03 at 06:39 p.m.
Oh okay. I just hope none of you are screen writers or anything! You'd starve to death... ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/10/03 at 06:47 p.m.
Quoting:
Ummmm..... I am confused! Can anybody answer the following:
1. If the fivesome jumped over the ocean, armed with only seat backs and life perservers, how did they land safely on an island?
End Quote
The life preservers were actually Gadget-coats which expanded and allowed the peeps to float safely to the island. The seat backs turned into surfboards :)
Quoting:
2. How did Rice and Avril end up on the island if they were sailing away on a yacht?End Quote
Billy paid Rice an undisclosed sum of money so he could continue to have his way with Avril in what was left of the aircraft's lavatory ::) And you know how much Rice loves the green ;D
Quoting:
3. Where did Indy find a bevy of naked girls when everyone has been addressed as "he"?End Quote
After drinking multiple Jagermeister shots, Indy was suffering from really BAD beer goggle syndrome.
Quoting:
4. How did they cook the mutton so fast?End Quote
Rice Cube used his power ring to make a Lean Mean Grilling Machine, but even leaner and meaner than ol' George's ;)
Quoting:
There seem to be some serious plot deficiencies here! :o
End Quote
Makes it more fun ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/10/03 at 07:08 p.m.
"Theres no food!" Mikey said returning from the search with Indy. "Dangit!" Billy said, and Indy punched him in the face. "Now what are we supposed to do?" Merry questioned, Mikey thought, then came up with an answer, "Ill draw some food!" He said, "I dont want food made from grafite!" Pippen answered suddenly. "Ill use a pen then!" Mikey answered, Pippen knodded.
Meanwhile, Rice Cube wondered off into the jungle. To die. In the rain. Alone.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/10/03 at 07:10 p.m.
Quoting:
Oh okay. I just hope none of you are screen writers or anything! You'd starve to death... ;)
End Quote
well, actully, part of my current freelance comedy writing involves me writing movie scripts....lol, but dont worry, they make sense..and green lantern is no where to be found lol........(and Im only freelance again till september)
anyway, im not starving to death...yet..I do have another job lol
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/10/03 at 07:11 p.m.
Hmmm...Rice Cube, being adverse to dying, decided he'd rather steal Avril back for a couple hours instead... ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/10/03 at 07:13 p.m.
Quoting:
The life preservers were actually Gadget-coats which expanded and allowed the peeps to float safely to the island. The seat backs turned into surfboards :)
Billy paid Rice an undisclosed sum of money so he could continue to have his way with Avril in what was left of the aircraft's lavatory ::) And you know how much Rice loves the green ;D
After drinking multiple Jagermeister shots, Indy was suffering from really BAD beer goggle syndrome.
Rice Cube used his power ring to make a Lean Mean Grilling Machine, but even leaner and meaner than ol' George's ;)
Makes it more fun ;D
End Quote
all the secrets are revealed now..its like the E! true hollywood story..or behind the music
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/10/03 at 07:16 p.m.
Quoting:
Meanwhile, Rice Cube wondered off into the jungle. To die. In the rain. Alone.
End Quote
just like Ernest Hemingway.....
anyway, Rice didnt die, he actully though of something...in the plane there is food, but we need some way to get to the food...we need someone wo could swim and get it.......we all thought and the least needed person was sent to get the food....sorry Debbie Gibson, but I cant stand your music......
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/10/03 at 07:20 p.m.
Merry then turned to Pippin and said "you know what would be fun...since Indygent is so drunk and thinks that there are many many naked women around him...we should pretend to be these women and then have our way with Indy"....Pippin turned to Merry and said "I like that idea, but we have to first eat some of this delicious mutton that Rice had cooked"..it was then that Merry realized that Pippin had had too much wine as well
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Peregrin on 06/10/03 at 08:22 p.m.
Pippin spoke at last and stated :
"Ye who drinketh the last of the wine shall be therefore entitled to have seconds with Avril, as she has tired of the Florios, and is not inclinedeth towards anteaters".
At this point Rice screamed and his outburst caused him to rend his garment.
IndyGent said "Have no fear, I bet you didn't know I am also a seamstress?"
Everyone stopped and stared.....
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/10/03 at 08:26 p.m.
Little did the hobbit know that Rice had the power to render himself temporarily helmetesque ;) But only temporarily!
Still, 'tis quite a wild ride ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Peregrin on 06/10/03 at 08:35 p.m.
Malcolm Higgins (where did he come from) piped and said "I'd like to see that" :o
Then everyone stared at him instead ! :P
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/10/03 at 09:06 p.m.
hey, I never got to do anything with Avril!
Anyway, Mikey and a drunk Indy came up with a plan to remove the pants of both Merry and Pippen, so that the answer could be known for all, but when Mikey told Indy to go on as planned, he ran towards the ocean, and yelled as loud as possible, "I am not a Vegitarian!!!!" Everyone just stared as Indy ran off into the night.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/10/03 at 10:23 p.m.
Merry looked about at the chaos and realized that of all the basic human (or hobbit) drives, only one of the five was bound to solve itself... The others needed attended to.
Picking up the conch, he blew a plaintive shivery note, and immediately the other members of the party lapsed into a hypnotic trance. Merry began to give orders.
"Billy! Collect some grass and bamboo and begin making us some huts!"
"Indy! Scout around the island for a source of fresh water and any edible fruits and berries."
"Avril! Take Rice into the woods and keep him occupied!"
"Michael! Dessinez moi les menottes...."
Holding the conch securely, Merry lead Pippin over to a quiet spot under a palm tree, where the quarter bottle of Chablis rested forgotten. And they snuggled down together to watch the work progress....
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/10/03 at 11:08 p.m.
As the hobbits settled down to "supervise" the others...they heard a distinctly female voice in the tree above them....
"Ooooo!!! Hobbits! Two of them! I've been sooo lonely here alone on this island. With no men. By myself.
And all this delicious food and wine.
"Come up to my treehouse you two handsome hobbits! The beds here are warm and comfortable," the scantily-clad lady said. "and I'm ever so lonely by myself."
Merry and Pippin were shocked. they thought they were finally alone, and free of the distractions of the sex-obsessed others.
"I am XenaKat...but you two may call me Kat. I loooove hobbits...and I promise I will not tell the others your secrets."
Merry said "well....we hadn't planned to..."
"Food? Did she say she had food?" Pippen asked..
"Oh yes....and I make a lovely sweet drink from kola nuts...and it won't intoxicate you or make you say or do anything stupid." XenaKat said..."and no headache or regrets the morning after."
"Hmmm. I must try this sweet drink." said Pippen. And with that the hobbit began climbing the palm tree.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/10/03 at 11:48 p.m.
Billy returned from getting the huts made "wow that went quick" Billy said.....he walked over to where Merry and Pippin were so lazily resting....."what the hell? are you guys/girls exempt?"........he then saw xena kat...who are you?"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/10/03 at 11:50 p.m.
"hey, where did Avril go?"......"and where's Rice?"........
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/11/03 at 00:02 a.m.
"Ah look!" Meriadoc said to Billy, pointing up the palm tree, while silmultaneously hooking his hand thru Pippin's belt and pulling him back down to the ground. "There is a lovely lady up there who has anot seen a man in years...."
Billy smiled, forgetting all about Avril and took a step toward the tree....
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/11/03 at 00:21 a.m.
"Ooh...a girl that hasnt seen a man in years"......Billy thought of so many dirty ways to end this thought, but decided that it wasnt appropiate.......lol, so he started to climb up the tree to learn more about this girl who hasnt seen a man in years........
man, its a jungle here
dang'it, I let a dirty joke through lol
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/11/03 at 00:23 a.m.
I must ask...what happened to Debbie Gibsons quest for the food on the plane?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Peregrin on 06/11/03 at 06:03 a.m.
Debbie Gibson was last seen being eaten by the flight crew, and very tasty she was too :o
Meanwhile Billy enjoyed his climb so much he shimmied straight past XenaKat, who was soon heard to exclaim "I've seen a lovely bunch of coconuts" :o :o
The Anteater and the Seamstress ambled underneath and tried to look inconspicuous as they stared upwards, shamelessly :-/
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/11/03 at 10:34 a.m.
Rice wondered when Avril switched careers from stewardess to seamstress, but took it in stride...
Meanwhile, Billy was scrounging for more Monopoly money to try to bribe Rice into getting another turn with Avril, and maybe even have Mike join in on the fun....
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Syncronos on 06/11/03 at 11:26 a.m.
;D
Out of the sky drops Syncronos!!
he gets up, looks around, and says, "I wonder where my buddy Rice Cube is...I want some egg rolls!"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/11/03 at 11:30 a.m.
"Egg rolls, you say? Let's see what Avril and I can cook up with our Lean Mean Green Grilling Machine ;D"
Magically, the LMGGM morphed into the Great Green Wok of Zen, which produced the finest egg rolls that Syncronos (or anybody else, for that matter) had ever tasted. So yummy was the egg roll, so aromatic the smell, that the peeps eagerly awaiting threatened to douse the flames of the Wok with their drool.
And in the end, everyone was satisfied, and Rice went back to making sweet sweet love to Avril while Billy and Mike sat back, jealous of Rice's Asian persuasion.
"Well, that's one way to work off this meal" said Avril between gasps for air...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/11/03 at 12:09 a.m.
"My my such a disappointment" said Xenakat. "It's no wonder I've sworn off "men" and switched to hobbits".
Having caused Billy and Mike to be hypnotised into watching Rice and Avril with her magic hypno-gourd, Xenakat jumped down from the tree to talk to the hobbits.
"Now whyever in the world would this hobbit be so eager to taste my magic elixir?" she said to Perigrin. "Patience is a virtue, O excitable one".
And with that she swept up Merry in a wild embrace. ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Syncronos on 06/11/03 at 12:14 a.m.
???
Sworn off men for hobbits?
I missed a whole bunch of meetings, didn't I?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/11/03 at 01:13 p.m.
Quoting:
???
Sworn off men for hobbits?
I missed a whole bunch of meetings, didn't I?
End Quote
Just to clarify, that's sworn off "men" as in human men....in favor of hobbits of any and all genders. ;) ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/11/03 at 02:37 p.m.
But Rice would not give up so quickly...though he was having much fun with Avril, he would also try his best to unleash the Green Lantern Surprise so that XenaKat would come back into his control...oh yes...the Kat shall purr tonight...
;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/11/03 at 07:44 p.m.
Union Jack had arrived since it was night fall...and so he was digging on the beach for treasure, oh yeah, and he was drunk...then Mikey walked up to Indy, "Give me back my costume!" He said, "no!" Indy answered, "theres treasure somewhere on this island!" "Ok, then why do you need to wear my costume while looking for it?" Mikey answered, Indy just looked up and peed his pants..."you want it back?" He asked, "you keep it!" Mikey said backing away.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/11/03 at 10:36 p.m.
Quoting:
Union Jack had arrived since it was night fall...and so he was digging on the beach for treasure, oh yeah, and he was drunk...then Mikey walked up to Indy, "Give me back my costume!" He said, "no!" Indy answered, "theres treasure somewhere on this island!" "Ok, then why do you need to wear my costume while looking for it?" Mikey answered, Indy just looked up and peed his pants..."you want it back?" He asked, "you keep it!" Mikey said backing away.
End Quote
Why is it all parody writers have this thing about pee...? ::)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/11/03 at 10:41 p.m.
now what makes everyone think Im gonna give up on XenaKat that easily? Billy gonna make Kat come back to the humans....Billy's lovins gonna make Kat switch leagues.......
anyway, Billy was walking the beach when he found washed up on the shore, a Monopoly game......"yes, Now I can get Avril back!"......he then went to Rice cubes hut (which had a sign on it that said: "the RIce shack, we deliver free of charge" ;) )....he barged in and walked into the back where Rice was making sweet love to Avril while Syncronos watched.....Billy knocked the binoculars out of syncronos's hands and walked past the curtain and handed Rice 2 $500 bills......Rice turned and said "where'd you get all this money?" and I said "I found it somewhere on Baltic Avenue"......this caused Billy, Rice and Syncronos to get into a huge poker game.....
Rice was dealt a 5 of hearts, and 2 of hearts, a 10 of diamonds a 7 of hearts and a queen of spades.....he traded in his 10, 7, and queen and got a 3 of spades, 4 of clubns and a 6 of diamonds......Rice was extremly happy..he knew he had Billy and Syncronos on this hand......he put all of his money in the pile thinking that he cant lose...Billy then unexpectedly, matched him, and then added some....did Billy have something? Rice, not having any more money, thought...he knew he couldnt lose with this hand...he had a great hand, and Syncronos was already out, and Billysa got to have nothing, so he put the deed to Avril in the pile.......
Rice showed his hands...a straight! then Billy smiled and showed his......"4 Kings baby!"
Rice sunk in his chair......he not only lost all his money, but he also lost Avril....now Billy owns her.. "well, Rice, you can pay me money and you can rent her for some time if you like" Billy said......Rice was angry..."its a good thing I didnt lose my ring" he said "cause then Id have to beat you up"......Billy then said "but I would hav the ring" "yeah so?".."well, would I win then?".....Rice didnt think of that, and sunk back into his seat.....he decided that his best bet was to find Kat and pretend to be a hobbit
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/11/03 at 11:44 p.m.
XenaKat had heard Rice's boasting about her. And was amused.
But as Billy distracted Rice just then with some silly bits of paper...XenaKat realized if she was ever going to have the hobbits under her power she'd have to act fast.
Quickly using her magic hypno-gourd she zapped Peregrin. "You will obey my commands" she said.
"I....will...obey..." the hobbit droned.
"Keep Rice and Billy busy till I get away. I want no interruptions."
"Yes....I obey" said Peregrin...and the hypnotised hobbit wandered off in search of the men.
Merry tried to get away from XenaKat but it was no use....caught by the spores from the hypno-gourd, Meriadoc was in XenaKat's power.
"Now my handsome hobbit...you are going to help build me a trap for that Green Monster....look at Avril will he?" XenaKat fumed.
"And people wonder why I prefer hobbits." and with that she took Meriadoc deeper into the woods to build a trap for Rice Cube.
But little did Meriadoc suspect what was REALLY going to happen.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/12/03 at 09:26 a.m.
Rice Cube was livid. He had lost his women to a poker game and a hobbit. Whatever to do?
But lo! He still has...the power ring! Rice grinned mischievously and started formulating evil plots in his mind to re-seduce the women...oh yes, they will be his!
Before he did any of that, though, Rice decided to turn Merry into a woman (;)) and watch some good ol' all-American girl-on-girl action ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/12/03 at 11:38 a.m.
But Rice could not locate Kat and Merry, who were deep within the forest....
Pippin, under Kat's spell, continued to follow Rice around, attempting to distract him by singing "I Studied a Fluke" over and over in his best BeeGees falsetto.
Meanwhile, Kat had lead Merry deeper into the woods. Finally she stopped and turned to him with a gleam in her eye.
"I bet you are wondering why I really brought you here..."
The hobbit thought quickly. "We will need these, then!" he exclaimed, and with a flourish he pulled from his pocketses the handcuffs that Mikey had drawn for him.
"Mmmmm!" said the Xena, "I love kinky sex!"
Merry quickly handcuffed the compliant Xena to a small palm tree, and relived her of the magic hypno-gourd.
Pocketing the gourd, and setting the time-elapsed auto release on the handcuff for four hours away, he quickly hurried back thru the woods towards the beach, wondering gravely what had been done to Pippin...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/12/03 at 11:40 a.m.
On the way back to the beach, Merry used the hpho-gourd to create a 'bumping spell' so his post would actually appear on the next page... ::)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/12/03 at 12:03 a.m.
Using his mighty power ring, Rice Cube flew into the air and detected poor Kat, handcuffed to the tree while still so hot and bothered with no one to pleasure her. With the tractor beam, he sucked up Avril into his arms and had her wrapped around his waist, and simultaneously directed a bolt towards the handcuffs so that Kat could be freed.
The grateful XenaKat wrapped her arms around the bold rescuer (that would be Rice) and also wrapped her legs around Rice, peppering him with kisses of joy and appreciation.
Then Rice Cube took the two ladies and headed off to another part of the island...with a view...and, quite conveniently, a king-sized waterbed.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/12/03 at 04:49 p.m.
Unfortunately, waterbeds make XenaKat seasick.
The very second Rice released her, she picked up a nearby rock, and belted Avril on the head. As she passed out from the blow, Rice bent to catch her. Distracted, Rice did not notice XenaKat slipping his power ring off his finger.
Plucking a nearby purple flower, XenaKat tucked it into the neckline of Rice's T-shirt. This was the famous Flower of Morpheus...the favorite food of the Island Sleep Monkey's who lived nearby. Kat then began singing the Sleep Monkey's mating call....
"INSOMNIA....INSOMNIA....CANTSLEEPCANTSLEEPCANTSLEEP INSOMNIA!!!!!!!!"
As the Sleep Monkeys decended upon the very suprised Rice and Avril, Xenakat dashed off into the jungle, escaping the effects of Sleep Monkey fur.
"Now," XenaKat said...."to get back to those loveley hobbitses. I wonder why the pretty one didn't want to be friends?" she mused. "Maybe his friend can tell me..."
And with that, XenaKat summoned the Pretty Pony of Warriordom, and rode off towards the place she last saw Peregrin.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/12/03 at 05:28 p.m.
But once more, Kat did not realize that Rice Cube was more powerful than she could imagine...you see, Rice Cube had tweaked the power ring so that it would always return to him, and it could not be used by anyone but him...and of course, it was no longer powerless against yellow, which is good, for Rice Cube is Asian (::))
And so Rice Cube was in fact protected by a remote aura... and Kat's spells had no effect on him. He waited till the Kat had gone before reviving Avril with his latent powers and stalking after the sultry Kat once more...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/12/03 at 05:46 p.m.
Riding towards the clearing where the hobbitses were last seen, Kat came to realize that the power ring she took from Rice Cube could be dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands. She had to get rid of it.
Riding the Pretty Pony of Warriordom to the nearest tall hill, XenaKat began singing the Summoning Song of Ares, Father of All Amazons.
"Ares hear me...take this Ring of Power from me....Ares, Warrior Supreme take away this talisman of evil....Ares, send thy servant to aid thy favorite daughter."
"I am here daughter.....explain about this Ring of Power!"
Quickly, XenaKat told the Father of Amazons about Rice Cube using the ring to mess with people's minds. She asked him to destroy the ring.
"That I cannot do, favored one. For the ring is tied to the man's life force and protects him from harm. To destroy it is to destroy him."
"And that's a BAD THING, right? Ok....Then, O Great One....can you hide it?" XenaKat pleaded.
"Yes, Beautiful One....that I will do...and gladly."
Dropping to her knees, XenaKat thanked Ares for his kind assistance. She promised to always answer his call.
Remounting the Pretty Pony of Warriordom...XenaKat heard as she headed for the main clearing......
"...And good luck with those tricksy hobbitses....
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/12/03 at 05:55 p.m.
meanwhile, Billy walked into his hut (which was named "the Oreo shack") carrying some flowers for Avril.."Oh Avril, Ive brought you flowers" he yelled, but no one answered..."where has Avril gone?"...Billy then looked all around, but couldnt find her...he looked in his bed and saw something..there, lying in his bed was a box of Pork-fried Rice! "Rice, that fiend! He stole Avril back!"....Billy was furious....."Thats it, now Im gonna show that Cube what its like to be mad!"...Billy walked out to Syncronos's office (aka the latrine ;D ) and knocked ont he door (sorry Syncronos, but you came so late I couldnt build you a hut)...anyway, Syncronos yelled back "someones in here" ..."No sync, its me Billy, I need you to help me beat up Rice".."why?" he asked... "because, he took Avril back even after I won her from him fair and square"...."Thats it" Sync said exiting the latrine...."Thats the last time Im gonna let that Green lantern wannabe push me around...I will not stand for it anymore...I will not play the part of Robin!"
a few seconds pasted as Sync stood in his couragous position of pointing to the sky in that very profound look...billy then said "Sync, what the hell are you talking about?"...Sync paused and finally answered..."I dont know, but Im sure it has something to do with me being the second banana to green latern"..."I tdont think Green lantern had a sicdekick" Billy answered, "wasnt Robin his side kick?"..."no, that was Batmans"...."then who was Nightwing?"...."that was Robin all grown up".."robin Grew up?".....
this conversation went on for some time until they finally agreed that thinking you are the green lantern is pretty gay, and Rice must be keeping on stealing Avril back because he thinks that the only way that to secure his masculinity...and to surpress his attration for Indygent...."weve got that ring bearer now!" Billy responded....."he will no longer be the LOrd of the rings! hahahahaha"...Syncronos then looked at Billy in a stupid way and asked "are you gonna be saying this this whole time? caus eif you are, Im not helping you defeat Rice"....Billy looked down "sorry, I couldnt control myself"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Peregrin on 06/13/03 at 04:02 a.m.
Quoting:
Dropping to her knees, XenaKat thanked Ares for his kind assistance. She promised to always answer his call....
End Quote
Unless Pippin was mis-reading this, it seemed that Ares may be the only one on the island getting any :o :o :o
Pippin thinks Ares may be calling upon XenaKat often ;D
By the time Merry found Pippin, he was in the company of IndyGent and the Florios, whose ears were now bleeding as Pippin had launched into his rendition of Macarthur Park, singing each alternate verse with accurate renditions of the dulcid tones of Telly Savalas and Minnie Riperton... :-/
Oh my god, what have they done to you, Merry complained, and flashed indy and the Florio boys a hobbit death-stare...
Merry took Pippin by the hand and led Pippin away, but Merry noticed in passing that even the by now long-dead Avril's ears were bleeding from Pippin's vocal onslaught.
Come with me, Pip. I have thought of a neat trick we can play on the others with the conch :P :P
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/13/03 at 07:45 a.m.
And everyone was rendered speechless.
Especially Kat! ;D
And they stared and they stared...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/13/03 at 11:27 a.m.
When Kat left Ares, the war god hitched up his pants and looked at the power ring sitting in the palm of his hand. As she flew away on the Pretty Pony of Warriordom, far, far away, Ares dipped behind a tree and started to emanate green waves of energy. As the energies encircled his body, he changed into Rice Cube, Green Lantern of Sector 2814!
For it was a ruse...Rice Cube had been in control of the power ring all this time, and no matter what Kat would conjure up she could never take it away from him...but now he realized that the only way to truly satisfy the warrior queen was to deliver what she wanted most...that nefarious hobbit, Pippin. How to do this, Rice wondered? Though the hobbits had shown a certain level of magik, Rice knew that it was a ruse, a guise, for hobbits had no natural magical powers. So Rice had to search for the source. Using his powers to generate a hobbit-tracking radar and a detector of magical frequencies, Rice was able to locate the hobbit gemstone of funkycrazymagik off the shores of Papua New Guinea. He then constructed a shield of blarneystone to deflect the power source, so now the hobbits were magicless.
Before dealing with the hobbits, however, Rice decided it would be fun to give Billy an atomic wedgie, and sent Syncronos some Galactic Republic credits to pay for his hernia surgery and for not kicking his butt ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/13/03 at 06:57 p.m.
Quoting:
Before dealing with the hobbits, however, Rice decided it would be fun to give Billy an atomic wedgie, and sent Syncronos some Galactic Republic credits to pay for his hernia surgery and for not kicking his butt ;D
End Quote
HAHAHA Im one step ahead of you Rice...Im not wearing any underware! hahahahahaha.... (Im sorry, but who would wear underware on a trip for kinky sex?)
anyway........Rice tryed to grab Billys underware (he thought he was wearing underware), but ended up grabing nothing...Billy finally noticed this and turned around to see Rice with his hand down Billy's pants.....Billy stood there and stared at him for some time and finally said "Um Rice......this isnt helping your masculinity" lol......Rice slowly retracted his hand and ran back to the Rice shack
;D ;D ;D
Oh Rice, you know Im joking lol
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/13/03 at 07:06 p.m.
Of course, Billy didn't take into account the "chafe factor"...for, without any cotton to protect his tools, they did get massively chafed by the rough material of his ghetto island-hopping jeans ;D
Thank goodness Rice had used gloves too...time for Billy to take a shower and clean his *censored*
;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/13/03 at 07:19 p.m.
Quoting:
Of course, Billy didn't take into account the "chafe factor"...for, without any cotton to protect his tools, they did get massively chafed by the rough material of his ghetto island-hopping jeans ;D
Thank goodness Rice had used gloves too...time for Billy to take a shower and clean his *censored*
;D
End Quote
touche ..... ;)
Billy went and took the suggeestion of Pacholek from earlier in the week and jumped in a lake lol
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/13/03 at 07:23 p.m.
Meriadoc had of course been videotaping all of this groping with keen interest... :P
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/13/03 at 09:49 p.m.
XenaKat slowly stirred, gingerly touching the bump on her head. The Pretty Pony of Warriordom was quietly cropping grass nearby, seemingly none the worse after having been frightened by flying Rice Cubes.
"That does it" XenaKat cried. "Rice Cube has got to go. First spooking my Pony, making me fall...then giving me those horrid hallucinations. After all...Ares does not speak English at all, he speaks Tongan. And green pants? Ickkchh. Anyone who's anyone knows Ares wouldn't be caught dead wearing anything green."
Once again mounting the Pretty Pony of Warriordom, which everyone knows cannot fly (but can swim very well), XenaKat once again rode off in search of the hobbits.
XenaKat hoped that once she got one or both of the hobbits alone, she could finally tell them of her plan to destroy the Rice Cube's power ring, once and for all. Especially since it had recently been revealed to Kat by the real Ares that the power ring, no longer vulnerable to the color yellow had developed a dangerous weakness to the sound of hobbits singing.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/14/03 at 00:48 a.m.
Quoting:
had developed a dangerous weakness to the sound of hobbits singing.End Quote
especially Hobbits singing renditions of Macarture park ;-)
anyway......Billy emerged from the lake all clean now........
"man, I wish that the hobbits would write some more of this story becaUSE IT has become less and less interesting".......Billy sat down on the beach and though of Avril...."egh...Ill just sit here until Merry or Pippin writes something" ;) ::)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/14/03 at 00:49 a.m.
egh...Ill also sit here and wait for this post to start off the next page
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Peregrin on 06/14/03 at 05:35 a.m.
Intrigued by the latest revelation, Merry & Pippin blew a tune on the conch (the sax solo from Baker Street) and XenaKat was morphed from her aimless wanderings in the jungle to the hobbit lair of the fabled two.
"Approach" said Meridoc sternly, as it's hobbit hand stroked through Pippin's hair. "Reveal to us your secrets, your plans to defeat the evil RiceCube, and ye shall be handsomely rewarded".....
"But cross a hobbit and be banished to the servitude of Malcolm Higgins for evermore" :-/
In a more concilatory tone, Merry then said "Come now my dear, tell us everything you have learned about Rice's ring..." :-/ :-/ :-/ ::) ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/14/03 at 01:15 p.m.
Whatever Kat had learned about Rice's power ring would prove useless, for with each passing day (post?) Rice grew more dextrous and skilled with the ring and discovered a new power...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/14/03 at 04:35 p.m.
Merry absently fiddled with the conch (and Pippin's hair) as Kat told the hobbits all she had learned of Rice and the Ring of Power. Suddenly, Merry realized that another soft voice was eminating just below the timbre of Kat's tones. Putting the conch to his ear, he discoverd that it was attempting to warn them. The conch was channeling all of Rice's evil thoughts!
"That's it," Merry exclaimed, turning exaltantly to Pippin and Kat. "We must capture Rice and throw him into the fiery furnace of Mt. Doom!"
"Summon Indy, Billy and Michael at once! What the heck, call Debbie and Avril... And get Ares over here. We need a fellowship of nine...."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/14/03 at 07:46 p.m.
Meanwhile, in his hut, Michael was shaving with an electric razor made of palm...Xenacatt came to the door, "Michael, we need you to help defeat Rice," Michael looked at her cautously..."I'd make Union Jack do it, but Indy peed in my coustume," he explained...Xenacat spoke again, "we need you!" "Can Wilber come too?" Michael asked, Xena looked scared, and Michael picked up a volleyball wiht a face on it, and yelled again, "we're off!" And he charged out the door. On his way past, he passed Syncronos's once burning fire, so he dipped his fingers in the ash, and put two lines with his fingers under his eyes...he then proceded to do it to Wilber.
Meanwhile, Syncronos found a notebook on the ground. He picked it up to find some things written by Indy, and in the rest of the book there were drawings of clocks...he then sensed that it had been in Pippen's front pocket, and imediatly threw it down. He then saw Mikey steeling ash from his fire, and got pissed. Syncronos proceded to walk over there, but then saw another person falling from the sky...it was Watt Daddy, and he was dead...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/14/03 at 09:23 p.m.
After telling Michael of the need to assist in the capture of the evil Rice Cube, XenaKat went to the nearby Temple of Ares to pray for his divine help.
She entered the stone building boldly, for a warrior never sneaks or skulks. As she crossed the entryway, she tripped over something soft. It was Rice Cube.
She screamed a warrior's scream, and reaching for one of the many weapons on the wall, attacked Rice.
"No, Wait!!!" Rice said, "You don't understand.....I..."
But XenaKat would not listen to his vile lies. She chased him out of the Temple of Ares, leaving Rice with a nasty cut on his arm from her attacks.
She then entered the Inner Sanctum, and bowed before the stone-caved image of Ares before her. As she called out the sacred names of the mythological father of Warrior Women everywhere, the statue shimmered and became flesh.
"Listen carefully, my favorite daughter..." the god whispered in Tongan, as he placed his hand upon her hair.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/14/03 at 09:28 p.m.
Shaken, and shaking, XenaKat came out of the Temple of Ares and returned to the hobbits to tell them of the secret the god had told her.
"It's not Rice that's evil", she said to them. "It's the ring.......the ring. It has corrupted his mind....it was the ring's thoughts you heard, Merry.
Ares says we must get the ring...and destroy it in order to save that poor boy's innocent soul."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/14/03 at 10:30 p.m.
Meanwhile, Rice Cube was flying through the air on a leisurely patrol of the island, when he beheld an eerie sight...it was a doppelganger, except it appeared that he was badly damaged, as his arm was bleeding. Curious, he flew down for a closer look...
But then he saw a fellowship of creatures forming beneath, in a nearby temple, speaking of ways to defeat the Rice Cube and his evil ring. Rice then realized that when the hole in the space-time continuum was created, it allowed his evil counterpart from Dimension Zarkon 5 to leak into this world. It was then that Rice decided to lay back for a while and see what would transpire, though he pledged to uphold his Green Lantern ideals and protect the innocent...
On his next patrol, Rice noticed a decaying body that resembled Watt Daddy...a quick scan showed that this was not Watt Daddy, but a football dummy in the shape of Watt Daddy. This relieved Rice Cube, especially since Watt Daddy was having a party in his mansion in upstate New York at the time anyway...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/14/03 at 10:51 p.m.
Indy and Syncronos walked up to the body lying on the ground. "See" Syncronos said, Indy poked it with a stick, "hes dead!" Syncronos answered, Rice must've done it!" Indy then bent down to get a closer look at WAtt Daddy's dead body, "its foam!" He said, "I know Rice did it," Syn answered, "no, the dummy, its made out of foam!" Indy said louder, Syn just glanced down, "youre right!" He answered.
Merry and Pippen sat with their backs to a shurb, and suddenly a loud noise came from behind them, it was once a big stone statue of some kind. The hobbits both got up and glanced at it. Suddenly, the statue picked up its sward and attempted a swing at the hobbits, but it barely missed htem. Then it started again, but right before it did, it collapsed, to reveal Billy standing behind it with a gun. "I saved your lives!" He yelled, "now you have to reveal your sexes to me, once and for all!" Merry and Pippen just glanced at each other, and then both said one word, "no." The smile went away from Billy's face, "no?" He questioned, "no? I just saved your life, and now you wont even show me what Ive been longing to know!" Then another sound came from the side, everyone got close together, "what is that?" Pippen asked, "I think it may be Rice," Billy answered, the shadow grew closer, and closer, and closer, all the trio could do now was run, and so they did. They all then found themselves alone, in three different spots.
Xenacat was on her way back to her hut, when suddenly something rose over her, she screamed. The creature looked huge and made of stone. She froze where she was, and didnt move. The figure picked up its sword and began to swing. "Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!" Xena suddenly heard, as she saw Mikey and Wilber charging for the creature. The creture then swung its sword, hitting Wilber, popping him forever. Michael then jabbed his sword right into the cretures chest, and it disapeared. "You alright?" Mikey asked, "My hero!" Xena yelled, and she threw her arms around Mikey. "Wilber?" Mikey asked, there was no answer. Then he saw it, his friend, on the ground, flattened. Xena's expression went from realived to rolly-eyed, as Mikey bent down to look at his once friend. "He was too young!" Mikey said, "why did he have to go? Why wasnt it me?" "Im, eh, sorry?" Xena said, "its alright!" Mikey spoke standing up, "we've gotta stop thsi, and we've gotta stop thsi now! Where is Rice?"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/15/03 at 00:23 a.m.
Billy then wondered....where did I find this gun? I could use it to kill Rice for stealing Avril.......egh....Ill just use it to annoy Indygent.....
Billy then met up with Scooby the talking dog, Shaggy the pot smoking hippie, Velma the lesbian, Daphnie the hot chick, and the Fred, the muscular guy who wears that hankerchif thing around his neck and always hangs out with velma and daphnie, but has never tryed to make a move on either (not that it helps since Velma is a lesbo) but has said some suggestive things to Shaggy ....and Scobby!.........Billy jumped into their Van, which seems to always run ot of gas at the worst possible spots...this time of course it ran out of gas on this desert island.....they decided to put their noses where they dont belong and tried to solve the mystery of who killed Watt Daddy.......they invited along the Harlem Globetrotters and Phylis Diller to help them.......as they all looked around the dead body, they saw a ghost running around in the distance......scobby and shaggy tried to run away only to stay in the same spot for a few seconds running in air and then bump into another ghost....somehow, Phylis Diller and the Globetrotters otsmarted the ghosts and tried them up with rope that magically appeared.......Fred then very un-masculinly pulled off their masks to discover that under the masks were none other than MERRY AND PIPPIN....off course, Velma already knew this....."I dont beleive it, Merry and Pippin were running around as ghosts...but why?" Billy asked....Shaggy said "hey Scoob, it looks like we solved another one...lets go have a Scooby snack....it doens matter that its dogfood, I like it too"..."but we didnt solva anything..Merry and Pippin were just running around with sheets on theri heads...it doesnt solve who killed Watt" Billy said.....unfortunatly they didnt listen, and already had started having a giant orgy in the mystery van.....Fred for some reason would not stay away from Rice and the globetrotters and kept on talking about something called "rear entry".....the globetrotters kept on thinking this was some kind of new basket ball stratagy, where somebody goes around the back of the basket and shoots from the rear........Fred had a different thing in mind.......
meanwhile the local police took away Merry and pippin and charged them with first degree ghost impersonating..apparently this is a crime......Merry and Pippin were shocked that the police would listen to a bunch of Pot smoking hippies and homosexuals.........
meanwhile Billy and Daphnie disapeared somewhere ..more on this later......
by the morining, everyone was gone except for the scooby gang, and their van smelled like smoke..........Billy looked around and noticed Rice wearing Fred's neckerchef......
Eventully Billy woke up and realized that it was all a dream.....Scooby Doo was not on the island, and neither were the Globtrotters......it was all a dream.......Billy got up and started to walk around with his gun.....he noticed that there were dog prints in the sand, and van marks.....he also noticed that there was a basket ball laying around with a face painted on it in makeup that looked very much like Phylis Dillers...he also noticed an empty box of scooby snokes on the floor....Billy walked to the hut villiage and saw Rice....Rice was wearing a green neckerchef.......hmm Billy thought....."no, it couldnt have been real...it was all a dream...yeah, it has to have been all a dream..yeah".....Rice then approached Billy "hey look what Avril made for me!..a neckerchef!! Aint is just Super?".......Billy slowly backed away from RIce and turned around and ran to find Merry and Pippin.....
he of course, stayed in one spot for a few seconds, running in air, and then finally took off
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Grendle on 06/15/03 at 00:31 a.m.
I think we have now established that Mike and Billy are both taking the same drugs.... ::)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/15/03 at 00:42 a.m.
XenaKat listened to the Florio's explaination and slapped her forehead in frustration.
"Obviously we cannot count on the Florios to help us defeat the Evil Rice" she told the Hobbits. "They have been taking mind-altering drugs. You can see it in the way they keep insisting I am in love with one or both of them. Can't they see I am already engaged?"
And with that she showed the Hobbits her ring. It was pure silver, shaped like a sword wrapped around the third finger of her left hand. And in the hilt of the sword was a round piece of Amythest.
"My beloved knows how much I love purple things" she said. "But back to business....who else can we get to help us get the Evil Ring from Rice?"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/15/03 at 00:48 a.m.
"But," Merry explained to Kat "the voice of the mighty and wise Holy Roman Emperor spoke to me thru the conch and explained that Rice has kept the ring too long! It has enslaved his very soul and tunred him into a helpless ringwraith.... there is no hope for him now; he must be destroyed along with the ring of power..."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/15/03 at 07:05 p.m.
Little did Xena know, Mikey was listening to the whole conversation she was having with the hobbits, and then jumped up in outrage..."You cant trust me to kill someone?" He asked, everyone was speechless. "Ill kill Rice! And Ill kill Syn! And Ill kill Indy too! And after that, if you think I cant kill anybody, youre wrong!" "but we dont want you to kill Indy and Syn," Merry spoke, Mikey just looked back at them, "ok, then just Rice," he said in a calmer tone. The hobbits knodded. "Can, eh, Indy and Syn help?" Mikey asked again, "sure!" Pippen said. "Ok! Then Im off!" Mikey sprinted away, and then returned, "what about Billy? Can he help?" Merry knodded again, and Mikey went off..."What happoned to that volleyball he was carrying?" Merry asked, "it was killed," Xena answered. Merry knodded.
Meanwhile, at the hut of Syn and Indy, both Syn and Indy were drawing clocks because they were left out of the story...Syn showed Indy his clock, and Indy knodded and said, "good!" Then Mikey arrived. "I need you guys to help me defeat Rice!" He said, "can I wear your Union Jack uniform?" Indy asked, Mikey knodded. "I got it dry cleaned, so the pee stain is gone!" Indy said, "ok," Mikey answered.
The three men got all geared up and ready. "Now we need to get Billy!" "Billy?" Syn questioned, "Billy who?" "My brother, you moron!!" Mikey answered, "his name is Billy? I thought his name was Hadjii!*" "how do you confuse Billy and Hadjii?" Indy asked, "I dont know..." Syn answered, "well we're wasting precious time here, so lets go!" Mike said, and they left in search of Billy.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/15/03 at 10:39 p.m.
As a peace offering, Rice Cube airdropped a Mr. Spell to the Florio brothers.
Rice Cube also noticed that XenaKat had put on the purple engagement ring he had left under her pillow last night...it did look very good on her, he thought...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/15/03 at 10:40 p.m.
It seemed that at some point, Rice Cube would have to recruit Watt Daddy into this mess because people keep trying to kill him...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/15/03 at 10:55 p.m.
And so he did recruit Watt Daddy...and now its Mikey, Billy, Syncronos, and Indy vs Rice Cube and Watt Daddy...who will win? The war starts next time I post here...I dont know when that will be...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/15/03 at 11:16 p.m.
"That is such a lovely ring, Xenakat", said Merry. "Who gave it to you again? You never did say..."
"No I didn't say. But I assure you it was the most romantic proposal. He brought me a bouquet of lilacs and asked for my hand in the lovliest old-fashioned speech patterns. It went so well with his accent".
"But Xena.....Who is he!?" shouted Pippen, clearly exasperated. "After all...the ring is in the shape of a sword...such a one must be a warrior. Could he not help us destroy the Evil Rice Cube?"
"Merry, Pippen...I have sworn to Ares I would not say this warrior's name aloud. But I can tell you he will indeed help us against Rice. He is tall, dark, and as you suggested, Pippen a warrior. He has devoted his life to fighting Evil."
"Good" said Merry. "That's all we really need to know. Enough with the mush."
But there was one more thing XenaKat had to tell the hobbits. Her beloved lived under a curse, too....
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/15/03 at 11:28 p.m.
The four warriors walked in a line towards Rice's hut. Suddenly, from the sky, fell Bobo, Indy told him of the situation, and he agreed to help defeat Rice and Watt. Then the quintet approached Rice's hut from the outside. "Come out, Rice!" Mikey yelled, and so Rice walked out. When he saw their weapons, Rice put up his hands and stood still. "Any last words?" Billy asked, Rice smiled, "all-lon-gev inia-vada!" Indy shrugged his shoulders and charged up towards Rice with his sword when suddenly a gust of wind blew him back to behind the four others. "NOW!" Rice yelled, and so 5 stone warriors walked out of his hut. Indy stood up. "CHARGE!" Syncronos yelled, and the quntet began an all out battle with the warriors. By himself, Mikey took down the first one. Syncronos and Indy both got the seccond one down. "I got this one!" Bobo said, and he ran up to another one. "Be careful!" Billy yelld from next to him. And then the forth one threw Indy into the woods and Syncronos all the way to his hut. "Ahhhhh!" Billy yelled, as he jabbed his sword into the fifth one. "Got him!" Bobo yelled as he killed the third. and then the forth grabbed Billy and threw him far into the distance, and then it grabbed Bobo by the head and threw him back, and very high in the air. Mikey jabbed his sword into the beast, and it was gone. Rice started laughing. "Leva-neih-cad!" He said. Mikey ran up to him with his sword drawn, when suddenly, he heard his name being called, "Mikey! Mikey!" It was xena's voice. Rice had lit up a cigerette in his wait, and was smoking it. He spoke agian, "sha-ka-man ni-khol-banit-tad!" And 3 more warriors walked out of his hut. Mikey stood up tall and brave waiting. Xena ran up to him. "The ring," she said, "I think its alive!" "Lets get out of here!" Mikey said, and they both ran into the forest. Xena screamed, "what?" Mikey asked, she pointed to a body lying on the ground, it was Bobo's. He was dead. "The ring you gave me!" She spoke again, "I think its alive!"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/16/03 at 00:46 a.m.
While Merry waited for Xena to reveal the plight of her beloved, he mused over the fact the Mikey was killing off people right and left, many of whom were not even participating in the thread. Of course all this random damage never seemd to touch the Cubed One... ::)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/16/03 at 01:08 a.m.
Breaking away from the mayhem caused by Mikey, XenaKat once again found a quiet clearing in which she could gather her thoughts, and formulate a plan with the hobbits to stop the evil.
"Here's the ring Mikey gave me," she said. Holding out what looked like a cheap plastic decoder ring. "Careful, don't put it on," she warned. "It seems to be alive. It keeps spelling out R-E-D-R-U-M, whatever that means."
Unfortunately, this was the same ring XenaKat's beloved had casually slipped on to his own finger not a week before. Now there were dark blue markings all over his face, and inded his whole body. In shame, he kept his whole body wrapped in black robes to hide the heiroglyphs marring his perfect face. He could no longer allow the sun to touch him, lest he burst into flame and die. And shoul anyone say his name aloud he would die a thousand horrible deaths.
But the curse of the ring also gave him the ability to perform powerful magic. With this magic, Xena told the hobbits, they might be able to defeat the Evil one. After which, she hoped, they could find a cure for her warrior prince.
"But wait," Pippen said, "Doesn't this mean he can only be of help to us at night?"
"Yes," Xena said. "We must somehow stay alive until then....and Mikey isn't much help at the moment."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/16/03 at 08:53 a.m.
'twould seem all had mixed up the Good Rice and the Bad Rice. This will have to be fixed...
Rice Cube noted that XenaKat was describing his friend in the Amalgam Universe, Nightcrawler, who at the moment was suffering under some form of dark magic spell...would he now reveal himself to help the hobbits and XenaKat save this universe from the curse of Bad Rice and the evil ring of power? Will they be able to save the amazing Nightcrawler before the dark energies overwhelm him?
Will everyone give the Florios a sedative so they would stop trying to kill everyone and instead find a constructive solution to this crisis looming above us all? Will they ever use that Mr. Spell so graciously offered by Rice Cube?
Stay tuned...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/16/03 at 09:48 a.m.
Quoting:
Will everyone give the Florios a sedative so they would stop trying to kill everyone and instead find a constructive solution to this crisis looming above us all? Will they ever use that Mr. Spell so graciously offered by Rice Cube?
Stay tuned...
End Quote
now wait a minute...I havent killed anyone yet...not even you when you were wearing that Neckerchef ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/16/03 at 10:59 a.m.
Ah, but Billy DID try to beat up the all-powerful Rice Cube and insult his abilities, so for that, Rice created some really uncomfortable undies for Billy and had an illusory green gorilla give him the wedgie of his life. Rice sat in a green La-Z-Boy sipping Corona and laughed hysterically.
Meanwhile, he looked through his X-ray binoculars (::)) and saw Nightcrawler, who today bared remarkable resemblance to Oded Fehr...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/16/03 at 06:49 p.m.
Through the battles of Mikey with the stone creatures, Mikey saw Watt Daddy standing with his back to the hut and one foot up against it. Mikey fought off the creature attacking him and charged up to Watt Daddy. Watt Daddy took out a lazor gun and held it out to Mikey, "hold right there!" He spoke. Mikey froze. Watt took steps foreward as Mikey stepped back , and then he proceeded to call the creatures off, and so the creatures disapeared. "You wrote that number one hit with my partner...that song about thongs! Now I must kill you, but Ill spare the pleasure, and instead get Catwoman to kill you!" Watt started away, and out of nowhere, Cat appeared, and she kicked Mikey in the face. Reluctant to fight a girl, Mikey let out one small punch, and she fell to the ground. She rose again, with her fists foreward, when suddenly a huge honking sound came from the far distance, and a truck speed in front of Mikey, knocking into Catwoman, and running her over. Mikey flintched. Who came out? None other than trucker, and good friend of Mikey's back in america, Jeff Baker. "you alright?" Jeff asked, Mikey knodded. And so they both got into the truck and speed away.
"Its the Shinning," Jeff spoke, "I got your messege for help!" "I sent that to you?" Mikey questioned, Jeff knodded.
The hobbits sat with Xena when suddenly the huge truck pulled up, and Mikey and a strange man got out. "Hobbits, Xena, this is Jeff, Jeff, Merry and Pippen, and Xena," they all got acquinted. "Now, these stone things," Jeff spoke, "you know how to defeat them, you gotta find the source." "The source?" Merry questioned, Jeff knodded. "The leader!" "That would be Rice!" Xena said, "the person I got that ring from!" Mikey answered. Suddenly the group heard panting from far away. To everyone's astonishment, Jeff whipped out a shot gun and held it out, it was Indy. "Help me?" He asked, before collapsing. Jeff was the first one over, "Dear god! Hes got a broken leg and a punctured lung!" The hobbits and Mikey brought Indy up onto a table as Jeff examined him. "Youre gonna be alright" Jeff said to Indy. "What were you saying?" Xena questioned, "Only the bearer of the ring can defeat the ring wearer!" Everyone stared at Xena, "do I at least get help?" Xena questioned, no one's eyes moved.
"Rice! Rice!" Watt daddy yelled running up to the throne. "Catwoman has been run over!" "Good..." Rice spoke, "then I shall attain another female to take over for her, CHEERLEADER!" Chearleader appeared. Rice gave her orders to defend him, she knodded.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/17/03 at 00:18 a.m.
"Oh thou Parapetetic Youth That Needs a Serious Dose of Ritalin," said Merry, addressing Mikey; "Is it neccessary to drag Rice's entire harem into this thread?" ::)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/17/03 at 08:47 a.m.
The answer to which, of course, was "Yes". Rice did not consider these women a "harem", per se, because Banasy was not included ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/17/03 at 09:46 a.m.
meanwhile, back in the states
(I realize no one will know what 1950s song Im quoting here lol) ::)
Bob Denver, TV's Gilligan and Manard G Crebbs had found out about the plane crash and the possibility of survivors......Being a survivor of a shipwreck himself, he has devoted his whole life to trying to rescue plane/ship wreck survivors that are now stranded on desert islands......Bob used his organization "the Alan Hale jr lost at sea league" or as they call it AHJ/LAS to petition the government to do all they can to rescue these survivors.....after the government did nothing but pull his little white hat over his head, Bob decided to go out after them himself....of course with the help of other sitcom characters from the classic days of televison......
his crew was made up of Ava Gabor from Green Acres, Bill Cosby from I spy, Hal Lindon from Barney Miller (who was their captain :P ), Barbara Eden from I dream of Jennie and of course Marlo Thomas,who you might remember as Ann Marie on THat girl, or from that 70s special with Michael Jackson and Kris Kristopherson...whatever it is I forget its name......anyway, the crew set out to try and search for the castaways, not knowing what surreal adventures were happening on the island (well, maybe Gilligan knows since it happened on his island too)...after 3 hours of no luck, they took a break and ate some lunch Bill COsby had made some Jello for them to eat.....everyone was pretty angry about this..especially Marlo Thomas, who hates jello with a passion..."well its not like we can depend on Ava to make breakfast" Hal Lindon said "Now what would make you say that?" Ava responded...Bob answered "oh Cmon, Ive seen Green Acres re-runs" Bill Cosby turned to bob and said "Hey little buddy, are you guys makeing fun of Jello? cause that aint right!" Bob turned to Bill "Hey, dont call me little buddy!" this erupted into a huge fight between Bob Bill, Hal, Marlo and Ava......Barbara stood in the corner with her arms folded, knoding her head tryed to summon help....after about 15 minutes she remembered that only her character was a genie, not her........
Will the castaways ever be saved?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/17/03 at 09:49 a.m.
Free to be you and me
I knew Id remember its name after I was done! lol
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/17/03 at 09:55 a.m.
Quoting:
meanwhile, back in the states
(I realize no one will know what 1950s song Im quoting here lol) ::)
End Quote
"Stranded in teh jungle"-Cadets...ha!
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/17/03 at 10:05 a.m.
hmmm..it says Michael has the last post, but it is not here..hmmm
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/17/03 at 11:08 a.m.
Quoting:
"Stranded in teh jungle"-Cadets...ha!
End Quote
Then suddenly the New York Dolls showed up (minus Johnny Thunders and Billy Murcia, who were dead) and demanded to know why their version had not been immortalized in this thread over that of the Cadets.... David Johansen grabbed a mike (not Mike) and began singing "Flamingo Row" while hinting that the title contained Flying Fauna.
In the meantime, Merry gazed at all the Jello that Bill had whipped up. "Boy oh boy, is Pippin going to be happy about this!" :o
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/17/03 at 01:59 p.m.
How much longer is this story gonna end up being?
The four people woke up, and Xena found her ring was missing. "Who stole my ring?" She asked in an angry tone of voice, no one spoke. "Who did it?" She yelled again, still nothing. Suddenly a low humming was coming from behind her, "I DID!" A voice suddenly said, and so a man in robes jumped out. Jeff took out his shotgun and held it foreward, but the man just froze, Jeff's eyes widened at the fact that the man's face was blue. Xena called out a name and ran up to him. Jeff slowly put his shot gun away. "Are you alright?" Xena asked, the man knodded. "Woah!" Indy suddenly said, and everyone just turned and stared at him. "We need ta-" the blue man said, "we need to exit this island, Rice is too powerful for you to defeat him!" "Hes not too powerful for us to defeat him!" Mikey said. "Its her, and her alone!" The man answered. Mikey closed his mouth, then opened it again, "what about Watt and Cheerleader?" "They're nothing more than peasents!" THe man answered, Mikey looked back, "can I kill them?" He questioned, the man knodded. Suddenly Indy yelled, and collapsed. Jeff ran up to him, and he noticed that his skin color was changing. "h-h-how?" Xena questioned, Indy glanced up at Xena, then he suddenly turned all blue. "Get back!" Jeff yelled, and he took out his shotgun and held it foreward. Indy now had a sinister look on his face, and proceeded to jump at Jeff, but Jeff fought him off. "He's with the evil side!" The blue man spoke, "what should I do?" Jeff questioned, "RUN!" THe blue man said agian, and so the four people ran with the now sinister Indy not too far behind.
"We've lost him!" Jeff said, as the four people were far into the woods, then suddenly the calling began. "Mikey!" A familur voice yelled, Mikey turned to see Syncronos, wearing a mysterious blue Robe. Syncronos trotted over. "This is Jeff," Mikey said intraducing them, and then when Syncronos held out his hand to shake Jeff's, Mikey noticed his skin was as well blue. "NO!" Mikey yelled, and he pushed Syn away. Syn falled to the ground, and achieved the same sinister look as Indy secconds before. The group ran again.
They reached Jeff's truck, and they all got in. Jeff drove far down. Mikey scanned out the back window to find that Indy and Syn were both on their tails, only now there were three blue guys chasing them. The third was Billy. Suddenly a familur call for help came from teh side of the truck, it was Jonman. Mikey helped him aboard, and he proved to be safe like everyone else in teh car.
The blue things stopped chasing them. Jeff pulled the car up outside Rice's mansion. "Go get the hobbits!" He said to Xena, and her and her husband set off. "Stay here!" Jeff said to Jonman, and Jonman obbayed. Then Jeff and Mikey started into Rice's mansion. They were walking, JEff with his shotgun drawn. Suddenly then a huge cage was dropped upon them. Rice walked up and took the gun out of Jeff's hand. "I have a gift for you!" He spoke, and he handed Mikey a head into the slot in the cage. It was Jonman's. Rice exited, and Mikey yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/17/03 at 02:32 p.m.
Merry and Pippin, finally realizing that they were completely surrounded by utter madness, took a couple bottles of Chablis, 3 loaves of French bread, a pound of Gouda and the handcuffs that Mikey had earlier conjured up (not to mention a couple bowls of jello, and a pair of high powered binoculars) and climbed up the flets to Xena's now abandoned tree house where they intended to stay for the next week, alternately having kinky sex and using the binoculars to watch the show unfold below them.
"No!" exclaimed Merry, as they started to ascend the tree. "You are not bringing the Vegemite!"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/17/03 at 02:42 p.m.
Perhaps Pippin won't bring the vegemite, but his friend Steve Irwin might...for he comes from the land down under 8)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/17/03 at 03:40 p.m.
Quoting:
Perhaps Pippin won't bring the vegemite, but his friend Steve Irwin might...for he comes from the land down under 8)
End Quote
::) ::) ::)
Steve Irwin is not getting in any treehouse with me! :P
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/17/03 at 06:46 p.m.
Then Merry saw it, it was a whole line of blue things in robes, at closer look, she saw it was Indy, BIlly, Syn, Bobo, and Jonman. She went over to greet then, when they attacked her. "Oh no!" Pippen exclaimed, and he ran in to help, but he got attacked as well. "DAng!" Xena's husband yelled from the cliff, and he grabbed a sword with his tail, and leaped down. "Kill Rice!" Her husband exclaimed, Xena knodded and headed off.
"Only you could fit through that opening!" Jeff said to Mikey. Mikey looked at the opening barely big enough to fit Jonman's head through, "Are you joking?" Mikey questioned. "Try," Jeff continued, "youre smaller than me!" Mikey still refused, and Jeff got an idea. Jeff removed a hair from his goatee and picked teh lock. Both Mikey and Jeff were free at last. "Now what to do with Jonman's head," Mikey thought as he realized he was still holding it. "I tell you what," Jeff spoke, "you go on and meet up with Xena, Ill just stand perimeter, and get back my shot gun!" Mikey knodded and headed out.
The water was a dark brownish color, as wel as teh air that day. Out of the murky pond rose a figure with a knife in his mouth. It was Mikey. He had come for one reason and one reason only, to assinate the evil one. Xena was waiting on shore. "Ready?" Mikey questioned, she knodded, and they started in together. "Where are the hobbits?" Mikey questioned, "they got turned into the blue things!" Xena spoke, Mikey stared foreward and cursed. There were noises all around them. Suddenly everyone who was in blue form appeared and proceeded to attack them, but then they were called off by Cheerleader. "You know I must kill you, right?"
Cheer leader said, Mikey stood up in front, "no you mustnt!" He spoke, adn so cheerleader kicked him in teh head. "HEy Cheerleader!" Xena exclaimed, "why dont you pick on someone your own cup size?" And so Cheerleader stood up and went to an all out brawl with Xena. Pippen in blue form walked out of the bushes right in front of the fight, and he instantly raised his eyebrow in excitment. THrough the fog, Mikey saw Watt Daddy, the enemy. Mikey charged up to him with knife in hand. Watt took out his knife and did the same, and attempted to stab Mikey as Mikey attempted to stab him as well. But then suddenly, from teh ground, Mikey lifted up his hand with teh knife in it, and it went right into Watt's bottom jaw. Watt Daddy fell to the ground dead. His entire mouth was nothing more than a red mess. The girls, who now had sticks out of nowhere, were still brawling. But then Mikey saw it, Rice. He had put on a lot of weight since they landed on this island almost a year ago to date. He had numorous heads on sticks all around. Mikey charged at him with a sword, but, just when teh sword's end was not more than an inch away from Rice's body, it was stopped by Xena's husband. "No!" He spoke, "only Xena can kill him!" Rice was knoding his head with a huge smile on his face. Mikey, in defeatment, just threw down his knife and walked away. The brawl with the girls ended with Cheerleader getting pushed off the cliff. Now it was Rice's turn. Xena picked up the sword and started over. Rice still had a big smile on his face, but it went away when the sword was in his huge gut. Rice turned to Xena's husband and spoke his last words, "Gods cant die..." he said, "Youre not a God," Xena's husband continued, "youre a corpse!" And so Rice's body disapeared.
Mikey trotted through the hall of Rices hut where a big celebration was going on. Then he recognized the familur face at the end of the row of seats, with the goatee and shot gun, Jeff. "Ready?" Mikey questioned, Jeff knodded, and they started away in the truck. Everyone else was turned back to normal, and as for teh ring, Xena disposed of it over the cliff where Cheerleader had fallen.
THEN, INDY WOKE UP IN THE HUT WITH A BROKEN LEG AND PUNCTURED LUNG.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/17/03 at 06:55 p.m.
Rice was perplexed, because it seemed that Mike had mistaken Lord of the Flies with Lord of the Rings (::))...or had he? Rice continued to observe Mike in his little padded room, as Mike continued to trip out on LSD...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/17/03 at 08:11 p.m.
Quoting:
Rice was perplexed, because it seemed that Mike had mistaken Lord of the Flies with Lord of the Rings (::))...or had he? Rice continued to observe Mike in his little padded room, as Mike continued to trip out on LSD...
End Quote
What kind of freak "Lord of the flies/rings" did you see? Its called "Apocalypse Now" I was refering to.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/17/03 at 08:13 p.m.
Quoting:
What kind of freak "Lord of the flies/rings" did you see? Its called "Apocalypse Now" I was refering to.
End Quote
umm, Michael....what version of Appocalypse now are you watching?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/17/03 at 08:15 p.m.
Quoting:
umm, Michael....what version of Appocalypse now are you watching?
End Quote
Apparently the one where everyone dies a la "Hamlet" or "Titus Andronicus" ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/17/03 at 11:02 p.m.
Later that night, just as the moon was rising, XenaKat woke up in her treehouse, next to the two hobbits. Note that all three were fully dressed. (Nobody gets to have kinky sex in my treehouse unless *I'm* gettin' some too! >:( )
Xena had a hideous headache, and still had little blue things running around the room everywhere she looked.
"Ooogh....what was in that soup? It feels like I ate Magic Mushrooms. What a weird dream...I was married to a blue furry guy..and the Florios killed everyone in sight."
"I told you not to eat anything the Florio's cooked", said Pippen. "They are on drugs."
"I see that now....sorry I ignored you..." Xena said. "Anyway now that it's night..."
"Now that it's night, I am free to join you", said a voice from behind them, with a slight Scottish lilt to it.
As the hobbits looke on in suprise, XenaKat got up and went to the man who had just removed his long black robes. He was a tall handsome man with long brown hair, or would have been if not for the blue spirals swirling across his face.
Letting her go from his embrace, the man told them: "No others may speak my name till the curse is lifted, but let me introduce myself....I am Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod."
This meant nothing to the hobbits at all. So he further explained that he was immortal, and had been born 400 years before. A curse had been placed upon him by the Evil Rice Cube, that if ever the sun should touch him he would become a mortal again. And frankly...a 400 year old man does not look very nice at all.
"Anyone who speaks my name aloud will summon the Evil Rice to me...to finish the job of killing me. He will trace me through the cursed ring embedded on my finger".
"Would that be the ring XenaKat is wearing?" asked Merry.
"No" said Duncan. "Her ring is just an ordinary ring. But there are three power rings on this island...the Good Power Ring, worn by the Good Rice Cube...the Evil Power Ring worn by the Evil Rice Cube...and my cursed ring.
And as everyone knows:
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Wow," said Pippen, totally missing the point. "...there are TWO Rice Cubes??."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/18/03 at 07:25 p.m.
Quoting:
umm, Michael....what version of Appocalypse now are you watching?
End Quote
It wasn't an exact replica, picture this: Im Martin Sheen, Jeff is the surfer, Jonman is the chef, and Rice is Marlon Brando...those are the only relations and they fit almost exact...think about it, Jonman, or the chef's head is handed to me through the cage...Rice has put on weight and has heads on sticks...I come up from the water with a knife in my mouth...I reunite with Jeff at the party after Rice's death...you get it?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/19/03 at 02:00 p.m.
Interestingly, it seemed that Pippin the hobbit had morphed into Pippen the slightly-over-the-hill basketball player...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/19/03 at 02:04 p.m.
But Pippen/Pippin was irrelevant now, for the troupe was focused on defeating the Evil Cube once and for all!
Rice Cube the Good had a plan...XenaKat would utter the name of the Highlander, which would summon the Evil Cube...but before the Evil Cube could dispatch of the Highlander, Good Cube would come in and save the day!
Now if only he could get a message to XenaKat without revealing himself...for if she knew that he still existed, and of his true feelings to her, there could be hell to pay...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/19/03 at 02:05 p.m.
Rice Cube revealed his plan with his power ring, for it had gotten lost in the fabric of subspace for a moment...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/19/03 at 02:37 p.m.
XenaKat and the hobbits were trying to come up with ideas to stop the Evil Rice Cube. Her beloved Duncan was listening, first with shock, then with disbelief then with horror at the utter stupidity.
"Let's summon Evil Rice, then handcuff him to a tree. We could all have our wild, wicked way with him then....if anyone wants." said Merry.
"That wouldn't work....he's got a Power Ring." said Pippen/Pippin. "Hey....how'd I get so tall? Wow. Things sure look different up here".
"Or maybe we could sic the Florios on him...that would distract him while someone could go in and grab the ring" offered Merry.
"Interesting idea," said XenaKat, "but the ring stays on through willpower. We'd need something much more distracting than the Florios. Maybe we could trick Evil Rice into eating some of the Florios Famous Stew?"
"How about we ride the Pretty Pony of Warriordom over to the Valley of the Devil Bunnies?" asked Pippen. You know how much Devil Bunnies hate the color pink....and that pony of yours IS the most hideous shade of pink I've ever seen.."
XenaKat rolled her eyes at the hobbits. Maybe she had been overly hasty in swearing off normal human men in favor of hobbits and immortals.
Just then a scroll appeared out of nowhere.
The Highlander grabbed the scroll before it hit the ground. "This is it. The sign we've been waiting for." He read the scroll aloud, which told them how to stop the Evil Rice once and for all.
"But I still like my idea better," Pippen said. And with that he climbed down the tree, and went looking for the Pretty Pony of Warriordom.
"Here horsey...nice horsey....."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/19/03 at 02:48 p.m.
The scroll, of course, was a magic scroll that Rice had delivered by carrier pigeon (thanks to his friend Bert) detailing the plan with which to lure and defeat Evil Cube once and for all.
He needed a way to distract the Hobbits and XenaKat though, which he discussed the nuances of the plan with the Highlander.
So, he e-mailed his friend DJ Midas, who sent him by express subspace mail (woo!) a turntable, a monitor and some microphones. It was time for karaoke! Of course, XenaKat, being the Flaming Amazon that she was (*chuckle*) would not be so easily swayed towards the karaoke. Thankfully, Rice was also able to acquire some Samuel Adams Summer Ale to get XenaKat suitably drunk so that she started belting out the chant of the Devil Bunnies in her sweet melodic voice.
Meanwhile, Rice made sure that XenaKat and the Hobbits were still singing before taking the Highlander aside. "I know we both care for her, Highlander, so we must take this fight far away. This is between you, me, and Evil Cube now."
The Highlander nodded and said, "I know what to do."
He grabbed one of DJ Midas' super-speakers and called XenaKat's breastplate phone with his Minute Pass (TM) and said, "Hello, XenaKat, would you say my name now?"
XenaKat replied, "Whyever for? But I will do it for you, Duncan MacLeod..." which was, unbeknownst to her, bellowed out of the superspeaker!
The Evil Cube had arrived...XenaKat was unaware, as she was still singing with the Hobbits. Would the Highlander and Cube the Good be able to defeat him?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/19/03 at 02:59 p.m.
Except for the fact that XenaKat hates the taste of beer...so the plan outlined in Good Rice Cubes magic scroll would not be carried out.
As Xena, Duncan and Merry were trying to figure out what to do next, Duncan noticed one of the hobbits was missing.
"Where's Pippen?" he asked.
Just then words appeared on the magic scroll. "Oh no!!! That fool!" the Highlander shouted.
"What?" asked Merry and Xena.
"He's gone off to the Valley of the Devil Bunnies by himself."
There was nothing for it but for Merry and XenaKat to chase down Pippen before he got himself into real trouble. But how they were going to catch up to him when he was riding the Hideously Pink Pretty Pony of Warriordom nobody knew.
Meanwhile Good Rice Cube and the Highlander got started on their plan to stop Evil Rice Cube.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/19/03 at 03:01 p.m.
So Rice decided to just sedate the stubborn woman instead ::) And implant a karaoke program in her brain, just for good measure ;D
Meanwhile, to save the courageous yet ridiculously stupid hobbits, Rice dispatched the spirits of Seabiscuit and Affirmed to race down and intercept them before they were overrun by the horrible Devil Bunnies, who were rumored to "cute" people to death...the hobbits did not stand a chance!
And still, the Evil Cube approached...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/19/03 at 10:35 p.m.
Indy was thrown about twenty feet away from Syn's hut, he awoke, and looked up. "Syncronos!" He yelled. There was no answer. Syncronos then fell down on the ground from his hut and limped over towards Indy. "What the heck just happoned?" He questioned, then the truck with Mikey and Jeff drove up and the two people got in. "Where Billy?" Mikey asked, Indy and Syn shook their heads. Then they saw the figure standing in the road, virtually unharmed, it was Billy. He got in, and there were now 5 people in a two person truck. Syn and Indy stood in teh back, Billy was in the passenger's seat, Jeff was driving, and Mikey sat in the middle. "Jeff?" Mikey questioned, "whats this?" He asked picking up a blue circular thing. "Thats.." Jeff answered, "thats, Xena's ring! We need to get to her, fast and give it back before Rice trys anything!" The truck spead at its fastest speed. "We're too heavy!" Jeff spoke, "someone needs to get out!" Indy and Syn both looked at each other, and then Mikey and Billy both simutainiously stood up and threw out their less favorite, but their less favorites weren't the same, so now the truck was two people lighter. "I see how it is!" Jeff spoke, "kick out the injured people!" Billy knodded. In that split seccond, the truck drove off of the road and was driving through the forest now. "I cant control this thing!" Jeff spoke, "we're gonna have to jump out, dont forget the ring!" Mikey picked up the ring and grasped it in his hand. Jeff picked up his shotgun, and Billy, well Billy just took the head of the seatbelt. Jeff kicked open his door and jumped out, followed by Mikey, and then Billy. "That was close!" Billy said when he got out. The truck proceeded to crash into a dam and sink. "Great!" Jeff said.
"Wait!" Xena spoke, "my ring! Its not on my hand!" the hobbits stared at her, Xena tried to retrace her steps. "I was here, and I was at Rice's house with Mikey, Mikey has it!" She said. The hobbits stared at each other. "Whose Mikey?" Duncan questioned in an angered tone, "are you cheating on me?" "What?" Xena replied, "no! Not at all!" "She could do a lot better than Mikey!" Pippin said, everyone stared at her, "Whose better than Mikey?" Merry questioned, "Indy? Indys not even close to Mikey!" The two argued like this for some time, "SHUT UP!" Xena finally said, "we need to find my ring!" "I saw Mikey before!" Pippin said again, "he was in a truck with some guy with a goatee!"
Rice was taking a shower. He had removed his ring and left it on the table. Upon this, Watt Daddy seized the oppitunity and put it on. With that, Xena broke out in a severe headache and collapsed to the ground, and the other ring let off a slight shock through Mikey's hand as he held it. "Ahh!" He spoke, adn he dropped it. "You moron!" Billy said, as he jumped down on the ground to get it. "It let out a shock in my hand!" Mikey said. BIlly grapsed it in his had, "I dont feel a shock, genius!" Watt was moving things around with the ring. "IF Rice finds out youre doing this, youre gonna die!" Cheerleader said in a calm voice. Watt, in my opinion, looks like Mr Body from the movie "Clue"...the actors name was Lee Ving...but I dont know how true that is...but anyway, Watt just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Ive had a good run!" With that, he broke out into a great ceasur and collapsed. Rice approached. "st-st-st," he said, "thats what happons when you play with the powers of the latern!" Rice took the ring off Watt's finger and looked back at Cheerleader, "you think hes been punished enough?" He questioned. Cheerleader said and did nothing. Rice laughed his sinister laugh and walked away while putting the ring back on.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/19/03 at 11:21 p.m.
"Hey...isn't that Mikey?" asked Merry, pointing to one of the Florios.
He was sitting in the grass muttering to himself about blue rings, Xena losing her ring, Xena cheating on Duncan and several people who were not even on the island.
"There's nothing really we can do for him....he's overdosed on his own drug-laced soup. Evil Rice will be here soon and we have to get out of the way." Xena said.
"But we can't just leave Mikey in the line of fire..." Merry said, horrified. "Why not?" said XenaKat...he's not doing anything useful..."
"Oh.....all right." She said, when Merry seemed ready to burst into tears. "Help me move him into this hut over here. It's got something soft covering all the walls, so he won't get hurt when the battle begins."
And with that XenaKat and Merry picked up the babbling Mikey and put him into the nice, soft hut out of the way.
Then they ran to try to catch up to Pippen, who by now had a half hour lead on them...and he was riding the Pretty Pony of Warriordom.
"We need to find mounts for ourselves," said Merry, gasping, "or we'll never catch up."
"I know," puffed Xenakat, "follow me to the Temple of Ares...we can get rides there."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/19/03 at 11:33 p.m.
With Mike safely out of the way, XenaKat and Merry raced off to the Temple of Ares. There they found Alydar's Revenge, still miffed after being second all this time, but now he was needed, for he was both swift and graceful. XenaKat threw Merry on the horse and mounted Alydar right behind the hobbit. As if on cue, Alydar sprouted mighty pegasus wings and took to the skies so that the duo could scour the lands for the poor lost Pippin. Or was it Pippen? They had no clue of the fate of the rapidly mutating hobbit, but one thing was for certain: whatever his form, he was in a lot of danger in the pit of the Devil Bunnies.
On the other end, Rice Cube the Good was pleased that XenaKat was far away on a less hazardous mission, for he would not be able to forgive himself if something bad were to happen to her.
Cube the Good looked at the Highlander. The Highlander brandished his large Claymore sword, and Cube the Good sent sparks out of his power ring and formed a mighty bat'leth of energy and light. It was time to engage the Evil Cube, as he plummeted towards the two warriors at Mach Pi. Cube the Good waited till the last possible second before creating a giant green anvil, which the Evil Cube crashed into and bounced off of after sounding off a sickening *THUD!*
Evil Cube bounced off with such force, in fact, that he was tossed nearly a third of a solar system away...it would be some time before he would return to engage the warriors again...but for now, they could rest...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/19/03 at 11:56 p.m.
Syncronos then awoke in a hut, "hey," he thought, "I was in a field before!" He then realized that he must've been inhaling some of the drugs that the Florios had, and he was drugged. And Xena and Merry must've to, since they thought he was Mikey, but Mikey was very much sober, with Jeff and Billy looking for Xena. Then they heard the jolly voice of Jonman, who hadnt been beheaded after all, and he joined them. "Let me see that ring," Jonman said to Billy, and Billy gave him the ring. Jonman grapsed it in his palm and they kept moving. "Oh, no!" Jonman suddenly said, "I think-I think I put on the ring!" Jonman then turned into a large ray of light that blinded everyone around him, the three men ran. In the end, Jonman's corpse was on the ground. Mikey took the ring off his finger and gave a final salute.
"So the ring," Billy siad, "must kill anyone who isnt Xena!" Jeff stopped walking and said, "youre a fast one, genius!" Billy was just grinning like a moron. "So," he said, "wheres that Xena chick, shes hot!" Jeff and Mikey stared at him once again, BIlly once again had a dumb looking smirk on his face. "ANY way," Jeff said, "lets continue!" Later on, the trio was close to the temple of Aeres when Jeff suddenly said, "wait, Xenas the one with the tank top?" Billy knodded, "yeah, she is kinda hot!" Jeff continued, "do you think shes hot?" He asked Mikey, Mikey just stared back, "how did this conversation start, again?" He asked. "Ohhhh!" Billy said, "someone has a crush!" Jeff and Mikey both stared at Billy as he continued, singing now, "Xena and Mikey sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..." "SHUT UP!" Mikey said, punching Billy in the arm. "oww!" Billy said, "that hurt!" "Will you guys grow up?" Jeff asked, "he started it!" Mikey said pointing to Billy. Then suddenly, there were movements in the brushes. And up popped Lee Ving, Mr Body from the movie "Clue," and actor in "Airheads," "Its Watt DAddy!" Jeff yelled, and he opened fire on the young actor. "What are you doing man?" Billy questioned, "you just killed one of the least infamous actors of all time!" "Watt daddy was an actor?" Jeff questioned. "ITs not Watt, it was Lee Ving!" It was silent, but then Mikey suddenly broke the silence, "Too many random people are popping up out of nowhere on this island!"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/20/03 at 00:09 a.m.
Flying towards the Venomous Valley of Devil Bunnies and other Perversely Unusual Animals, XenaKat felt uneasy. They had been given access to Alydar's Revenge far too easily by Ares. And he never gives something for nothing.
He helped her before because Evil Rice was cramping his style...what would he want for help rescuing Pippen?
"I'm glad you asked, my dear" said a voice in her head suddenly."There is something from you I want."
XenaKat did not like Ares's tone....it did not bode well.
Before she could begin to guess what Ares wanted....the flying horse disappeared into thin air, dumping both Xena and Merry.
Xena started to scream, but didn't have time to. She found herself standing safely on a hilltop, Merry lying on a bier nearby. Merry appeared to be asleep.
"You are right, my dear...I do want something from you. You see....I don't mind you having your little mortal..."toys". But I cannot allow you to marry this immortal.
Leave him...Or I will see to it that after he kills off the Evil Cube, he will die too!"
"Ares No!...Please! I love him!"
"You will come to love me in time. I must have you. I can make you a Goddess....give you wealth....power...anything you want. You can even keep a harem full of boytoys if you want. I won't mind...I might even join you sometimes.'
As Ares spoke...XenaKat was horrified.
At first.
But when he said he might "join her" with a harem full of boytoys.....
XenaKat's resolved faltered.
"I....I....I'll have to think about it..." she said.
This was better than Ares had expected.
Kewl!!!! he said."Let's go rescue that hobbit then. We'll leave this one here so he doesn't get ripped to pieces by the Devil Bunnies."
"But won't Merry be in danger?" Xena asked.
"Nah", Ares said "There's a Handsome Prince in the neighborhood. Maybe he will kiss Merry and they will live happily ever after."
"Hansome Prince? Which one?" Xena asked.
"His name is......"
To be continued......
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/20/03 at 00:36 a.m.
"There she is!" Jeff yelled, as he looked up upon the mountain and saw Xena talking to Ares. Jeff raised his gun, Xena caught his eye and signaled for him to wait before firing. Jeff knodded. Ares continued to talk:
Jonman!
"bu-but, Jonman's dead!" Xena said, Aeres look turned to anger. "Then it shall be Indygent!" "bu-but," Xena continued, "he could barely walk!" With that Aeres looked like he only had one more suggestion, "then it will be the suiter I found for you, Ill give to her, Lee Ving!" Jeff looked back at the Florios. "LEE VING! COME OUT AND PRESENT YOURSELF!" "we need to do something!" Mikey said, "shoot is what Im gonna do!" Jeff answered, but Xena shook her head constantly no. "I got an idea!" BIlly siad, and he ran off and returned with Watt DAddy. At gunpoint, they forced Watt Daddy to take the actor's role. "Im Lee Ving!" Watt said, in a drunken voice, he was drunk. With those three words, Aeres picked up Watt and flung him miles away. "Who has murdered LEe Ving?" He yelled. Xena then knodded her head, and Jeff fired 3 shots at the giant. With that, Aeres turned around and flung Jeff into the nearby hut. Billy whipped out his sword and tried to stab him, as Michael ran over to Xena. "you alright?" He asked, Xena knodded, and then broke out in tears. "He told me I cant marry Duncun!" She screamed. "ITs alright!" Mikey said, and so Xena stopped crying. Aeres then flung Billy back a few feet and started towards Xena. He was growing normal sized as he walked up. Xena stood alone, but right before Aeres reached her, Mikey jumped in front of her and summoned the beast. "LEave her alone!" He yelled. Aeres looked angry and began attacking Mikey. But Mikey thought, and once when Aeres put out his great hand, Mikey slipped the ring on his finger, and Aeres turned into a huge light. Aeres then disapeared adn the ring lie ont eh ground. Mikey picked it up and handed it to Xena. "you moron!" She screamed. "He was our God! And you killed him! You murdered him! I cant believe you did that! He was trying to help me!" She slapped Mikey accross the face. Mikey paused, and then yelled back, "WELL YOU COUL'VE TOLD ME THAT!" Xena looked down still with an angered face on. "First you tell Jeff to fire at it, then you tell me its making you marry a mortal, which you dont want, and then the feared expression on your face, I just dont know what you want anymore!" Mikey yelled. Xena just looked up, "Im sorry!" She said. "Its alright!" Mikey answered, "now lets go save Pippin!" And so they got JEff and Billy and Merry and started out.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/20/03 at 01:32 a.m.
As Mikey, Jeff and Billy started off towards the Valley, Mikey realized that neither Merry nor Xena was following them. Merry was still sound asleep on the bier, and Xena was looking extremely annoyed.
"What?" said Mikey.
"Mikey, Mikey, Mikey....you need to learn to read more deeply before you post. Ares did not order me to marry a mortal...nor did he start picking them out for me."
"Yes he did!" insisted Mikey.
"No, Mikey, he didn't. Go back and read it again!"
Just then Ares returned.
"Foolish Florio....YOU CANNOT KILL A GOD!" and with that he lifted his hand with which to smite the Florio.
"Wait Ares! Don't smite him please. It's not his fault...he didn't read closely enough...he thought I was mad at you."
"Very well, my dear" Ares said, lowering his arm and dousing the fireball he held there. "But he is going to have to pay much more attention to the plotbunnies if he wants to live through this story!"
"I'm sure he will. Now....Ares...perhaps Mikey and Bill and all them could go in search of the Handsome Prince...who is the only one who can wake Merry up from the sorcerous sleep you have put him under."
"Good idea, Xena! That should keep them busy while we go get Pippen away from the Dastardly Devil Bunnies."
And with that, Ares unfurled his wings....large, black dragon-like wings from his shoulders. He picked up XenaKat and flew off with her to the Venomous Valley of Devil Bunnies and Other Perverse Animals.
"Now what?" asked Mikey.
"I guess we'd better find this prince...and wake up Merry," said Billy. "Otherwise we won't get to see Xena again."
And so they began their search for the Handsome Prince to kiss Merry and wake him up.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/20/03 at 01:46 a.m.
During the acid trip of my brother, Billy had locked himself in his hut with Avril......ah sweet pleasure
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/20/03 at 01:49 a.m.
As Xena flew away, Jeff thought up something, "can dead people kiss?" He asked, Mikey and Billy stared at him. "we could try" He continued. And so they got Lee Ving's body and brought him over to teh sleeping Merry. Jeff put his lips apon hers. "Kiss, come on you moron, kiss!" He said, "I dont think its gonna work," Billy said. Mikey stood up in outrage. "You morons!" He spoke, "you both said it yourself, XENAKAT IS HOT! And if you ever wanna see her again, I dont think that making dead people kiss sleeping people is gonna work!" With that, Jeff and Billy stood up. "Now, lets go get everyone else on this island who is alive!" Mikey said, and they started off.
They returned an hour later with Indy, Syn, the dead body of Jonman, the dead body of Bobo, and Watt Daddy and Cheerleader at gunpoint. "Wait, wait, wait" Watt Daddy said, "Youre taking me at gunpoint and forcing me to kiss your sex-ambiguas friend?" Mikey knodded. "Ok, then!" Watt said, adn then spoke again, pointing to Cheerleader, "why is she here?" "You said, sex ambiguas!" Mikey answered, Watt Daddy knodded. And so the line started.
Syncronos kissed, and nothing
Indy kissed, and nothing
Watt Daddy kissed, and nothing
Cheerleader kissed, and nothing
"um," Billy spoke, "maybe you need to really get some more tounge action in that kiss!" Cheerleader just simply flipped him the bird and left.
After a short pause, Billy spoke, "What about us?" "Ok," Jeff said, and he tried it, and nothing, then Mikey tried, and nothing, then Billy tried, and nothing. "haha!" Syncronos said with all his remaining strength, "we all kissed her, and now you kissed her, that means its almost like you kissing all of us!" With that, everyone stared at Syn with questioned expressions on their faces. Syn just bowed his head in shame.
Nobody there worked...
"Maybe it was Lee Ving" Jeff said to Mikey, Mikey answered "Or maybe its Rice..."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/20/03 at 10:15 a.m.
Meanwhile, Rice Cube the Good and the Highlander stood by and played seven-card stud on a makeshift table while Evil Rice continued to make his way back towards them for a final battle. Cube the Good and the Highlander WOULD go help out the hobbits and XenaKat and heck, even the Florios in the meantime, but Billy was too busy having raunchy sex with Avril and Mike was making no sense whatsoever, so 'twas better just to wait...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/20/03 at 10:16 a.m.
Alydar's Revenge floated overhead, revealing a new plottwist with a flutter of his pegasus wings...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/20/03 at 03:48 p.m.
Meanwhile locked deep in sleep, Meriadoc dreamed:
The sky was filled with thousands of Oreos, all sprouting Pegasi wings and trailing long banners that read: "Avril's latest - on Sale now at Tower Records" Intermingling with the Oreos were thousands of 1 foot square Rice Cubes, which were being industriously shot out ot the sky one by one by Mikey, who was sporting a giant crossbow wrapped in a sheep. As each Cube fell, it burrowed into the earth and immediately sprouted a head of Jonman. Jonman heads were beginning to litter the landscape. Billy played the drums and sang "Stranded in the Jungle" while David Johansen and Sylvain Sylvain provided the ahhh ahhhs.... Watt Daddy and Syncronos played strip poker while loudly chanting the lyrics to "Oh Not Another William Tong Song." Cheerleader was riding bareback on a purple pony and performing pirouettes while Pippin and Bobo argued with Ares and Duncan about the merits of Manchester United. Someone named Jeff and Indy were fighting a dual with lawn jarts... Then suddenly the clouds parted, the cubes and oreos disappeared from the sky, the band and the chanters were silenced, the Jonman heads wilted...
And the voice of XenaKat came loudly from the heavens:
"Let there be kinky sex"
And there was kinky sex.
And it was good.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/20/03 at 09:18 p.m.
While Merry was getting some lovin' as willed by the self-proclaimed goddess known as XenaKat (::)), Pippin (or was it Pippen?) was trekking ever closer to his doom in the Valley of the Devil Bunnies. Pippin was exhausted...his poor hobbit feet were not through mutating and the rapid mitosis/apoptosis was taking its toll on him both energywise and sensitivitywise. He was growing at a logarithmic rate, amassing muscles in a seemingly Hulkesque manner. Just 50 yards out of the entrance to the valley, Pippin finally transformed into Pippen, Sidekick Extraordinaire! But without Jordan, lord of the Chicago Bulls and high priest of Mike Armstrong, would Pippen stand a chance against the Devil Bunnies?
Pippen palmed his Basketball of Ballistic Badassitude, steeled his body, left the Pretty Pony of Warriordom behind, and prepared to enter battle with the evil Devil Bunnies...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/20/03 at 09:40 p.m.
While Merry blissfully slept on, dreaming dreams sent to him by Ares at Xena's request, Mikey was in a deep funk. After having everyone in his group try kissing the sleeping Merry, including several corpses, without any luck, Mikey had no idea how to wake the sleeping Merry and still did not know what gender he/she was.
Just then Mikey saw someone lurching up the hill towards the bier. He was carrying handcuffs, a spatula, a length of silken cord and a bottle of chocolate syrup. It looked like a corpse. But....
"Hey, who are you?" he asked. "And what are you doing?"
"I am Marylin Manson. I heard there was a hobbit here in search of kinky sex."
"Yes there is....but, er 'he' is asleep...and we can't wake him up. Only a prince can." lamented Mikey.
"Perrrrrrrfect," hissed Marilyn. "I am the Prince of Dark Weirdness." And before anyone could stop him, he kissed Merry full on the mouth, slipping him the tounge. Merry woke up and screamed at the sight before him.
"Husssshhhh little one. Kinky sex you want...kinky sex you will get." and before Merry could get away, Marilyn Manson handcuffed Merry and tied him up with the silken cord. He then whistled and a giant cockroach skittered up. Marylin tossed Merry up and climbed up after, cackling evilly as he rode off.
"Um...should we rescue Merry?" asked Mikey.
"Of course we should," said Billy, "I just don't know if Merry wants to be rescued. He did talk about kinky sex an awful lot."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/20/03 at 09:53 p.m.
Upon further review, Pippen decided that it would be best to bring the Pretty Pony of Warriordom into the Valley of the Devil Bunnies. After all, Devil Bunnies WERE attracted to the color pink, which is, of course, what the Pony is colored. In fact, they would be attracted to the horse like moths to a candlelight!
Pippen was sad...he did not wish to sacrifice this poor pony, but for his plan to succeed, he had no choice.
The Pony was thus staked in the center of the Valley while the Devil Bunnies slept. Pippen then took a blade of grass and put it between his fingers and blew, making a Devil Bunny mating noise. Suddenly, the Valley erupted with the pitter patter of Devil Bunny feet, as the Devil Bunnies ran towards the noise at a manic pace. Before they saw Pippen, hiding behind a rock as he was, they gazed upon the very pink Pony and changed direction. They were confused as to how the Pony learned ventriloquism, but now they were more than curious about this new pink creature in their midst, and began to charge the Pony.
As the Pony was overrun, neighing and baying in pain and agony, Pippen ran across the Valley while the Devil Bunnies were distracted towards the sacred trove that stored the prize he had been seeking for so long...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/20/03 at 10:09 p.m.
Reaching the Sacred Trove of Magical Artifacts, Pippen rifled through the objects found therein.
"Where is it? *Where* *is* *it*" he muttered.
"Ah-ha!!!!! Found it!" and with that, Pippen pulled out a glowing sword. It was black with mystical red runes running up and down the blade. It also softly hummed. Or was that a moan?
"Yes...." said Pippen, just at the Devil Bunnies finished off the very-pink-by-now Pretty Pony of Warriordom. "Oh-oh," Pippen said..."I'm in trouble now."
But the bunnies did not attack Pippen. Instead the leader bowed to him and said, "Thou holdest the Enchanted Sword, Stormbringer. The only weapon that can kill an immortal. What dost thou wishest of us, O Master?"
"Sweet" thought Pippen. Aloud he said....."Come with me O Devil Bunnies of Wrath. For Ares has commanded that I kill the Dark Highlander, who has turned the head of Ares' favorite."
"We hear, and obey, O Master of the Devil Blade." they chorused.
So they left the valley, and headed back to XenaKat's treehouse.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/20/03 at 10:17 p.m.
"I told you it wasnt Lee Ving!" Billy said to Jeff, and Jeff just punched him in the arm. "um..." Merry thought, "why was Marlyn Manson just making out with me?" "He wanted some kinky sex!" Mikey answered, Merry just stared at him strangely. "This is the story!" Jeff spoke, "the four of us have gotta find Xena and Aeres and help them save Pippen!" "aww," Billy said, "do we have to, haven't we done enough?" "Ok then" Jeff said, "stay here!" "What do we do about Marlyn?" Merry questioned, Jeff raised his shotgun and shot him in the leg. Marlyn collapsed. "ok, that should hold him," he said, and so the three people started off.
"hey, I still have Xena's ring!" Mikey said, "we should return it to her!" He spoke. Meanwhile, Billy found Avril again and so they did what they did, and then Maria appeared out of nowhere, and so they got it on as well. "Trust me," Mikey said, "in real life, Billy wouldn't even come close to getting with all these chicks!" Jeff knodded, "he sure wouldn't" he spoke.
Then there they were, the golden arches. Thats right, a Mcdonalds, on the middle of an island. "anyone else hungry?" JEff questioned, Merry and Mikey knodded, and so they approached the dumpster outside for food. After all, at least that trash is free...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/20/03 at 10:22 p.m.
As the Devil Bunnies stormed behind Pippen towards the battle of the Rice Cubes, Pippen wielded the mighty Enchanted Sword above his head and screamed a battle cry: "NIIIII!!" Birds flew away in panic and antelope scattered as the horde of Devil Bunnies devoured everything in their wake and thundered across the plains of Rohan...
Meanwhile, Rice Cube the Good had beaten the Highlander in two-player spades for the seventh time in a row. The Highlander had not yet mastered the art of counting cards. As they continued to play, Evil Cube had just passed the outer perimeter of the Martian Sector, hurtling back towards Earth at ungodly speeds.
Cube the Good perked up his ears and created an amplifier, as he detected a sound...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/20/03 at 10:40 p.m.
But Marilyn Manson, being the creature of evil that he is, recovered far too quickly from the shotgun blast. He got up, and followed the group to the McDonald's. Along the way he picked up a Spell of Immobilization.
Sneaking up behind the gang, Marilyn tossed the spell at them and shouted out the words to invoke the spell "KLATUU VARADA NIKTOE!!!!!!!!"
There was a breif puff of smoke, and Mike, Billy, Jeff, Avril (who was still dead), Maria, and Merry were paralysed.
"I will not be denied!" shouted the Prince of Dark Weirdness. And he once again grabbed Merry ( in a spot which made Merry squeal with delight) and carried the hobbit off.
After they were out of sight, Billy said "How much longer before we can move? I have an itch!"
"I think these things last about an hour" said Jeff. "We'll just have to hope we are in time to rescue Merry."
"Why!!??" asked Maria, "When Merry got grabbed just now he sounded like he liked it. Do you guys have to be hit over the head with a PlotBat? Besides...why worry about a hobbit when you've got me and Avril?"
Before any of the men could answer...what did their wondering eyes see...but a Horde of Devil Bunnies...being led by a wild-eyed Pippen shouting for the head of the Dark Highlander in the name of Ares!
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/20/03 at 10:48 p.m.
I think I am going back to sleep now.... :P
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/20/03 at 10:51 p.m.
This had all been planned by Ares...you see, Ares wanted XenaKat for himself, and so could not have the Highlander interfere, which is why he possessed Pippen to go off and get the Devil Bunnies and the Enchanted Sword that would eliminate him once and for all...
Rice Cube the Good decided that playing two player spades with the Highlander sucked because he was winning all the time, so packed up the deck and braced himself for a new attack from the Evil Cube. But he did not account for the fact that the Evil Cube was only 5 miles away and coming in at Mach "A-Lot" (A new number) and before he could prepare, Evil Cube threw a punch so hard that the earth trembled and Rice Cube the Good was thrown a hundred miles away until he hit Stonehenge, toppling the ancient structure like kids' dominoes. Evil Cube was now to face the Highlander alone, but with Pippen and the Devil Bunnies approaching, would the Highlander be able to withstand threats from two sides?
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/20/03 at 11:09 p.m.
Suddenly Indy and Syn appeared, and they were instantly engoulphed by the bunnies. "oh well," Mikey said, "there goes that idea!"
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/20/03 at 11:14 p.m.
Good Rice Cube sat up shaking his head. "Damn. He hits hard. I must hit harder."
And with that Good Rice Cube flew off to Jupiter, turned and came back. He arrived on the island traveling at Mach "A Whole Lot" with both hands clenched in a double fist.
Just before he could hit Evil Rice, the Devil Bunnies attacked. But they missed the Dark Highlander completely because he had just been knocked to the ground by Evil Rice.
Evil Rice could not fight all of them. There were too many of them to focus his willpower on all of them. Just then, Good Rice arrived and hit.......
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/20/03 at 11:20 p.m.
Then Watt Daddy and Cheerleader arrived to help out good rice...and they were actually winning.
"dude," Jeff spoke, "is Rice helping us?" With that, Mikey turned to Maria and spoke, "youre hot!" "Not now!" She yelled back, "no, you still look hot now!" Mikey answered, with that, Billy hit Mikey in teh back of the head, "wait, Billy," Mikey said, "you could move!" With that everyone tried to move, adn they were able to. And with that, they assisted the rest in the fight of the evil bunnies!
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/20/03 at 11:21 p.m.
...Pippen! Evil Rice had just ducked to dispatch a few Devil Bunnies gnawing at his feet. Poor Pippen, without the aura of a power ring to protect him, got his head torn off by the awesome powerpunch of Cube the Good. He promptly let go of the Enchanted Sword and it flew into the air. The Highlander, also slashing Devil Bunnies left and right, did not see the sword fly towards him. The Enchanted Sword, being a magical artifact, was not something the Highlander was immune against. The Sword tore through the Highlander's flesh like a hot knife through coffee creamer and split his head in half, killing him instantly. Somewhere in the distance, Ares chuckled under his breath.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/20/03 at 11:23 p.m.
Rice Cube the Good picked himself up and used his power ring to reveal the battle scene around him...
With a small break in the action, Rice Cube the Good took a rubber chicken and slapped Mike upside the head for ruining continuity again ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/20/03 at 11:43 p.m.
Momentarily distracted by the fact that Mikey was impervious to being hit by both the PlotBat and the rubber chicken, Good Rice found himself under attack by the Devil Bunnies, who were now out of control since no one was wielding the Cursed Sword Stormbringer.
It was the most horrifyingly absurd thing a body could want to see....two Rice Cubes dancing idiotically, covered with green and purple striped Devil Bunnies. Devil Bunnies up and down their arms and legs, Devil Bunnies in their hair, Devil Bunnies in their shorts....
It was then that Ares and XenaKat arrived......
The first thing that she saw was Duncan...in two pieces...dead as a doornail. "EEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGG!! He's dead! My beloved is dead!
WHO'S RESPONSIBLE??" She thundered, turning on the others.
"Er...ah...it was an accident," Mike said. "Pippen dropped the magic sword thingy when the Good Rice Cube missed punching the Bad Rice and hit Pippen instead."
XenaKat whirled to see Pippen's headless body lying there.
"Oh My God!!! You Killed Pippen!!!!! You BASTARD!!!!" yelled Xena, as she picked up the possessed sword.
But in her rage, she totally missed Good Rice...and stabbed Evil Rice with Stormbringer.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/20/03 at 11:47 p.m.
Evil Rice stumbled around for a while with the Stormbringer hanging in his chest cavity...it seemed he wouldn't die for the longest time.
So Rice Cube the Good dropped a 16-ton green anvil on him, just for sh!ts and giggles.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/21/03 at 00:07 a.m.
As the Evil Rice slowly died of asphyxiation and blood loss...the mind control spell he had placed on XenaKat faded. The Devil Bunnies..deprived of their lifelong enemy changed color...from a hideous green and purple stripe to a lovely shade of lilac. They were also no longer evil, and began calmly munching the grass nearby.
Xena looked around dazed.
She saw the very dead Dark Highlander, blinked, and asked Ares, "Did I really think I was in love with him?...Yuck!"
"Yes my dear, you did. Ares said, But now that this evil Green Lantern is dead, everything is back to normal."
"No, it isn't," said XenaKat. "Poor Pippen. Poor sweet innocent Pippen is dead." and she began to cry.
"Don't!!! Don't cry! Gadang it, I can't stand it when you cry!!! GGGGRRRRRRR! FINE!!!"
And pinching the bridge of his nose Ares gathered his power.
"The parental units are not going to like this one bit," Ares muttered under his breath, "but anything to get her to quit crying!!"
There was a blinding flash.
A sparkling, glow surrounded the body of Pippen, hovered for a bit, and was slowly absorbed inwards.
Pippen blinked, and sat up, alive.
"Whoa,....what just hit me?" he asked.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/21/03 at 00:11 a.m.
"My bad, Pip" said Rice Cube the Good, now the only Rice Cube left.
Pippen had been brought back in his hobbit form, so now we shall call him Pippin.
And the Devil Bunnies, who were no longer evil, would now be the Easter Bunnies of Pastelia, as they became more docile and more pettable.
"And now," Ares said, "I have a proposition for you, my dear Kat..."
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/21/03 at 00:28 a.m.
Ares dropped to one knee before XenaKat. He snapped his fingers, and produced a ring of silver valentinite, more rare than gold and far more vaulable.
"Xena...I have loved you since I first set eyes on you. I can't bear the thought of you growing old...and dying as all mortals must do. I meant what I said earlier...if you want a harem full of boytoys to play with...they are yours. But please, please...tell me you will join with me in Olympus, and be my Goddess of War. I love you Xena...marry me?"
"Oh Ares..." Xena choked, once again the tears flowing. But this time they were tears of joy. "Yes. Yes beloved I will spend eternity with you."
Ares slipped the ring of valentinite on her finger, stood up, and embraced her tenderly. He leaned in to kiss her.
Just as his soft, velvety lips brushed hers, there was a disturbance behind them.
"What is the meaning of this!!!!! How dare you bring the dead back to life!!!! You have not the right!"
It was Zeus. King of the gods. And he was absolutely livid with his least-favorite son.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Rice_Cube on 06/21/03 at 01:56 p.m.
Especially since Ares had also gone over Hades' head, but Hades could not come out of (um...) Hades because he had been banished there by Zeus and rebanished when Wonder Woman kicked Felix Faust's butt in an unsuccessful bid for Hades to hostile takeover Zeus' Godsoft Enterprises.
Needless to say, with this bureaucratic mess and all the paperwork Athena and Hera would have to sift through, CEO Zeus was a tad incensed.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/21/03 at 09:22 p.m.
Ummm..... not to be a nag here, but I'm not still hangin' out with Marilyn, am I? :P
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/21/03 at 09:25 p.m.
"woah," Mikey said, as he watched all of this, then he saw Maria, sitting in the distance. So Mikey started over towards her. "Youre still hot!" He said, she looked up and smiled, and the two of them went into Rice's hut. Billy and Jeff watched.
"Come on, AVril" Billy said, "we could show them!" "Dude," Jeff spoke, "Avril's been dead for a long time!" "DANG IT!" Billy yelled, "why her?"
"Ares," Jeff spoke walking up to him, "this probably isn't the best time to tell you, but, um, Merry is sorta being imprisionated by Marlyn Manson, could you, eh, do anything?" Ares just stared back at him and did nothing. Xena wispered in his ear, and he attempted something, but he was unable. "Ares!" Xena spoke, "I cant," he answered, "my powers, they dont work!" Xena took a step back. "Im sorry, he said, this has never happoned before!" Then he saw it, out of Billy's pocket, the Viagra. Ares grabbed it and popped them in his mouth, now he was able for anything...
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Billy_Florio on 06/21/03 at 09:33 p.m.
viagra? I dont need to stinkin viagra!.......egh...Merry, Im with you..Im going back to sleep (actully its only 11:30 and Im going out lol)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Meriadoc on 06/21/03 at 09:35 p.m.
Don't forget to give Mikey his medication first ;D
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/21/03 at 09:58 p.m.
Quoting:
Don't forget to give Mikey his medication first ;D
End Quote
No medication make Mikey something something
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/21/03 at 10:20 p.m.
While Mikey was muttering something to himself about viagra, Ares was rendered immoble by Zeus.
"Ares there will be a trial. You have overstepped your bounds and brought the dead back to life. That is not your job." thundered Zeus.
"Will he be allowed to have people speak on his behalf?" asked XenaKat.
"Yes, but I warn you it will do him no good."
On the other side of the island, Merry, tied to Marilyn Manson's bed, trembled in fear. He did not know what was going to happen to him....but was sure he wasn't going to like it.
Just as Marilyn approached with the spatula in hand, grinning evilly, a shocked expression crossed his face...and he disintigrated into nothing.
"Oh good. I was not looking forward to that. That's not what I wanted at all". sighed Merry. "But now how do I get free?"
Hopping into the room, came a small group of Easter Bunnies of Pastelness. As they began nibbling at the ropes holding Merry, their leader, Flopsy, asked Merry for his help.
"The Dark Highlander, who sent the Marilyn Manson Devil after you is now dead, thanks to Good Rice Cube, XenaKat and Ares. But Ares is in trouble with the rest of the gods for bringing Pippin back from the dead. Would you please speak in his defense?" said Flopsy.
"Huh? Pippen dead! No!!! " shouted Merry.
"No...not anymore," said Flopsy. "Pippen is fine now. Also, there is going to be a wedding. We will be needing a Ring Bearer. Would you or Pippin like to have that honor?"
"Wedding? Whose?" mused Merry.
"Why....Ares and XenaKat of course...who else?" giggled Flopsy.
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Peregrin on 06/21/03 at 11:23 p.m.
Pippen was indebted to XenaKat for arranging my second coming (spell checked to avoid scandal !).
I have a special request for you Xena...
Can you please postpone your wedding, to help my rescue my beloved Merry?
I believe Merry is being held hostage by Evil Queen Spatula >:(
Let's take all of the cutlery we can find and slice, dice and Julienne (whatever that is) the Queen.... :P :P :P :)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/21/03 at 11:27 p.m.
Actually Peregrin....Merry has already been rescued...by the Easter Bunnies of Pastelness....formerly the Devil Bunnies.
Merry is being led by the sweet little bunnies to the trial of Ares. The wedding will most likely take place immedately after.
Hopefully he will be cleared of all charges. ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: XenaKat13 on 06/21/03 at 11:30 p.m.
And since Pippen has graciously agreed to help defend Ares in his trial before the other gods, he has been awarded the coveted post of Best Hobbit in the wedding party.
The now-rescued Merry shall be "Ring-Bearer." ;)
Subject: Re: New Store E.
Written By: Mike_Florio on 06/21/03 at 11:37 p.m.
Can I be Best man, or do I have to be a stinkin' usher?